Emma squeezed her eyes shut at the sharp pain from Darby’s words cut into her insides. This wasn’t what she wanted to hear right now.
“I don’t know so much about that. I would ask him…if he were here.”
Emma couldn’t look at her. She didn’t want Darby to see how much it upset her that Gabe wasn’t there. If she could pretend it didn’t matter, she might not think about it too much. But Darby was having none of that. She turned Emma around by the shoulder.
“Well, ask him when he gets back. Where is he?” she asked.
Emma finally raised her gaze to Darby’s. “I don’t know,” she whispered, her voice betraying her uncertainty. “He was gone when I woke.”
Darby opened her mouth to speak, but disbelief rendered her speechless for a moment. She took a breath and tried again. “What are you trying to say? That he left?”
Emma shrugged again. “I don’t know. All I know is that we had an amazing night, or so I thought. We made love so many times… Then I woke up just now, and he was gone. No note, no message. No Gabe.” She took a deep breath and said the words that resounded through her head. “I think perhaps he thought it was a mistake.”
Darby put both hands on her shoulders and stared hard. “No, Emma! If he thought that, he’d hang around and tell you himself. He wouldn’t use you and leave. There’s got to be a good reason he’s gone. Maybe he went down to the bakery to get you something for breakfast?”
Emma bit down hard on the hope that sprang up with those words. “Maybe, but I don’t think so. I have a funny feeling that something’s not right. Maybe last night he realized he didn’t really want to be with me at all. It wasn’t exactly planned. We were arguing. He told me he wasn’t attracted to me, and we…”
She looked away, not able to stand looking into the same eyes as the ones she’d spent the night staring at.
“No! I don’t believe that. The only reason he’s been telling anyone who’d listen he’s not interested is because he’s been trying to convince himself of that. He’s had a major thing for you since the first night you came to the Cow.” She continued when Emma nodded. “It wouldn’t have even happened once if it had been a mistake.”
Emma looked back at Darby. “Did he tell you that? That he was interested?”
Darby frowned. “No, but he didn’t have to. We could all see it. He just tried to pretend he wasn’t. He couldn’t stay away from you—even while lying to himself. No. I won’t believe it.”
Emma looked Darby in the eye. “Was there a, you know, a…a…bet, or anything like that? To see if…” she trailed off, unable to repeat what was going through her head. Just the thought made her feel sick even thinking it.
It took a moment for her meaning to click. When it did, Darby’s face went white.
She put her hands on Emma’s face. “No! He would never…and if there had been, he would’ve flattened anyone who dared take it. Dan would’ve had his turn too. There would’ve been a huge uproar about something like that,” Darby insisted.
Emma’s eyes teared up, despite her best intentions to keep control of herself. “Then where is he?”
Darby’s hands fell from Emma’s cheeks. “I don’t know. Have you tried calling him?”
Emma shook her head. “No. I only woke up not long ago.”
Darby pulled her phone from her pocket. “Okay. We’ll have this sorted out in a moment, you’ll see.” She hit a speed dial…and waited. Darby’s expression became expectant, then she frowned. “Dammit. It rang out. I’ll try again.”
Darby swore after a few seconds. “It went straight to voicemail. He must be out of range.”
Emma’s stomach plummeted. It had rung the first time. He wasn’t out of range. He just didn’t want to talk. That didn’t bode well for her.
“Listen, I’m going to have a shower. Help yourself to some coffee, okay? I might be a while.” She turned and walked to the door without waiting for an answer.
“Emma?”
Emma half turned in Darby’s direction. “Yeah?”
The concern in Darby’s grey eyes almost broke her heart.
“Don’t give up on him, okay?” she pleaded. “Please.”
Emma nodded, and continued down her hall. She was going to have a very long shower and try to wipe the last eighteen hours of her life from her head with the hot water. Along with the man who had caused those hours.
Darby had asked her not to give up on Gabe. But there was nothing to give up on.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Gabe shook his head and swore.
Darby.
He pressed the Off button and tossed his phone onto the passenger seat. He wasn’t going to talk to her, or anyone. Not now, not today. Not at all about this. He knew that was why she was calling him. He leaned forward and rested his head on the steering wheel, doing his best to wipe the images of Emma from his mind.
It wasn’t working.
He kept seeing her. Her lips, her body, her reactions to him. Over and over again in his head. Someone needed to tell his idiotic brain she was no good and that she was out of his life—because he couldn’t seem to get it through his own thick skull.
Emma’s reactions had been real. He knew enough to realize that. It was just that she was a liar and a cheat, and he couldn’t go there. It was too damned painful. She couldn’t be trusted, so he’d done the only thing he could.
He’d left.
Before he could wake her up and take a piece out of her for her lies. How the hell was he supposed to make peace with what had happened last night? She’d been every man’s dream, responding to his touch, his kisses, his body and wanting more and more until he thought he’d just about die in bliss.
All that didn’t change one important thing—she had a husband. Named Alex.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Three days.
Three stinking days. No one had heard from Gabe, other than a text he’d sent to Darby to say he was in Pueblo—somewhere—on the first day.
Then, his phone had been turned off.
It was bad enough he’d left her house without a word after what she’d thought was an amazing night together, but to have left town altogether was beyond shocking. It was painful.
Emma was just settling in, getting to know people and having them stop and talk to her. Welcome her even. Now this.
Somehow the entire town knew about it. Not the details, but they knew Gabe left because of her or something she must have done. But Emma had no idea what it could be.
She’d passed through upset, denial, and now she was starting to get angry.
Fine. Gabe didn’t want anything to do with her anymore. He’d gotten what he wanted and obviously she’d been found lacking. But did he have to make a federal case out of it? To disappear like that? He was a grown man, not a teenager. Why couldn’t he confront her and tell her it had been a big mistake? Why did he have to run?
Gabe had told Darby that he hadn’t run, that he was in Pueblo buying stuff for his business and that he needed to spend some time there. But that was a lie of epic proportions.
To think she’d actually—
Emma’s head spun to her left. A pink VW Beetle barreled out of nowhere and slammed head on into the front of her pickup. The momentum of Millie’s car pushed them into the center of the road, half spinning her around, the Beetle’s nose buried deep in her engine bay.
Emma sat staring at the wrecked car in front of her, her breath shortening and coming in gasps.
Oh God, no…no…not again.
Emma’s eyes were screwed shut—images…sounds…smells—all flashing and whirling through her head at an alarming rate. Her hands still held the steering wheel, her knuckles stiff in position.
She opened her eyes to escape them, but they didn’t stop. The scene Emma was seeing wasn’t the one in front of her, but one she’d hoped never to relive again. One from three years ago.
Blood…everywhere. There’s so much blood.
Emma jumped at the ban
ging on her window. She looked out to see Millie gesturing wildly for her to get out of the car. Emma blinked a few times, the images of moments ago fading as reality set in. She tried to open the door but it was stuck. Glancing over to the passenger side, she climbed over the seat and slid out onto the blacktop.
“What the hell is your problem? Are you blind? You stupid idiot! My car’s wrecked, just look at it!” Millie ranted. She’d rounded the side of the car, obviously unhurt.
Emma glanced around her; her voice didn’t seem to want to work. From all indications it was Millie’s fault, not hers. She’d run through the intersection without yielding at the sign.
People streamed out of the shops. Drivers stopped their cars to check and see if they were both all right.
Emma looked at the mess that was the front of her car and stepped back, averting her gaze from it. The twisted metal was too much to comprehend right then. The images from her past returned with an intensity that took her breath away.
A truck. The twisted remains of her car.
Emma inside. Alex. Sasha.
Blood.
Her hands, then her whole body, began to shake. Millie’s angry voice droned on in the background, making no sense, getting louder when she got no response from Emma.
Emma’s hand flew to her mouth as bile rose in her throat when she saw Alex’s bloody face. She looked down to stare at the phantom metal pillar spearing through her side. Her hand swept through the image, swiping over her uninjured stomach, but it was still there. She could still see it. She spun around, desperately looking for something, anything. She grabbed hold of the side of her pickup and heaved.
Hands touched her, grasping and pulling as the shaking only got worse. She could see people she knew overlaid on the images in her head. She couldn’t tell what was real.
A sob escaped Emma’s mouth as she stepped back, pulling away from those invasive hands. She scrunched up her eyes, digging the heels of her palms into them to try and physically erase the images from them.
The hands were back. Touching. Feeling.
“Don’t touch me,” she whispered. “Don’t touch me!” she screamed when they wouldn’t stop.
She stumbled back, her heels clattering over the gutter and onto the sidewalk. People all around her were following, but staying back, unsure what was wrong.
How could she tell them all she’d killed her family?
Chapter Twenty-Six
Gabe drove slowly down Main Street toward the town square. He dreaded coming back to the questions that would undoubtedly be there when he arrived, but he couldn’t stay away forever. His animals needed him, at the very least.
He frowned to himself as he neared the bakery. Cars were everywhere, pulled up in the middle of the road at the intersection. He slowed down even more and sucked in a startled breath when he realized Millie’s car was jammed into the front of Emma’s pickup.
Gabe stopped and killed the engine, shoving his door open just as a very worried Darby spotted him from the sidewalk. His mother stood with Emma, her arm around Emma’s shoulder, trying to get Emma to look at her.
Even with her skin a pasty ghost-white, the sight of her hit him in the gut like a sucker punch. His attention was pulled from her by Darby’s hand grabbing his arm. He turned his attention to Darby.
“Gabe! You’ve gotta come. I don’t know what’s wrong. I don’t think she’s hurt but she’s gone all weird and she looks sick. Hurry!” Darby pleaded as she dragged him toward the scene.
His feet were already on their way. It didn’t matter that he had a major problem with Emma. If she was hurt, he couldn’t turn his back on her. And she really didn’t look well, at all.
Emma backed away from them all as Gabe sprinted toward her. If she went much farther, she’d end up in the shop behind her, via the plate-glass window.
Gabe pushed through the throng that had gathered, all well-wishers, but all crowding her, making it worse. Millie’s strident voice carried over them all.
“I don’t know what her problem is. She’s just weird, if you ask me. Send her back where she belongs. We don’t need her here.”
Rage boiled up within him. “Enough, Millie! What is your problem? Can’t you see there’s something wrong?” He pushed through the last of the crowd to stand in front of Emma.
Millie’s astonished expression at his presence was comical.
“Gabe? What are you doing here? I thought she ran you out of town.”
Gabe turned his attention to Millie for a moment. “Don’t be an ass. I was in Pueblo buying stuff for the practice.”
He wasn’t going to let her know how close to the truth she really was. It was none of her business.
Emma stood with her face buried in her hands, her whole body shaking.
What was wrong that a minor accident had this effect on her?
He placed his hands on her shoulders. “Emma? Hey, Emma…look at me.” Her breathing grew worse as he watched. He was going to have to get her attention somehow.
“Emma,” Gabe said firmly, his voice louder. “What’s wrong? Tell me, honey.”
His voice must have permeated the fog she’d hidden behind. Her hands dropped and she stared up at him.
“Gabe? You’re back?” she whispered around her sob, unbelieving.
He nodded. “Yeah, I’m here. Why are you so upset? I’m sure the car can be fixed. We’ll take it to Max. He’ll fix it up like new for you.”
Her expression morphed from fear to anger in a heartbeat. “I don’t give a fuck about the car! Crush it. I don’t care.”
Gabe blinked at her cussing. He hadn’t heard her swear once in all the time he’d spent with her. A huge sob escaped her. Her hand went to her mouth to stop more from following. Her eyes teared up, fat drops rolling down her cheeks as he watched.
What the hell was going on?
“Then what’s wrong?” he asked, confused.
“They’re dead,” she whispered, her eyes glued to his. Her face crumpled. “And it’s all my fault.”
Gabe looked around them. People shook their heads at him, as confused as he was. He didn’t try to hide his confusion any longer. “Who’s dead? What are you talking about?”
She stared at him. “I killed them.”
Gabe grabbed Emma as her knees gave way, catching her as she fell. He scooped her up and turned around. “Okay. Move, everyone! Let me through.” He spotted his mother just behind him. “I need your office,” he said, and hurried toward the bakery as the crowd parted before him.
Emma’s sobs into his chest soaked his shirt where her head lay. Her arm snaked around his neck as if she was afraid to let him go.
What was she talking about? Who was dead? No one had been hurt, as far as he could see.
Gabe hurried through his mother’s shop, around the counter and into the office at the back. The one-way mirror showed people following them into the bakery as he glanced up. He shook his head. They all meant well, but they were the nosiest people he’d ever met.
He sat down on his mother’s sofa and cradled Emma on his lap. His mother wouldn’t let anyone past the front counter who didn’t need to be there. Gabe stroked Emma’s hair back from her face.
“Now tell me what’s going on. Emma, I need to know. Who’s dead?” he asked softly over her sobs.
Emma’s hand was up near her face, resting on his chest. Her fingers curled into the material of his shirt as she tried to talk past her tears. “I was in a car accident three years ago. A truck hit my hatchback. A drunk driver.” Her words halted for a moment, caught in her grief. “They’re dead. They’re both dead.”
Emma pulled back to look at Gabe, her face a mess of tears. “M-my husband, Alex, and my daughter, Sasha. She was only one. One,” she whispered. “I killed them, Gabe. It’s all my fault. If I’d bought the car Alex wanted, they’d still be alive.”
Emma collapsed against him, her heavy sobs shaking her against him. He glanced up at movement in the doorway to see his mother and Darby st
anding there, their faces mirroring the shock he felt. Darby’s hands were at her mouth, tears rolling down her cheeks.
Alex was her husband.
He was also dead, and Gabe had left without finding out the truth because he’d been so worried about being the one getting hurt.
How will she ever forgive me?
Gabe brought his hand up to stroke Emma’s hair. “Why didn’t you say something to someone? You’ve been carrying this around all this time? You didn’t need to go through this alone.”
“I didn’t want you all to know I killed them.” Emma spoke into his shoulder, her voice muffled. “I was driving. I was responsible for getting them where we were going safely, but I was too busy arguing with Alex.
“It started about the car, then I told him I knew he’d been cheating. He had a girlfriend. The whole time I was pregnant, he was seeing someone else. He said I was ugly. That he would never have gotten me pregnant if he knew how fat I’d get. I told him to move out. I-I didn’t see the truck run the r-red light.”
Emma heaved in a shuddering breath. “It hit us on his side and mangled the car. A metal pole went through my side.”
Holy Mother of God. That was what the scar was from.
Gabe tightened his arms around Emma, holding her close, trying to ease some of the pain. He didn’t know if he was helping or not, but it was the only thing he could do.
“I’m so sorry, Emma. I know that doesn’t help, but I am sorry. No wonder you freaked out. You said you had a daughter?” he asked gently. He wouldn’t mention the scum husband, a man who obviously had no idea what he was giving up by cheating on her.
She nodded into his chest, settling more comfortably against him. “Sasha. She was only one and a bit. She was everything to me. I have a photo I keep in a locket on my key chain.”
Gabe kissed the top of her head and pressed his cheek to her hair. He’d seen the locket. Had never thought to ask what was in it.
“I’d like to see it. When you’re ready to show me.”
Emma nodded again. “I wish I’d done what he’d said and gotten the car he wanted. If I’d been paying attention, I would’ve seen the truck. Now I have to live with the fact that I killed my own family.”
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