Anger at the truck driver swelled in Gabe. “It wasn’t your fault. How could it be? The truck hit you, not the other way around. Okay, so you weren’t paying attention. We’re all guilty of that at some point. You certainly didn’t expect a truck to come from nowhere and plow into you. You’re not responsible for other people’s bad choices, no matter how it affected you,” Gabe said, his soft words muffled against her hair.
Gabe sucked in a gasp.
She wasn’t responsible. And neither was he.
Realization hit him hard. He wasn’t responsible for Sami. She had made her own choice, and now he needed to let it go.
He looked down at Emma. Seeing her pain and self-blame for something she could never have controlled had opened his eyes to the truth. It was something people had been telling him for years, but he couldn’t see it. Until now.
“Emma?” Gabe said quietly. She’d finally settled down in his arms, her sobs having faded to the odd sniffle. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
“What?” she asked.
Where to start?
“I want to apologize for leaving the other morning. I don’t know if you can forgive me. It was heartless, but I did have a reason. At least, I thought I did,” he added.
She shook her head against him. “You don’t need to. I understand. It was a mistake, and you didn’t want to say so. I get it.”
She thinks I don’t want her.
Shock made his voice tight. “No, that’s not it at all. That was the most amazing night I’ve ever spent with anyone. I didn’t want it to end.”
Emma slowly sat up and turned around to face him, confusion plain in her teary eyes. “Then what happened? Why did you leave and not call? You even turned your phone off.”
Gabe closed his eyes briefly. How was he going to explain this without looking like a complete and utter fool? He opened them to look at her, willing Emma to understand.
“I was lying there with you, early, and I kissed you.” He took a breath. “You called me Alex.”
Emma’s eyes widened into huge orbs.
“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean—”
Gabe shook his head. “It’s okay, that wasn’t the problem. I figured he’d been someone important, and your subconscious associated me with him. I’ve read about it. It happens quite a lot apparently. But I got curious and asked you who he was. You said your husband.”
Her hand flew to her mouth. “Oh no. And you thought…”
He nodded. “I thought you were married. I thought… I didn’t know what to think. Darby probably told you I went through a bad breakup?” At her nod, he continued. “Two years ago, I was engaged. We fought. A lot. I’d been thinking for a while that it wasn’t going to work. Anyway, she came home one day and told me she was pregnant.”
Emma’s hand slowly moved from her mouth to rest on his chest. “What happened?”
Gabe sighed. “We argued. I told her that bringing a baby into our relationship, as it was, was a big mistake. I wanted to know how it could’ve happened because we always used protection. Neither of us was ready for kids. She accused me of being a coldhearted bastard.” He shrugged. “I probably was. I just couldn’t see how a baby could be a good thing when we couldn’t even get along. I never meant for her to do anything about it. As far as I was concerned, it was there, whether right or wrong. It never occurred to me…”
Emma gasped, her eyes filling with tears again, but this time for him. “Oh, Gabe. No.”
He sent her a twisted smile. “Yeah. She came home the next day and told me she’d had an abortion. Threw the information packet at me and stormed out.” Gabe looked down at the floor, unable to handle the compassion in Emma’s eyes. “I didn’t know what to do. I thought I’d caused her to kill our baby. I thought it was my fault. I called my parents, and they came around. Then there was a knock at the door.”
Gabe looked back at Emma. “It was Sami’s lover. He hit me—hard. He’d come from Pueblo to confront me for making Sami get rid of their baby. It wasn’t even mine. She’d gotten herself pregnant by this guy and tried to pass it off as mine. She thought that since I had my own business and more money than he did, I would be the better choice.”
Emma didn’t speak. Just leaned forward and put her arms around his shoulders and held him. Gabe brought his arms up around her and buried his face in her neck. How could he ever have thought that she was like Sami? She felt so right in his arms, so good. He’d never felt like that before.
Gabe turned his head to kiss her jaw, his lips grazing across her warm skin. He breathed deeply, drawing her scent into his lungs. He pulled back and touched a hand to his face, surprised to feel moisture on his fingers.
Emma rubbed her thumb over his cheek, wiping it away.
“You poor thing. No wonder you reacted like that. Leaving, I mean. It must have brought back some awful memories. You must have thought I was just like her,” she whispered, her eyes sorrowful.
Gabe stared at Emma in awe. “You’re amazing, you know that? I spent the night with you, then disappeared, and you’re concerned about me? What I experienced is nothing compared to what you went through. I had a failed engagement. With a cheat, mind you. You lost your family. It doesn’t even come close.”
Emma smiled sadly at him. “It’s all relative. To you, it was everything, because that’s where you were in your life. It must have been horrible. To find out the woman you loved not only had cheated, consistently, but was pregnant and killed something so important, so precious, over an argument. Your whole world must have turned upside down. It gave you an insight that must have shocked the hell out of you.” She shrugged. “I wish you’d told me or confronted me so I could have explained.”
“I panicked. I wanted what happened so badly. Then, when I thought you’d been lying to me, I had to get away. To try and sort out my feelings. You must have been pretty confused when you woke up,” he said, his eyes seeking hers. He wanted to explain himself, to give her a reason to believe in him.
“That’s an understatement. I was upset and angry. If I’d known what you’d been through, I would have been less so, but it still would’ve hurt. Especially since I didn’t know what sent you running. At least it’s out in the open now. I actually feel better not having to hide it anymore.” Emma’s eyes turned sad.
Gabe shook his head. “No one would’ve thought badly about you. They all like you too much.”
“I didn’t want them to feel sorry for me either. Pity would’ve been worse than accusations.” She stared at a point on his chest. Her fingers played with the material of his shirt, nervousness conveyed through her touch.
“I moved here to get away from everything. My memories. The whole town was too familiar. It felt claustrophobic. Like I would never be able to breathe properly again. I grew up there and, even though it was much bigger than here, I was always running into people I knew.”
Gabe pulled her closer, resting her head against his shoulder.
“I can’t even imagine. Everyone here was so supportive. But it got to be too much there for a while. After about a month or so, some of the girls started coming around, just to ‘see if I was okay’.”
Emma gave a wry chuckle. “Hunting you already? Not very polite of them.”
“Mmm.” Gabe’s cheek pressed against the top of her head. “Something like that.”
Emma sighed and relaxed into his body. “So why didn’t you date any of them later on? It’s been years. Millie would jump at the chance.”
Gabe couldn’t help the slow smile spilling onto his mouth. “Would it help to say I was waiting for the right girl?”
Emma sat back and pinned him with a cynical stare. “That’s a little too cheesy. Try again.”
“Don’t believe me? Fine.” His grin faded, and he held her denim-blue gaze with his own. “I didn’t want to ever be in that position again. I blamed myself—for all of it. I thought I’d failed her somehow. That it was my fault a child had been killed. It’s taken me this lo
ng to realize that simply wasn’t true. I was too scared to let anyone close.”
Gabe reached up a hand to twist a curl around his finger. It coiled around his hand, just like she’d wrapped around his heart. “Until I met you. Then I was scared I would lose you, so it was easier to pretend I didn’t want you. If I didn’t want you in the first place, how could it matter either way whether you gave a damn?”
Emma laid her head on his shoulder, her face pressed into his neck. Her hand stroked the hair at his nape, her fingers twisting in the strands.
Gabe closed his eyes and breathed deeply, the scent of her shampoo rushing into his lungs and down inside him.
How had he lived without this for so long? His body cried out for her touch, even a touch as innocent as this. Placing a kiss on the top of her head, he glanced up. The local sheriff stood in the doorway, hat in hand.
Gabe’s soft voice broke the silence. “I think we need to take care of your pickup.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
The keys rattled in Emma’s hand as she slid one into the front door. Her hand shook so much that she couldn’t turn the key in the lock. Gabe covered her hand with his own and turned the knob. The door yawned wide in front of them. “You don’t have to be nervous.”
She threw him a tentative smile over her shoulder. She looked like she was getting cold feet.
Gabe turned her around by the shoulders. “I don’t have to come in if it’s too much. We can go as slowly as you want. I can come back another time.”
Desire, equally mixed with patience, washed through him. Resolve brightened her eyes, followed by trust. That simple look drew him in and sucked him under.
“I don’t want slow. I want you.”
She stepped backward over the threshold and turned. She walked down the hall, turning toward her bedroom at the end of hallway. She glanced at him, still standing in the doorway, and disappeared from sight.
That was all the encouragement he needed. Gabe shut the door and hurried down the hall after her, his shirt unbuttoned and in his hands by the time he reached her bedroom doorway. He stopped dead, all air sucked from his lungs, from the room, at the sight before him. Emma knelt in the middle of her king-sized bed, upright, with her back to him. Naked.
Gabe grabbed hold of the doorjamb, certain that if he didn’t he’d fall to his knees and have to crawl to her. He made no sound as he moved toward the bed, his hands busy removing his shoes and jeans.
He knelt on the bed behind her and reached out a hand, stopping just shy of the creamy-white skin of her back, hesitant now that he had her in his grasp.
His knuckles grazed the ridges of her spine, following them from her neck down to the dip above her ass. Goose bumps erupted and spread outwards from the path his hand took, encompassing her entire body. Unable to help himself, he leaned in and pressed a kiss to the velvet skin of her shoulder.
A shudder racked her frame. Muscles twitched beneath his touch, clenching, anticipating.
Gabe closed his eyes, needing a moment to calm himself, worried that if he didn’t, he would lose all control. The scent of her bare skin tightened his body to the point of release in the space of one heartbeat.
Calm, Gabriel. Calm.
He wanted this woman so much. Needed her.
He kissed up over her shoulder to the curve of her neck. Emma turned her head, her hair sliding and falling to the side, giving him access to the soft, tender skin there.
His hand slipped under her arm and trailed over her ribs to cup the weight of her breast, resting it in his palm. He traced his thumb over her nipple. She thrust the rigid peak against his skin.
A soft moan floated on the air around them, knocking one more chink from his armor of control.
Letting his hand fall from her breast, Gabe kissed her neck. Scraping his teeth across the sensitive skin, he trailed up to her ear, taking the soft lobe into his mouth just as his fingers slid between her legs.
Emma’s head fell back onto his shoulder, limp in his arms. He moved, positioning himself, so ready for her he only held on to his control through sheer determination.
“Emma? Do you have any protection?” he whispered.
Emma forced her eyes open. She nodded and pointed at the nightstand. “Top drawer.” She trailed off. Her voice wasn’t working properly anyway. She could barely breathe, let alone hold a conversation. Gabe’s scent was all around her, inside her, part of her.
He reached over and grabbed the small box from the drawer, repositioning himself behind her. The crackle of foil reached her ears. She felt him move, his chest pressing more firmly against her back, too drunk on sensation to do more than wish he’d hurry. His fingers returned, stroked, played her.
Velvet hardness pressed against her, beneath her.
His fingers kept up their rhythm, stroking, guiding, pressing. Gabe grasped her thigh with his free hand, moving her slightly and leaning her forward.
Air erupted from her mouth, her eyes flying wide open as he filled her, burying himself inside her, his mouth on her neck licking, teeth scraping, turning her into a slave for the release only his body could provide.
Emma speared her hand into Gabe’s hair, holding his mouth to her neck while he owned her, pushing deeper each time.
Her breath caught, shuddered, stalled in her lungs. The feel of him inside her overtook her mind. Ecstasy built, winding around her bones, teasing each nerve, spiraling through her blood in a whirlwind.
Emma bit down hard on her bottom lip, her head thrust back, her eyes shut against the storm rising within her.
Gabe grasped her hips and pulled her harder, tighter, faster onto him.
Emma’s cry burst from her parted lips, echoing around the large room. Her chest heaved with the effort to take in enough air, her lungs burning, straining for relief.
Gabe’s fingers clenched hard against her skin. Emma was plastered against his front, boneless. He raised her that little bit more, that one infinitesimal amount, his hands holding her in place.
Mouth pressed hard to the smooth, sweat-slicked column of her nape, Gabe whispered, “I love you, Emma.”
Moments later, Gabe came apart behind her. The force of his climax, along with his declaration, thrust Emma over the edge once more, her body surrendering to his
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Emma lay on her side where she’d collapsed moments earlier. There was no way she could move. She no longer had any muscles.
Gabe’s hard body pressed up against her back, his heavy breathing slowing and evening out. One arm draped over her hip possessively, his hand splayed flat on her stomach.
She managed to catch her breath. A small smirk started at the edges of her lips and wound up into a full smile, refusing to be quelled.
I love you, Emma.
She bit her bottom lip, trying to stop her happiness from leaking out all over the place. They said you could never believe a declaration of love from a guy trying to get you into bed—well, Gabe wasn’t sixteen and he’d already had her in bed. He didn’t need to give empty promises to get what he wanted. She’d been more than willing and hadn’t asked for a guarantee.
She wriggled farther back, squirming into Gabe’s chest. His whole body wrapped around her.
Emma placed her hand over the top of his where it lay on her stomach. The slight ridge of one part of her scar ran beneath his hand, disappearing around her side, then under her. He’d never mentioned it, not even the night they’d spent together. He’d kissed the line of it that night, traced it down over her abdomen with his mouth, but had never asked how, or why.
Stroking over the top of his hand, she ran her fingers up to his wrist, playing with the light dusting of hair she felt under the pads of her fingertips.
A hint of nervousness knotted her stomach. She’d been feeling this way, and fighting it, since she’d first met him the morning he’d come to play handyman and patch her broken pipes.
In the process, he’d patched her broken heart as well.
&nbs
p; “I love you too.” Her words were soft, almost too quiet to be heard, but his breath stilled all the same. The creak of the timbers in the old house was the only sound she could make out as she strained to listen.
Gabe pulled back from her and rolled her over to face him. “What did you say?”
Emma dropped her gaze from his, looking at anything around the room. Anything but him. He’d already heard what she said, so she may as well make it official.
“I said I love you too.” Her eyes darted back to his, making it a challenge, daring him to ridicule her admission.
Silver light entered his stormy-grey gaze, brightening it to a light, sexy slate. “Now, that would have to be the best thing I’ve heard all day.”
Emma’s smile came back full force, a giggle of relief bubbling up out of her mouth. Before she could think of an appropriate response, a bang and the clatter of tiny hooves sounded from the kitchen, echoing down the hall, coming closer with each breath.
Ralph burst into the bedroom and clattered to a stop on the polished floorboards beside her bed, his huge ebony eyes staring over the side at them. He lifted his head and placed his nose on the edge of the comforter, snuffling and bawling.
Emma looked up at Gabe and bit her lip hard, trying not to laugh.
“I thought he was outside?” Gabe lifted a brow and reached over to scratch the calf’s nose.
Emma’s laugh erupted. “He was. I’m guessing that was my screen door we just heard go bang.” She contemplated Ralph, eyes nearly closed in response to Gabe’s scratching. “I take it you’re hungry?”
Gabe’s chuckle joined hers. “I’m thinking Captain Destruction here is going to have to come back to the farm. He’s grown quite a bit in five weeks. We can’t have him wrecking all your hard work fixing this place up.”
Emma twisted her head to look at Gabe properly. “I thought you didn’t have time to look after him? That you would have to put him down?”
Gabe had the grace to look shamefaced. At least for a moment. Until the smug satisfaction set in. “I may have exaggerated a little.”
Breathless Page 15