Forever Mine

by Monica Burns

  “If that’s what you want,” he said quietly as he forced a smile to his lips. She frowned and narrowed her eyes at him.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “What makes you think there’s something wrong?” He shrugged with a nonchalance he didn’t feel.

  “Because I know that look.” She glared at him with suspicion.

  “And what look would that be?” he bit out between clenched teeth as he remembered other arguments they’d had. She was as exasperating now as she’d been all those years ago.

  “It’s the one that says you’re not happy with me.”

  “Why would I be unhappy with you?” he said as he shoved his hand through his hair. “I can wait until you’re certain of your feelings.”

  “My feelings?” She stepped forward to press her hands into his chest. Her sapphire gaze filled with warmth and love, she shook her head.

  “This isn’t about me,” she said softly. “It’s about how you feel.”

  “How I feel. What the hell are you talking about?” Nick drew in a deep breath of frustration and confusion.

  “I love you, Nicholas,” she said softly as she touched his cheek. “But this idea of…it’s all still new to you. I want you to be sure of what you’re feeling.”

  “I am sure,” he said in a firm voice. A pensive expression darkened her features as she shook her head.

  “No, I don’t think you are. Nora’s told me how difficult all of this has been for you,” she said as her fingers caressed his cheek. “I just want you to understand and believe that the man I fell in love with in the past is the same man standing in front of me now.”

  “I won’t deny that it’s been rough coming to grips with something I’ve never believed in until now.”

  “Which is why I want us to take a little time, even if it’s only a couple of days.” When he tried to object, she pressed her forefinger against his lips. “I just want you to understand that I love the man you were. And even though I know nothing about your life now, I love the man you are today. I want you to be as sure of me as I am of you.”

  “I am sure of you,” he growled with frustration. “I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life, but if you think a couple of days will make me feel even more convinced of how much I love you, then fine.”

  “Thank you,” she said with a laugh.

  “You still have me wrapped around your finger. You know that, don’t you?” he grumbled, annoyed that she could manipulate him as easily today as she had all those years ago. She laughed.

  “Come on, I want to see more of the city, and I can’t imagine having a better tour guide,” she said as she pick up her purse and slung it over her shoulder. “Although I do need to make arrangements for a hotel.”

  “There’s no need for a hotel. Nora offered to put you up until you figure out what you want to do.” He drew in a deep breath. “And there’s always my place. I have a spare bedroom.”

  “I’d like that,” she said huskily as she kissed him on the cheek. “We had separate bedrooms at Brentwood Park.”

  “I think we had mergers on numerous occasions in one or the other on a regular basis,” he muttered as he turned away to roll the wheelchair out into the hall where he left it against the wall.

  He winced as he heard Victoria’s laugh follow him out the door. He’d not meant for her to overhear his remark. Nick returned to the room and grabbed the handle of her wheeled suitcase. With a sweep of his hand, he waited for her to walk out of the room ahead of him. The amused smile curving her lips had him teetering on the edge of irritation and laughter. He opted for laughter. As they headed down the hall toward the lift, Nick took her hand in his as he’d done a hundred times before.

  § § §

  Laughter bubbled out of Victoria as he ushered her into his townhouse. For the past four days, Nick had taken her sight-seeing to some of the out of the way places in the city. Tonight they’d gone to see a play at the Lyttelton Theater, and had argued passionately, yet lovingly, the whole way home as to the validity of themes in Shaw’s work. The door closed behind them, Nick nodded toward the kitchen.

  “I chilled some wine. Would you like a glass?”

  “That would be nice,” she said with a smile as she moved into the living room.

  “That day in the salon with Mr. Lockwood, I almost refused to do this second portrait. I was furious with you,” Victoria called out, her voice carrying into the kitchen as Nick removed the cork from a bottle of wine. He dropped the corkscrew with the plug still on it onto the counter, then with the wine bottle and glasses in hand, he walked into the living room. Victoria looked at him over her shoulder and smiled. Arching an eyebrow at her, Nick grinned as he set the wine and glasses on the coffee table.

  “And I recall being sincerely repentant. Besides, I’m certain I would have found a way to make you do my bidding if you’d protested.” He came up behind her to wrap his arms around her waist and pull her backward into his chest. Victoria looked up at him.

  “Oh, I’m sure you would have,” she said with a laugh. “I’m glad you have it though.”

  “I wasn’t about to sell it any more than I would the formal portrait.”

  “The plaque at Brentwood Park said you donated the reproduction of the formal portrait,” she said with a curious frown. “Where’s the original?”

  “In my office at the gallery,” he replied. “My uncle bought it for me when I was a teenager. I couldn’t take my eyes off it.”

  “And yet you refuse to believe it meant something?”

  “Why do I think that between you and Nora, it’s going to be a long time before either of you stops pointing out my stubbornness?” he groaned, yet unable to hide a grin.

  “At least you’ve improved with age,” Victoria teased him with a laugh. “A long time ago you refused to believe I was from the future.”

  “And yet I became a believer once you were gone,” he said with a quiet remorse for having doubted her.

  “Do you remember much of the past?” she asked softly as she continued to stare up at the portrait.

  “Some. Things you do or say bring back memories,” he said as he rested his chin on the top of her head. “It’s all bits and pieces of images jumbled together.”

  Victoria lifted the gold locket she was wearing and opened it. Her fingers traced the gold edges surrounding the portrait of Andrew. There was a wistful, poignant manner in the way she stroked the edge of the jewelry he’d had made for her when he was the Earl of Guildford.

  “He was a beautiful little boy, wasn’t he?”

  “Yes, and incredibly bright.” Nicholas shook his head in baffled amazement at the conviction he heard in his voice.

  “You say that as if you’ve already read the journals.” Victoria shot him a glance.

  “Well, I did write them,” he teased.

  “Then read some of it to me.”

  Victoria twisted out of his arms and picked up one of the volumes on the table. She flipped it open, turned to a random page, and handed him the book. As he sat down on the couch, Victoria poured them both a glass of wine. Nick took a drink of the merlot then set his drink on the end table as Victoria curled up beside him with her wine glass in hand.

  Andrew jumped into the pond today when my back was turned. Edmund sounded the alarm, but by the time I reached the water’s edge, Edmund had already pulled our son out of the pond. Your brother-in-law was extremely put out with Andrew. Even though I know you would have been angry at our boy’s foolhardy behavior, I am convinced you would have found it difficult not to laugh at Andrew’s reply to Edmond’s chastisement.

  “I am seven years old, uncle Edmund. There comes a time when you must accept that I am almost a man.”

  Victoria laughed out loud and Nick looked down at her. His heart swelled at how much he loved her when he considered the incredible circumstances that had brought them together. With a tender kiss to her brow, he continued reading.

  I found myself having to turn away in
order not to laugh at Edmund’s flummoxed expression or Andrew’s obvious frustration. I have no doubt you would’ve found it difficult to maintain a straight face as well, my love. It is moments like these when I miss you the most, sweet witch. I know how much joy you would have found in Andrew’s determination to declare his independence.

  He has inherited my commanding nature, or rather bossiness, for which you had always berated me. He demonstrates that trait far too well, much to the dislike of one Miss Jane Redding. You remember I mentioned earlier that Sebastian and Anna lost their first child, a boy, but their younger children, Jane and William, have eased some of the sorrow my friends experienced. They visit Brentwood Park often, and while Jane manages to put Andrew in his place, she is still devoted to him.

  Sebastian and I have speculated as to their future, but Anna has severely reprimanded us both for doing so. I shall close for now, my darling, sweet witch. I miss you lying in my arms when I go to sleep each night. If I could have just one more day with you, I would express all the regrets I have, and tell you over and over again how much better my life is for having loved you.

  Forever yours, Nicholas

  Nick’s voice trailed off into silence as he stared down at the diary entry that an expert would say had been written by his own hand, not that of a man who lived decades ago. Victoria’s hand reached out to touch the back of his.

  “Do you remember any of this?” There was a note of pain in her voice.

  “Some of it,” Nick said quietly as he lifted her hand up to kiss her fingertips. “Mostly it’s the emotions. They’re the most powerful. Things like the sorrow Anna and Sebastian experienced when they lost their boy, Sebastian. Their pain was similar to the agony I experienced when…”

  Unable to put into words what he was experiencing, he closed his eyes at the unexpected agony flooding through him. He wrapped his arm around Victoria and held her close. She was here, with him, and all was well. The sorrow was in the past.

  “I know what Sebastian and Anna must have felt. All I could think about when I woke up was you and Andrew. I knew I would never see him grow up, and it devastated me as much as losing you, but in a different way,” she rasped before bowing her head.

  The moment teardrops splashed on his hand he pulled her tight, and she sobbed into his shoulder. He was helpless to do anything but stroke her hair. Slowly, she cried herself into silence, and he simply held her without speaking. She’d lost so much when she’d woken up in that hospital bed. He knew she’d been grieving in silence for the past few days. Despite the happiness they had found in their reunion, he knew Andrew had been on her mind. Nick pressed a kiss against her temple.

  “It will be all right, my love. Andrew had a good life. He was happy.”

  “I know the journals will tell me that, I missed so much,” she said forlornly.

  “You gave me a precious gift, Victoria. Our son was my connection to you through the years. He helped me get through the rough times.”

  “Listening to you read from the journal, I can hear how much you missed me,” she whispered. Nick nodded.

  “If not for Andrew and Edmund, I’m not sure what I would have done. Those first two years were the bleakest of my existence. But Edmund refused to let me wallow in my grief. He was quite persistent in his nagging, despite my snarling.”

  Nick shook his head and released a barely audible sound of astonishment as the memory of a moment with his brother pushed its way up into his consciousness. Being with Victoria was like opening a floodgate of memories buried deep inside him. Some were as clear as if he’d just experienced them yesterday. Others were more vague and elusive. She laced her fingers in with his and looked up at him.

  “What happened to Anna’s and Sebastian’s son?” she asked softly.

  “He came down with the flu, which developed into pneumonia. Anna and Sebastian were grief stricken. Sebastian took it the hardest. I’m certain Anna’s beliefs allowed her to accept young Sebastian’s death more easily.”

  “I can’t tell you how little she’s changed,” Victoria said with a note of amazement in her voice. “She was there for me when I desperately needed a friend in the past and when I woke up at the hospital. I was in so much pain. All I could think about was you and Andrew. I thought I’d dreamed it all. But the worst part was thinking I’d lost you forever.”

  “I wanted to be there when you awoke, but I know now how difficult that would have been for you,” Nick said in a reflective manner. “I’m simply grateful you woke up.”

  “And now? How do you feel now?”

  “If you’re asking me if I love you, then the answer is yes,” he said in a quietly firm voice.

  “But do you believe that when I look at you, I see you as the same man? The past and the present are the same. You’re not competing with the man I fell in love with. I’d love you no matter what time or place we were in,” she said in a cautious tone of voice, her expression wary.

  “How the hell do you know I’ve been worried about that?” At his question, she arched her eyebrows and rolled her eyes.

  “I love you. I know how you worry about the things you think are important, but really aren’t.” Victoria leaned into him and kissed him softly, and he could feel the deep love in her kiss. She pulled back slightly. “The bond we forged in the past hasn’t changed. We’re both still the same people. The differences between you, then and now, are so insignificant that I barely notice them.”

  “Will it make you happy if I tell you that these past few days have made me understand that?” he said with a chuckle. “But the one thing I’ve never had any doubt of is that I love you. I’ve felt that way since the day I saw you in the shop, even if I didn’t understand it.”

  Nick tugged her down into his lap and kissed her hard. He needed to taste her and feel the passion he’d experienced in the past. He wanted to feel her bare skin against his as he made love to her. Nick’s hand slid up to cup one breast as his mouth slid down the side of her neck to nibble at her soft skin. She drew back from him with a small laugh.

  “I want to put something comfy on. I’ll be right back.” Victoria finished the last sip of her wine then set her glass on the table. His heart crashed into his chest. She wanted him. He was certain of it.

  “Shall I join you?” he murmured as he trailed his finger down across her neck to the hollow of her throat.

  “Maybe—I need to think about it.” The enticing smile on her lips made his cock harden in his trousers. He growled with frustration at her teasing manner, but didn’t push the issue of how much he wanted to be inside her.

  “I’ll get another bottle of wine.”

  “Are you trying to get me tipsy, Mr. Barrows?” she said with a laugh as she stood up to make her way out of the living room.

  “Would you let me?” he said with a grin as she looked down at him.

  “I might. I’ll let you know when I come back.”

  Nick went to the kitchen and pulled out another bottle of wine and uncorked it. He returned to the living room and set the merlot on the coffee table. Moving toward Victoria’s portrait, his gaze focused on the mischief and seductive expression on her face. A faint glimmer of a memory swept through him as he stared at the painting. He’d not been happy with the artist for some reason.

  “Nicholas.”

  The soft, sultry sound of her voice wrapped around him in an intimate way. She was the only person he ever wanted to hear saying his full name. He slowly turned around to face her, and the air left his lungs at the sight of her. With nothing but a sheet wrapped around her, Victoria sat on the arm of the couch, her expression as seductive as the one in the portrait on the wall. Nick dragged in a deep breath.

  “Sweet Jesus,” he rasped. “You know how to catch a man’s attention.”

  “I take it you don’t disapprove.”

  “No, but I’d better be the only man you ever pose for like this,” he growled as he closed the distance between them. Slowly, he traced the line of her should
er with his fingers. Her skin was smooth as silk.

  “You’re the only man I want, Nicholas,” she whispered as she let the sheet slip from her fingers to expose her beautiful breasts. “I love you. I need to show you how much I love you.”

  Nick groaned then tugged her into his arms and crushed her lips beneath his in a deep kiss. A second later, he yanked the sheet completely off her, slipped his arm under her legs, and lifted her up to carry her into his bedroom. A soft sigh escaped her as he laid her on his bed, and she watched him undress.

  He was already hard with need, but the hunger in her sapphire eyes made his cock tighten until it ached for a release only she could satisfy. When he was naked, she came up on her knees to press her palm against his chest before her fingers slowly trailed a path downward to take him in hand.

  “You’re just as beautiful now as you were then,” she said in a husky voice that made him bend his head and kiss her deeply.

  Her arms wrapped around his neck, and she pulled him down with her as she fell back onto the mattress. The memory of her scent teased his senses, and he breathed in the sweet fragrance of her. His mouth left hers to caress her jaw line down to the curve of her neck. A soft mewl escaped her as he lightly nipped at her shoulder then worked his way down to the lush curve of her breast.

  Nick took his time exploring her inch by inch. It had been a long time since he’d held her like this, and he wanted to savor her. When her hands cradled his head in an effort to make him take the tip of her in his mouth, he ignored the silent plea. Instead, he continued his way down to her stomach. In the back of his mind, a memory of her bucking against his mouth, made him kiss the indention between her hip and thigh. Her body squirmed beneath his touch. It was an indication of the growing need inside her. He kissed the inside of her thigh then lifted his head. The moment their gazes met, she stretched out her hand to him.

  “Dear God, Nicholas,” she pleaded. “Will you stop torturing me like this? I need you.”

  “Not just yet, sweet witch,” he rasped. His slid one hand up over a supple leg until his fingers parted her already slick folds. She moaned, and he breathed in the soft musk of her desire then dipped his tongue into her tangy heat.