Blood Moon

by A. D. Ryan

  I nodded. “Most of it, yeah. It’s still a little hazy, and I was definitely in and out of consciousness. Is it…” I cringed, remembering the way my bones shifted beneath my skin and the rippling and tearing sensation of my fevered skin. “…always that painful?”

  “In the beginning,” Nick replied, seeming to ponder the question for a moment. “The pain lessens over time.” He shrugged, looking contemplative. “Or maybe we just grow used to it. I guess it’s hard to really tell.” Glancing down at my duffle bag, he added, “You ready?”

  “Yeah. I think so.”

  “Okay.” We walked toward the door, but before I could reach for the knob, he opened it for me. A small smile of appreciation formed on my lips as I whispered my thanks, and we were on our way.

  My car had remained in my driveway since David parked it there after our dinner with my folks, and I balked before opening the driver’s door, remembering that David was the last one to sit in this seat. And the last thing we did before he died was fight. That would eat at me forever.

  It wasn’t until I felt a hand on my back and heard Nick’s soft voice that I snapped out of it.

  “Brooke?”

  Shaking my head, I tossed my bag in the backseat. “Sorry. I got lost in thought.”

  “You wanna talk about it?”

  “Not really,” I muttered, nodding toward the passenger side. “Get in.”

  Complying, Nick rounded the front of the car and opened the passenger door. Once we were both belted in, he turned his head to me. “So, did you want to drop your things at your parents’ house?”

  Shrugging, I put the car into gear and pulled out of the drive. “Nah. I’ll give them a call and let them know I’ll be over later tonight.”

  “You know,” Nick said gently. “You could always just stay with me and the Pack.” Glancing over, I found him staring at me hopefully. “Obviously, you’d take my bed and I could continue to camp on the floor…or I could even take the couch to offer you more privacy.” There was a brief pause, and I sensed his slight discomfort. “I just think it might be easier if I’m going to teach you how to track and hunt…not to mention how to shift.”

  I contemplated his offer, knowing that it would probably be easier—for a number of reasons, not just the obvious werewolf-in-training parts. For one thing, Nick and the guys were less likely to bring David up at every turn, whereas my parents would want to talk about it as a way to overcome the grief. I didn’t want to talk about it. Not right now, anyway. All I wanted to focus on was catching the bitch responsible for this whole mess and teaching her a lesson.

  So, while it might have made sense to stay with Nick, I honestly didn’t know what I would tell my parents. This meant I would have to resort to sneaking out or coming home late. It would be like being a teenager again. On the plus side, I should be able to pass off any strange behavior as grief.

  “Thanks for the offer,” I began. “Really. But I think it might be best if I stay with them a little longer. I’ll probably find myself in a hotel in a few days if I find I need the privacy, but I’ll keep you informed.”

  “Brooke,” Nick interjected. “If you find yourself looking for privacy from your parents, don’t waste money on a hotel. My door is always open to you.”

  I promised to consider his offer seriously before he instructed me to head just outside the city. In such a heavily populated area, it would be hard for us to find the privacy we needed to talk about everything that was going on while teaching me the tools I would need to master my new abilities.

  We drove out to Apache Trail. It was late enough in the year that there wouldn’t be too many people out hiking the trails, and we’d be sure to keep off them enough to stay out of sight. As we drove, Nick explained that he and his Pack frequently hunted here. It should have been weird to me that he didn’t just shop at the grocery store to eat some of his meals, but I actually understood it—craved it, even. The thought of running carefree through the trails, weaving around cacti, bursting through a bush, or leaping over other obstacles or desert terrain sounded exhilarating. But when I added in the possibility of a rabbit or some other kind of prey, I found myself salivating and desperate for that release of adrenaline.

  Two hours had gone by, and I wasn’t growing any closer to figuring any of it out. The only thing that seemed to be increasing was my irritation level. I was in the middle of the desert, stark naked and barely hidden by a bougainvillea bush. My entire body trembled, beads of sweat covered every inch of my skin, and my breathing was deep and ragged after having failed again.

  Initially, I worried about stripping down in front of Nick, but then acknowledged the upside: my clothes would remain in one piece so I could walk out of here after all of this and not look like I’d been mauled by a wild animal or physically assaulted. Besides, it wasn’t like Nick had never seen me naked, and what did I have to be embarrassed about? It helped that he was a gentleman and turned around while I disrobed.

  Never mind the fact that there was absolutely nothing sexy about this entire situation. Thankfully, Nick didn’t ogle; his eyes always remained on mine to keep me from getting uncomfortable.

  “This isn’t working,” I growled, frustrated.

  Nick went over the steps once more: relax, clear your mind, and let your instincts take over.

  Seemed simple enough, but the problem lay in the fact that trying to change your entire anatomy put a lot of stress on the body. It was all I could think about, and my instincts were to get dressed and call it a day. Nick informed me that I’d almost done it a couple of times, but I couldn’t recall what I did differently, having given into the pain and blocked it out briefly.

  “You need to focus,” Nick reminded me over and over again, sounding slightly frustrated. “Stay alert and accept the wolf. Don’t deny it access to your body and mind.”

  “I am,” I barked angrily. “I’m not ready.”

  “Yes,” he interjected. “You are. You shifted days ago—without the full moon. You can do it again. You just have to believe you can.”

  Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and tried again. I visualized the changes my body would go through, and while they weren’t particularly pleasant, I forced my way through it. But imagining it didn’t make it real. Everything stayed the same, with the exception of the monstrous headache I now sported.

  “I can’t,” I repeated, my emotions quickly morphing from frustration to anger and disappointment.

  “You can.”

  I know he was trying to be supportive, but I wanted to punch him in the face. Really fucking hard.

  Seeing my growing ire for his irritating positivity, he smirked. “Okay, maybe we should try this another way. Instead of trying to bring the wolf out unnecessarily, what if we tried to trigger it?”

  “Trigger it?” I asked. “How, exactly?”

  “By recreating how you feel when you’re around one of them,” he explained.

  My stomach clenched and turned, and my blood burned through my veins. I knew this feeling. I recognized it, and like Nick recommended, I embraced it instead of ignoring it.

  Unfortunately, that was as far as it went.

  Before I could admit defeat again, though, Nick reached into his pocket and threw something at me. It startled me at first when it hit me in the face, and as I pulled it away, I inhaled deeply. Flames ignited, licking the walls of my veins and setting my lungs on fire as the memory of the smell slammed into me.

  The smell of death and rot burned my insides, the subtle hint of jasmine doing very little to mask it. My skin itched and tingled as heat emanated from my pores, and my body trembled. I identified the feeling, and I knew I was supposed to accept what was happening, but my previous inclination to push it down took over.

  “Don’t fight it,” Nick said, taking a satisfied step back, folding his arms across his chest.

  I shook my head, though I wasn’t sure if it was to push away my acceptance or my denial. My vision darkened, and the beast clawed its w
ay to the surface, unrelenting and unwilling to let me suppress it.

  My muscles tensed, my flesh burned and tightened like it was two sizes too small for my body. The urge to let go arose—just like it did last time. I prepared to refuse it again, but I looked up, meeting Nick’s gaze, and I focused.

  “It’s amazing, isn’t it?” he asked, his voice low and gravelly. “Feeling your body become stronger.”

  His words affected me physically as well as mentally, and I reveled in how powerful I felt. In an effort to help the process along, I thought about how my bone structure would change, forcing me onto all fours instead of my more natural upright posture. I imagined the way my organs would have to shift in my new body, how my teeth would elongate, and the hair that would sprout all over my body—that last one was the most disturbing to me considering how much time and energy went into hair removal. Then the imagery recoiled like a spring, snapping back almost painfully.

  Instead of going back to feeling…normal…I was dizzy and out of sorts, unable to concentrate on anything. My eyes failed to see much of anything, and I fell to my knees. The pain didn’t stop, though, and my mind started to retreat.

  “Don’t fight it, Brooke,” Nick encouraged, dropping to his knees right in front of me, having rushed over to help me through this. He was blurry at first, but soon he came into focus, and my breathing increased along with my heart rate. “It’s incredible—unlike anything you’ve ever experienced before.” I glanced down at his hands as he leaned forward and curled his fingers into the dirt. “Feel the dirt beneath your feet. Revel in the way the air runs through your hair as you dash through the woods, hunting with your pack at your side.”

  The tightness in my muscles intensified, and my skin quivered and crawled. A rumble built in my chest, the sound increasing with every passing second. Then the pain took over. My body experienced the equivalent of being engulfed in flames and then ripped apart as my bones shifted and cracked beneath my fevered skin. I clenched my eyes shut tightly, digging my fingers so far into the earth that the cool, moist clay embedded itself under my nails. The low growl that had been building in my chest escaped in the form of a painful scream that echoed through the desert, forcing the birds from their homes and the smaller animals to scurry from their hiding places among us.

  I felt his finger beneath my chin, coaxing my eyes back to his. They were brighter around the pupils now, the amber rings growing and taking over the blue, and his voice was comforting as his thumb stroked my cheek. “You’re fighting this—and that’s only natural. Your mind doesn’t want to leave. It thinks something dangerous is trying to take over.” My arms and legs trembled beneath my weight, and I tried to retreat back into the darkness—to escape the pain and confusion. But Nick wouldn’t let me. His intense stare held me captive. It grounded me.

  “If you allow yourself to believe you’re in danger—even for a second—you’ll lose control. You’ll black out like the first time.”

  Everything calmed down around me, but my heart continued to race. Darkness crept in around the outer edges of my eyes, slowly overtaking my entire line of vision. There was a ringing in my ears before I heard nothing at all, and I quickly succumbed to the anesthetized state I found myself in, sinking deeper and deeper into the abyss. When I finally allowed myself to rest, something clicked, and Nick’s voice broke through the darkness like a beacon guiding me home.

  “But if you just acknowledge the wolf—accept everything she has to offer—you’ll realize you are the wolf, and that’s the most powerful lesson.”

  My eyes fluttered open slowly, the smell of soil and grass filling my head. Nothing was clear at first, that weird tunnel vision taking over before clearing up, and I pushed myself to my feet. My legs were unsteady, barely holding me up, but I finally found my bearings...on all fours.

  I’ve done it.

  While it wasn’t the first time I’d shifted—nor was it the first time I’d remembered parts of it—it was the first time I did it of my own volition. I made this happen, and I remembered every excruciating detail.

  “Brooke?” Nick inquired, searching my eyes for some kind of sign that it was me in control and not the wolf.

  Because I wasn’t used to being like this, I tried to tell him. Obviously my human vocal chords didn’t quite work the same, and all I could manage was a bark. The sound startled me at first until I realized it came from me, and my skin warmed beneath my fur with a blush.

  Chuckling, Nick pulled his shirt off, and I turned away out of respect. “You want to go for a run?” he asked. Beside me, the bush rustled, and I looked over to find his shirt and jeans hit the ground, then his socks and shoes. Forgetting my manners for a brief moment, I glanced back to find him on all fours, going through the beginning stages of the change. Curious, I turned around fully and sat down to watch, hoping to maybe catch a few pointers.

  His change was much swifter than mine was, but this likely had something to do with his seven years of experience. He didn’t appear to be in pain as his bones cracked and hair replaced his slightly tanned skin, and soon, there was a light sandy-brown wolf before me. He approached me warily, his eyes bright and tail wagging behind him. My own tail swished back and forth as his nose touched the hair at my neck, pressing deeper and inhaling. I did the same, standing up and running my head and neck along his affectionately, memorizing his scent as I brushed against him.

  This is weird, I thought to myself as he licked my left shoulder, his wolfy brow furrowing sadly. Before I could overanalyze everything, Nick turned his head and nipped my flank before running off, his tongue hanging out of the side of his mouth and a playful glimmer in his eyes. With a yelp of surprise and then a bark of challenge, I bolted after him. I raced through the desert, kicking up dirt and dead grass with my feet as I darted around and beneath the bushes in hopes of closing the gap between Nick and me.

  Feeling the wind through my fur was exhilarating, and my adrenaline surged. I picked up speed until I was neck and neck with Nick, playfully nudging him. All my worries were temporarily forgotten, and I reveled in the reprieve…until my attention was suddenly diverted when the wind picked up, bringing with it a strong odor that pulled me inexplicably from my carefree jaunt through the woods.

  It didn’t take me very long to recognize the foul smell, stopping me dead in my tracks so abruptly that I left grooves in the dry trail. Nick stopped almost as suddenly when he realized I was no longer beside him, and when his eyes met mine, he made the same connection that I did: there was a vampires somewhere nearby. Another sniff. It was distinctly female. And confident.

  Without another thought or any indication as to what I was going to do, I took off in the direction the smell came from, not once stopping or slowing down. My desire for vengeance drove me again, and nothing was going to stop me from destroying this bitch.

  Chapter thirty | vengeance

  The world around me ceased to exist as I raced toward the edge of the desert and straight toward civilization. I knew I should have been more aware, but the only thing I could think about was how amazing it would feel to rip Gianna limb from limb. The violent thoughts were unbridled, and I should have been more concerned, but I actually took comfort in them. I imagined what it might feel like to wrap my powerful jaws around her throat, biting down until I felt her neck snap.

  The second I was clear of the trails, something slammed into my side, distracting me from the hunt as I rolled over a few times before finding my footing again. My skin trembled, releasing the dirt and grass from my coat as I looked in the direction the hit came from, and I saw a large sand-colored wolf standing in my path.

  Nick.

  My ears flattened against my head, and my lips curled back in an angry snarl. Nick took on a defensive stance, readying himself for whatever attack might be coming his way, but he didn’t match my aggression. Instead, he looked at me calmly, almost pleadingly. I couldn’t read the expression on his face, but I desperately wished there was a way to communicate with hi
m. Did he not smell it? Why was he stopping me? He should be helping me.

  Slowly, he stalked toward me, and when I defied him with a growl, he flattened his ears and challenged right back, nipping at me until I stepped backward. Every time I tried to dart around him, he jumped in my way, snapping at my feet like he…like he was shepherding me.

  Yes! That was exactly what he was doing! He was pushing me back, and it only served to infuriate me further. I continued to try and dodge him, but he was quicker than me, anticipating my every move, and soon we were back on the trails. Angry at being driven away from what I so desperately craved—Gianna’s life and retribution for David’s death—I lunged for Nick, and we tumbled to the ground. My teeth snapped wildly, finally sinking deep into the scruff of his neck, but he twisted beneath me, gaining the upper hand until he had me pinned to the ground, his mouth around my throat. His teeth didn’t puncture my skin, but I felt them pressed against my jugular menacingly, and I submitted, much to my chagrin.

  Hesitant, Nick released me, taking a step back but never taking his eyes off me. I was still upset about being interrupted, but I slowly came to my senses, rolling onto my stomach. Breathing heavily, I watched as Nick’s body quivered before he reverted to his human form.

  Completely naked, he stood up, and my eyes remained locked on his, waves of defiance still coursing through my veins. He held his hands up in front of him and stepped toward me. “Brooke,” he said softly, his deep voice having an odd calming effect on me. “I need you to shift back. Concentrate—just like you did when you changed before.”

  With an unintentional whimper, I stood and looked away, trying to visualize my body changing back. I tried to will my fur to shed—or whatever the hell it was supposed to do—and I focused on my bones, hoping it didn’t hurt as much this time around.