by Tracey Smith
“Yeah, thanks again for dinner. It was nice.”
“Look I know this is short notice, but there’s this fundraiser that my firm is holding tonight and I was hoping you might be free.” I could practically imagine his tail wagging.
“You bet she’s free.” Amy said from behind me and I twirled around to shoot daggers at her with my eyes. What was she doing?
“Great!” Rick exclaimed “Okay so it’s semi-formal. Starts at 5. How about I just meet you here when you close shop?” I had the feeling he was talking so fast so I wouldn’t have the chance to back out.
“Sure.” I conceded.
I didn’t have the energy to think of a decent excuse not to go, and poor Rick looked so eager. Besides, I thought with a sinking despair, Michael hadn’t asked to see me again tonight.
Amy insisted on going home to bring me a dress that she thought I should wear. When she returned she was fully armed with an arsenal of curling irons, hair spray and make-up. I had the suspicion that she’d only pushed me into another date so that she could play dress up with me again.
I cooperated. Allowing her to primp all she wanted until I was buffed, sprayed and polished to her satisfaction. I had no excitement over the upcoming evening. I was just ready to get it over with.
Rick arrived on schedule and I looked at myself one last time in the small bathroom mirror. I didn’t even recognize myself. I hated these formal events. I was out of my element.
I walked out into the lobby and saw Rick talking with Amy. He was elegantly dressed in a very handsome suit, every hair in perfect order on his head. I tried to show the proper amount of enthusiasm for the evening as I strode over to greet him.
Then Amy cleared her throat and I realized she was staring across the shop. I followed her line of sight and saw Michael staring back at me.
His dark hair was tousled and falling into his eyes, he wore a paint stained t-shirt and an old pair of jeans. He took my breath away. I was shocked and thrilled to see him. I hadn’t expected to see him again. Not after the way he’d acted last night. I had convinced myself that he was not interested in me. That the emotions I’d felt were one sided. But the fire that burned in his eyes as he stared at Rick told me differently.
I fumbled through an awkward introduction wondering what to do. I wanted to talk to Michael alone. I wanted to know why he’d come tonight, I wanted to understand the meaning behind the look in his eyes. But suddenly the fire cooled he smiled lightly and said “See you around Katherine” as he strode out the door and out of my life again.
My heart followed. It was all I could do not to run after him. I was terrified that I would never see him again. I was torn between my love for him and my pride.
To run after him would be to abandon all pride. It would mean laying my feelings out for him to accept or reject. After the emotional roller coaster I’d been on over the last few days I wasn’t sure if I could take the rejection.
So I let him walk away, and I went to the fundraiser with Rick. I’m not sure what we were raising funds for. I’m not sure if I even spoke at all throughout the evening. My thoughts never left Michael. I couldn’t stand the not knowing. Not knowing how he felt. Not knowing where this was going. I’d spent too long waiting for him, thinking of him to play this game now. I decided rejection was better than not knowing.
I would do it. I would put it all out there. I needed to know what he felt for me, so I would start by telling him what I felt for him. If he was interested in me he was going to tell me. If not then he would have to tell me that too.
I left Rick at his fundraiser with an apology and not much explanation. I took a cab to the beach and walked out to the cliff where I’d hoped I would find Michael. He was there, sitting on the edge.
“I thought I’d find you here.” I said and he turned around and stood to face me.
The sun had set and it was too dark to read the expression on his face. We stood quietly in a moment of darkness then he took three long strides forward closing the distance between us and without a word took me in his arms.
I felt his hard mouth crush over mine with a need that matched my own. I reached up and ran my fingers through his hair just as I had imagined doing and grabbed fistfuls of it as he deepened the kiss. I moaned and leaned back as his mouth trailed down across my neck and back up again. His arms pulled me tight against him and I felt a warmth growing inside me that I had never known. Not until Michael.
Slowly he softened the kiss and then gently pulled away. He stroked his hand down my cheek and I could see the depths of his blue eyes glowing in the dark.
“I can’t control myself with you.” He whispered.
“Then don’t.” I said straining up to kiss him again.
The kiss was soft this time, not as urgent as the first but still it stirred my desire. It felt so good to finally be kissing him. To feel his arms around me. To have broken through the wall that had been between us. All the words I’d thought to say were lost. All that mattered was this one moment. This kiss.
“Did you eat?” he asked pulling his face back but still holding my body tight against his.
“No.” I whispered against his neck as I leaned in to kiss his throat. It felt so good to finally feel free to kiss him. I didn’t want to stop.
“Is my rain check for dinner still good?” he asked as he nuzzled my neck.
My heart leaped as I nodded my head, unable to speak. He kept his arm wrapped around my waist as he led me back to his truck.
“Where’s your car?” He asked when we got to the dirt lot.
“Still at the bakery. I took a cab here.” I admitted sheepishly.
“What would you have done if I wasn’t here?” He asked with amusement in his eyes and a smile that was almost smug.
“I would’ve called Amy.” I said with a shrug “If you’ll take me back to my car you can follow me to my place.” I offered trying to hide the nervousness in my voice.
He opened the door for me and I climbed in the cab of the truck. Suddenly I was nervous and excited and anxious all at the same time.
“Look, Rick is just a friend.” I tried to explain suddenly feeling like I needed to. “He came by the shop today and asked if I’d go to some fundraiser with him. I didn’t really want to but Amy agreed for me and then she went way over board with the hair and clothes. I guess I shouldn’t have really gone along with it but…” I trailed off as he laid his hand over mine. I knew I was rambling.
“It’s okay Katherine, you don’t have to explain.” But something in his voice told me he was relieved to hear the explanation.
“I just wanted you to know that I’m not like dating him. I mean, I guess it was a date, but not like a real date.” I felt completely ridiculous
“So are we dating? Like a real date.” He asked casually with a smile on his lips.
“I thought… I mean I hoped…” I didn’t know how to finish
“I hoped too.” He whispered squeezing my hand and the butterflies inside me erupted.
He pulled the truck up to the curb and turned to me. I was relieved to see him looking perfectly relaxed with that sexy smile on his lips. None of the tension I’d seen the night before.
“Okay, so follow me.” I said smiling nervously and hoping it didn’t show.
“Right behind you.” He assured me
I jumped out of the truck and walked to my car, this time trying not to skip. My heart was soaring. I giggled at the realization that he’d been jealous when he saw me with Rick. I felt so foolish for thinking he wasn’t interested in me. Something must’ve been on his mind last night, and I was just being overly sensitive. I just didn’t have enough experience with men to understand them. But I wouldn’t let him see that. I would show him that I could be exactly what he wanted, what he needed in a woman.
My heart raced as I wondered if I could actually go through with this. I wasn’t sure if I’d know what to do. I looked in my rearview mirror and saw his truck following me. I was actually bringi
ng a man back to my place. No, not just a man. Michael.
I pulled into my apartment and parked in my usual spot. I tried to lean casually against my car waiting for him. Hoping he would not see through the charade and realize how much I was trembling on the inside. He parked a few spaces down and then walked over to me looking confused.
“You live here?” He asked
“Yeah, why?” I wondered if there was something wrong, his expression looked bewildered.
“I live here too.” He told me and for a minute I thought he was joking, but the look on his face quickly told me he wasn’t.
“For how long?” I asked in amazement.
“A couple of years. You?”
“Same”
We both just stood in the parking lot staring at each other wondering at the meaning. How could we have lived in the same building for several years and never met? Then I realized how rarely I was home. There were plenty of neighbors I hadn’t met.
“Fate.” He stated simply as if that one word explained it all.
And somehow it did.
I smiled and took his hand and pulled him toward the door.
We walked inside together and went to the elevator. We ascended in silence and I wondered if the elevator had always been this slow. The tension in the air was palpable. Could he feel that too?
He followed me to my apartment still not speaking. I opened the door and he followed me inside. I turned to face him and before I could speak he pulled me into his arms and kissed me again. I wasn’t expecting it this time, but the flood of desire that filled me immediately replaced the momentary surprise and completely overwhelmed me.
“I’m sorry.” He said pulling himself away too quickly.
I didn’t even think of a response. I wouldn’t allow my mind time to ponder why he should be sorry. I was too consumed with my desire. I reached forward grabbing his face and pulled him back against me kissing him again. I pressed by body against his and he let out a low groan against my lips as he reached his arms around me and pulled me in even tighter. He ran one hand up my back until it reached the base of my neck. Then he reached up with both hands and pulled out the hairpins Amy had so expertly applied earlier in the evening.
“I like your hair down.” He whispered in a throaty breath as my hair cascaded down around my shoulders.
His kisses became more urgent, more demanding. I allowed myself to get lost in the moment and realized I didn’t have to think, I only had to feel.
“I’m trying… but you’re so… I can’t.” He panted incoherently between kisses.
I pulled away and looked into his eyes. Did he not want this?
“I’m sorry.” I mumbled looking at the floor so he wouldn’t see the tears in my eyes “I shouldn’t have… if you don’t want to…”
He grabbed my chin and pulled my face up. His mouth crushed down over mine before I could pull away. I was so confused. I had no idea what he wanted, why he hesitated. All I knew was I never wanted this moment to end. I never wanted him to stop kissing me.
I pulled him toward the couch as we kissed and we slowly lowered our bodies without breaking our embrace. He supported himself over me delicately, but I reached my arms around his waist and pulled his body down on mine more firmly. I wrapped one of my legs around his waist pressing our bodies together. I felt the hardness growing between his legs and it stirred something inside me. I wanted him.
I knew this was all moving too fast. It was completely irrational. I had always considered myself a logical person, but there was nothing logical about this. I had never been so driven by my emotions before, and these emotions were all new to me. Maybe that is why I was so overwhelmed by the intensity of them. I had never felt so completely drawn to another person, so attracted, so consumed with desire. I was overflowing with new emotions and desires that I never imagined I could entertain. It was amazing and bewildering and overpowering.
I felt his hand slide under my shirt and I shivered at the new sensations I felt. His hand felt so hot against my skin. He rested his hand on my rib cage just below my breast, again he seemed to be hesitating. I tried to sit up and he immediately pulled back allowing me to sit.
Without saying anything I lifted my shirt over my head and then removed my bra. Slowly he reached his hand forward and cupped my face in his palm. I leaned my head into his hand and he bent forward to kiss me, gently this time not as intensely as before but the effect was just the same.
My head swam with the dizziness I felt as his lips gently brushed against mine. Then still kissing me softly he ran his hand down from my face along my neck until finally it reached my breast. I shuddered as I felt his hot hand squeeze my breast tenderly.
He softly kissed my mouth then traced his lips along my jaw line. He brought his other hand up to cup my other breast as he kissed my neck and then brushed his soft lips along my collarbone. I leaned my head back and let out a soft moan when I felt his mouth find my breast. His tongue played with my nipple softly and I felt my whole body shiver. Then he pulled away and I snapped my head back up to see why he stopped. He looked like he was in agony. I couldn’t understand why.
“Are you sure?” He whispered studying my face.
“I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.” I replied and reached forward to remove his shirt as well.
I looked at his amazingly sculpted body and reached out to run my hand down his muscular chest until it rested on his pants. My hand was shaking. I had never done anything like this before. I looked back up into his eyes and knew without a doubt that this was what I wanted.
I stood and took his hand pulling him up from the couch. We walked silently toward the bedroom hand in hand. Once through the door I turned toward him and he looked deep into my eyes again. I reached over and undid the button on his jeans. He smiled and helped me with mine.
We undressed silently and stood there looking at each other’s bodies. I had never seen a grown man naked before. Not in person anyway. I stared and the butterflies in my stomach started fluttering around again. He stepped closer to me and leaned down to kiss me gently leaving a small space between our naked bodies. As soon as he began kissing me again the nervousness vanished and was replaced by pure unadulterated passion. I pressed my body into his, feeling all of him against my naked burning skin. His kissing became more urgent and we moved toward the bed.
He lowered me down and again placed his body over mine. I spread my legs apart letting him settle in against me. I felt his hardness pressing against my soft wet center as he kissed my face and neck. I had never been so aware of that part of my body before. I could feel my pulse throbbing there as if all the blood in my body was being redirected to that one spot.
Instinctively I raised my hips toward him and he hesitated for a moment, pulling his head back to search my eyes again. I reached up pulling his face down to mine and kissed him with all the passion I felt. He kissed me back, and I spread my legs farther apart as he pushed himself inside me.
I drew in a sharp breath at the initial pain I felt when he pressed himself into me. He paused as my body tensed. Then he began moving slowly, gently. I relaxed and accepted all of him, moving my body in synch with his.
Our bodies moved together connected in the most intimate way. It felt like our souls were connecting. I felt almost like I would cry, but only out of pure joy. Waves of pleasure washed through my body as he rocked against me. He moved slowly at first, tentatively, but just like with our kissing the intensity of his movements grew stronger. I let my senses take over and moved my body against his.
The pressure inside me grew, building in intensity until I wasn’t sure if I could handle anymore, then suddenly the dam broke and I screamed in ecstasy as my body shook beneath him. He too seemed to reach this new level with me and his body trembled on top of me as he let out a low moan of his own. Finally he relaxed and pulled away lying next to me on his side one arm and leg still draped across me.
I nestled my head against him, our sweaty bod
ies still intertwined as our breathing slowed. We just lay like that for several minutes, not speaking. We didn’t need to, no words could compare to what our bodies had just expressed.
Suddenly I was exhausted. My eyelids felt so heavy. I allowed them to close as I snuggled in closer to Michael. He kept me held tightly in his arms and just as I was drifting off to sleep I heard him whisper.
“I love you”.
Chapter 20: Forever
The only thing better than falling asleep with Katherine in my arms, was waking up with her. She looked so peaceful as she slept next to me. Her hair wildly tangled around her face, a slight smile on her lips. As always her beauty unarmed me.
I had thought that meeting Katherine had been the best day of my life, but every day since then had topped the one before, culminating in last night. I thought about how she had touched me, how she had responded to my touch. It was like nothing I had ever experienced before. Surely she couldn’t regret that, she had wanted me as much as I had wanted her and it had been so amazing to be with her.
She started to stir in my arms and I realized she was beginning to wake up. Instinctively I tensed, not sure what the morning would bring. I tried to brace myself for anything. As her eye’s fluttered open I could feel my anxiety building as I waited for that unmistakable look of regret. But when her eyes finally focused on mine all I saw was love, and my heart overflowed with it.
“Good morning.” She smiled at me sleepily.
“Morning.” I watched her face waiting to see the comprehension. Waiting for her to remember last night. Had we moved too fast? Had I ruined everything?
“I’m so happy its Sunday.” She said stretching and then she laughed at my confused expression.
“My day off.” She informed me. Then she propped herself up on one elbow and stared into my eyes for a moment.
“Are you okay?” She asked studying my expression. I tried to feel my own face, wondering how I looked to her.
“I’ve never been better in all my life.” I told her honestly.