My Best Friend and Other Enemies

by Catherine Wilkins

  I mean, I just wanted to make a point. I didn’t want to be actual enemy rivals with them. I was kind of hoping they’d go, “Hey, you’re a force to be reckoned with, we misjudged you and will never cross you again,” or something. You know, like what everyone says is meant to happen when you stand up to bullies – they don’t just beat you up even more, no, you earn their respect. Or something. I don’t know.

  Anyway, the point is, I have made my point. I’m pretty sure I have. I’m feeling quite optimistic about it actually.

  When will I learn? Never be optimistic, Jessica. Never. It just makes everything so much harder when you have to adjust back to reality again.

  I entered my form room this morning (Wednesday) and there was no sign of Natalie or Amelia at all. On my desk was a posh, white piece of card, with specially printed pink and silver writing on it.

  It said, “Dear member of CAC. You are hereby invited to the official CAC outing this weekend …” Then it listed where they were meeting (the mall) and what they were going to do (the cinema and the pizza place) and even advised on bringing enough money for popcorn and stuff.

  As I held it in my hand, for one second I thought that maybe it was for me. I mean, they put it on my desk. Maybe Natalie and Amelia were really sorry that things had escalated and got daft, and maybe they wanted to include me in their gang after all.

  I immediately thought this was unlikely, but for some reason my brain really latched on to it, and played out this whole scenario for me. Natalie had probably had to talk Amelia round a bit. She’d probably said, “Look, Amelia, Jessica is my best friend, and either she’s in or I’m out,” and Amelia would have had to let her have her way.

  I imagined Natalie and Amelia coming back into the form room, and Natalie begging me to be her friend again, and I’d say, “It’s OK, of course I forgive you! Don’t speak another moment. Let’s just be best friends again!” And then we’ll hug, and an orchestra will play in the background, and the rest of the form will clap and cheer.

  Like I say, I got kind of carried away with the idea. And I was still sort of in this daydream, holding the invite, when Natalie and Amelia did come back into the form.

  Except Amelia said, “Urgh, you-know-who is touching one of our lovely invites.”

  And I said, “It’s OK! I forg—”

  And Amelia said, “What?”

  And then I quickly said, “It’s OK, I fo-und your invite for you. You left it on my desk.” And I handed it back to her.

  And now I’m just kind of standing here, looking at them, and really trying not to cry, because I feel so disappointed that my fantasy of Natalie wanting to be my friend again hasn’t come true. It’s like I’ve lost her all over again.

  “Well, at least you haven’t messed it up too much,” says Amelia nastily, studying the card.

  Anger shoots through me, despite feeling hopelessly near the verge of tears. “Well, you obviously left it on my desk because you wanted me to see it,” I say. “I think you need to work on your secrecy skills, Amelia. Not much of a secret gang at the moment, is it?”

  “All right, calm down,” says Amelia, clearly enjoying herself. “No need to get angry about it – unless – you didn’t think it was for you, did you?” She grins.

  I hate Amelia. “No, of course not,” I lie.

  “Just because it was on your desk,” adds Amelia.

  “Well, why was it on my desk?” I ask. “I mean—”

  “Aha! So you did think it was for you!” She laughs and nudges Natalie. “Aww, that is so sad,” she giggles. “As if we’d want you along, in your Primarni best.”

  “I think you wanted me to think it was for me,” I say. “I think you’re playing nasty tricks.”

  “Oh, look who’s talking!” says Amelia. “At least I can think of my own tricks. Instead of copying other people’s all the time.”

  “Whatever,” I say. “And for the record, I didn’t think it was for me. And even if I had, I wouldn’t be able to go anyway, because I actually already have plans with my gang that day, and we’re actually doing even more secret fun stuff than you, but unlike you, we’re actually keeping it secret!”

  And then I turn on my heel and storm out of the form room. I hear Amelia saying, “Yeah, right. Liar,” after me, and Natalie murmuring something that sounds like it might be, “Leave it.” But I don’t look back.

  I run straight to a toilet, lock myself in a cubicle and cry for about five minutes. I don’t think anybody knows. I can’t believe I thought Natalie wanted me in their gang. I can’t believe how disappointed I feel that she doesn’t. I thought I was tough now. I thought I had become cool and independent. What’s wrong with me?

  I come out of the cubicle and wash my face in the sink with cold water. I feel slightly better. I want to

  be cool and independent. I dry my face and look at myself in the mirror. You can tell I’ve been crying. I want to be cool and independent. I stare at my face until it starts to look more normal again. I am going to be cool and independent.

  The bell goes for registration. OK. I am going to be cool and independent. Right after I organise a spontaneous secret gang outing for the weekend.

  Honestly, it is much harder to organise a spontaneous secret gang outing at the weekend than you might imagine.

  I try Shantair and Cherry at chess club after school that day, but they’re both busy already. Cherry has a clarinet exam on Saturday, and Shantair has a drama rehearsal. They don’t change their minds even when I say we could do anything they want, cinema, bouncy castle, anything. They just tell me I don’t listen and that I’ve “missed the point”.

  I have no luck with Tanya the next day when I’m finally able to give her the hell cartoon I made for her at break time, after our maths lesson.

  “Oh, Toons, that is epic, epic!” She thumps me on the back, and I try not to sway.

  “So what about Saturday?” I ask her, as people file past us.

  “Can’t. I’m grounded, innit. Thanks to that stupid, set up detention.”

  “Oh, no,” I say. I’m about to say, “Can’t you sneak out? Or offer to do the hoovering or something?” when Tanya surprises me by saying, “Right, I’m off to the library.”

  “You’re off to the … library?” I say carefully, trying not to sound offensively surprised.

  “Yeah, ’course,” replies Tanya. “Got to photocopy this, haven’t I?” She waves my school-hell cartoon at me.

  “You’re … photocopying it?”

  “Yeah. For deffo. Think I’ll start with a hundred. What do you reckon? I’m going to put this all round school. That’ll show them. No one gives Tanya ‘the beef’ Harris detention and gets away with it.” And then she struts off down the corridor.

  Oh my! Thank goodness I didn’t put my name on it … Wow. I really hope that doesn’t get me into trouble … I mean, no one knows I did it apart from Tanya … hmmm.

  In art, I ask Emily, Megan and Fatimah. They are my last chance, and unbelievably none of them want to go on a spontaneous secret gang outing. Or are busy. Whatever.

  “It’s my weekend with my dad,” explains Emily, looking pained (and to be fair, like she actually would have loved to come). “Otherwise I won’t see him for another two weeks.”

  I suddenly feel bad. “Oh, no, that’s cool. Don’t worry about it at all,” I say. “We’ll do another one, when you’re free.”

  I mean, actually that’s what this should really be about, isn’t it? Planning stuff and hanging out with the people you like. (When they are free.) Not about getting revenge. What have I become? Amelia has really brought out my evil side.

  “Oh, yes! Let’s do another one!” squeals Megan, who is also visiting her dad.

  “I’d love that!” chimes in Fatimah, who has to go to see her cousins in Manchester.

  “It’s a deal,” I say, and we do our special handshake.

  Terry and Joshua watch us suspiciously, but don’t say anything.

  Saturday comes aro
und all too quickly, and I have no plans and no one to hang out with. Ryan has been in trouble twice this morning already, once for making too much noise, and once for getting his toys everywhere again.

  I join my mum in the kitchen where she is soaking some dried lentils and some dried chickpeas in different bowls. (Yes, we’ve reached the legumes stage of the economy drive.) I’m sure my mum will have to go shopping soon. There can’t be that much food left in the cupboards.

  I survey my mum and the lentils for a moment. “So, um, is the economy drive nearly over?” I ask her.

  “Oh, not you as well, Jessica,” snaps Mum. “This is hard enough without your constant complaints.”

  “I wasn’t complaining, I was just—”

  “I’M A SPACEMAN! I’M A SPACEMAN! I’M A SPACEMAN! I’M A SPACEMAN!” Ryan comes running into the kitchen, hitting the cupboards with a bat, and effectively interrupting me.

  “Ryan! Shut up!” I shriek, annoyed. Ryan runs back out again.

  “Don’t shout, please, Jessica,” says my mum wearily. Then, “Your brother is driving me mad.”

  “Tell me about it,” I mutter.

  “Why don’t you take him when you go out today?”

  “I’m not going out today.”

  “I thought you were going to the cinema with your friends?”

  “Oh, I was, but none of them were free in the end.”

  “Not even Natalie?” My mum looks away from what she is doing long enough to give me a piercing stare. “How is she, by the way? We haven’t seen her here for ages now.”

  “Yes, I suppose it has been a while.” I stare back.

  “Any particular reason for that?” asks my mum, still staring.

  I contemplate telling her about the whole thing, but really that’s a no go. She is liable to do one of two interfering things. She will either: (a) Take Natalie’s side and make me apologise; or (b) Take my side, ring Lisa and then make Natalie apologise. I can’t let either of those things happen.

  “No, no particular reason,” I reply evenly.

  My mum looks like she doesn’t believe me, but decides not to press it. She turns her attention back to the soaking pulses. “Do give her my love, won’t you?” she says pointedly.

  “Yeah, yeah,” I reply tiredly. Natalie doesn’t want your love, I think. She’s too busy being mean.

  “Well then, why don’t you take Ryan out and do something with him instead?” suggests my mum.

  Ha. Yes, I see, very clever. Get me to do your parenting job for you? No chance. “I don’t think so,” I say.

  “I’M A SPACEMAN! I’M A SPACEMAN! I’M A SPACEMAN! I’M A SPACEMAN!” Ryan comes running back in, hitting the cupboards again.

  “RYAN! OUT!” screams my mum.

  I jump. Ryan runs away. “Let me put it this way,” says my mum, turning back to me. “You are going out, and you are taking Ryan. And you had better not come back for at least three hours. I need him out from under my feet.”

  This is just so typical. I can’t believe I have to take Ryan out on my Saturday. And as if that’s not bad enough, I didn’t even get to choose where we went, Ryan did. How unfair is that?

  I suggested the park, as I figured Ryan could run off some of his excess energy, but Ryan insisted on seeing a new film at the cinema, and my mum even gave us money to shut him up. Money! During an economy drive! (And to think I wasn’t even allowed a badgemaker!)

  I suppose I should just be grateful that we managed to talk him out of taking all the things he wanted to bring along. Initially, he wanted his space helmet, his bat and his Winnie the Pooh bear. (The combination of which, frankly, made him look insane.) We convinced him to leave the bat. But he insisted Winnie the Pooh wanted to see the film as well. Finally my mum got the helmet off him and told him he’d have to tell Winnie the Pooh all about the film later. Nightmare.

  Now we’re at the mall, and I’m just terrified we’re going to bump into CAC and they’re going to see for sure that I lied about having a brilliant secret gang activity, and that I am instead hanging out with my six-year-old brother as if he is my only friend.

  “Hey, Jessica.” I whirl around and see Joshua standing next to the ice cream.

  “Oh, er, hi,” I say, relieved he isn’t anyone else. It’s weird seeing him out of his school uniform. For some reason he looks older in jeans and a T-shirt.

  “Who are you?” demands Ryan.

  “I’m Joshua,” says Joshua. “I like your badge,” he adds, clocking the ACE astronaut cartoon badge I made for Ryan. (Ryan insisted on wearing that out. It seemed small fry compared to the rest.)

  “I’m a spaceman,” says Ryan proudly. “My sister made it.”

  “She’s very talented,” says Joshua, smiling at me.

  “Only at drawing,” says Ryan, which at least does make Joshua and me laugh.

  I’m waiting for an opportunity to say, “OK then, see you later,” but somehow we end up chatting. Not only that, but Ryan starts quizzing Joshua about space stuff, and they sort of, well, hit it off. I’m secretly starting to wonder if I can leave them to it and have a quick look round the shops.

  But before I know it, Ryan is leading us over to the board with the film listings on it, we have discovered we have nearly an hour to wait until the next film and Ryan has invited Joshua to watch it with us.

  “Ryan, Joshua doesn’t want to watch a stupid kids’ film with us,” I say.

  “I don’t mind, actually,” says Joshua. “I’m not meeting my friends till later. Just wanted to get out of the house. Only if you don’t mind, though?” He seems to be asking me.

  “Of course she doesn’t mind,” says Ryan.

  “No, cool,” I say, “as long as you don’t think you’ll be bored.”

  We get the tickets and then ponder what to do next. Ryan spots a couple snogging a few metres away, and says, “Urgh, they’re kissing. Germs.” Joshua and I giggle. Spurred on by us laughing, Ryan suddenly shouts, “Oi! Get a room!”

  The couple jump and look round in surprise. “Ryan!” I say, pulling him away. “Where did you even hear that?”

  “Probably that bloody television,” says Ryan mildly, actually doing quite an accurate impression of my mum.

  I try desperately not to laugh. “Ryan, stop showing off,” I say firmly. I mean, it is funny, but six is probably a bit young to behave like such a hooligan.

  “Nah, I don’t think I’ll be bored,” says Joshua.

  I feel like I’d better get Ryan out of here though, in case the couple realise it was him, or he shouts at someone else. I think Joshua reads my mind.

  “Hey, I know this place that does slush puppies downstairs, since we have some time to kill,” he says.

  “Perfect,” I say, and we start moving.

  I briefly wonder how much time Joshua spends at the mall, as he seems to know where everything is. (He even gets mildly irked when we see a sign for a coffee shop that he swears doesn’t exist.) But mainly he is quite laid back.

  As we head downstairs, chatting and joking, I become aware that I’m actually, sort of, having fun. I relax a little bit. Joshua is quite funny. He has this cheeky, rude streak, which in turn brings out my cheeky, rude streak. More than usual.

  “There’s another one,” says Joshua, pointing at a sign that says Tall, Dark and Coffee. “I wonder where that cafe is?”

  “Your bum,” I joke, making Ryan giggle.

  “I’d be surprised if it was,” says Joshua innocently, playing along. Ryan giggles some more.

  Joshua insists on trying to find Tall, Dark and Coffee. We follow all the signs for it and go round in a circle twice. Ryan starts to get irritable. “I thought we were getting slushies?” he whines.

  Joshua wisely starts to bail. “OK, I give up,” he says. “We’ll go get slushies.”

  “Well, we’ll just have to assume it was your bum, then,” I say, nodding sagely. They both laugh.

  The Slush Pile is quite busy, but we manage to get a table and spend some enjoya
ble time hanging out. Joshua and I keep jokily being rude to each other. I’m kind of winning, so to get me back Joshua burps loudly and then goes, “Jessica!” as if it had been me. The nerve. But it was funny. Ryan nearly fell off his chair he was laughing so much.

  Even the film that we watch isn’t that bad for a kids’ film. I don’t know if I should admit this, but it actually made me laugh out loud twice. (Although I totally saw the ending coming a mile off.)

  As we troop back out, with Ryan repeating the word “awesome” indiscriminately to describe every bit of the film, I realise I’ve actually had a really good day.

  Joshua spies his friends on our way out of the cinema, and waves at a group of about ten lads. I recognise them from school. I think half of them are in the basketball team (ooh, including Joe and Daniel) but they’re dressed just like Joshua, in jeans. They wave back and shout, “Oi oi!” at him.

  My good mood nearly vanishes, and I instantly feel nervous. I’m not entirely sure why. I mean, it’s not like I’m scared of boys. It’s not even that I dislike them or anything. I just don’t hang around them that much. And it has tended to be boys more than girls that have shouted stuff at me in the past (like “Oooh chess club”). And it’s usually massive groups of boys that shout rather than just one or two. Oh God, I hope they don’t shout at me in front of Joshua and Ryan. That would be sooo embarrassing.

  Joshua greets them with what look to me like even better secret handshakes than the one that ACE invented. They even pat each other on the back and kind of half hug. I’m just thinking that maybe I can copy this and slightly revamp ACE’s handshake, when one of them says, “And who’s this then?” I immediately tense up.