Savaged Dreams: Savaged Illusions Trilogy Book 1

by Jennifer Lyon

  “Elevator music doesn’t jive with our sound,” Lynx said. “How would I know you could actually play something good?”

  Gray raised his eyebrows. “Everything I play is good.”

  Lynx sighed. “Truth, damn it. Guy’s a freaking genius on the keys. Any keys. He could probably play my car keys. Only not while they’re in my pocket, cause…”

  “Right,” Keith said, fighting to keep a straight face.

  Liza had to cover her mouth, too many emotions twirling around. This was the Gray she saw in practice—real, confident in his ability and a sneaky sense of humor—like the imitation of Lynx. That was perfect. But she hadn’t missed the underlying dynamics. Justice had nudged Gray when the interview sagged, and Gray had revealed something personal to help take the focus off Simon and his wife’s suicide. Then the others in the band had immediately closed ranks around Gray to lighten the tone to keep the host from digging in on Gray’s sister. Her heart swelled watching them. They screamed and fought amongst themselves then protected one another from any outsiders. These guys really were a family.

  “Our publicist, Liza, has had a lot of great ideas and is helping us connect with more fans,” Justice said.

  Crap, she’d lost track of the questions again. Liza focused as Justice went on.

  “In fact, she has a special letter she’d like to share.”

  The host turned to her. “Hi, Liza, I’m Keith from Indie Rock Broadcast, come join us with the letter.”

  Wait, what? No. Her pulse rocketed, and her mouth dried. All of a sudden the camera turned to her. Buzzing roared in her ears. Memories danced like shadows, people reaching out to her, shouting questions and demands. Dread spread thick and cloying in her chest.

  Realizing they were all staring at her, she took a breath and walked over. All she had to do was hand Justice the phone.

  Lynx popped up from his chair. “Sit here.”

  With no choice, she sat and tried to smile. “Hi, Keith.” Now what?

  “So you read all the fan mail?”

  What? Oh…fan mail. No one was asking her ugly questions, like how she felt when she woke up and learned she’d been raped, her dad murdered and mom arrested. This was a cakewalk. “Yes. I compile it from all the sources, website, social media and email, then bundle it for them.” Relaxing a bit, she added, “It’s fun to see how much the fans love the guys and their music.”

  “What about you, Liza? Do you have a favorite savage?”

  “Pick me,” Lynx said.

  River leaned around Justice. “Nah it’s me, right, Liza?”

  Laughing, she shook her head. “I don’t get to play favorites.” She worked to keep from looking at Justice. The way he straddled the chair next to her, pressing his warm thigh against hers, was distracting. Okay, time to lead into the letter and get herself out of the interview. “But I can tell you this. Sometimes fans feel a special connection to one band member. In fact, I recently read a letter that really touched my heart.” She handed Lynx her coffee and held up her cell phone. “This email is from a young woman who suffered a car accident and…” She turned to look at River. “Actually, I’d like you to read it. I’ve cleared it with her mother.”

  Surprise registered in River’s expression. “First I heard of this.”

  “I know. Because I wanted to show everyone exactly how you guys react to your fans.” Although her plan had been for Justice to show him on camera, not her. She offered him her phone.

  River took it, his eyes quickly scanning the screen. A crease dug in between his dark eyebrows. He began reading:

  “Dear Savaged Illusions,

  “I love your music so much. My name is Cassie Simmons, and I’m nineteen years old. I’m in my last year of high school. I missed a year after I was in a car accident. The lower half of my right leg was amputated. I’m doing much better now, but sometimes it’s just hard. I’m not the same as the kids my age. All my friends graduated and went to college while I’m learning to walk again on a prosthetic leg.

  “I know I could have died. I know I’m lucky. It’s just sometimes I’m mad. I didn’t go to my senior prom, didn’t do all the senior stuff. I’m taking the year over, but it’s not the same. All my friends moved on without me.

  “Your songs capture all that. Especially River on his bass guitar. When he plays, it feels real, like he gets me, like he would understand. I’m trying to learn the bass guitar now. I love it, even if I’m not very good yet. When I’m playing, I feel like all the other stuff doesn’t matter so much.

  “Anyway, I just wanted to thank you all for your incredible music. One day when I’m a little better on my leg in crowds and can afford it, I hope to see you guys live in concert.

  “Your biggest fan, Cassie.”

  River looked up, his face heavy, eyes somber. “Do you have her number?”

  Damn. She hadn’t had to lead him at all. “Yes, it’s in my contacts. I have two tickets to the final show for her and her mom. Her mom knows.”

  River smiled. “You knew I’d want to call her.”

  “Yes.” Okay, not when she’d first showed Justice, but after a few practices and events, where she’d gotten to know the guys better, she could have predicted River’s reaction. They really did care.

  Keith broke in, “How did you know that, Liza?”

  She tried to explain it, warming to her subject. “Because the fans are real people to the guys. They get it, they understand their music gives voice to the emotions that we sometimes can’t express ourselves. They get that because each of them has lived those very same emotions. They make mistakes too, ones that sometimes cost them. They understand that no one gets through life unscathed. That sometimes it’s other forces that lay you out, and other times we do it to ourselves. But either way, they get it. It’s what makes their music so authentic.”

  Keith turned to Justice. “Is that how you view it?”

  For one single heartbeat, Justice said nothing as he stared at her, his eyes so intense she could hear a sizzle in the air. Everything in her wanted to lean into him.

  Justice broke eye contact and focused his attention on Keith. “That’s exactly who we are. And she’s right. Anyone with access to Google or YouTube can find out about my past, my dumbass mistakes that landed me in juvie. We’re real, and all we want to do is play music. Not only for ourselves, but for the fans.

  “Fans like Cassie,” River added. “She makes all the struggle worth it.”

  “In closing, River, is there anything else you’d like to say to Cassie on video before you make the call to her?”

  River faced the camera. “Cassie, it would be my pleasure to meet you. I’m hoping you’ll be willing to jam with us all a little bit. And…” He paused as he braced his elbows on his thighs. “I’m hoping your first dance on that shiny new leg of yours will be with me.”

  Keith ended the interview, and Liza sighed in relief that it’d gone so well. River already had the phone to his ear. He got up and headed to the side of the stage, Liza assumed to hear over all the chatter.

  So yeah, it had come off even better than she’d hoped. But she’d never planned to be a part of the interview.

  What if someone saw it and recognized her? Or told her aunt or grandmother? She still hadn’t informed them she was working with a rock band on a reality TV show and competing for an internship at Tangent—a record label.

  Justice was drawing her deeper and deeper into his world.

  Could she handle it, or was she taking too many risks?

  Chapter 10

  Justice knocked on the door of the second-floor apartment. The building was old with dirty gray walls and cracked floors. This was where Liza lived?

  Once the door opened, he forgot about his reservations. She’d smoothed her hair back into a low, sleek ponytail and wore a loose deep-blue shirt and slim jeans with heels.

  “Nice,” he told her.

  “Come on in, and I’ll grab my stuff.”

  He stepped in, closed the d
oor and pulled her against him. Her softness filled his arms, and her sultry peach scent teased, creating an instant ache to have more of her.

  All of her.

  He released five days of longing into a single kiss.

  She opened beneath him as if starved for him. Justice tasted toothpaste and warm heat. Her fingers dug into his arms, and she pressed her breasts to his chest.

  Lust fired hard and raw, pulsing in his cock. He had to stop, now, before he forgot that he’d agreed to meet her friends for dinner. Breaking the kiss, he dragged in air. Brushing his thumb over her lip, he said, “So your project, how’d it go? I didn’t get time to ask you today.”

  A real smile lit up her face. “Pretty sure we’ll get an A.”

  It meant so much to her. “Then we’ll celebrate your success.”

  Her happiness dimmed, and she ducked beneath his arms to stand a couple feet away. “Before we go, I need to know something.”

  She looked serious, making his neck tense. Had he pissed her off about something? “What?”

  “Why didn’t you, or Simon, tell me he was in Jagged Sin and quit to join your band?”

  “I should have,” he admitted. He’d seen the shock on her face when Simon said he’d left Ace’s band for Savaged Illusions. “When I originally told you, I thought it’d be smarter to lead with Ace’s threats and get you fully on our side. My original plan was to share with you about Simon’s wife, then wait for you to ask what caused the feud.”

  Beth winced. “I never asked, and I absolutely should have.”

  Her swift shift to guilt spurned him to say, “Yes, but I should have told you too. By the time we went to the club, I realized you would do your job even if you didn’t like the way Simon left their band. If I’d been smart, I’d have told you that night before you went home, but I got distracted by my attraction to you.” That was the flat truth.

  She fidgeted with her watch. “I’m getting too reckless. Letting myself be sidetracked by you and not asking the right questions like what Simon and Ace’s feud was about.”

  He didn’t get why she was making such big a deal out of it. “That’s a mistake, not reckless.”

  “I joined the interview on camera today, exposing myself to the public. And worse, my aunt could have seen it. I’ve been hiding this gig from her, then I went on camera as your publicist.”

  He could feel her worry building and wanted to kick his own ass. “Shit, I’m sorry. I’m the one that dragged you into it.” He was showing her off and hadn’t thought about her reasons for wanting to stay out of the limelight. “But why would your aunt see that? Does she follow the rock scene?”

  “No.” She kept twisting the watch.

  Justice hated that he’d caused her this distress. Catching her hand, he tugged her up against him. “I don’t think your aunt will see that. I.R.B. has a big following, but it’s not mainstream.”

  She released a breath. “True. I guess I’m overreacting.”

  He smiled, happy to see her relaxing. “You’ve worked hard all week on band shit and your school project. That’s dedicated, not reckless. You deserve to go out and have some fun.” He hadn’t met her roommate yet and added, “Is Emily going with us or her boyfriend?”

  “No, she met Ben at Wylie’s a bit early to hold a table for us. It gets crowded on a Friday night.” She shrugged. “Em spends most of her time at his condo anyway.”

  He glanced around the tiny apartment. Plants, brightly colored pillows and pictures enhanced the shabby space, but it wasn’t a great place. “You stay here alone?” Did she get scared? It bothered him. Liza deserved to feel safe.

  “I’m fine here, but when I return for the fall quarter, I’ll have to figure something else out. Rent a room somewhere.”

  “You’re not going to live with Emily?” He’d assumed they had something planned for after the summer.

  “Em’s moving in with Ben. That’s another reason this internship will be good if I get it. We’ve already given notice on the apartment and have to be out in a couple weeks. If I get the internship in L.A. this summer, then I won’t have to worry until I come back to San Diego to finish my last quarter. I’ll rent a room or something. I’m looking into it. Let me grab my purse.” She darted down a hallway.

  Curiosity about her family had him prowling until he found some framed pictures on a low shelf beneath the wall-mounted TV. He picked up one of a younger Beth with two other kids on donkeys.

  When Beth returned to the living room, he asked, “Who are you with here?”

  Crossing to him, she eyed the picture. “My cousins when we went to the Grand Canyon years ago. Kristen is twelve now. She’s super smart and already says she wants to be a doctor. And Rafe.” She huffed but couldn’t hide her grin. “He’s nine and loves extreme sports. He’s already broken an arm and had stitches in his chin from skateboarding.”

  She picked up another family photo. “This is my grandmother Wanda sitting in the chair with Rafe and Kristen next to her. Here’s my aunt Mari—her full name is Marissa—and my uncle Spence.” She shifted her finger to the girl by Mari with the pretty green eyes behind her studious glasses, wearing a cap and gown.

  “That’s you.” Except her smile was a little dimmer than he was used to seeing. “Looks like your high school graduation?”

  “Yep.”

  “What about your mom?” He scanned the photos. “Do you have any of her? Of the two of you?”

  She carefully set the picture down. “I have an album with early pictures and a few from my visits to her in prison. I keep it in a drawer in my bedroom.”

  Hidden. Which made sense in a way. A lot of people would recognize Amber Ranger. And yet… He eyed the graduation and vacation ones again. They told a story of a happy family, but Justice had seen Liza’s scars on her wrist.

  Silenced and blamed.

  A deep protectiveness flared in his chest. This was why she didn’t want to be exposed as Elizabeth Ranger, the girl who ruined the rock star.

  That she trusted him at all was a freaking miracle.

  She turned to look at him. “Ready?”

  He’d better be, because this girl was special. “Yep, let’s roll.”

  Twenty minutes later, they headed into Wylie’s Cantina. The walls were done in a rich burnt umber and the air laden with the scent of Mexican food that made his stomach growl. The left side of the entrance boasted a crowd with college-aged to young professionals hovering around a bar. The polished wood tables spread over the right side of the restaurant appeared as crowded as the bar. Good thing Liza’s roommate got here early.

  He caught a few people staring and whispering. Even heard a murmured, “Justice Cade from Savage Illusions.” A surge of adrenaline rushed his system. He freaking loved it. Would it ever get old?

  He doubted it.

  Liza tugged his hand. “Em texted they’re on the patio.”

  Right, they weren’t here for him to bask in recognition, but on a date. Tonight was about them. “You come here a lot?” She seemed to know it well.

  She glanced back at him. “I work here on school vacations and occasionally when other employees are sick. Right now, I’m off the schedule entirely so I can focus on winning the internship.”

  She worked on top of everything else? But he supposed that made sense. Beth had mentioned she was at school on a scholarship, and he knew money was tight.

  Out on the patio, lights were strung overhead, a fire pit flickered in the middle and tables were placed around it.

  “Liza.” A girl popped up from the table on the opposite side of the fire pit. A tad shorter than Liza, she had straight blond hair, blue eyes in an oval face and a slender build.

  The man with her rose slowly. Tall, brown hair and dark craters beneath eyes that screamed the need for sleep. The man smiled at Liza, then sobered a bit when his gaze landed on Justice. Assessing.

  After the introductions, they sat, and he focused on Emily. “Do you work here with Liza too?”

&nb
sp; “I used to,” Emily answered. “I sucked as a waitress though. Liza cleaned up on tips. Half the time I got stiffed.”

  Liza laughed. “True.”

  Emily rolled her eyes. “Now I work part-time for the school clinic. Liza snags me free food, and in exchange, I share with her the gossip on who’s knocked up.”

  Liza choked on her water. “Lies. You never tell me anything interesting or scandalous from work. And I’d like to point out, I bring the food home for me. I go take a shower, come out and find you eating it.”

  “Wylie’s food is excellent. How can I smell it and not eat it?”

  Despite the teasing, Justice could easily see the affection between the two friends. He jumped into the conversation. “So what do you recommend here?” Justice asked.

  “I love the spicy tequila ribs,” Liza said.

  “She really does,” Em agreed. “The fish or shrimp tacos are good too.”

  “Don’t listen to them, Justice. Go for the tamales.” Ben picked up a tortilla chip and loaded it with guacamole. “You won’t be sorry.”

  He shrugged. “Tamales sounds good to me.” He set his menu down to focus on the man sitting across from him. “So Liza says you’re a doctor?”

  “Yes. I’m planning to specialize in anesthesiology. I’ve just started my residency and dream of sleep like other men dream of sex.”

  Justice choked on his water. Ben wore a button-down shirt, for Christ’s sake. He hadn’t been expecting that. But he liked the man a hell of a lot more now.

  “Because you already get the sex other men dream of,” Emily said.

  Liza groaned. “You two couldn’t behave for five minutes?”

  “Fine, I’ll tell you about my exciting day as a doctor,” Ben announced. “I performed a disimpaction today on a severely distressed woman.”

  Liza focused on him. “What’s that?”

  His brown eyes glinted, and his mouth twisted. “An enema.”

  Justice slapped down his beer, laughing his ass off. “Bet you felt like a real doctor then.”