Masters of My Desire

by Jenna Jacobs

  “Remember when we discussed anonymity, kitten?” Dylan asked.

  I nodded, wondering what that had to do with the owner of Genesis.

  “Mika is a phantom,” Nick interjected with a chuckle. “He guards his anonymity at all costs, little one. No one but a chosen few know his true identity. He wishes to keep it that way. So we’re trusting that you’ll honor his wishes.”

  “Oh, but of course. I understand now, Sirs. I won’t say a word to anyone. I promise.”

  “Thank you, sweet girl.” Mika nodded with a wink. “It’ll be our little secret.”

  “You’re welcome, Sir.” I nodded and hoped that we were back home, I would get the answers to the zillion questions fluttering through my brain.

  As Mika led us to the dining room, I was once again overwhelmed by the opulence of such ordinary people. The mansion was gorgeous and screamed Dominance with its rich masculine décor. I kept expecting a harem of submissives to descend the wide staircase and fall at his feet. But none appeared. Did he live in this massive kingdom alone? I wondered.

  A buffet table laden with food awaited us in the formal room. Expecting servants or maids to appear, I was stymied to find it was just us four. I wondered if I’d ever grow accustomed to such grandiose surroundings, but I tried to relax and enjoy breakfast.

  It didn’t take long before I found myself laughing at the playful conversation of the three Doms. Mika was as down to earth as my Masters, and that alone eased my anxious mien.

  At least until the discussion broached my freak-out in the dungeon the previous night.

  “Have you ever tried to analyze why nudity is a hard limit for you, Savannah?” Mika asked. Warmth and understanding reflected in his face and words.

  “No, Sir. I haven’t. There’s no reason for it as far as I know. I’ve never been de-pants or streaked across the high school football field while people pointed and laughed.”

  All three men chuckled and Mika shook his head. “Sometimes there are no reasons for triggers. They just are. Don’t let it bother you, girl. Everyone has them and it’s nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about.”

  It was if Mika reached inside my skin and actually felt my discomfort.

  “That’s what we’ve tried to tell her.” Nick nodded. “It’s something we plan to work through, though. Little by little.” As he looked at me, I knew he could see the fear pumping through me. “But we’ll be taking baby steps from now on, girl. Nothing but baby steps.”

  “It’s not going to be anytime soon is it, Sir?” My faced wrinkled in a pained expression.

  My plea set off another round of laughter. “Rest assured little one, we learned from the experience as well, and plan to make good use of our private room for a long time. But there will come a day when we cuff you to the cross in the main dungeon and use you hard. Make no mistake about it, girl.”

  Nick’s decisive promise zapped me with a bolt of lust and anxiety that raced all the way to my toes.

  “I’d be happy to observe if you’d like your Masters to take you to the dungeon down the hall, sweet one.” Mika offered with a predatory gleam in his eyes.

  “Your what, Sir?” I choked.

  “My dungeon. It’s here in the house. Right down the hall,” he chortled.

  Was he serious? My face grew hot as embarrassment burned down my neck and over my chest. Would Dylan and Nick accept his offer? And why did the thought of Mika watching me feel far more intimate than a whole club of strangers? The jovial breakfast had taken a wicked turn. Fear succeeded in producing its usual knee-jerk reaction within me, but remembering the words of my Masters from the night before, I stopped to dig deeper into my soul. If they wanted to display me in Mika’s dungeon, I knew they would do it with my insecurities in mind. They would shroud me as they’d planned to the night before and keep me safely ensconced in their Dominant care.

  “Savannah?” Nick’s voice broke through my churning thoughts.

  “Yes, Sir?”

  “Come, sit on my lap, little one,” he instructed as he pushed back from the table and patted his thigh.

  I eased onto him. No sooner had I situated myself before his arms wrapped around me in a fierce hug. “You just did it, didn’t you? You stopped your fears from consuming you.”

  I smiled at the wonderment in his voice and the pride reflected in his eyes. After I issued a timid nod, Nick planted a euphoric kiss on my lips.

  “Fucking phenomenal, kitten,” Dylan praised on a grateful sigh, before rising from his chair and claiming my mouth when Nick was done.

  “Stunning breakthrough, sweet girl,” Mika praised with a wide, shimmering smile.

  We adjourned to Mika’s study, the decor dripping with even more masculinity. If there were ever a contest to measure testosterone by home design, Mika would win hands down. After hours of conversation and yet more ribbing between Doms, we said our good-byes and made our way toward the monstrous wooden deck.

  “Oh, hey, you and Drake and Trevor are coming for Thanksgiving again this year, right?” Nick asked, turning toward Mika.

  “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

  “Will Emerald be there?” I asked with a hopeful raise of my brows.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  “NO,” Mika barked with a fierce scowl.

  “Umm, sorry. I was just curious, Sir,” I replied in meek confusion.

  Mika exhaled with a powerful huff. “I’m sorry, girl. Emerald doesn’t know who I am, and she never will.” He frowned.

  “I’ll keep your secret, Sir.” I nodded, unsure of his drastic change of demeanor. One more curious thing to ask about when we got home.

  “Come along, pet. We need to spend the afternoon working that big breakfast off... in bed,” Nick rumbled as his mouth tugged in a mischievous grin.

  A shiver rippled through me, not from the cold, but from desire. As we walked along the sand, lurid images filled my mind, and the slow pace we kept was frustrating.

  “Race you!” I threw out the challenge and started running toward the house.

  “Minx!” Dylan roared on a laugh.

  Glancing over my shoulder, I saw they were chasing me. Dylan’s sexy dimple and Nick’s dark flowing hair made it hard for me to draw air into my lungs. Their incredible beauty was stunning and I no longer wanted to run from them, but to them. I stopped and turned as they approached at breakneck speed. Stretching out my arms, I surrendered and burned to feel them surround me. I did not expect them to pass me, laughing like a couple of loons. I scoffed when I realized they weren’t racing me; they were competing against each other.

  “Hey! A little hug would be nice,” I yelled in a dejected voice then shook my head and sprinted after them.

  Nick was the first to slap a palm on the banister of the deck. As I came up behind them, I started to laugh when Dylan shoved him away and declared himself the victor. Nick crouched and charged a shoulder into Dylan’s ribs. They both sailed into the air and landed hard on the sand.

  “Now who’s the winner, fucker? Huh?” Nick taunted, gripping the railing and wearing a broad triumphant grin.

  “Yeah, yeah. Kiss my ass,” Dylan laughed as he stood and brushed the sand from his clothes.

  My big bad Doms were acting like a couple of six year olds, and all I could do was laugh. For the first time in a very long time, my soul was filled with absolute happiness.

  #

  Rachel had prepared a Thanksgiving feast of biblical proportions, and as I mashed the potatoes, I felt as nervous as a cat on a hot tin roof. Drake, the powerfully intimidating Dom, was coming for dinner. He had been more than amiable in the few times we’d exchanged words at Genesis. But just the thought of him seated at the same dinner table had my nerves singing the jitters. A soft smile curled on my lips as I remembered Emerald regarding him as a big teddy bear. It worked to calm my anxiety. Well, a little.

  As the mixer whirred, I thought of last Thanksgiving in my small apartment, preparing the usual holiday dinner with Mellie. I missed
her. It was our first Thanksgiving apart. She promised to try and visit over Christmas, but Enrique was still her ”flavor of the month” and they’d talked about spending it with his family in South America.

  The sound of the doorbell drew me from my reverie. As our Thanksgiving guests began to arrive, Rachel shooed me out of the kitchen, sending me off to play hostess.

  I remained quiet through most of dinner. Thankfully, with Trevor’s gregarious personality and never-ending energy, my reserved mien went unnoticed. It was easy to see why he and Emerald were close friends; they had the same glass-half-full disposition. I felt honored that they were fast becoming dear friends of mine, as well. They had both held my hand when I’d needed them the most.

  Sitting at the table my mind wandered back to the second submissive session I’d attended. The only subs that showed up were Emerald, Trevor and me. Leagh had stopped by for a few minutes, but left after she’d whined and pleaded for Master George to let her go shopping.

  “Don’t be like Leagh,” Trevor warned after she and George had left.

  “Trevor!” Emerald gasped.

  “I didn’t mean it like that,” he said with a dramatic wave of his hand. “I just meant there aren’t many Doms who would put up with her antics. I know, I know; MG loves her to death. But if I pulled half the crap she does, Daddy would blister my ass so hard, I wouldn’t be able to sit for a month.”

  Emerald shook her head then leaned in with a clandestine look around the room. “George isn’t a bad Master. He’s just very lenient. Their exchange is perfect for them. But trust me, don’t behave like she does around your Masters, Savannah. You’d be in a world of trouble.”

  I nodded in understanding, assuring them both I already knew where my Masters’ line for bad behavior had been drawn. With the three of us huddled around the small table, I gathered my nerve and began to solicit their help in finding a way to wipe away my fear of public nudity. After several long minutes, Emerald looked up, searching the room for someone. She stood, announcing that she’d be right back then hurried toward the bar. After a brief conversation with my Masters, she made her way down the corridor toward the private rooms.

  A few minutes later, she returned, with Sir Tony, the Dungeon Monitor who’d helped me through my meltdown. He took a seat and joined our little sub group, but I didn’t know why.

  “Hello again, Savannah.” Tony smiled. “Emerald has asked me to sit in for a bit. I’m not sure if I’m here in a Dominant capacity or a professional one.”

  “Oh, sorry, Sir. Umm, professional if you don’t mind,” Emerald replied with a shaky smile, then reached beneath the table and took my hand. “Sir Tony is a psychologist. I thought that if you’re willing to tell him the things you’ve told Trevor and me, he might be able to help you.”

  My mouth suddenly went dry as I flashed an anxious glance to my Masters, still seated at the bar. Nick smiled, giving me a barely perceptible nod of permission. I exhaled then began to spill my guts.

  “After your parents died, did you begin actively looking for men to date?” Tony asked in a discreet, low tone.

  “No, Sir. I…”

  “If you’d rather to talk to Sir alone, sister, we can leave,” Trevor volunteered, no doubt sensing the sky-high tension rolling off me.

  “No, please stay. I don’t have anything to hide,” I reassured then clutched his hand beneath the table, Anchored to them both, I gained strength from my newfound friends.

  “I’ve not had boyfriends, Sir. My Masters…they’re my first…boyfriends…lovers? I don’t know what you’d call them, but they’re my first relationship.” I struggled for an appropriate label.

  Tony leaned back and stared at me for a long time. He wore an intent expression, as if pondering one of the great mysteries of the world. And maybe it was. Maybe I was so fucked up, even the professionals couldn’t fix me. Finally, a smile tugged the corner of his mouth before he leaned in again and steepled his fingers. “Could you take off your clothes in front of Emerald?”

  His question caught me off guard. I blinked then cast a considering glance at Emerald. “Yes Sir. I wouldn’t have a problem with that.”

  “How about Trevor?” he asked again, still wearing that tiny smile.

  “Yes, I could do that.”

  “But he’s a man.” Tony challenged.

  “He’s a submissive.”

  “And I’m gay,” Trevor tossed out on a giggle.

  “And he’s gay.” I grinned.

  “What about Drake?”

  “No, Sir. He scares the crackers out of me.” I shook my head.

  Tony chuckled. “What about me?” His brows arched as his pearly white teeth sank into his bottom lip, nibbling and watching my reaction with great interest.

  “I can’t do that, Sir.”

  “No, you can’t. Your Masters would have my balls, but more importantly, you’d freak the fuck out again. Wouldn’t you?”

  I nodded, confused as to why I didn’t feel threatened around Emerald and Trevor but the thought of stripping in front of Tony sent a coil of panic through me. “But why would I freak out with you, Sir? That’s the part I’m trying so hard to work through and understand.”

  “Think about it, girl. You don’t trust me and you shouldn’t, because you don’t know me. When your parents died you, pulled the proverbial shutters in and closed down. By your own admission, you’ve not allowed yourself to love many people, for fear they’ll die and break your heart again. But when you tied up your heart and your ability to share love, you also locked up vulnerability, as well. Subconsciously, I think you knew that being vulnerable had the potential to devastate you as much as loving someone and having them ripped from your life.”

  “Little one?” Nick placed his hand atop mine, drawing me back from my reminiscences.

  “Yes, Master?” I blinked, fearing he’d asked a question I’d need him to repeat.

  “Would you go in the kitchen and tell Rachel we’re ready for coffee in the study, please?”

  “Of course, Sir.” I nodded then stood and excused myself from the table.

  As we sat by a roaring fire in the study commiserating about our full bellies, I sipped my coffee and listened to the flow of conversation.

  I’d realized that my manufactured fear of Daddy Drake had been for nothing. He and Trevor were two of the funniest and friendliest people I’d had the pleasure of spending time with. Snuggled between Dylan and Nick, I listened as the group of Dominants chattered like a bunch of gaggling geese.

  Mika had a wicked sense of humor. He was far less reserved then the first time I’d met him. Dylan and Nick had answered most of my questions about the club owner, but not all. Mika’s relaxed mien in the company of Drake and Trevor made perfect sense; they’d been friends for years, longer than Genesis had been in business, in fact. The bond the three men shared was easy to see. I knew they’d shared many experiences, good and bad. Several years ago, Mika had lost his slave to brain cancer. Having loved and lost, he’d made a vow to never claim another submissive. If anyone understood the need to protect your heart at all costs, it was me.

  But the one question that remained unanswered was Mika’s vehement reaction when I’d mentioned Emerald, a few days before. His aversion to my new friend seemed over the top. I supposed it was none of my business, but there was something peculiar about the whole thing.

  #

  The days passed in a blur and the weather turned bitter. I spent every Saturday morning learning volumes about submission. My Masters were pleased with my growth and seemed eager to answer my questions evoked by the classes. Before I’d realized it happening, my trust in them had soared to new and reassuring levels, and I felt more secure than ever before.

  Christmas morning, I woke to an empty bed and the sound of the doorbell’s incessant ring. Vaulting from beneath the covers, I rushed to the bathroom, quickly donned my clothes, and bounded down the stairs.

  When I reached the foyer, I plopped down on the steps, consume
d by a fit of laughter. Standing in the entryway was Drake, dressed in a red velvet Santa suit. Trevor danced around my Masters, giddy with excitement and wearing a green elf costume.

  Suddenly Drake turned and pinned me with a big, bad, Santa-Dom glare.

  “And just what do you think you’re laughing at, pet?” Drake growled. “You know Santa has a list for insolent subs. If your name is on it, girl, then Santa knows how naughty you’ve been and you’re likely to get something you don’t like.”

  “Oh, I’m sure I’m on that list Santa, because I’ve been a wicked, naughty girl…numerous times.” I laughed so hard, tears leaked from my eyes.

  “That’s it!” Drake barked as he slung the big red bag off his shoulder then set it on the marble floor. “There will be no bunny floggers for you.”

  “I can’t help it, Sir,” I choked through my howls of laughter. “I’ve never seen a Dominant Santa before. It’s…it’s…hilarious.” Laughing even harder, Drake narrowed his eyes and began to dig through the large red bag. Trevor was standing behind him with a hand pressed to his mouth, smothering his grin. Dylan and Nick watched with expressions of disbelief while merriment danced in their eyes.

  “Hilarious, am I? You may not think so when you’re cuffed and helpless beneath this wicked whip.” Drake pulled a plaited red and black single tail from his Santa bag.

  “Uh-oh, sister, you’re in trouble now,” Trevor warned with a child-like giggle.

  “Oh, Santa,” I begged as I scurried off the step. “Please don’t give my Masters a whip. My lily white ass will never survive.”

  “We already have three, kitten,” Dylan announced with a devilish gleam in his eyes.

  “But not for me, right, Masters?” I asked with a nervous grin.

  “Not today, little one, but soon. We’ll work you up to it in no time. I’m sure.” Nick replied with a sudden serious conviction.

  I didn’t have time to lament before the bell rang again. Trevor pulled back the door as Mika brushed the snow from his wool coat before stepping inside. His eyes grew wide, blinking at the outrageous outfits Drake and Trevor wore.