Jamie beamed over at her for a moment as she said, "Best team I've ever been on."
Two weeks later they emerged from the rather stately entrance to the Superior Court of San Francisco. The entire day had been consumed by the 'hurry up and wait' atmosphere of the trial and for reasons they couldn't understand the prosecutor stuck the policewomen in between them to testify, forcing Ryan to hang around for an additional 4 hours to wait for Jamie.
"Well, at least we're done with it," Ryan observed as she filled her lungs with the cool, moist fresh air.
"I don't know what you're planning on doing for a living but you should consider becoming an expert witness in whatever it," Jamie told her with admiration. "You were just phenomenal."
"Thanks," Ryan said, blushing a little. "I wrote down a very detailed description of what happened that day right after we got home. It helped me sort things out a little. I've reviewed it a couple of times when I was having problems sleeping...in a odd way it calmed me down...so the details were pretty well set in my mind."
"I sounded like the village idiot compared to you," Jamie smirked. "The jury must have thought I had brain damage."
"I think they understood that it's a little hard to remember details when you're unconscious," Ryan teased. "I think you did great."
"I guess we just have to hope we convinced them," she said soberly. "I want him to be put away for a very long time."
"Well, we should know within a couple of days. The prosecutor thinks they'll have a verdict by tomorrow or the next day. Do you want to know what the outcome is?"
Jamie thought for a moment as she leaned against the large base of a statue near the front steps. "Surprisingly, I don't. I don't think they can put him away long enough to suit me, so I think I'd rather assume the best. How about you?"
"I'm interested, but only so I don't have to worry about him for a while. I see him in my dreams enough without being worried about seeing him on the street," she said as a shudder raced up her spine.
"I'm so sorry that you're still bothered by it," she said softly as she leaned in to wrap Ryan in a gentle hug. "I hardly think about it anymore, thanks to you."
"I'd trade a lifetime of nightmares for your safety," Ryan said softly, right into her ear.
Jamie had been seeing her therapist for 3 weeks when she finally had the nerve to bring up her sexuality. Since cost was not an issue they had decided that twice a week sessions were a good idea, at least until Jamie felt some relief. After only 4 sessions she actually felt significantly better. But she had spent nearly all of those sessions talking about Jack and her distress over the breakup. Now it was time to open up fully.
After 7 sessions she finally broached the subject. "There's something that's bothering me, Anna," she said hesitantly.
"Tell me, Jamie," she replied neutrally.
"I think that I might be gay," she replied as she stared at the pattern on the rug.
"What makes you think so?" Anna asked.
"I'm incredibly attracted to my closest friend, Ryan," she revealed. "I haven't told you the whole story about why Jack and I broke up," she admitted shyly.
After going through the entire story Anna asked, "Have you ever acted on any of your feelings for Ryan?"
"Sort of. On my birthday I gave her a kiss on the lips," she replied.
"How did she react?"
"We both acted like everything was normal. But right after that she said she thought we should leave because we were both a little drunk." After a moment she added, "Maybe it made her uncomfortable."
"Did she act any differently towards you after the incident?"
"No, not really. She's pretty much the same."
"So it must not have bothered her too much," she observed. "Do you want to pursue her, Jamie?" she asked.
"I really think I do, Anna. But I just feel so overwhelmed by everything that's happened. I'm afraid of what I'll do if she isn't interested."
"Is there any reason that you feel compelled to do something right now? Or could you wait a while until you feel more grounded?" she queried.
"I guess I'm not in a rush," she said as though this were the first time she had considered this. "She just broke up with someone and I don't think she wants to get into another relationship right away. You know, it makes me feel better to think that I don't have to hurry."
"You might feel better if you resolved some of your feelings about Jack before you put all of your energies into connecting with another person, Jamie. And I think you would be more clear on what to do about Ryan if we spend some time really exploring your feelings."
"So you would recommend that I not tell her about how I feel right now?" she asked.
"My recommendation is that you keep your life as simple as possible until you're sleeping better and able to eat. If expressing your feelings to Ryan would cause more stress, I would advise against it for the time being," she replied.
"Well, given that I feel 100% better already I guess that's good advice," she replied happily.
Ryan was finally able to fulfill her long standing promise to take Jamie to hear Rory's band play locally. On that Friday evening Jamie drove over to the O'Flaherty house at 6 p.m. Everyone was there and dinner was a boisterous affair with lots of teasing and boasting from the boys. Rory left at 6:30 to get ready for the performance.
At 8 o'clock they left in several cars to hear the band play at Molly McGuire's, a local pub where they played frequently when in town. Jamie was really looking forward to hearing Rory and his band mates. She didn't know a thing about traditional Irish music, but she assumed she would love it because Ryan did.
There were 5 members in the band. Rory played keyboards and accordion, Terry played tenor and soprano sax, William played the fiddle and the violin, Mike played percussion and Dylan played bass. Shortly after they all arrived the band began their first set. Jamie was charmed by the very accomplished musicians. Most of the melodies were light and melodic, although the lyrics to nearly every song were sad or downright tragic. All of the band members sang, but Rory handled most of the lead vocals. He had a rich, mellow tenor which carried beautifully through the small room.
Jamie had been with Rory on numerous occasions, but she never would have guessed how much emotion he packed into his music. She was nearly brought to tears on several occasions by the expressiveness of his voice. After playing almost 15 songs the band took a long break. Rory came over to the table while the other musicians went outside to smoke.
Rory sat in the glow of the compliments being sent his way. Jamie was effusive in her praise and he soaked it all up happily. He asked her which songs she had most enjoyed. She thought for a long while and finally admitted that she liked the more poignant ones the best. They all laughed at this and asked her which songs had been happy. Together they went through the list; losing the farm, losing children to war, being forced to marry for money, having your lover stop seeing you because you were poor, and having your mate lost at sea. After much discussion they all agreed that every song had been sad in some way or another.
Finally Conor asked Ryan to get up and sing a happy song for the crowd. Jamie chimed in, "I didn't know you sang in public, Ryan!"
Rory replied, "She could make a good living with music if she wanted to, Jamie. She's probably the most talented of all of us."
Ryan blushed a bit at this praise but she admitted that singing for others was not a driving force for her. "I like to sing for myself mostly," she admitted. "I don't mind singing in public once in a while, but it's not something that I love enough to do every day."
"I would love to hear you Ryan," Jamie begged. "Please?"
"Okay, okay. You know I can't turn down begging," she grinned. Since the band was still on their break Brendan agreed to accompany her on the guitar. They discussed what songs to play and finally settled on two favorites. "You asked for it, Jamie," she said with a smile as she got up.
She was wearing her deep red Angora turtleneck and a pair of soft black slacks. Her hair was loos
e around her shoulders and she had just a few wispy bangs touching her forehead. Brendan grabbed an acoustic guitar and adjusted the strap. When he was ready he introduced himself. There was a single spotlight shining on Ryan as Brendan introduced her as the most beautiful and talented of the entire O'Flaherty clan. She beamed back at him as he began the first chords to the song they had chosen.
The spotlight highlighted the mahogany and gold tones in her raven hair. Her cheeks were pink from the warmth of the room and her eyes sparkled and danced in the bright white light. She looked entirely at ease as she sat on a tall stool with the heels of her loafers hooked over a rung. Her posture was upright and poised but very casual. She looked as though she was singing in front of very close friends at her home.
The song they had chosen was, in fact, rather happy. In her smooth, clear alto Ryan began to sing,
"First when I came to the town, they called me young and bonny,
Now they've changed my name, call me the Lee boys honey.
I'll dye my petticoats red, and I'll face them with a yellow,
I'll tell the Dyster lads, that the Lee boys I've to follow."
Several things impressed Jamie immediately. First, of course, was the sheer beauty of Ryan's voice. The music seemed to flow from her effortlessly. She almost seemed to be talking rather than singing. The second thing was the girlish smile and body language that Ryan had appropriated to sing the song. This was clearly a song about a young heterosexual girl and Ryan had the ability to adopt that demeanor to sell the lyrics. The final impressive element was Ryan's ability to just have fun with this. She even shot Jamie a cute little smile when she sang the next line:
"It's over hill and dale, and over dykes and ditches,
Say, will I like the lad, that wears the moleskin britches?
The black horse draws the cart, and she's as proud as any
Say will I like the lad that drives him on so canny?"
"Feather beds are fine, painted rooms are bonny
But I would leave them all to jog away with Johnny.
Oh for Saturday night, it's I that'll see my dearie
He'll come whistling in when I am tired and weary."
"First when I came to the town, they called me proud and saucy
Now they've changed my name, call me the Lee boys lassie."
Jamie was easily able to believe that Ryan could be the Lee boys lassie. But for a genetic difference she could easily be the girl that boys fought over. She could be sitting in her house on a Saturday night waiting for her Johnny. Jamie was never so glad that homosexuality existed. It gave her a fighting chance to one day know the love of this woman.
Conor and Rory sat behind Jamie casually watching both their sister and her friend. Conor had told Rory of his conversation with Ryan and they had decided to determine if there was any mutual interest on Jamie's part. Even though Conor doubted that he would win the bet he offered to double it. But Rory held firm. At the end of the song they both looked at the expression on Jamie's face. It was a mixture of love and desire with a good measure of pure worship thrown in. Rory smiled sweetly at Conor as he held out his hand. Conor reached into his wallet, pulling out two 20's and a ten that he slapped onto the table.
Later that night, Ryan walked her friend out to her car. Jamie lavished praise upon Ryan for both her singing voice and her stage presence. After discussing the band and the various members for a long while she could tell that Ryan was beat so she bid her goodnight.
As Jamie got into the car Ryan asked, "What are you doing tomorrow?"
"Uh... nothing. Why?"
"It's Saint Patrick's Day, lassie!" she announced in her lilting Irish accent.
"Okay... what are you doing?"
"I'm the barmaid at The Dubliner of course!"
"Since when do you work in a bar?!"
"I do it every St. Patrick's day," she explained in her normal voice. "If you're free come over and have a pint. Conor and some of the cousins will be there to harass me of course, so it should be fun."
"Is that the place right on 24th?"
"Yeah, but if you come be prepared for a huge crowd. It's quite a zoo!"
Jamie didn't want to be at the bar alone so she waited until 8 to head over. She had to park so far away from the bar that she wound up a block past Ryan's house. My God, it's never been this congested over here, she marveled. I guess everyone is out celebrating St. Patrick's Day.
Her suspicions were confirmed when she tried to wedge into the bar. The rowdy patrons were packed in so tight she knew they were violating several city ordinances, but she assumed the local police turned a blind eye on St. Paddy's Day. It took a great deal of patience and a few well placed elbows but she finally made her way near to the large wooden bar. She lucked out and found that the crowd had deposited her right next to a happy little group that featured Brendan, Conor, Niall, Kieran and Frank. "Jamie!" they cried, nearly as one.
The overly exuberant tone to their call indicated the advanced level of their inebriation but she gamely allowed each of the men to offer a hug and didn't even complain about Conor's rather sloppy kiss on her cheek. "How long have you boys been here?" she shouted over the din.
"We walked Ryan over at 5," Brendan supplied. "What time is it now?"
"Almost 9," she yelled in reply.
"No wonder I can't feel me feet!" he marveled in his own little Irish accent.
Just then Jamie spotted her favorite barmaid. Ryan looked extremely attractive this evening, not that that was a news flash. But there was something about her that looked very different. It took Jamie a moment to realize that Ryan looked straight! It wasn't just that her hair was held back with a braided green and white ribbon; it wasn't that she was dressed in a form fitting emerald green knit vest sans blouse; it wasn't even the fact that she wore a touch of makeup. No, it was the fact that she was acting straight and that, most decidedly, to Jamie's keen eye, was a first. Ryan spotted her and gave a demure little wave along with a toss of her jet black hair. Jamie grinned and shook her head at the display, but when Ryan approached the man to her left she nearly fell from the stool that Brendan insisted she occupy.
"Evenin' darlin'," she announced in a rather dramatic, thick Irish accent, as she graced him with her most winning smile and a girlish batting of her eyes. "How can I help ya?"
The tongue tied man seemed as flabbergasted by the raven haired beauty as Jamie was but he managed to choke out, "Are you new around here?"
"Aye!" she cried. "Just over from Killala in Mayo!" She said this with such joy that it appeared she expected the man to be a relative from the old sod or at least a fellow Kilallan.
"Welcome to America," he said dreamily. "Can I have a pint of Guinness and your phone number?"
"Ahh, go on with ya!" she cried. "You lads are all so friendly! I've had more good wishes and offers to show me around than I can count. Such a friendly place!" she said as she turned to draw his pint. Jamie noticed that her friend bent over just enough to show her best assets as she drew his stout, smiling that unnerving smile the entire time. She placed the pint in front of him and said coyly, "I'm not sure how long I'll be stayin' luv. It costs a pretty pence to stay in your lovely city. But if I can afford it maybe you can come 'round some time, eh?"
He nodded as if in a trance, pulling out a $5 for the $3 pint and thanking Ryan profusely as he walked back to his mates, happy to leave the gorgeous woman a 66% tip. Ryan dashed to the register and rang up the $3 sticking two singles into her bulging back pocket. She trotted back and signaled to Jamie, "Meet me at the end of the bar!"
It was a tough trip but she made the short distance not too much after her grinning friend. Ryan dug into her straining pocket and handed the gob of slightly damp bills to her friend. "Keep my tips, will you?" she said right into Jamie's ear in order to be heard. "It doesn't look right to look like I'm doing too well."
"Geez, Ryan!" she cried. "How did you make all this?"
"An Irish accent, a tight sweater and a Wonder
bra!" she laughed. "How else?"
"So you put on this act just to make money?" she asked, slightly incredulous.
"Mighty!" she agreed as she pinched Jamie's cheek and trotted back to her post.
By the time Jamie made it back Conor had procured a perfectly poured pint of Guinness for her as well as another round for his drinking buddies. She had never seen any of the boys in their cups...had never in fact seen them drink at all except for bowling night. But she had to admit that they were a fun group of drunks. Conor especially was twice as charming, if a little sloppy. He tossed an arm around Jamie and held on to her for the duration of the evening. But after a while it became clear that he did so to maintain his balance as much as to show his affection.
The boys had been teasing and taunting each other mercilessly all night and Jamie found herself on the end of a few pointed barbs herself. But she didn't mind a bit...in fact it made her feel like one of the group and she did her best to give as good as she got. She limited herself to two pints but that was more than enough to give her a very pleasant buzz. Her mind reeled at the thought of how the boys must be feeling since she had personally seen them each have 3 in the two hours she had occupied her stool.
When one patron got a little too enamored of Ryan she watched all of the boys give him a long stern look but they didn't make an obvious move to deter him. Ryan took his wandering hands in stride, stepping quickly out of the way when he tried to grab a handful of her shapely butt. "I'm amazed you didn't flatten him," Jamie chuckled into Conor's ear.
"Ahh, you can't blame them, Jamie," he explained rather expansively. "She looks like she wants them to grab her; she flirts with them constantly...hell, I'm half tempted to make a play for her!" He laughed at his own joke and nearly passed out in hysterics when he caught the look on Jamie's stunned face. "I'm kidding, Jamie!" he howled. She slapped him lightly on the side and rolled her eyes in exasperation at his antics. But he leaned over as he pulled her tightly against his side. "How about you?" he purred rather seductively.
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