by Erin Trejo
Chapter 44
I’ve got my contacts looking into Matthew but as for now he’s still missing.
I’m searching the addresses that Nina had given me the other day and our best bet is looking like the out of state house. I have a few guys that I know out that way taking a look into it before I haul ass over there.
The silence in this apartment is killing me. It’s wearing me thin that’s for sure.
Damion has called me a few times but I mostly blow him off. I need to figure shit out on my own for now.
I know my club is my family but until I feel like I can handle myself around Trig, I am taking that step back.
Nina walks around on pins and needles when she’s passing by me. The last few days have been strange. I don’t know what to say to her and she doesn’t seem to want to speak to me.
I didn’t realize that the age difference bothered her so much. As much as I’d like to say that I can just let her go and live her life, I can’t. I don’t want to.
I want her here. I want her with me. I want to protect her but the main thing I want, is to love her. She does something to me that age doesn’t even have a play in.
Watching her as she walks past me once more, I can barely breath.
“Nina. Can you sit for a minute?” She spins around quickly, probably surprised that I spoke to her.
Nodding her head once, she sits on the chair opposite of me. Shit, this is insane.
“I’m going to find your dad. I will kill the motherfucker when I do.” She shrugs her shoulders like it’s not a big deal to her. Hell, maybe after what she’s lived through it isn’t.
Blowing out a breath, I scrub my hand over my face.
“Once I find him, you’re free to go. I won’t hold you back.” Tears fill her eyes. Has that been what she’s waited for? Those words?
I swallow hard. Maybe she wasn’t feeling the same thing as me. Clearly, she’s relieved.
“He’s dangerous. I don’t even know where I’d go.” That’s not the words I wanted to hear. In fact, that pisses me off.
“I’m dangerous. You’ll figure it out.” Slamming the laptop closed, I shove off the couch when she speaks again.
“Is that what you’ve wanted this whole time?” She asks. Fuck! Why is she doing this to me? In my mind, I need to say yes. Let her walk away when this is over, but in my heart, I don’t want to.
“I want your dad’s ass, Nina. He stole from us.” Turning towards the hallway, I don’t get far. Her hands wrap around my waist. All the air is ripped from my lungs.
“I was asking about me.” I don’t miss the hitch in her voice. It hurts that she could think that about me.
Grabbing her hands in mine, I slowly pull her around to stand in front of me.
So, lost and unsure, she watches me.
“I knew you were young when I took you. Did I plan on fallin’ for you? No, I didn’t. I knew I should have kept my distance but I didn’t.” The tears in her eyes slowly fall down her cheeks.
“So, you don’t want me?” As if she had to ask that. Her words are tearing me apart.
Gripping her face in my hands, I force her to look at me.
“I’ve never wanted anything the way I want you. I don’t want to ruin you, Nina. I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want my life to fuck up yours. I’m not the good man that you think I am. You’ve seen that first hand.” Push her away. That’s all that I can think of. She has to walk away from me after this as much as I don’t want her to.
“I’ve seen the man that you are. The one that didn’t hurt me when you should have. The one that protected me. The one that walked away from his club with me.” She still doesn’t get it.
“Walkin’ away wasn’t permanent, Nina.”
Lost
Chapter 45
We left the conversation the way it was. It wasn’t permanent. I’m going back, I just need to get myself together first.
Nina’s stayed in the room, barely coming out at all.
I make calls, search the internet. I’m as lost as she is. It physically hurts that we’re pushing each other away.
We don’t talk, hell, we don’t even look at each other.
“I’m leaving.” When I hear those words my heart stops. Looking up from my phone, she stands there with her bag over her shoulder.
“No, you’re not.” Looking back down at my phone, I ignore her. She isn’t leaving this apartment.
“You have no reason to keep me and honestly, I’d like to see you try.” Well, look at that. My little smart mouth has returned from the dead.
Chuckling, I lay the phone next to me on the couch before standing.
Glaring at her, she doesn’t move. Defiant little shit.
“Who said you get to make those decisions?” Crossing my arms over my chest, she does the same. Mimicking me.
“I did. You don’t want me here. I don’t want to be here.” Fuck, she’s killing me inch by inch.
“Uh huh. You came to that reasonin’ all by yourself, little girl?” She wants to push my buttons; I can do the same.
“Yeah, I did, old man.” My dick strains to be released from these jeans. Calling me her old man does more to me than she could possibly know.
I have to bite my tongue before I tell her that’s exactly what I want to be.
“Well, too bad you’re still not leavin’ here. I told you once I have your dad, you can go.” The anger that lights up inside of her eyes is beautiful.
“You will have to go back to your room and throw a little tantrum.” I say to egg her on. The fire blazes higher and higher inside of her, I can see it.
“I can’t stay here, Blaze! Don’t you get that?” Her screams become louder like I knew they would.
“And why is that, sweetheart? Have I made it so goddamn bad for you?” Now it’s my turn. To be fair, I think I’ve been pretty goddamn pleasant compared to what she’s used to.
“You don’t understand!” She says, throwing her bag to the floor. I cock my head to the side taking her in.
“What don’t I understand?” I ask, taking a step towards her. She shakes her head.
“I can’t stay here with you, Blaze! Do you not get it? I might be younger than you but fuck! I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything before! I can’t stay where I’m not wanted!” Sucking in a breath, I can’t believe her.
Days ago, she thought I was too old for her. Now she’s done a complete flip. Maybe she’s bipolar!
“Why now, Nina? The other day I was too damn old for you.” She looks away from me. She regrets that. I can see it all over her face.
“I think I love you, Blaze. It scares the hell out of me after everything else. You scare the hell out of me. What if you don’t want me later? What if you want someone younger?” Younger? What the hell does she think I am? A goddamn pedophile?
I choke on a laugh which pisses her off. She reaches down grabbing her bag before turning towards the door.
I’m behind her in a few long strides. I cage her in with my arms around her head, pressing my dick into her back.
“Does that feel like I’m tired of you? I didn’t plan on you, Nina. I didn’t plan on you being so young or fallin’ into my goddamn lap.” I don’t miss the shudder that shakes her body.
She wants real truth; I just gave it to her.
Understanding
Chapter 46
I keep her in place, pinned against the door.
“Now listen good to what I’m about to say to you because this is the last time it will be said.” Sticking my tongue out, I capture her earlobe between my teeth, gently sucking before I release it.
“If I didn’t want you, you wouldn’t be here. You wouldn’t be in my bed, under me, ridin’ me. I scare you? You scare me, Nina. I’ve lived a rough life. Loss is all around me. I don’t think I could handle one more thing gettin’ taken away from me.” The gasp that escapes her tells me she understands.
As much as I’d like to push her away still, I can’t. Not now.
&nb
sp; “I’m scared of how much I want you, of what I feel for you.” Her words are slight whispers. If I wasn’t listening I wouldn’t have heard them.
I get that she’s scared. Hell, I’m about to lose myself over this shit. After all the hell Ally put me through, I don’t want to relive that. I don’t want to be that hurt again.
“I know I’m not perfect. I can’t change my age. I can’t change who I am. I know what I feel though, Nina.” Her head lowers. My hands leave the door, wrapping around her before slowly turning her to face me.
Lifting her chin, she glares at me with those defiant blue eyes.
“If you don’t want this, if you’re not sure, say the words. I won’t touch you. I will keep you safe like I agreed to until I get your dad.” She’s so torn that it kills me. I wish she didn’t have to think about it.
“I do want you, Blaze.” God, that was all I needed. Pressing her body against the door, I devour her mouth with mine. So, soft and full of life.
This girl may be the death of me one day.
“I’ll give you anything you want, Nina.” Biting her lip gently, she moans into mouth.
“I just want you, Blaze.” Her tongue darts into my mouth. That’s invitation enough for me.
I reach done releasing my belt buckle before dropping my jeans to the floor. Nina’s come next before I lift her in my arms.
“You’re gettin’ me.” Slamming into her, I can’t believe how she fits me. I can’t believe that she’s actually admitting that she wants me.
Bucking my hips into her, there is nothing I want more than this.
Her hands glide through my hair as I thrust deeper. She’s so damn tight, I could stay here forever.
“Never leave me, Nina. Never.” My lips press into her skin, licking and sucking.
Nina grinds against me, meeting every thrust with a downward push. It’s as if she can’t get me deep enough into her.
Biting down on her shoulder, I feel her cum. Her juices gush around me before I feel my balls tighten.
I let go, I let myself feel her. I let her feel me.
Let’s Ride
Chapter 47
As much as I love staying here and fucking Nina senseless that isn’t helping with finding her dad.
“You settled the fuck down?” Damion passes me a beer. Taking it, I drop on the stool before looking over at him.
“Trig is a weak link, Damion. We all know it, brother.” I say. Damion doesn’t speak. He knows it, we all do.
“That isn’t up for discussion right now.” He says. I let out a grunt, it never is. We need the fucking man power around here to keep this club running at full force. As much as that pisses me off, it is what it is.
“I’m goin’ out of town for a little while. I want to check on that place Nina told me about.” Damion nods knowing I don’t give a shit if he agrees or not.
“Let me guess? You don’t want to take Trig.” His chuckle doesn’t settle me at all. I would kill that son of a bitch before I took him anywhere.
“I’ll take Luck or B.” Damion takes a drink of his beer before looking back at me.
“Take them both. I don’t need you rollin’ up on him alone. I want that motherfucker alive in the basement.” I know what that means. His eyes flicker to mine. His slight nod is all I need.
“Sounds good to me. I got a few things for him.” He chuckles once again making me smile.
“I bet you do.” Shoving off the stool, I start to holler at the guys when my eyes catch on Neely standing at the other end of the bar.
“You know who that is?” Damion asks catching my gaze.
“Yeah. That’s Misty LaRue. She’s about as crazy as Neely. She ran her tatts a while back over at Ink and Stone.” I tell him.
“She looks as crazy as Neely.” Damion says before walking away.
I shake my head before turning and hollering at Luck and B.
“Let’s ride boys!” They both grin knowing they are tired as hell sitting around this clubhouse.
The rides have been few and far between for a little while.
“We with you?” Nodding once, I toss Luck the keys to the truck.
“What the fuck?” B. laughs until I glance at him.
“You two are in the truck. If we find that fuck, he’s headin’ towards the basement.” Luck twirls the keys around his finger. We walk out the door and I’m greeted by Nina.
“Are we good?” She asks. That grin on her face is so damn beautiful.
“We’re good. Let’s ride.”
The Open Road
Chapter 48
Having Nina wrapped around me is the best feeling I’ve ever had. Her hands are warm as they grip my stomach under my shirt.
I’ve never let a woman on the back of this bike, not even Ally. It holds something special to me.
The open road is something I can’t get enough of. Having Nina with me just makes it that much better.
I keep my eyes on the road as we near our destination. I don’t like being out of our territory but if that son of a bitch is hiding somewhere, I want to be the one to find him.
The guys drive close behind in the truck. I like knowing that they are close by incase anything happens to jump off. I don’t want Nina hurt.
I pull off the highway with knots in my stomach. I know Nina can feel me tense up under her touch. This isn’t the way I wanted this shit to play out. In fact, it’s a club job that I’ve made personal.
We pull into the hotel parking lot before I cut the engine. Climbing off, I pull Nina with me.
“We’ll regroup before we head over there.” Her bright blue eyes are full of worry. I can see it, plain as day.
Reaching up, I cup her face in my hands.
“It’s gonna be fine, sweetheart. I won’t let him hurt you.” She’s so unsure of everything, of me. It hurts that she still feels this way even after everything else.
“I know you won’t.” Pressing my lips to hers, I savor her taste if only for a minute.
“We know if he’s there?” Luck strolls over to where we stand. I pull Nina into my chest, holding her tightly.
“No. We need to talk this shit out before we just head over there. Nina can’t be there.” I say. Suddenly, she jerks from my grasp. Her eyes are wild when she looks up at me.
“You are not leaving me behind!” She snaps. Here we go. There’s my little smart ass.
“I’m not leavin’ you. You’re waitin’.” There is a difference whether she sees it or not.
B. chuckles only pissing her off further.
“Hey, Fuck you both!” She snaps. Pointing at B. before looking to Luck, I almost lose it myself. She is on fire and I love every second of it.
“Hold the fuck up.” Luck takes a step towards her. My hands clench at my sides but Nina takes care of herself much like I knew she could.
“No! Fuck you! You think this shit is funny? He has sent people after me! So, forgive me if I don’t sit in a goddamn room and wait for him to finish what he started!” Her body vibrates with rage. A rage that she wants so badly to take out on someone, anyone.
The guys look taken aback. They know this life. They know how shit is and unfortunately so does Nina.
I wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her back against me.
“Don’t do that, Blaze. Don’t fucking baby me!” She snaps. Her fight is admirable. Now isn’t the time though.
“I’m not. You want to ride on this? Fine, you’re ridin’.” The tension leaves her as quickly as it came. I don’t like the idea of her being anywhere near danger but if that’s what she needs, who the hell am I to deny it?
“You’re going to let me go?” She gasps. Spinning in my arms, she looks up at me. I don’t speak. I can’t. I’m lost in all that is pure and innocent about her.
“Do I want you to? Fuck no. You’ve made it pretty goddamn clear for a while now that you don’t listen.” As much as I’m being serious right now, there’s a playfulness there too.
“You’re right. I wo
uldn’t have listened anyway.” Pressing her lips to mine, I get lost her once again.
This girl is going to be the death of me yet.
Talk it out
Chapter 49
We stopped off at a little diner to grab something to eat before we head over to check this house out.
Nina has been quietly picking at her food, so much running around that pretty little head of hers.
“You hear about Trig’s old lady?” My head snaps up, eyes locking with Luck’s. Trig is a real piece of work that I honestly can’t stand but he’s always kept his personal life away from the club.
“What about her?” Luck looks at Nina but she isn’t paying any attention to us that I can tell.
“She left him. Took the kids. Damion said that’s why he’s been off.” He says. Shit! I’ve been giving him hell for weeks now. I didn’t know he was having all that trouble.
“Shit. Why?” I ask. Luck shrugs before B speaks.
“Had a fight. She told him the little one wasn’t his. Said it was another brother’s.” How the hell did that happen?
“She doesn’t come around the club. What brother?”
“Not our club, Blaze. From what we’ve heard, it’s one of the Rogue’s kids.” Damn. That has to be horrible.
“I’ve been givin’ him shit for weeks now. I didn’t know all that.” I say. Luck shrugs again.
“Why the hell would she step out on him?” Asking the obvious question seemed like a good idea.
“She was tired of being alone. He was cheating. There are tons of reasons.” Nina says. All eyes snap to Nina’s when the words leave her mouth. She didn’t even look up when she said it.
With the silence at the table, her eyes come up to meet mine before looking at the other two.
“What? It’s true. If he was fucking around maybe she got sick of it. You said he’s always at the club, she might have been lonely.” She says in a calm tone. Cocking my head to the side, I take her in. Good to know I better not leave her ass alone.