by Caroline Lee
He didn’t want to be like Ivan.
The next time Coop kissed her, he’d be sure she was thinking about only him. He was going to make sure he was the only man she thought about—imagined kissing—for the rest of her life.
He just had to figure out how to do that.
Forcing a smile, Coop sat up. Kalli had just reached the end of the smooth stick and was turning it around, trying to fit the end into her mouth. He gently removed it from her hands, and before she could start crying, handed her a piece of the bread leftover from his sandwich.
The baby started to happily chew on that instead, and he pulled her into his lap just as her mother sat up. Jackie’s hair was in disarray, and she had a bemused expression on her sweet face, as if she wasn’t sure what had just happened.
She looked almost as good as if he had kissed her.
Coop smiled. “Who’s ready for dessert?”
“You were just complaining how full you were.” Jackie blew some hair out of her face.
One handed, he reached for the cooler bag he’d packed. “Yeah, but there’s always room for chocolate chip cookies.” He handed one to her. “Did you know there’s a correct number of chocolate chips per cookie, and the ratio is really important?”
Jackie was busy chewing—Miranda’s cookies really were amazing, despite the fact she was now so pregnant she couldn’t reach the counter to mix, and was relying on one of her assistants to do a lot of the actual work—but she lifted a brow, as if inviting him to continue.
“Let me tell you about Bob, the chef at the café who made those amazing sandwiches yesterday.” Coop settled back on his hands, happy to have Kalli in his lap and Jackie beside him. “And his attempts to woo River’s End Ranch’s baker…”
CHAPTER SEVEN
The last few weeks had been incredible. Jackie felt as if she were living in a dream, honestly. Or maybe walking on clouds. Kalli had been in a great mood, and extra snugly at night in their room. Work had been going great; Jackie was really feeling the energy and vibes from some wonderful massages.
And she got to see Cooper almost every day.
He hadn’t bugged her about getting a phone, but he still managed to run into her—accident or not—on her lunch break or when she was picking up Kalli, almost every day. He had to work Tuesdays, so that was one day she didn’t see him—she often spent that day walking into town to buy simple groceries. But Sundays meant church and picnics with Cooper.
And every single time he saw her, she swore his face lit up. Like, actually lit up. Almost like a scene from a Hallmark movie or something. He smiled when he saw her…and it made Jackie feel like the most important person in the world.
What was neat—and a little terrifying—was that Kalli’s face also lit up when she saw Cooper. The little baby would wriggle in Jackie’s arms to face him, and often reach for Cooper and make cooing noises and grabbing motions until he took her. If she were on the ground, she’d crawl as fast as she could to him and pull herself up on his knees, while he laughed proudly.
Heaven help her, her daughter was in love with the man.
And Jackie wasn’t far behind.
She’d known Cooper Weston for months and known all the best parts of him. But in the weeks since their first date, she’d gotten to know all of him. His dislikes, his foibles. She’d listened to his frustration at how Kenneth tried to control everything, even when it couldn’t be controlled. She’d held his hand while he confessed how much he missed Tripp, his little brother, and how worried he was for the younger man. She’d laughed with him as he told her the story of Marybeth wooing Mack, and how the couple were now both devoted to their racing huskies.
And one evening, sitting on the bench by the carousel behind Sadie’s Saloon, while Kalli cooed happily beside them, Jackie had held Cooper as he’d cried, telling her about his dying mother.
Yes, the time she’d spent with him had made her realize what an incredible man he was. He was caring, and strong, and funny, and had a moral ruler she could set her watch by, if that were a thing and not a meandering metaphor.
The point was: Cooper Weston was good. Too good for someone like her. But for some reason, he seemed to like her.
No, not like. He’d told her he loved her.
Granted, he hadn’t said it again since that first date. He hadn’t kissed her again either, which she most definitely noticed. She wanted to kiss him, but if he didn’t want to kiss her, she wasn’t going to push for it. She wasn’t the sort of woman to encourage a man to kiss her—not anymore—no matter how much she’d been thinking about it. She’d been thinking about his declaration too.
He’d told her he loved her, and was going to prove she was worthy of it.
And if that’s what he’d been doing these last weeks, Jackie hoped he never gave up on it. Because, heaven help her, she was beginning to believe he was right. She was beginning to believe she was special, and could offer him something worthwhile. Something which wasn’t just physical—like Ivan had wanted—but emotional too.
She was beginning to feel like she might maybe, possibly, in some infinitesimal way, be worthy of Cooper’s love.
Today, Pastor Kevin’s sermon had been on loving one another, and she couldn’t help but think back to the one about loving yourself. Was she ready to start loving herself? Now that she saw herself the way Cooper saw her—he called her strong, independent, caring, protective—she was seeing parts of herself worthy of love.
Tucked up against him in the pew, feeling like she was right where she belonged, it was hard not to feel worthy of love. The people around her were familiar faces; she worked with them, lived near them, saw them all the time. They were Cooper’s family and friends, and some of them were guests who were made to feel like family.
She felt like…like…like she was home.
She felt as if the woman she used to be, and the life she used to lead, were finally gone. Left completely behind in Chicago…forgotten. Here and now, she was Jackie Novak, really and truly. River’s End Ranch and Cooper Weston had accepted her as her true self, and she was home.
Glancing up at Cooper’s strong chin, she couldn’t help but smile. It was time to admit the truth, to herself at least. She loved him, wholly and completely.
Now, she just had to work up the guts to tell him that.
“I really love that we have a tradition, you know.”
Coop held Kalli up against his shoulder—she was tugging on his ear—and swung Jackie’s hand back and forth as they walked towards their favorite aspen in the meadow. Jackie was holding the cooler bag he’d packed that morning, and Aunt Bobbi’s quilt was tucked up under Kalli’s bottom.
“Tradition?” Jackie glanced at him questioningly.
He also loved that after these last few weeks with her, he knew her well enough to be able to read her expressions. Heck, he loved a lot of things about her. He loved her, but he was determined not to tell her that again—as hard as it was—until she was ready to hear it.
Until she was ready to admit she’d left her old self completely behind.
When she squeezed his hand, he realized he hadn’t answered.
“Our Sunday picnics, I mean. This is really relaxing.” And it felt so right to see friends and family at church, with her beside him, then spending the day together. “I look forward to it all week.”
“Me too,” she admitted with a slight smile. “I still wish you’d let me buy the lunches sometimes though.”
“No way, no how. My mama raised a gentleman, and that means I get to pay for our dates.” Besides, he knew she and Kalli shared a room in the bunkhouse and ate ramen most nights. This was his way of taking care of them, as much as he was allowed to.
“Fine.” She rolled her pretty eyes comically. “But one day I am going to cook for you.”
“Oh yeah?” They stepped off the boardwalk and into the meadow. “And what would you cook for me?”
“Perogies of course!”
At his confused frown, sh
e burst into laughter.
“Don’t tell me you’ve never had perogies?” she asked, still giggling.
“You mean the potato dumplings in the frozen food section?”
“Frozen? Potatoes? Oh, Lord give me strength,” she teased. “You’ve never had perogies until you’ve had them the way Grandma taught me to make ‘em. Meat and cabbage and onions, with plenty of butter and sour cream. Mmm-mmm!”
Coop had to admit that sounded pretty awesome. “Okay, yeah, those are going to be way better than whatever I can find at the grocery store. Let’s plan on you cooking those for me ASAP.”
She chuckled again. “I’m going to need an actual stove, though. The microwave in our room won’t cut it.”
When he shrugged, the baby squealed. The sound made him grin. “My aunt and uncle left on their California trip—they had to wait ‘til Wade’s baby arrived—and want to make it back before any other grandkids pop out. But I’ve got full run of their house, including the kitchen. I think I might insist you make me some of these perogies.”
“Both of us are living in borrowed spaces, aren’t we?”
She sounded so somber, Coop had to frown slightly. Was she worried? Was she still feeling like she didn’t really belong here at River’s End Ranch?
“I’ve been thinking about that.” It was the truth—he’d been thinking a lot about a future with Jackie and Kalli. “Maybe someday…” Someday soon, if he had anything to say about it. “Maybe we could get a little apartment together or something.”
He’d said it cautiously, praying he sounded casual enough to make her think it was no big deal. When she stiffened and tightened her hold on his hand, he knew he’d failed.
But she didn’t say anything, just continued to head for their favorite tree. He wanted to apologize for scaring her, for bringing up the idea of living with a man again. But if he got his way, their living situation would be nothing like what she’d experienced before.
He just needed to convince her she deserved a future here. With him.
He wracked his brain to change the subject. “So, are perogies a Chicago thing, or what?”
She glanced at him sidelong, and it was obvious by the way she relaxed that she was comfortable with the new topic. “Um, Polish. My family is Polish.” She cleared her throat. “There’s a big Polish population in Chicago. Most of Father George’s congregation—Oh!” She halted and turned to him. “Did I tell you I got a letter from him?”
Coop couldn’t help but smile at her enthusiasm. “From Father George? The priest who helped you get out of the city? That’s awesome—what did he have to say?”
Her bright smile was telling, and she swung his arm back and forth a little. “Last month I was finally able to repay the money he gave me when we came out here—remember I told you about that? I sent him a cashier’s check and told him all about our lives here and how we were doing.” She tugged him into motion again, heading for the tree. “I hadn’t been in contact with him—he’d suggested that, because it was safer—and I wasn’t even sure if he was still assigned to that church. So it was a relief to get the letter from him. He told me I didn’t need to repay him—he said that before, but I needed to, you know?—so he put the money in the church’s upkeep fund. That’s cool, I’m okay with that.” She flicked a smile over at Coop. “It was good to hear from him, to hear he’s doing well. He said he still prays for me and Kalli, and was happy to hear from us.”
Coop squeezed her hand. “I’m really happy for you,” he said genuinely. “Father George sounds like a great man. I’d love to meet him one day, shake his hand. I owe him.”
One of her brows raised again. “You owe him? I’m the one—”
He cut her off by gently squeezing her hand. “If he hadn’t helped you get out here—if he hadn’t chosen Riston, of all places—I would’ve never met you two.” He tried to show the love he felt for her when he added, “And that would’ve been the worst thing I could imagine.”
The little noise she made was somewhere between a laugh and a scoff, but she was smiling and blushing as she led them the last few strides to their favorite picnic spot.
When they reached the tree, she pulled the quilt out from under the baby’s rear end, and spread it out on the soft grass. When he set Kalli down beside the cooler bag, the little girl immediately pulled herself up, then let go, balancing carefully.
“Oh, what a big girl!” Jackie cooed happily as she sank down to her knees on the quilt, reaching for the food. “You’re so smart, Kalli Jo! Look! Standing like it’s no big deal.”
When Cooper sat across from her, the baby looked over and smiled toothily at him. He returned the smile and clapped—she mimicked him and chortled happily. The movement startled her, and she plopped down on her cushy diapered bottom, still laughing.
It was impossible to resist the lure of a laughing baby, so Coop laughed and snatched her up, pretending to nibble at her belly. She laughed harder and grabbed at his freshly shaved chin, and he inhaled her sweet baby scent.
Jackie was pulling out the sandwiches and chips and the cold thermos of milk. Coop had even remembered to bring a baggie of animal crackers, which were Kalli’s favorite. She usually just snacked on whatever they pulled off their sandwiches for her, but the cookies always made her happy. In fact, after he put her down, she crawled right over to her mama and began reaching for the baggie.
“Okay, okay!” Jackie chuckled and pulled out a handful of the cookies for her daughter, scattering them around the red and white quilt.
Kalli immediately began crawling around, picking them up to stuff in her mouth. Both adults laughed at her enthusiasm, but Coop noticed Jackie kept a watchful eye on her daughter as she ate her sandwich.
He nudged her with his foot. “You’re a really good mom, you know that?”
Blushing slightly, she studied her ham and cheese. “Thanks. I don’t feel that way. I feel like I’m treading water, barely keeping us both afloat.”
“Sounds scary.” Parenting was the one adventure he hadn’t had yet that he still desperately craved. Maybe one day. “It’s probably really hard to begin with, and you’re doing it alone.”
She nodded. “And just when I think I’ve got a handle on it, just when I think it’s not so hard, she gets sick or gets a new tooth or starts to stand up or something, and I’m totally over my head again.”
Shrugging, he nudged her again, and smiled when she glanced up at him. “From what I’ve heard, that’s really common. Will is always complaining—in a good way—about how hard it is to keep up with Reddy. Babies grow in leaps and bounds their first few years, right? I mean, think about it: In Kalli’s first minute, she had to learn to breath air and make noise and see lights and stuff.”
“Actually, babies open their eyes and can hear sounds in utero.”
He chuckled and moved a cookie a little closer to Kalli. “Okay, so she got a head start. My point is, they have to learn so much, really fast. She went from being basically a cute little blob to being a walking, talking human.”
“Hey, she’s not walking yet.”
“No…” Coop eyed the baby as she planted her hands on the ground and stood up carefully, clapping for herself. “But she’s not too far away.”
“And she can’t say much more than ‘mama’.”
He pointed his half-eaten sandwich at Jackie. “And she called me ‘mama’ the other day, so I’m not giving her too much credit.”
Jackie rolled her eyes. “She calls everything ‘mama’. Last week she called a random lady’s dog ‘mama’.”
“I’ll bet the lady loved that.”
Her eyes were twinkling. “It was Erica, and she pointed out that Rocky definitely was not a mama.”
Coop chuckled and carefully pulled off a piece of cheese and handed it to Kalli, who shoved it into her mouth.
“You know, my brother-in-law runs the kennel here at the ranch, and they’ve got a brand-new litter of pups. I’ll bet Kalli would love to see them. What do you sa
y, ladybug? Wanna meet some puppies? Puppy? Puuuppppyyy?”
Kalli chortled and clapped, happy to be included. “Aaaammamamaaa!”
Both adults burst into laughter.
“Guess she really does call everyone ‘mama’!” Coop said.
When he stopped chuckling and looked over at Jackie, it was to find her staring at him, with something in her eyes he couldn’t identify…something good.
“What?” he asked, suddenly self-conscious.
“Nothing.” She smiled and looked away, then glanced back at him. “It’s just…you have the best smile. Like, seriously the best. I noticed that a long time ago—when you smile, it’s as if—as if—as if the whole world…” She shrugged and looked down at her hands. “I dunno. It just makes me want to smile too.”
Cooper grinned again. “I like the sound of that.”
He reached forward to take her hand, because he couldn’t not touch her, not after a confession like that. “I’m going to make it a point to smile as often as I can then, if it’ll make you smile too.”
Still not looking at him, she grinned softly.
“We’re looking forward to the July Fourth celebration,” she offered shyly, as if she were trying to change the subject.
It was a subject he was happy to talk about. He let go of her hand and sat back, letting her pick up her lunch again. “Me too! I’ve already got the show designed, I just have to get it set up. I’m thinking I’ll show up early on Wednesday—maybe even Tuesday evening—and set them up.”
“Where?” She took a big bite of her sandwich and stared at him with curious eyes.
He shrugged. “Andrew said they usually launch the fireworks from one of the docks at the boat house. There’s a floating one which extends pretty far into the lake.” He gestured towards the distant lake. “I can launch from there, and everyone sitting here in the meadow—and pretty much anywhere on the ranch, I guess—could see them. I think they’ll be pretty cool.”