CORAM

by Bonnie Burrows

  “I’m sure. I want to see you. If you want me to eventually be able to say those words to you.”

  “You mean that you love me?”

  “Yes. Those words,” she swallowed down her panic at the very thought, “then shouldn’t they come from the mouth of a woman who has seen you in all your forms?”

  Egan shrugged. He couldn’t argue with her logic, though he wondered if she was truly ready for such a thing. “If you think you’re ready, I can. But I’m not sure if it’s a good idea.”

  “I’m ready. I promise.”

  Egan nodded. He undressed quickly, folding his clothes neatly beside him on the ground and laying his hiking boots on top. Her eyes trailed down his naked body and he caught her gaze, winking at her when he did. She blushed prettily, yanking her eyes back to his face and trying to ignore the bronzed, chiseled chest that beckoned to her. It was a struggle.

  Holding his hands in front of him, he watched her face as he shifted. He willed his body to shift slowly, giving her ample time to adjust to each new change before the next one came. The pain this caused was excruciating, but Egan held fast, gritting his teeth and bearing the pain.

  Cambria gasped as his hands slowly moved, fashioning themselves into paws while they simultaneously sprouted short, orange and white hair. She watched in awe as the tiger took over the human flesh, the dramatic change inching up his arms slowly.

  Cambria noticed that his feet were also changing, tightening and curling beneath themselves until they formed massive paws. When he’d changed all the way to his knees, he dropped down onto all fours. His knee joints reversed, bending back painfully as his legs became rear legs and the direction of the joint changed accordingly.

  Egan was breathing hard, the pain evident on his face. He looked at Cambria, trying to keep his expression neutral. “Are you okay?” he asked

  “Yes. I’m fine.”

  “Good,” he ground out. He was losing control. The effort to lengthen his shift was too much and he finally let go. In an instant, the rest of his body changed, forcing a roar of pain from Egan as cells splits and altered violently.

  Still, Cambria held his gaze, watching as the last of Egan’s face disappeared into the visage of a giant tiger. Egan shuddered, shaking himself a bit to cast off the last of the pain. He stood, eyes locked on Cambria as she sat there, arms wrapped tightly around her legs, which were pulled up to her chest.

  “Can I touch you?” she asked, but then realized that he could no longer speak.

  She stood, her steps slow and hesitant. Egan bowed his head and lowered it to the ground, his mighty paws crossed in front of him.

  Cambria closed the space between them slowly, taking deep breaths as she went. Trying to remain calm, she reminded herself over and over that it was Egan, and not some strange animal after her. In the back of her mind, everything that had been drilled into her head was trying to come to the surface. She pushed those thoughts away, rejecting the ignorant things she’d been taught and holding onto what she knew to be fact.

  She knew that Egan hadn’t once harmed her.

  She knew that he had protected her when the battle had erupted.

  And she knew that he loved her, beyond reason and without cause.

  One foot in front of the other, she moved forward until she was standing between is front paws. He didn’t move, but she could hear his steady breath and a low, even purring.

  Hand trembling slightly, she reached out to him. She grabbed his ear between two fingers, gently rubbing back and forth and taking in the feel of his coat. It was coarser than she’d expected, but it was exactly the color she envisioned it would be.

  Her heart pounded so forcefully that her throat ached. She took a calming breath, trying to get herself under control. Repeating her mantra that it was only Egan, she trailed her fingers over the length of his face, smoothing her thumb over his brow bone and using her nails to scratch the hair along his nose. His eyes closed briefly and she made a mental note to ask him if that had felt particularly good.

  Cambria touched his nose lightly. It felt odd, almost like a cat’s nose but not quite. She wondered when she’d touched a cat’s nose, but it had been too long ago for her to remember.

  She grabbed his face in both hands, resting her forehead on his for a moment, breathing in the scent of him. She couldn’t see or smell the Egan she knew, but somehow, she knew he was in there. That this tiger was the man who had saved her from certain death; the man who had taken her from the compound and opened her eyes to what it was liked to be loved and respected and not treated like a burden or lesser than.

  The sky was starting to turn gray and gold, and a chill was creeping into the air. Cambria released Egan’s, stepping to the side and running her hand along his back, over his hip before sliding her hand down to the end of his tail.

  He looked back at her, then at his back.

  “You want me to ride you?” she asked.

  His head lowered and raised, looking very much like he was shaking his head “yes”.

  “I can’t do that, I’ll hurt you.”

  Egan rolled his eyes visibly and Cambria had to laugh. It was the oddest expression to see on the face of a tiger, but it was proof that he retained his humanness, even when in the shape of a tiger. She relented, scrambling gracelessly onto his back before straddling him. Egan stood, the motion almost unseating Cambria. He turned over his shoulder again and somehow Cambria knew that he meant to hold on tight.

  She reached down, grabbing his loose scruff and holding on tightly. Egan turned towards the valley below, still glowing a soft gold as the sun disappeared almost completely. He picked his way down the rocks, careful not to fling Cambria off his back as he went. The bison continued to graze, unaware that he was slinking down the hill towards them. When his paws touched the valley floor, he crouched low and crept towards them. Cambria had never been so close to a bison. She was in awe of their size and the flat, brown color of their coats.

  There was a large bull grazing on the edge of the herd, several yards away from the group. He looked up, enormous brown eye looking at them for a split second before he realized that there was a predator among them. When he saw Egan, he bellowed, turning to flee and starting the others running away. Egan gave them a head start before he went after them, startling Cambria in the process. He wasn’t trying to cause a stampede, so he gave them plenty of leeway. Cambria watched the entire scene unfold, in awe of the beauty of the creatures before her, and the one beneath her.

  Before long, Egan stopped and turned back the way they’d come. The sky was starting to darken now, and there was a bite to the air that hadn’t been there before. Egan began to run back through the valley towards the campsite, lengthening his stride and picking up speed. The wind whipped through Cambria’s hair, which flew around her face haphazardly. Her breathing sped up, her excitement growing.

  When he got to the base of the hill, he leaped onto the first boulder and onto the next, giving no more than a moment’s rest between each boulder before jumping on the next one. The final leap was the largest. Cambria saw what was before them and plastered herself to his back, wrapping her legs and arms around him and holding on for dear life. Powerful back legs propelled them into the air and onto the final boulder.

  Egan walked back to where they’d started, lying down once more to let Cambria slide off his back and onto solid ground again. Cambria’s legs were unsteady, so she reached out to put her hand on Egan to hold herself up. When the feeling passed, she stepped away, scratching him behind the ear before returning to her rock. She sat down, chin on her knees while she watched him. It was a lot to absorb and Cambria was a little overcome with all she’d experienced.

  Egan changed back to a human, the transformation moving much more quickly than the first. In human form once more, he dressed quickly before going to Cambria, sitting behind her once more and wrapping himself around her. She trembled softly but otherwise gave no indication of how she was feeling. He kissed the top of
her head and held her, letting her sit in silence and waiting for her to speak.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Encircled in his embrace, Cambria finally quit trembling.

  “Are you okay?” he asked. “I knew I shouldn’t have done that.”

  “No. It’s all right. I just never expected to see you like that, or to be completely unafraid. The only shifter I had ever seen before was in the woods when I first met Laskin. And that was so frightening I passed out.”

  She pressed herself against him, her cheek burrowed into his chest, head under his chin. She felt safer in his arms than she ever imagined she would, much safer than any man before him. Cambria chuckled under her breath at the thought.

  “What?”

  “I was just thinking that I felt safer in your arms than any man before you. But then I realized, no man before you ever held me like this.”

  “Never?”

  “No. It’s not like I have a lot of experience. But the men I was with would leave shortly after. We were just in it for the sex, there was no talk of love.”

  Egan smiled but didn’t point out to her that she’d all but said she loved him just then. Not in so many words, but that was by far the closest she had come.

  They talked for a while, with Egan listening intently to both the things she said and those that she’d left out. She is so guarded about her past, driven by years of conditioning to keep as much about herself private as possible. Egan kept his mouth shut, letting her go on as long as she was willing to talk. He’d learned that asking her something when she was opening up was the quickest way to shut her down and send her back into brooding silence.

  He was shocked when she brought up Laskin.

  “Laskin asked me how far I was willing to go for the cause if kidnapping Grace didn’t flush your brother and his wife out.”

  “What do you mean?” He kicked himself mentally for asking, but the statement was disarming.

  “He wanted me to use sex to get to the shifters. I think he was talking about you, specifically.” She laughed softly. “Wouldn’t it be funny to see his face now?”

  Egan kissed her neck, pulling her closer and holding on for dear life. She might be able to laugh about the things that Laskin had proposed, but one thing was very clear to Egan: there was no danger that was too great for Laskin to send her into without worrying about her safety.

  He breathed slowly, not allowing his anger to build. But it was obvious that Laskin had only seen Cambria as an asset and not a person. Egan wasn’t surprised; Laskin had always judged people on what he could gain from them. But on some level, Egan had hoped that he’d cared for Cambria, at least a little.

  The fact that Laskin was willing to ask her to use her body to get to Egan spoke volumes for how little Laskin had cared for her. Asking her to do such a thing put her in danger she could never anticipate. And her naiveté put her in even more danger. He doubted Laskin would have put forth any effort to extract her before sending his goons in to kill Egan and his family. She would have likely died in the crossfire. The more he thought about it, the angrier he became, so he tried to push it aside. Laskin was dead and that past was behind them. Pretty soon, the fuss over what had happened at the compound would die down and Egan would be able to take her back home with him.

  He didn’t know where home was going to be, but he knew all that mattered was that Cambria was with him. Even if he had to leave his brother and their family behind, he would only ever be a plane ride away, and that was nothing. Maybe they would even go back to Canada and live in the family home they’d left behind. It seemed like an eternity ago, when it hadn’t been that long at all. He was certain Cambria would love Canada, but if she didn’t, wherever she wanted to be was good enough for him.

  “If you could live anywhere, where would you live?” he asked, suddenly curious about her answer.

  “I guess Montana would be nice. I like mountains and wide open spaces and there seems to be both. I don’t really know, though. This is the first time I’ve ever been out of Florida.” She stopped for a second, her silence hanging heavily on the air. “At least I think this is my first time outside of Florida. I don’t remember ever leaving but it feels wrong saying it. I can’t really explain it.”

  “Maybe you traveled when you were younger.”

  “I doubt it. My parents didn’t even let me out where the neighbors could see me. I don’t think they were the type to take family vacations.”

  Egan didn’t know what to say. His heart ached for the little girl that Cambria had been, feeling so hated and abused by her own family. He kissed the top of her head, trying to comfort her while she struggled to come to grips with the shitty life she’d been handed. But, through all of it she’d endured, she had somehow come out nearly unscathed. She had a good heart and she was strong.

  “I don’t know how you did it,” he said.

  “Did what?”

  “Went through all that hell and still came out of it so strong and so sweet.”

  “No one has an easy life, Egan. We all struggle.”

  “I don’t think most people would have come out of it as well as you. You’ve spent almost nineteen years being been abused and brainwashed and yet you’re able to overcome it. It speaks to how strong you really are.”

  Cambria leaned back and looked him in the eye. “You’ve done pretty well for yourself, haven’t you?”

  “My parents died in a car accident that turned out not to be an accident at all. They were murdered for standing up for the rights of shifters and humans to love each other and live together in peace. But, they left my brother a large inheritance and he raised me when they died. He’s a good man, always has been. I’ve had it easy compared to you.”

  “How old were you when they died?”

  “I was twelve. It was rough for a long time. But we moved on and managed to make it on our own.”

  “Were they nice?”

  Her question tore at his heart. He couldn’t wrap his head around someone even needing to ask such a thing, but he knew that Cambria didn’t know anything different from the hell that had been her life. He longed to hold her again, to hide her away from the pain in the world and protect her. If he could keep her from ever feeling pain again, he would do whatever it took.

  “They were the best parents anyone could have asked for. I wish you had met them.”

  “Me too.” She sighed heavily, looking up at the sky as the darkness came and the stars began to come out one by one. “I can’t talk about this anymore right now.”

  “I understand. Do you want something more to eat? I’m going to have to make a supply run tomorrow morning. If you have anything specific you want, write it down and I’ll make sure to get it.”

  “Can’t I go with you?”

  “No. You’re safer here. The news will eventually get a hold of a picture of you, and they’ll be looking for you or the two of us. A single man in the woods this time of year is an everyday occurrence and no one will give me a second glance.”

  “Okay.” She grimaced at the thought, but she knew he was right. Plus, he’d be faster without her. “I can wash our clothes while you’re gone, maybe clean up a little around here.” She looked around the campsite and laughed at her own joke. It would take her an hour at most to straighten out and clean everything. She’d probably be bored the rest of the day, but she’d manage.

  “I’ll grab a book for you if you want.”

  “That would be nice, but it won’t do me any good while you’re gone.” She elbowed him in the ribs playfully.

  “I know, but it’s something to look forward to.”

  “How long will we have to stay here?”

  “I don’t know, maybe another week or two. I’ll find a newspaper when I get to town and see if they’re still looking for you. If they’re not, we’ll wait another week and it should be safe by then. If they’re still looking, we might have stay for a few more weeks and come up with a plan to get out of the states until everything has died
down.”

  “If they only want me for questioning, wouldn’t they just ask me questions over the phone and let me go?”

  Egan sighed. She was smart and strong, but she was incredibly naïve.

  “They don’t want you just for questioning. Even if that’s what they say, I can guarantee that isn’t the case. I’m sure more than just Laskin died in that fight. It’s possible that many of the men that you lived with are dead, or at the very least in jail. All it takes is for one person to point the finger at you and you’re suddenly wanted.” He grabbed her hands in his and held them tight. “There’s the thing with Grace too. Grace doesn’t know I came to find you, or that you’re not really a bad person. If she fingered you in her kidnapping, you’ll be wanted for an accessory.”

  Cambria gasped. She hadn’t considered that. “But I was against it the entire time.”

  “It doesn’t matter. They’ll want to know why you didn’t just help her escape. It will be hard to explain your side of it. I have to talk to my brother, but my phone doesn’t have a signal out here. We’ll need to get you a lawyer and clear your name. It might take some time.”

  “I can’t afford a lawyer.”

  “Money isn’t an issue. It never has been. I just don’t know how things are going right now. It’s possible that we can go back, explain that Laskin took you when you were a child and raised you on the compound and that you didn’t have a choice. With the right judge and the right lawyer, that might work. You might even walk out of the police station being questioned and released. It really depends on so many things. Until I talk to my brother, I don’t really know what we need to do.”

  “What if they want to charge me for it and throw me in jail?” Cambria was starting to panic. She couldn’t be locked up somewhere again. She’d escaped her family’s clutches, but jail would be just as bad. The thought of being trapped like that again sent heartbeat soaring. “I didn’t do anything. I didn’t want her there and I sure didn’t kidnap her. That was all Tom and Laskin. And Gary, but he was trying to convince that poor woman to be his wife.”