To Trust Again: A Sweet Romance (Forty and Free Book 2)

by Lillianna Blake

  “No, not at all. In fact, I’m more happy than ever being single. I really enjoy getting to know new people and have no intention of getting married. I guess you could say that I’ve learned to see perfect, not only in myself, but in the men I date as well. I connect with them on a deeper level than I ever did before. We let the relationship go where it takes us and then move on when it no longer suits us—no hard feelings, no broken hearts.”

  “That seems impossible to me. I can’t imagine opening myself up that way to a man, let alone more than one. I tried it once, and it was a disaster.” Ella stood up from the chair and studied Jillian. There was no question that the woman was at ease. She smiled without hesitation, she laughed without covering her mouth, and she even didn’t seem to mind that her dress didn’t flatter her figure.

  “Oh, sweetie, you can’t let one tragedy stop you from experiencing a lifetime of pleasure. You may think that you’re enjoying yourself with the men you date, but when you truly connect with someone—when you feel comfortable with yourself and with him—it takes things to a whole new level.”

  “If you say so.” Ella walked over to the cosmetics table. “Right now, I’m just trying to get to know myself.”

  Jillian stood up as well. “Trust me. The best way to get to know yourself is letting yourself be known.” She smiled at her and set a business card down on the table in front of her.

  “If you ever want to talk, feel free to call me.”

  Ella was a little surprised. She nodded at the woman. “Thanks.” She picked up the card and tucked it into her purse.

  Jillian’s words lingered in her mind after she’d left the salon, but Ella wasn’t sure if she believed them. In her experience, she’d only ever gotten lost in the arms of a man—but she’d never found herself.

  Chapter 13

  As soon as Dane was alone in his hotel room, the impact of what he’d agreed to struck him. He sat down on the couch and rubbed a hand across his forehead. What had he gotten himself into? Dinner with someone he barely knew? What was he going to talk about with a woman like her? She was probably accustomed to a certain type of man—a type that wasn’t him. If only he’d declined, he could have been relaxing by the water instead of wondering what he should wear.

  He considered ways he might be able to get out of the date. Claiming illness wouldn’t work because she was bound to see him again around the hotel, and that would be awkward. Maybe he could just call her and tell her that it had been a mistake. She seemed at least somewhat reasonable. She’d understand.

  He took a deep breath and tried to relax. It was just one dinner. He was sure that he could find a way to get through it. All he had to do was be polite. As long as he didn’t lose his cool, as he had earlier in the day, he should be fine.

  Maybe it wasn’t even the dinner that worried him. Maybe it was the fact that even thinking of her had left him flustered. One minute he considered the dinner nothing but a gesture, the next he wondered if it could be something more. Was the budding excitement within him a sign that he might be ready to explore the dating world? The very thought was so foreign to him, that it sent him right back into confusion.

  As he wrestled with his concerns he went through the process of showering, dressing, and heading out to the restaurant. It was located on the resort property, so he didn’t have far to go. But every step toward the restaurant filled him with a sense of dread. What if she expected more from him than he was willing to offer? The last thing he wanted to do was cause her more frustration than he had already.

  Still, he opened the door to the restaurant and stepped inside. A waiter led him to the table.

  As he sat down, he looked toward the door. It was already a few minutes after seven. He guessed she would be there any second.

  Several minutes later the waiter walked over to him. “Can I get you anything while you’re waiting?”

  “Just a glass of water, please.”

  “Are you sure?” He handed Dane a menu. “Maybe an appetizer?”

  “No, thank you—just the water.” He set the menu down on the table.

  A few minutes later the waiter returned with the water.

  Dane took a sip, looked at his watch, then looked back at the door. He tapped his fingertips on the table just loud enough to hear.

  He tried not to look at his watch again. He was sure a minute hadn’t gone by, but it felt like an hour. He wondered if maybe he’d gotten the time wrong. Maybe it was his mistake. He tapped his fingers again.

  The waiter looked over at him. Dane looked away. His nerves were on edge.

  It wasn’t as if he’d asked her to dinner. She invited him. Why would she invite him and then just not show up? Maybe she was still upset about their first encounter. Was this some kind of twisted revenge? Even after he came to her rescue?

  He clenched his jaw. That’s what it was. She wanted to humiliate him. He wasn’t about to just sit there and take it. He had other things that he could be doing.

  As he started to stand up from the table, the door of the restaurant swung open. He almost didn’t recognize her at first. On the beach she’d only been wearing a swimsuit.

  As she walked toward him in a dark red dress and full make-up she looked like an entirely different woman.

  “You’re late.” He met her eyes.

  “You waited.” She smiled and reached for her chair.

  He reached out at the same time. His hand brushed hers away as he pulled out the chair for her.

  “Ah, a gentleman.”

  To Dane, her smile seemed forced.

  “Does that bother you?” He lingered by her chair for a moment.

  “I guess I’m just a little more modern than that.” She sat down in the chair.

  “Oh, I see.” He sat down in his chair across from her. “My son tells me I’m a little out of touch. Sorry.”

  “Don’t be. It’s refreshing. I’m sorry that I kept you waiting.”

  “It’s alright—but I did think that maybe you weren’t coming.”

  “It takes time to look like this.” Ella brushed her hair back over her shoulder.

  Dane forced his own smile. “I thought you were beautiful on the beach.”

  She smiled at him, but didn’t respond to the compliment. “Did you order yet?”

  “Not yet.”

  “Well, I’m starving.”

  Dane handed over his menu and raised his hand for another.

  The waiter brought it over. “Can I get you something to drink?” He smiled at Ella. Ella smiled back at him.

  Dane immediately noticed the snap of chemistry between the two. He wondered if it was like that everywhere for her.

  “Just a glass of white wine, please.”

  “I’ll bring it right out. Let me know when you’re ready to order.”

  “Thank you.” She began to study the menu.

  Dane took in her features. The make-up did accentuate them in a pleasant way, but it also detracted from her natural glow—or maybe that had just been the sunlight earlier. He blinked and forced himself to look away. It was just dinner, no matter what his pounding heart seemed to be telling him.

  “I think I’ll have a steak. Did you find something that you like?”

  “I’m going to go with something light. It’s been a wild day.” She closed her menu and looked at him. “This is my treat, by the way. Don’t try to pull any old-fashioned nonsense when the bill comes.”

  “Oh, I couldn’t allow that.” He frowned.

  “I don’t recall asking for your permission.” She lifted an eyebrow. “You really are out of practice, aren’t you?”

  “It just seems wrong not to pay.” He shifted in his chair.

  “Why? I invited you as a way to thank you for today. Besides, this isn’t a date. It’s just a meal between new friends. Try to relax and enjoy yourself.”

  Dane clenched his jaw. It went against his instincts not to pick up the bill, but she was right. It wasn’t a date—apparently. “Alright.” He s
miled. “Thank you.”

  Chapter 14

  Ella stared across the table at Dane. Everything about him seemed traditional—if not just a little bit boring—yet when he spoke, he had her full attention. When he smiled, her heart skipped.

  The waiter returned with her wine.

  “I’ll have the rice and vegetable medley, and the gentleman will have the steak.” She winked at Dane.

  Dane’s cheeks reddened a little, but he didn’t protest.

  “It will just be a few minutes.”

  “So, what is that you do—when you’re not rescuing people?” She picked up her glass of wine.

  Dane fiddled with the glass of water in front of him.

  “I’m an architect.”

  “Wow.” Ella raised an eyebrow. “That’s different.”

  “Is it?” He shrugged. “It’s just something I had a passion for.”

  “What do you find so interesting about it?” Ella sipped her wine and then put the glass back down on the table. “I mean, it’s just design, right?”

  “I think architecture is a lot more than that. Every building I see tells me a story. Written words, photographs—all can capture history, but wood and stone create it.”

  “Hm.” She smiled. “I never thought of it that way.”

  “Most people don’t.” He chuckled. “I guess I’m a bit strange.”

  “Oh, no, I don’t think there’s anything strange about you, Dane. You seem like the type of man that takes his time with everything that he does—patient, reliable, and happy with routine.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “You think you have me pegged, hm?”

  “Maybe.” She smiled a little wider. “I’m pretty good at reading people.”

  “Well, I do enjoy routine. But I wouldn’t call myself patient.”

  “You did wait for me.”

  “I did, out of courtesy. But, I have to say, as I’ve gotten older, I find I get riled up a bit more easily than I used to. Again, I apologize for the way I spoke to you earlier today.” He shook his head and lowered his eyes. “Honestly, that wasn’t like me.”

  “Oh, please. Stop apologizing.” She sighed. “I could have been nicer myself. I wasn’t in a good mood to begin with.”

  “No? Something about paradise irks you?” He sat back as the waiter placed their plates in front of them.

  “No. It’s not that.” She stared down at the mound of rice and vegetables in front of her. “I’m trying something new on this vacation, and it’s a bit more difficult than I expected.”

  “What is it?” He slid his knife through his steak and inhaled the aroma. She could tell he was used to savoring things.

  “I came here to get to know myself again.” She laughed and poked at a string bean. “That probably sounds ridiculous.”

  “No.” He met her eyes across the table. “It doesn’t sound ridiculous to me at all. I suppose I’m doing the same thing in a way.”

  “Really?” She leaned closer to him. “It’s rather boring, isn’t it?”

  “That depends.”

  “Depends on what?”

  “On whether you enjoy your own company. I’ve come to enjoy mine quite a bit.”

  “I’m not sure that I’ve spent enough time alone with myself to know.” She shook her head. “I’ve never really thought about it, but I tend to keep myself pretty busy. I guess even when I’m by myself, I’m most often watching television or reading a book.”

  “I do those things too, but I like to take some time to think as well—think about my life, the things that have happened, the things that might happen. Maybe I spend a little too much time in my memories, actually.” He shrugged.

  She thought for a moment and then laughed. “I don’t think I have any memories I’d like to spend time in.”

  “Really?” His eyebrows rose. “Not one?”

  “I guess maybe some times from my childhood. To be honest, the time I felt the happiest was a time I’d rather not remember.”

  “Why is that?” He leaned forward a little, ignoring his steak.

  “Oh, you know, water under the bridge.” She scooped up some rice and avoided his eyes.

  She hadn’t intended for the date to become a confessional. Although she enjoyed meeting people, she never really shared much about herself with them. Dane had a way of penetrating her normal barriers without her even realizing it. When she looked back up, he was still focused on her.

  “You’re quite intriguing, you know that?”

  “Intriguing? I don’t think anyone has ever called me that before.” She grinned.

  “I wonder how someone gets so adept at hiding.” He took another bite of his steak.

  She nearly choked on a carrot and reached for her glass of wine. After taking a swallow she looked back at him. “Excuse me?”

  “I’m sorry, was that too blunt? I really am not good at conversation—I mean small talk.” He frowned. “I didn’t mean to offend you.”

  “You didn’t. I’d just like to know what you meant.” Her voice hardened some along the edges.

  “It’s just that you present yourself in a certain way, but I suspect that underneath, you’re quite different.”

  “And what if I’m not? What if what you see is what you get?” She narrowed her eyes.

  “I don’t believe it is. I’m pretty good at reading people too. I’ve spent a lot of time watching others instead of interacting. You put on a good show, but I doubt you’re as confident as you’d like people to believe.”

  She set down her fork and stared at him. “Yes, you are out of practice. I thought we were sharing dinner, not a therapy session.”

  “If I’m wrong, I’m wrong. It’s not as if there’s anything wrong with who you present yourself to be. You’re a stunning woman who grabs the attention of everyone around her—intelligent, determined. I just think that you’re also fairly detached. That’s not meant to be an insult. I think I’m only recognizing it because I’m pretty detached as well. Please, forgive me if I’ve wandered off into a difficult subject.”

  “It’s not difficult, it’s just not true.” She finished the last bite of her food.

  “You said yourself that you were here to get to know yourself.” He shrugged. “I was just following that lead.” He took the last bite of his steak.

  She sat back in her chair and studied him. Her temper was ruffled—not by his words, but by how perceptive he was. She wasn’t used to someone being able to see straight through her.

  “I guess you’re right about that. Would you like some dessert?”

  “No, thank you. I’m stuffed.” He looked away from her and she saw his hand going for his pocket—most likely for his wallet.

  “Don’t even try it. I said it’s my treat.”

  He sighed and put his hand back on the table. “If you insist.”

  “I do.”

  Once the bill was settled, Ella stood up from the table.

  Chapter 15

  Dane stood up from the table in the same moment that Ella did.

  “Thank you for dinner,” he said.

  “You’re welcome.” She offered a small smile.

  As he followed her toward the door, he felt a deep pull not to let her walk away. Something stirred in him that warned him that if he did he might never see her again. He couldn’t explain why exactly, but he wasn’t ready to let her go.

  She reached for the door to push it open.

  He caught her other hand with his. “Would you like to go for a walk? On the beach?”

  She looked back at him with a hint of surprise in her eyes. “Oh. I hadn’t planned on it.”

  “I thought you were the spontaneous type?” He looked into her eyes and gave her hand a light squeeze. “Or am I mistaken?”

  “Ah, you are clever, aren’t you?” She smiled. “Alright. I suppose a walk on the beach would be nice.”

  He felt a sense of relief that she’d agreed, but it was quickly followed by a sense of panic. What was it about this woman that h
ad him feeling snared? He couldn’t seem to shake free of it.

  A long wooden ramp led down to the water behind the restaurant.

  He noticed that she didn’t pull her hand away as they walked. He considered letting go, but thought it might be rude. Her hand in his seemed oddly natural, as if there didn’t need to be an explanation for it.

  The rush of the waves soothed his nerves, though he was sure his palm was sweaty.

  Not far from the ramp she kicked off her high heels. He watched as she revealed her bare feet and noticed that even her toenails were painted perfectly.

  “Are you going to take yours off?” She released her hand and reached up to pull the pins from her hair.

  He was mesmerized by the sight of her hair as it tumbled down along her neck and settled against the curve of her shoulders.

  “I hadn’t planned on it.” He blinked, startled by his own words.

  “It’s not a walk on the beach if your toes aren’t in the sand.” The warmth of her smile ignited a heat within him that surprised him.

  “Well, it’s not so easy for me—there are shoelaces and socks to think about.”

  “That’s your problem, Dane.” She winked at him. “You think too much. Keep your shoes on if you want, but you’ll be missing out.”

  He grinned as he bent down to untie his shoes. He eased one off, then the other. He tugged his socks off and tucked them into his shoes. Then he set his shoes neatly beside hers. Something about that visual—of his shoes beside hers—sparked a sense of anticipation for him.

  He didn’t have time to think about it. Ella grabbed his hand and charged straight for the water. Dane almost lost his balance as she ran.

  “Wait a minute, where are you taking me?”

  “Relax, Dane. Let’s have a little fun.”

  Caught up in the moment, he laughed and let her tug him toward the edge of the water. When she stuck her toes in, he grinned at the way she clung to him in reaction to the cooler temperature.

  “Not as warm as it was earlier, huh?” He released her hand and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. When he did, he felt her muscles tense. He opened his mouth to question it, but before he could, she’d waded further into the water and right out from under his arm.