Ghosts & Ashes

by F. T. Lukens

  Ollie nodded. He handed Ren a part from an air recycler. “I understand. If Pen were missing, I wouldn’t stop looking, either.”

  “I don’t know how I’ll get there if Rowan decides she won’t risk it.”

  “Rowan has two weaknesses,” Ollie said, rooting through the broken box. “Asher being one.”

  “And the other?”

  Ollie smiled. “Credits.”

  “Well, I can’t pay her.”

  “You let me handle it.”

  Ren looked up from his hands and met Ollie’s gaze. “You’ll help me?”

  Ollie knocked shoulders with Ren, and Ren fell sideways onto the cushions. Ollie laughed, then shrugged.

  “You’re family.”

  “You barely know me.”

  “I know you. I know you want to do the right thing and you want to protect the people closest to you, even if that means giving yourself up. And I know if Asher decides to expend energy and emotion on you, then you must be someone worthy of it.”

  Ren blushed and ducked his head. “Even if that emotion is anger?”

  “Anger isn’t the opposite of love. Indifference is. He wouldn’t be upset if he didn’t care for you.”

  Ren didn’t quite buy into Ollie’s logic, but he appreciated the sentiment, and he was buoyed by the fact that Ollie wanted to help him. He’d have to repay Ollie’s kindness, if he ever could. He sat up from his sprawl.

  “How do you know?”

  “Because I’m old and wise.”

  Ren scoffed. “You’re not old.”

  “I’m old enough to have a younger sister who is married and to have experienced lots of things, some even weirder than you. So trust me, okay?”

  “I do,” Ren said.

  “Good.” Ollie looked into the box. “I’ll go add this to your pile of sellable junk. And I’ll restock the box up here for you.”

  Ollie stood. He ruffled Ren’s hair, grinning down on Ren as an older brother would.

  “Don’t worry, Ren. I’m sure we’ll get everything sorted.”

  “Thanks, Ollie.”

  Ollie waved him off and lifted the box. He left the common area, and Ren leaned back on the couch.

  Lighter now that he had revealed everything to Rowan, Ren tipped his head back to stare at the ceiling. Sharing his burdens had eased the tightness in his chest and the tense line of his shoulders. However, he couldn’t shake Nadie’s prophecy. Somehow, Asher and Ren would cross each other, and Ren didn’t want to believe it would be intentional, but Rowan confirmed his fears. Asher had lost his chosen family, his purpose. That would be difficult to get over, even if the Corps proved to be as sinister as Ren believed.

  * * *

  Ren’s quarters were as he had left them. The blanket was halfway off his bed, trailing on the floor. A pile of clothes in a corner needed to be washed. His sparse belongings were on the shelf, and his pillow was a misshapen lump on the bunk.

  He reached into his jacket and pulled out the crumpled picture he’d found in his family home. Amazed it had lasted through the time on the planet, Ren smoothed it out on the top of his dresser. The cheap comic book Ren had taken from the remnants of Liam’s room hadn’t fared well. The pages were bent and the ink had bled, but he set it next to the picture.

  Ren toed off his boots and jumped on the bed, shoved his face into the pillow, and inhaled its familiar scent. It wasn’t until he was wrapped in the blanket and staring up at the picture Jakob had drawn that he realized how much he had missed his bed.

  He missed Jakob, too. The sharp pang of loss made him gasp as he thought of his friend, but at least Jakob was with Sorcha and Ezzy. The three of them would be okay as long as they looked after each other. He clung to that hope.

  Ren was half-asleep when his door opened. He sat up, startled, as Millicent walked into the room. Her long hair hung in limp strands to the small of her back. Her feet were bare as she picked her way into the room, toes sliding along the floor, always connected to the ship. Her eyes were large and faintly glowing, and she stared at Ren.

  “A knock would have been polite,” Ren said.

  She tilted her head, watching him. Her lips were pale and chapped, and Ren watched her with narrowed eyes. He gripped his pillow with fingers curled tight in the fabric.

  “Millicent?”

  “The ship missed you,” she said.

  “I missed the ship.”

  She swayed where she stood; the hem of her dark dress brushed her ankles. “You were disconnected. I couldn’t find you in the wires, but you’ve returned. Do you feel it? How the systems longed for you?”

  Ren pressed one hand to the hull. “When I came back on board.”

  She took a step closer to him and then another. She pressed her face to Ren’s neck and inhaled.

  Ren tensed and sat still as stone, unsure how to respond. He was used to her being odd, but this was… this was above her usual level of weirdness.

  “Millie?”

  “You smell like dust. Like planet.”

  Ren scooted back, uncomfortable, and she followed, her knees making indents on the mattress. “I showered on the drift,” he said.

  “You don’t belong with the dust. You belong among the stars. In the ship. In the wires. Free in the circuits.” She hovered over him, straddling his legs, her hands on his chest.

  “Um… this is weird and inappropriate.”

  “There you are!” Penelope’s voice was loud, and Ren sagged in relief.

  “Pen!”

  She entered the room, and Lucas popped his head around the door frame. His red hair stuck up everywhere; his complexion was even paler than usual. Ren had never been more relieved to see the goggles on Lucas’s head and Penelope’s unimpressed expression.

  Penelope gently took Millicent by the bicep and pulled her off. “Now, now, Millicent. That’s not polite.”

  Ren mouthed a thank you to Penelope as she guided Millicent away.

  “Are you okay, Ren?” Lucas asked.

  He cleared his throat. “Yeah,” he said, his voice coming out far higher than he would’ve liked. “What’s going on?”

  “She’s been a little out of sorts since you left,” Penelope said, smiling tightly. “It’s been a challenge.”

  “Yeah. Thanks for leaving me with her for those first few days,” Lucas said, also wearing a forced smile. “It was a laugh a minute.”

  Penelope shot him a harsh look with her dark eyes narrowed. “Are you going to bring it up constantly? Because we’ve apologized. Several times.”

  “And you’ll continue to apologize, because it was quite a traumatic experience.” Lucas kept his frozen smile, but twin spots of red appeared on his cheeks.

  Ren didn’t want to know.

  Millicent blinked for the first time since she had entered Ren’s room. She looked around. “How did I get in here?”

  Penelope’s expression softened. “Oh, dear.”

  Millicent’s gaze found Ren and she smiled the little half-smile she usually wore. “You’re back.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Welcome home.” Her smile became sharper and knowing, and a chill worked down Ren’s spine.

  “Ren must be tired. Let’s leave him be until dinner.” Penelope tugged on Millicent and pushed her out of the room. Penelope shared a wide-eyed, exasperated look with Ren before stepping from the room.

  “Glad you’re back, Ren,” Lucas said, waving.

  “Thanks. Me, too.”

  Ren stood and crossed the room and closed the door behind the trio. He engaged the lock, though it wouldn’t stop Millicent if she wanted to come in again.

  What had happened while he was gone? What had pushed Millicent to be stranger than ever?

  He flopped onto his bed and stared up at the picture. Ren closed his eyes and relaxed into th
e bunk. There were so many things to figure out—Liam and Crei and Vos and Millicent. Asher. Ren didn’t have the energy, and let his mind and power drift until he fell asleep.

  * * *

  “Weeds, you are a hard person to get in touch with. It’s easier when you’re connected to your own power.”

  The area was low-lit, and Ren squinted. The floors were metal as were the walls. The only light came from tech in the ceiling. Ren could see a shadow in front of him and walls to the sides, and when he looked behind him, he found another wall. He couldn’t discern a door.

  “Where am I?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Liam?” Ren stepped forward. The light overhead followed him; the darkness receded as he walked, as if fleeing from his footsteps.

  A few more paces, and Liam appeared in front of him. He was fair-skinned and freckled; his red hair was slicked back as though he’d been swimming in the lake.

  “Hey,” Liam said, a smile breaking over his face. “You look awful. Seriously. When was the last time you ate anything? Or had a haircut?”

  “You look the same.”

  “Well, I’m a projection. I’m letting you see what I want you to.”

  “Are you saying you’re not well?”

  “I honestly don’t know.”

  Ren crossed the space between them. He brushed his fingers over Liam’s hand, and he felt solid, corporeal. This wasn’t a program like Vos, and Ren looked around and reached out with his star to find the trick. But there was nothing. No tech. Even the light in the room didn’t respond to him.

  “Is this real?”

  “It’s a dream.”

  “You’re in my dream?”

  Liam smiled. “Yeah. It’s kind of my thing.”

  Ren’s eyes widened. “It’s your power. Your star. You can enter dreams?”

  Hands in his pockets, Liam shrugged. “I’m still figuring it all out.”

  Ren laughed. “Me, too.”

  “Yeah, I’ve heard a little about a powerful star host who saved a drift. It figures; you finally leave home, and the first thing you do is save people. Good job there, bro.”

  “You heard about that?”

  “Oh, yeah,” Liam said smiling. “You were all the talk.”

  Ren laughed, giddy, relieved. “All this time I’ve been searching for you, and you’ve been coming to me in my dreams. Why couldn’t I figure it out?”

  “You’re an idiot, that’s why.”

  Ren laughed again. He marveled. Their environment was a mixture of real and unreal. The metal of the floor was cool on his bare feet, but the light and the shadows moved oddly. He breathed, but couldn’t smell anything.

  Giving into impulse, Ren closed the gap between him and Liam and grabbed Liam in a tight hug. Liam gasped and laughed and returned the embrace. He was real. He was real. After a long moment, they disengaged.

  Ren wiped at his eyes. “Where are you?”

  At the question, Liam dropped his gaze and scuffed his shoe on the floor. “I don’t know.”

  “But you knew you weren’t at the lake? On Erden?”

  “Yeah, I knew I wasn’t there. I’m not home. But the people who took me have given me no indication where I am.”

  Anger swelled in Ren. “Took you?”

  “You didn’t think I ran away from Erden on my own, did you? I’m not you. I didn’t want to leave, but I didn’t hide well enough apparently.”

  Ren bristled and reached for his star. He found nothing, no conduit for his power. He was useless. He deflated, shoulders drooping. “Are you okay? Have they made you do anything?”

  Liam’s face went red. “Weeds, Ren. You weren’t ever this protective at home.”

  “I didn’t have to be. Now, answer the question.”

  “It’s okay. I have a room, a bed, and I get three meals a day. But I can’t leave. I’ve gone into people’s dreams and gathered information from their subconscious. It’s not been all that bad. I mean, it’s not what I would’ve chosen to do, but you know, in the grand scheme.” Liam shrugged again.

  “Do you want to leave?”

  “Yes.” The sound was an urgent gasp. “Yes. I want to go home.”

  Ren didn’t tell Liam about how home wasn’t there any longer, or about their parents, or their village. It wasn’t the time.

  “Can they hear this? Can they see me?”

  “They monitor me, so probably.”

  Ren looked around the room and focused on the light. Even though it didn’t respond as real tech would, that didn’t mean he couldn’t posture. He allowed his star to flood him and let his eyes glow blue. His power burned and pulsed in him. He clenched his hands and imagined the tendrils of electricity dripping from him, down his limbs, lighting up his bones.

  “I’m coming for my brother,” he said. “Understand? I’m coming, and you will not be able to stop me. I will destroy anyone who stands in my way.”

  “Weeds, Ren. Dramatic much?”

  Ren turned back to Liam, and Liam took a step back, his face paling even further.

  “I’m going to find you and free you.”

  Liam swallowed; his throat bobbed. “I think they are counting on that.”

  “Good. I want the challenge.”

  Liam nodded and wiped at his eyes. “Okay. Okay. I look forward to leaving. Stars, when did you get so scary? The only fight you were ever in was when Zeke pelted us with snowballs, and even then we ran away.”

  Ren pulled back. He packed away the power and blinked. “That better?”

  “Yes.” Liam’s voice shook. “Stars, Ren.”

  Ren patted Liam’s shoulder. “They can’t stop me.”

  “I should go. I need to go before the other one shows up.”

  “Huh? Other?”

  The light overhead flickered, and Liam started to fade. “I’ll see you around, big brother. Don’t do anything too stupid.”

  “Liam? Wait! Can you come back?

  Liam waved and said something, but he faded too quickly for Ren to hear.

  * * *

  Ren woke up with the sheets tangled around his legs and sweat slicking his hairline, but there were no alarms. Nothing blared. No one pounded at his door. He wasn’t trying to kill the crew. That was a bonus.

  He pushed up to sitting and checked ship’s time. He had napped for a few hours, though his interaction with Liam had been only a few minutes long, and he hadn’t missed dinner. He had seen Liam. Liam was alive. Liam could contact him. Liam was okay, if imprisoned. And Ren was going to find him and save him. They would be family again. Ren was even more determined to get to Crei.

  His stomach growled. Ren sniffed his shirt. He didn’t smell like dirt, but he had time for a quick shower anyway—probably for the best.

  12

  “I got us work,” Ollie said, shoveling food into his mouth. He addressed the group around a bite of casserole.

  “That’s great!” Lucas said, full of false cheer. He nodded to Penelope; his goggles slipped a little to the side. “I love work.”

  Rowan raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. The group had gathered around the scarred table in the mismatched chairs. Millicent ate from the pink chipped plate that everyone else avoided, except she didn’t really eat, but stared at her mass of noodles and sauce. She delicately picked up her bread and took a small bite.

  Asher sat at his usual place with his shoulders hunched up around his ears and his elbows on the table. He didn’t wear his uniform, and the stretched collar of his shirt slipped down to reveal a peek at the color of his ruined tattoo. Ren gulped at the sliver of skin, scar, and ink. He grabbed his drink and guzzled it, looking away. Water ran down his chin, and when he set the cup down and wiped his mouth with his sleeve, everyone stared.

  “What?”

  “Anyway,” Rowan said, set
ting down her fork. She tented her fingers. “What is this work and where is it taking us?”

  “Cargo run. Taking tech to Crei.”

  Ren snapped his head up. Millicent’s head swiveled, and she stared at Ollie with her wide, unnatural eyes faintly glowing. Asher stiffened and lifted his head slowly, and Ren felt his hot gaze on the side of his face before Asher ducked back down. He idly moved the crust of his bread in a puddle of sauce.

  “Do you think that is wise?” Asher said, his voice clipped. “I hear there might be political unrest there.”

  Rowan dabbed her mouth with her napkin, her lips were pressed into a thin line, as her face slowly turned red. She flicked her braid over her shoulder. Her expression was difficult to read, but from the way Ollie watched her, Ren guessed that Ollie hadn’t alerted Rowan to his plan. But she wasn’t going to say that, not in front of the rest of the crew. Not in front of Asher.

  She ignored Asher’s question. “What’s the take?”

  Ollie held up the credit chip in his fingers. “Half paid for already. We get the rest when we get there. I already have the coordinates.”

  Rowan’s eyebrows twitched. “Well then, since we’ve already been paid.”

  “I don’t want to go,” Millicent said. “I left there.”

  Asher stood; his chair scraped across the floor. He dropped his napkin and left the room without a word.

  “Well,” Lucas said, “it seems we have dissension.”

  “I’m the captain. I’ll say what jobs we take and where we go.” Rowan’s words were in response to Lucas, but they were for everyone.

  Ollie had overstepped on Ren’s behalf, and Ren wouldn’t ever be able to repay him.

  “No argument here, Captain,” Lucas said, holding up his hands. “I think it’s a great idea. Another planet. Wow! Who would have thought? More green things.”

  “You’re overselling it, honey,” Penelope said quietly. “But yes, great. Work is good. Credits are good.”

  Rowan’s eyes narrowed.

  “I don’t want to go,” Millicent said again.

  Penelope patted her hand. “It’ll be all right. We’ll all be there. Even Ren. Right?”

  “Oh, yes, sure. Yes.” He sounded awkward to his own ears. “I’m along for the ride.”