Crazy In Love

by Yoshe

  Chapter 28

  Brandi made the trip to Rikers the next morning, which was miserable. All the things that she never paid any attention to were so annoyingly distracting that she almost lost her mind on the visit bus to Shamari’s facility. There were women with uncontrollably crying babies and attention-seeking, wanna-be gangster boos who made most visitors coming to see their loved ones in Rikers look bad with their loud, shit-talking asses. Brandi rolled her eyes in her head and prayed that her old self wouldn’t rear its ugly head. It wouldn’t have been a pretty sight and her freedom would be compromised if it did.

  When she walked on the visit floor, Sean had a smile on his face but Brandi could not muster up the strength to return the smile. She walked past him and plopped in the seat that she was assigned to, watching Sean make his way toward her with a look of concern.

  Suddenly, Brandi saw the gates opening. She watched Officer Cruz walking over to Sean. She whispered something in his ear that stopped him in his tracks. Brandi watched the woman walk back out of the gate and back onto her post inside of the control room. Sean never managed to get over to Brandi after that. She silently wondered what that was all about.

  Shamari marched toward his mother, not noticing the look on her face until he was seated. Brandi held her head up, with Shamari seeing that her eyes were red and puffy. He wanted immediate answers, answers that Brandi couldn’t give at that moment.

  “Ma, what’s goin’ on? Why are you lookin’ like that?” he asked, rubbing her arm.

  Brandi sighed. “Shaki, your baby was born last night. A boy, seven pounds and nine ounces,” she replied.

  Shamari clapped his hands. He turned to another inmate and told him the good news. The inmate congratulated him.

  “Oh, yeah, I got my baby boy! I gotta get outta here, Ma, I got my son in New York!” Brandi shook her head and Shamari looked confused. “Ma, what’s goin’ on? Why you . . . How’s Amber?”

  All of a sudden, Brandi just broke down in tears. “Shaki. Shaki, she didn’t make it. They couldn’t save her but—”

  Shamari pushed back his seat. “Wait, Ma, what the hell are you sayin’? You’re sayin’ my girl is dead? Tell me, Ma, are you sayin’ that Amber is dead?” Brandi nodded her head. “Noooooo, Ma. She can’t be dead . . . she just came to see me. She was my girl . . . my son’s mother . . . I was gonna marry her . . . I was, noooo!”

  Suddenly, Shamari stood up. He picked up the seat he was sitting in and threw it. The chair didn’t go far and barely missed hitting the officers sitting at the desk. Sean ran over to where they were and immediately began to try to calm Shamari down. Shamari punched Sean in the face, barely missing his nose.

  Brandi began screaming, as she watched an impending melee unfolding before her eyes. She ran to grab her son but some female officers grabbed her to try to calm her down as Sean and several other officers restrained her son. Yadi pressed the alarm and one minute later the response team entered the visit area with vests and batons. Other inmates joined the fracas and officers had to prevent visitors from getting hurt.

  Shamari and the other detainees were led out of the visit area after five minutes and two waves of officers had to respond there. The inmates were immediately taken to the intake area and thrown into holding pens. They were to be held there until further notice, as per the warden.

  Brandi was removed from the visit floor to the waiting area, when all of sudden, Yadi came out of the control room. Brandi thought she was imagining things when she saw Yadi watching the whole scene go down with a smirk plastered on her face. Unfortunately, she wasn’t imagining.

  Watching Brandi get removed from the area gave Yadi a feeling of self-satisfaction. She shrugged her shoulders and went back on her post, delighted that Brandi was not going to be allowed back on Rikers Island for a while. Maybe then Yadi could work on having Sean to herself.

  Yadi walked back into the control room with her head held high. Vanita was worried about her friend. The day Devin came over, she was sure that she spotted Yadi’s Maxima parked on the block, which was the reason she had let Devin in the house in the first place. Upon discovering that Yadi wasn’t home, Vanita couldn’t get rid of him fast enough.

  “Wow! Did you see all that? I wondered what made Wallace wild out! His mother was about to lose her—” Yadi cut Vanita off. She could care less about Brandi and her loser son.

  “Vanita, could you pass me some count slips?” Yadi asked. Vanita handed her the slips.

  “Yadi, are you all right?” Vanita asked. Yadi looked at her and laughed.

  “Why, of course, Nita, why do you ask?” she replied.

  Vanita flopped in a large armchair. “I dunno. Why didn’t you stay at my house the other night? Where did you go?”

  Yadi turned around with her back facing Vanita. She didn’t want her to see her expression. She put the total number of inmates in the visit area on the count slip.

  “I went to a friend’s house.” Yadi smirked, knowing that Vanita would be curious about her “friend.” Truth was, Yadi finally broke down and went to her parents’ house on Staten Island.

  Vanita frowned. “What friend? Sean?” Yadi swung around but managed to control her temper.

  “A friend, Vanita. A friend, okay?” Vanita left the topic alone.

  “Oh, okay. Umm, are you comin’ to my house tonight?” Vanita asked. Yadi ignored her and Vanita went back to working.

  Yadi’s insecurities and paranoia were beginning to take control of her already unstable mind. Yadi suspected that Vanita always thought that she was better than her and was secretly envious of her relationship with Devin. She was imagining Vanita wanting Devin for herself, which was the reason she never told Yadi about the passes he made at her. Yadi laughed to herself as she thought about how an attractive, single woman like Vanita could be envious of her life. What Yadi didn’t realize is that she was only imagining Vanita wanted Devin.

  Vanita couldn’t take it anymore. “Yadi, what’s goin’ on between us? You’re not talkin’ to me? Did I do somethin’ to you?” Vanita asked, with a confused look on her face.

  Yadi put her hand up and Vanita stopped mid-sentence. “If you want Devin, you can have him. And I should have seen it comin’. You always been a secretive bitch, Vanita, so this shit ain’t much of a stretch for an undercover ho like yourself, now is it?”

  Vanita cleared her throat. “Now, listen, Yadira, there is no need to call me out my name, all right! I don’t know what the hell you’re talkin’ about!”

  “Okay, he’s a piece of shit, haven’t you been listenin’ to me? Haven’t you heard me all these years? He knows, he knows that you are my only close friend! He’s tryin’ to use you against me. Plus, you never told me how he comes onto you! I dunno what to say about you, Nita. I always thought that you were a controllin’ bitch, but man, I wouldn’t have ever believed that you would keep this shit from me!”

  Vanita frowned. “Yadi, what are you talkin’ about? What did Devin tell you?”

  Yadi laughed. “He didn’t tell me nuthin’! Neither did you. You couldn’t tell me that he tried to make a pass at you? What, you was savin’ him for a rainy day?”

  Vanita stood up. “I dunno what you talkin’ about, Yadi, because I would never do anything to hurt you. Devin is no one that I would even consider havin’ in my area, your man or not. If he made a pass at me, don’t you think I could shut him down without havin’ to drag you into it?”

  Yadi laughed again. “I dunno, Vanita. I can’t say who I can trust these days. Everybody is screwin’ everybody. You could have been fuckin’ Devin all along without me knowin’ a damn thing.”

  “Now, wait a minute! What kind of lowdown, cheap hussy you’re talkin’ about ’cause you’re not talkin’ about me! I been there for you through thick and thin and you have the nerve to jump in my face about Devin? I could never stoop so low and sleep with my friend’s man behind her back, knowin’ how you feel about him and that you tried to kill your . . .” Vanita stopped
.

  Yadi’s bottom lip began to tremble and Vanita got up and walked off the post. Vanita had reminded her of how fragile she was but the thought went right over Yadi’s head. After shedding a few tears and feeling sorry for herself for a brief moment, Yadi regained her momentum, realizing that Vanita had left her in the control room to fend for herself.

  Later on that night, the loud ringing of her house phone awakened Brandi. She came home and drugged herself, falling into a stupor after taking a few sleeping pills she had in her medicine cabinet. Without bothering to look at the caller ID, Brandi answered the phone.

  “What? What is it?” Brandi managed to yell into the phone.

  “It’s me, Brandi. It’s Sean.”

  Brandi paused. “What the fuck do you want, Sean? Why are you calling me?” she cried out.

  “Look, before you curse me out, I was just callin’ to give my condolences. I heard that your grandson’s mother died. I, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry.”

  “You are sorry, Sean. My grandbaby’s mother is fine in heaven. She was an angel. You, on the other hand, are full of shit. And tell your girlfriend, Miss Fucking Cruz, that I will bust her ass all up and through Rikers or wherever if I see her ass again!”

  Sean sighed. “Brandi, she ain’t my girl. She’s a coworker, a friend.”

  “A friend? A friend? She isn’t your friend, Sean! Don’t you see what she’s doing? She wants us to have conflict, Sean. She is a manipulative, possessive maniac and yet you keep having sex with her! What is wrong with you men?”

  “Brandi, I’m not fuckin’ Yadi.”

  “Stop with the bullshit, Sean. You’re still fucking her. I know. She stopped you from coming to my table yesterday. I know she did. And guess what? You didn’t come! I was going through it at that moment and I needed you. You didn’t even come over to speak to me.”

  Sean was speechless. That day, Yadi waltzed her way over to him and told him that if he as so much talked to Brandi on that visit floor, she was going to go straight to the warden’s office and tell him that he fraternizes with visitors. Now Yadi was holding his secret over his head and he was stuck in a difficult situation.

  “Brandi, I’m sorry but Yadi threatened to tell the warden about our relationship with each other. That was the reason I didn’t come over and speak to you. If you don’t want me to call you, I won’t. I just wanna let you know that I’m not gonna press charges against Shamari for hittin’ me. Anyway, take care and my deepest sympathy for your loss.”

  Brandi hung up the phone. She cried herself back to sleep, thinking about Shamari and her motherless grandson.

  Chapter 29

  A few hours after the chaos in visits, Shamari was waiting in the intake area of the jail. His back was killing him from sleeping on the hard bench in the holding cell, which was located in the intake area. He looked around at the other inmates and they didn’t budge, as he was being escorted out of the holding pen by the officer. When Shamari stepped out the cell, a CO with plainclothes on put cuffs on him and led him into the counsel visit area, located in the back of intake. Once inside, one cuff was removed and one hand was cuffed to an iron cuff bar that was on the brick wall. The CO sat in a seat across from him.

  “Mr. Wallace,” the CO began, “I see that you are a busy man.”

  Shamari looked at the balding Puerto Rican man as if he had two heads. “What? Man, I ain’t got time for this shit!” Shamari replied, with an attitude.

  “Well, Mr. Wallace you don’t have any other choice. You are being re-arrested for assaulting an officer.”

  Shamari sucked his teeth. “Fuck is you talkin’ about, man? Them fuckin’ police fucked me up! You see my swollen face, man? I’m suin’ y’all ass up in here!”

  “I’m CO Rivera. G. Rivera. Your ass is in some hot water. You think that’s all you are in here for, puta?”

  “Who are you callin’ a puta, nigga? I’ll spit in your fuckin’ face!” CO Rivera jumped up and held Shamari’s face very tight. He loved assholes like Shamari; he would fuck them up all the time and get away with doing it. After all, there were no witnesses.

  “You fuckin’ maricon! I will rip your fucking lips off your face and feed those shits to my pit bull for dinner, pendeja!”

  Shamari couldn’t move and was struggling to get loose from the strong grasp of the muscular CO. He finally got himself under control and Rivera let his face go. He mushed Shamari back in his seat. Shamari saw that he was serious.

  Rivera straightened himself out and looked at Shamari. “You like to put your hands on officers, I see. Also, I’m hearing through the grapevine you’re into cuttin’ mothafuckers, too.”

  Shamari held his head down. “I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about, CO.”

  Rivera chuckled. “Born from Five North got a nasty little scratch on his face. Heard it was from you. Little get back from the cut he gave you on your neck.” Rivera pulled back the collar to the jumper that Shamari wore. “Hmmm, you wanna tell me about that?”

  Shamari sucked his teeth. “I ain’t tellin’you shit.” Rivera shook his head. He leaned back in the seat and took a good look at Shamari. Shamari was scared to death. Rivera had been doing this for almost twenty years and he knew when an inmate was nothing but a scared punk. Shamari fit that description to a tee.

  “Well, Mr. Wallace. You’re being moved to the Bing. When you go to your hearing, they can tell you exactly how many days you’re gonna get.”

  “Y’all can’t take me to the Bing now! That shit just happened a couple of hours ago!”

  “Well, the god damn chief says that we can, motherfucker, and we are! You are a threat to this facility and as much as I don’t want to believe that shit, it is what the fuck it is! Your ass is going to the Bing and all your shit is there in a nice cell waiting for you! So have a great vacation! Oh yeah, see you in court!”

  Rivera got up and walked out of the area, leaving Shamari cuffed to the cuff bar. A few seconds later, two Bing escort officers came to re-cuff Shamari and escort him to the Bing. He was put into solitary confinement without further incident. Shamari looked at the four walls in his cell. He thought about Amber and screamed to the top of his lungs.

  On Rikers Island, solitary confinement, better known as “the Bing,” was like a jail within the jail. Inmates were locked in their cells for twenty-three hours a day and were mandated by the state of New York to be allowed out of their cells for one hour of recreation. Bing inmates had to be escorted in handcuffs everywhere they went, whether it was to visits or the law library or even to the shower. They were labeled as threats to their facility, locked down for various infractions, such as assault on staff members, slashings, and sexual offenses. There was no TV, no commissary snacks for the inmates, and they were allowed showers only three times a week.

  Phone calls were another story. They were authorized to only make one personal and one legal phone call a week, which caused many inmates to complain. The officers who worked there were stressed out, overworked, and underappreciated, having to endure constant verbal and physical abuse from the inmates who were plum crazy from looking at the four walls of their cells for months at a time. Female staff were subjected to offensive sexual gestures and comments from undersexed convicts who had no respect for themselves or for women in general. It was a world of its own and the Bing inmates’ shouts of madness could be heard throughout the Island.

  Shamari sat in his cell and listened to the banging and the yelling from the other inmates in the Bing housing area. He walked to his cell window and noticed they were doing the P.M. feeding, which was good because he was starving. There were two tiers and there were two COs doing the feeding with pantry workers in tow to assist. They pushed the food wagon around from cell to cell, which had warm food trays stored inside of it. On top of the tray, there was a large juice container. It contained the “murderous” fruit juice that inmates hated to love. It was never proven, but Rikers inmates claimed that drinking the fruit juice made them sterile.


  Shamari’s cell was located on the top tier and he watched the female officer doing the feeding. She would open cell slots, as the pantry worker put additional items on the already prepared trays. She filled up cups with the forbidden juice as well, closing the slots once the process was completed. Occasionally, an inmate would try to hold her up by asking stupid questions, purposely prolonging the feeding for the inmates on Shamari’s side of the tier.

  “Yo’, son, get off her fuckin’ bra strap so that she can feed us, mothafucker!” shouted the guy in the cell next to Shamari’s. “Damn, we hungry over here, too, nigga!”

  “Shut the fuck up, faggot!” shouted an inmate from across the tier. “You gonna eat, muhfucka! Feenin’, starvin’-ass nigga!”

  “You damn right!” the nextdoor neighbor retorted. “Your ass wanna sap rap and shit, do that shit some other time, nigga! Food gonna get cold!”

  “As long as I got my warm food, nigga, I don’t give a fuck about nobody else’s food gettin’ cold! Y’all niggas ain’t shit to me!”

  Shamari shook his head, embarrassed at the spectacle the inmates were making of themselves in front of the female officer, who seemed oblivious to the verbal jabs between the inmates. All of a sudden, Shamari’s nextdoor neighbor started banging on the metal door.

  “Yo’, Miss Jones, you bitch, what the fuck is you doin’? You can’t do the fuckin’ feedin’ for runnin’ your mouth!” he shouted.

  Shamari pressed his face against the cell window as CO Jones’s scent seeped into the crack of his cell door. She was at the cell next door with the food wagon.

  “First of all, Tucker, I ain’t gonna be too many of your bitches, you hear me?” she exclaimed. “I’m the one doin’ this up in here so you need to calm your bitch-ass down if you wanna get fed!”