by J. D. Lander
When Connor finally entered his home, she rose from the couch and slowly approached him as if she were seeing an illusion. His hair was messy, his socks were dirty, and his legs were scratched. He had no shirt on and was in his boxer shorts. He looked like he had been living in the woods. As if he had some psychotic break and ran off. She stretched her arms out and laid her hands onto his shoulder. “Never do that again.” Her voice trembled as she fought the urge to cry. She pulled him closer and hugged him. In her mind she said I love you, but not aloud. Love was a word they didn’t use in their household. She couldn’t put a specific memory to the time they stopped saying it. Blurriness surrounded the situation. Did John say it would make their son weak?
For the first time in a long time, Connor witnessed his mother displaying emotion. He often wondered if she really cared or if she was simply carrying out her responsibilities as a mother. He felt at home in her warm arms and tried to hold onto the feeling as knew he would soon feel distant all over again.
Connor’s life settled down after he repeated the very poorly detailed events of his whereabouts many times for police and his father. The police had shown him a photograph of a young guy that had been in their house. He had never seen him before and thought it was very odd for a moment. He would later get the full story from Jacob.
PART III
CHAPTER 21
The Reservoir
Jacob could be there for Connor now in ways that Adam had never been. Connor could sleep through the night, feeling protected. Inside his very soul he could feel the presence and pull of Jacob. With Adam’s world gone from existence, the Devil would have no reason to seek him, or so he believed. Each day he woke up with renewed energy and excitement. He wondered if this was how everyone else felt. Was something wrong with him before that was now fixed? He knew he should be sad that Adam was gone, but the freedom that came with his death was intoxicating.
The close bond that Jacob and Connor now shared wasn’t immediate. The foundation had been laid in the past, however its growth started when Jacob took Connor to the reservoir on the mountain. Connor had hiked past it many times on school trips but never imagined actually swimming in it. Jacob stopped by the local deli and picked them up hoagies before he arrived at Connor’s house. Connor carried everything in his backpack and they headed out for their hike. The sun was high in the sky and Connor could feel the heat radiating off of his skin by the time they reached the reservoir. On their way there they avoided talk of the past and focused on the beauty that surrounded them. They found a large rock that hovered over the water. Connor approached the edge cautiously and estimated the drop was about 15 feet to the calm water below. They sat on the sunny rock and began to eat their hoagies.
Connor heard a rustle in the leaves and looked to his right. A small snake was slithering across the warm rock. Connor jumped to his feet immediately in fear. Jacob laughed. “After all you’ve been through, you’re scared of a little snake?”
“I’m not scared, I just don’t want it touching me,” Connor replied defensively. Then he began to laugh at himself. Jacob stood up and asked Connor if he wanted to go for a dip in the water. Connor looked down at the water and thought it looked dirty and, even worse, could be hiding water snakes. Jacob took his shirt off to reveal his toned chest and abdomen. His socks and shoes followed. For the first time, Connor noticed Jacob’s body in a way that made him slightly uncomfortable. Jacob headed to the edge of the rock.
Connor slowly took his socks and shoes off, dreading the next few moments when he’d have to prove he wasn’t afraid of the drop or the water itself. He took his shirt off and crossed his arms over his un-toned stomach. He had never been super skinny, just average. Being average around Jacob made him feel self-conscious for some reason today. Jacob had, of course, a perfect body and may have never seen a non-angel’s body before. Connor imagined Adam probably used television actors as a framework when creating him. “Why are you holding your arms over your stomach?” Jacob questioned.
“Habit.” Connor replied rather quickly, having answered this question in his past.
“You don’t have to hide anything from me. I wouldn’t be hanging around you if I cared how much insulation you were carrying!” Jacob giggled.
“That’s not funny!”
“Lighten up! We all have flaws.” Jacob then proceeded to grab Connor’s arms and pull them off his stomach as Connor resisted.
“You’re invading my personal space!” Connor used a burst of energy to push Jacob back. Jacob stepped back a few steps to balance himself, and his foot ended up slipping off the rock. Connor saw him almost stable, looking into his eyes, then as if in slow motion he fell backwards. Connor held his breath, waiting to hear a splash, but no splash came. He walked slowly to the edge, hands now at his sides, shaking. He peered over the edge to see Jacob lying on his back, hovering in the air only a foot below, smiling.
“You look so worried! That look is priceless!” There were always moments like this when Connor would forget their past and the fact that Jacob and him were not like other people. Jacob was an angel. Connor watched as Jacob let himself fall into the water with a loud splash. Connor smiled and began to breath again as Jacob emerged from the water below. Jacob was playing with the Architect’s rules in a way Adam never had. Jacob broke them simply to have fun. Adam had never broken rules without a very specific purpose. “Now you try it!” Jacob yelled up to Connor.
Connor had never thought about having any other ability than seeing the lights. However, recently he had escaped the Devil by becoming immaterial and literally ran through a solid rock wall. There was no harm in trying. Connor jumped off the rock and suspended himself in the air. He briefly looked down at Jacob, smiled in disbelief, and then let himself fall. Breaking the Architect’s rule of gravity had been much easier than he had imagined. When he came to the water’s surface, he laughed because he hadn’t done something that insane ever before. “Swim to shore with me! I want to show you something,” Jacob shouted, already on his way. Connor swam behind him. Connor made his way completely out of the water while Jacob stood there patiently waiting. “If you think that trick was neat then you’re going to love this.” Jacob seemed to head back into the water but instead of entering the water he walked onto it, creating minute splashes with each step. “You can do it too. Just focus,” Jacob whispered, turning back to shore.
Connor put one foot out and it made a small splash and thud as it landed in the water. Jacob walked back to the water’s edge. “Here, take my hand.”
Connor reached out and grabbed Jacob’s damp hand. He tried again, and this time the water felt like Jell-O solidifying as each step landed. They walked out to the middle of the reservoir before Jacob let go of Connor’s hand. Connor didn’t realize how much he enjoyed the connection he felt to Jacob when holding his hand until Jacob let go. The breeze was gentle and cold as it scurried around their bodies. Connor suddenly pushed Jacob, who again lost his balance and concentration, because he landed in the water with a rather large splash. Connor knelt down on the water and offered him a hand to come back out of the water. Jacob took his hand but instead pulled Connor into the water.
They both laughed at their immaturity. Connor thought maybe he was taking life too seriously as he swam in place in the refreshing water. Jacob was swimming in front of him. Connor admired the way his wet hair looked slicked back. He pushed those feelings down inside of him and thought about the time Adam had tried to cure him. The scenario was rather difficult. He liked these feeling, but was ashamed of them, but also didn’t want to let them go. The guilt was overwhelming. He closed his eyes and felt the setting sun on his skin. Why couldn’t every day be like today? As he thought those words, he wondered if the Architect heard every thought.
When he opened his eyes, Jacob was right in his face. Connor was startled, his heart pounding in his chest. Jacob leaned forward and kissed his lips. Connor felt himself sink into the water, forgetting to swim in the moment. Jacob’s
arms grabbed onto him. Connor could feel himself rise in the water as droplets slid down his arms. He opened his eyes to find them standing waist deep in the water, still in the center of the reservoir. Suddenly, a voice could be heard from the nearby hiking trail. They both splashed into the water, their abilities thwarted by the Architect’s rule that no one could see them break the rules. Someone was about to see them.
Hikers on the shore waved briefly and moved on. “I better get you home before it gets too dark,” Jacob stated before swimming to shore. When they reached Connor’s door, Jacob planted one last kiss on him before heading off. “I’ll try to be back in a week. I’ve been away from the rest of them for too long. Don’t miss me too much!” Jacob yelled as he disappeared into the sky.
Alice sat on the floor of Adam’s room and looked up at him peacefully sleeping. In order to contact Connor, Alice decided to first create a mirror. Just as she had created life before, she used her hands to mold a mirror. The mirror created was simply a hand mirror with a golden tortuous frame. She then took a piece of her blue dress and infused it into the mirror, as it was from Earth. Then she began praying as she had done so many times in her past. As she willed God to hear her she placed her palms onto the mirror and released energy into it as she had done daily to help Adam heal. After a few moments, she opened her eyes and looked down into the mirror. Instead of her reflection she saw directly into Connor’s room. The room was dark but enough light shown through the window to reveal Connor’s outline in the bed, where he was sleeping. “Connor!” She cried out to him, half out of desperation to save Adam and half her desire to speak to her best friend.
Connor was startled awake by Alice’s voice and jumped out of bed, unsure of where the noise had come from or if it was merely a dream. He looked all around in the darkness. “Connor!” Alice spoke again. There was no mistaking the source this time. He looked into the mirror above his dresser to see Alice staring back at him. He approached the mirror slowly, still partially believing the situation was a dream.
“I missed you, Alice,” he whispered as he approached the mirror.
“I missed you too. I have news I need to tell you. Adam is ill…”
“Adam is alive?” Connor questioned in disbelief with a blank look on his face.
“Yes, but I don’t know what is wrong with him. He isn’t waking up,” she stated. Adam mumbled imperceptible words lowly behind her. Alice took her hands off the mirror as she turned to his bedside. The mirror immediately returned back to normal, reflecting Connor’s face in the dark bedroom. Connor had seen and heard enough to know Adam was, in fact, alive.
Adam slowly stood up from the bed and in a blinding blue momentary glow transformed his appearance to one well clothed and in good health. Alice was stunned by his seeming regeneration. Adam broke the silence. “I don’t need your help right now. I just need time to think.” Alice wondered about what he could need time to think about and knew he didn’t want her to reply. She had many questions that would have to wait. How long has he been healed for? What could he possibly take so long to reach a conclusion on? Why had he waited until this moment to wake up? “I need you to start rebuilding this world with Jenny. It has become a sad place in my absence.”
Alice immediately left the room and searched for Jenny, who she found sitting on the front porch. “Adam woke up,” Alice stated as she sat down next to Jenny. Jenny almost jumped out of her seat in excitement but settled down when she noticed Alice’s expression was not celebratory. “He wants us to start rebuilding. He said this place looks sad. I think he wants to be left alone for now. Something is on his mind. The funny part is, he doesn’t look sick. It’s like he was resting and waiting to wake up. He left us worried.” She turned to look at Jenny, who in the moment seemed more mature than her age. She grabbed her hand and they headed down the porch steps. “Let’s create some beautiful things for your brother to see when he comes outside.” Jenny smiled, excited by the idea.
The time was upon them to leave their sadness and worry so they could rebuild their world to what it once was. Perhaps if they started to rebuild, more souls would arrive, as none had come since the incident. “I’m going to make dragonflies and cattails by the lake!” Jenny shouted as she pulled away and ran toward the shoreline. Alice decided to start with flowers in front of the porch to bring cheer and add life to the house again.
Connor took his mirror of the wall and held his hands onto it. He willed it to show him Adam’s world. The ceiling stared back through the mirror. Connor decided he must inform Jacob of the news of Adam’s survival. He ran outside, closed his eyes, and willed Jacob to come to him. Knowing his arrival would not be immediate, Connor ran down the street to find a private place for Jacob to arrive. He expected Adam to soon follow, as he knew any strength he had would be used to meet again.
Connor found an empty roadway used to travel to the parking lot for hiking that no one used during the night. What a night for celebration! Connor stood below a streetlight, waiting in anticipation. Not long passed before Adam appeared in the center of the road. He was not smiling as Connor had imagined he would be. Was he still ill? Surely, architects can heal themselves? Connor chose to approach slowly instead of running toward him as he intended. Before he reached him, Adam began to speak.
“I can’t risk you getting hurt anymore. My world almost collapsed because I spent too much time in this one. My world was small when we first met but it had grown so much and so fast. It needs my energy to continue growing and the more I use here the more it takes from my world. First you were in danger, then the Earth was in danger. I don’t want to put my people at risk. I lost my family except for Jenny. They sacrificed themselves to help save my world.” Adam looked away from Connor as his voice faded. He wanted to appear strong but his eyes became glossy, revisiting the truth he had only processed while resting. “I do not know what happened to their souls, as they were not made from this Earth and my world did not yet have a Heaven. I imagine their souls are now intertwined with my world and that is the only thought that gives me peace.”
“I’m sorry for your loss.” Connor didn’t know what to say besides what he heard at funerals. No words could change the past or comfort an architect that knows more of things than he.
“I need to disconnect myself from this world and focus on my own.” Adam turned back to Connor. “You are a liability for me and once my world becomes big enough, I will no longer be able to exist in this form. To protect you, I have decided to take away the blue light you somehow managed to obtain and also your memories…”
“My memories?! You can’t take my memories! I just got you back. I want to spend what little time you have left here with you.” Connor stepped forward, wanting to hug him and change his mind. “I want to know what happened to you…”
Adam took a step backward to move out of reach. Connor fell to his knees and looked up at him with welling eyes. He reached out his hand for Adam to take, like a statue with no one intending on ever holding its hand. Adam continued to stare forward because looking down, he feared, would lead to him changing his mind. He knew what had to be done.
“I’ve become a different person since I met you. I don’t want to go back to the person I was,” Connor pleaded. “You promised me that I would go to your world when I die and see Alice again. I want to see Alice again. Don’t take her from me again…” His hands now rested on the pavement below and his position reminded him of the cave he not long ago wept in. Realizing he wasn’t going to be given a say in the matter, fear crept over him.”
Jacob, in the middle of a mission with Mary and Neil, felt Connor’s call to him grow stronger but now with the element of great fear. Chills came over him as he realized something was wrong and his departure could no longer wait. He was created to protect him and that would always be his number one mission. He must go to him. He signaled to his friends that he needed to go and raced off. Landing on the street near Adam and Connor, he wondered why the feeling was urgent if Adam w
as already there to protect him. Connor couldn't speak because he was so hysterical. “What’s going on here?” Jacob demanded.
“Stay back, Jacob. This is bigger than your feelings,” Adam responded. Jacob lunged forward like lightning to come between Connor and his own creator. A group of silver angels descended from the sky and encircled them. Two broke the circle and marched to Jacob, grabbing his arms on arrival. Overpowering him, they dragged him to the side with him squirming to break free the entire way.
“This is not your place,” Jacob heard an angel whisper in his ear.
“It’s for his own good, Jacob. He needs this to stay safe. We won’t need to protect him afterwards. You can be free too,” Adam seemed to try and explain, as if he didn’t want to make enemies with his first creation.
“You created me to protect him! Please, let me protect him! He protected me once. Please, let me do this! I’ll be responsible for him, please!” Jacob screamed. “Connor, what is he going to do to you?” He needed to know what he was about to witness.
“He wants to take my memories…” Connor’s voice was barely audible. He didn’t mention the removal of his blue light because it didn’t matter to him. The light wouldn’t change who he was but his memories were a part of him in a way that he knew he would never recover from once they were removed.
Adam approached Connor, who remained on his knees, trembling. How did it all come to this? Connor asked himself. Adam sluggishly reached his hand out as if hesitant about what he was about to do. He placed his hand on Connors forehead, his skin warm and soft. Connor looked up at him with blood shot eyes, unable to speak. The blue light within him started pooling in his body’s core and flowing out of his forehead into Adam’s hand. Jacob looked on at the beauty of the image and the horror of the act. The pain began to set in as Connor’s memories were ripped from his mind by their roots. Connor cried out in pain as Jacob collapsed into the angels' arms, exhausted from struggling. They released him as Adam neared the end and he fell to the ground.