by J. D. Lander
Adam removed his hand from Connor’s forehead and Connor toppled sideways to the pavement, as if the only thing keeping him upright was Adam’s hand. Adam disappeared almost immediately after completing his task. Jacob looked around at the now seemingly dark surroundings. The angels had also gone. Only Connor and him remained on the roadway under the streetlight. Jacob picked the now unconscious Connor up and walked with him down the road. Instead of taking him home, Jacob checked into the nearby motel, too fearful to take him home. Jacob laid Connor down gently and sat beside the bed in a chair. He needed to know what he would be like when he woke. To cover his tracks, Jacob disguised his voice as Connor’s and informed Connor’s mother that he would be spending the night at Jacob’s house.
Jacob wondered if Connor would feel close to him when he woke or if he would lose his connection with him. Their connection had grown from friendship to more and starting over the same result could not be guaranteed. He knew one thing, he loved Connor and this would not change that fact. All of the memories they bonded over were now absent from Connor. Would he be just another kid passing through Connor’s life? He had lost his specialness and his very reason for being in Connor’s life. He was now plain. No longer could he impress Connor by standing on water. Leaning his head on the bedside, he began to cry. “Please don’t forget me.”
The night seemed long. Connor moaned in pain, as if in some horrible dream. The memories were still rearranging themselves as his mind tried to make some sense of the fragments that remained. Memories of Jacob flying to his window turned to knocks on the door. Seeing Alice the time he died had given him a feeling of closure. Now, a void formed in his heart, missing Alice, feeling alone. The pain of his lack of self-confidence grew. He reverted back to the insecure boy he was before he met Adam as he slept. His only connection to the blue light that remained was the crying angel at his beside, but he was unaware of this fact.
Adam appeared back in his own bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed. He had molded himself after humans and with that molding came the original sin. Adam based everything off of humans. He struggled with the fact that he made himself part human, and now he carried the potential for evil in his heart. He felt like he had failed. He was not like the Architect that created Earth. He was not pure, so how could he ever be sure his decisions were the correct ones and not tainted? He made the mistake of copying someone else’s design. He is forever connected to Earth because he has a soul from Earth living in his world, and more will come once again. He could not start over. For the first time, he felt hate towards himself. He struggled to think of a way to purify himself just as he purified Connor but could not land on any feasible possibilities.
There were no stories of architects falling in love. Love was the only explanation for Connor having blue light. Architects did not model their worlds off of other architects’ worlds as he had done. He had lived in another architect’s world and fallen in love. Something he now assumed was probably forbidden because of the danger it caused. Balancing the love of one over the very lives of others was not something easily done or perhaps even possible. Adam’s heart felt broken, even though he felt he made the right decision, for everyone’s safety.
CHAPTER 22
Different
Alice sat in the grass by the lake creating bees to pollinate the flowers. When she first began creating bees, she thought about removing their stingers but settled on the idea they had a purpose she was unaware of. She had restored the area immediately around the house to its former state. With each rumble she felt inside her cusped hands, she felt the pain from the loss of Adam’s family members fade a little. She had no explanations for what had occurred. There weren’t many of them left in Adam’s world, and loneliness set in as no chatter could be heard in the distance. Originally, she had felt powerful with the ability to create life and be a part of something so large. Seeing it all destroyed so quickly and fearing for her life poisoned those feelings.
Adam approached from behind her and settled in the grass next to her. He explained what had happened up until his almost demise. At the time, he wasn’t aware he was destroying his own world. The moment he regained consciousness back in his world, he knew what he had done without even opening his eyes.
“I’m not sure why I wasn’t destroyed. I didn’t even get close to the architect causing the purple light. I charged into the light and my body began to feel like it was getting hot. Then the light started to get brighter and I could barely see anything. I thought I was getting closer until everything went white. Then my body felt like it was on fire as an excruciating pain overtook me. That was the last thing I remembered before I woke up in the bed one night. Everyone was asleep. I rested until I had grieved and gained enough energy to feel the Architect’s world. I was afraid it would be gone and I would have had to tell you that I had not only failed my family but I failed you.”
“What did you do when you went back?” Alice questioned.
“I checked on Connor and Jacob. How did you know I left?” Adam felt like he was caught in a lie and looked down at his hands.
“Jenny busted in your room about twenty minutes after I told her we needed to start rebuilding. She was really excited. How were Connor and Jacob?”
“I think they will be alright. I do not plan on going back without a very good reason. I have caused too much trouble in the Architect’s world.”
“Adam, can I ask you a question that you may find uncomfortable? Jenny was asking me something and I didn’t know how to answer.”
“What is it?” Adam knew the answer before he finished his reply.
“What happened to your parents and brother? Did they go to God’s heaven?”
“No, green light can go there but pure blue is forbidden.” Adam felt embarrassed at not having a better answer.
“What do you mean? Where did they go then?” Alice felt more concerned now.
“They are here with us but in another form. Now, they are a part of everything. Their energy was recycled. It is part of this world, just as I am.”
“Could you bring them back?”
“I might be able to but it wouldn’t be what they wanted. Unlike me they weren’t ageless, so their time would have come one day. They weren’t afraid of death.”
“Will you ever die?”
“Some of the architects are eventually destroyed when what they have created becomes uncontrollable. Some architects kill others, but that is very rare even though it was for some reason attempted on Earth. There are some architects that have been forever. We also have the ability to allow ourselves to die if we wish it. The architect’s energy while diminishing will choose a new host. All right, enough depressing talk, let’s get this place growing.” Adam walked down to the water and placed his hands in it. In the distance, tiny waves could be seen expanding the lake beyond what Alice could make out. Adam wiped his hands off on his pants, turned around to Alice. “Oh, and Alice, I am sorry.” He cupped his hands together and opened them to reveal a butterfly. Alice watched as he blew on the butterfly and it took flight, fluttering past her.
Adam next dug his hands into the ground. He thought she wouldn’t notice, but she did. A tear streamed down his face and jumped to the ground as he felt the pain his world had endured. Architects are not so different from us, she thought. They all start out young, make mistakes, and feel pain like the rest of us.
Connor awoke in the morning to the smell of the damp motel room. He immediately sat up. He hated motel sheets and the idea of bed bugs. His head felt dizzy and sick. Trying to stand, he lost his balance and grabbed onto a chair. Then he noticed Jacob sitting on the other side of the table.
“What happened? Why are we here?” Connor asked.
Jacob thought for a moment. “We drank alcohol last night and I didn’t want to bring you home drunk. You were being loud.” Jacob searched for any sign of blue light, but Connor’s light was as green as any other person of his world.
“I don’t remember that. Di
d you put something in my drink?”
“I would never put something in your drink!” Jacob shot back, offended.
“I think I should go. Maybe I drank too much. I don’t feel very well.” Connor wasn’t sure if he believed Jacob. They weren’t close and he rarely drank. He couldn’t even remember yesterday before the apparent drinking.
“Wait... I need to ask you something. Do you remember the reservoir?” Jacob stood up, hoping for the answer he wanted to hear. He had no clue how erasing memories worked or how much was erased.
“The reservoir? What about it?” Connor’s confusion was growing.
“When we went there?”
“The last time I went there was with Alice. Is that where we drank?”
Jacob realized that Adam hadn’t corrected everything in Connor’s mind. Why would he do that? How could Jacob explain? He thought for a moment and realized maybe he wouldn’t have to explain if he shared his memories. He walked over to Connor, and grabbed his hand. Connor immediately retracted his hand but Jacob kept hold, closed his eyes, and tried to push memories to Connor. No colored light came from his hand. Connor’s presence nulled his abilities.
“Let go of me!” Connor shouted. “Stay away from me!” he yelled as he broke free. Blue light fired in Connor’s eyes but Jacob was too embarrassed to look him directly in the eye. Connor headed to the door and slammed it shut behind him without glancing back. He ran all the way home. As he ran up the steps to his bedroom he ignored his mother calling for him. He laid on his bed for a minute before deciding to shower and then take a nap.
Jacob stopped by Connor’s house many times over the next month, but Connor told his mom to say he wasn’t home. Jacob used his cloaking and tried to look through Connors window, but the shades were always drawn. One day, he cloaked himself and followed Connor home from college. Connor looked right through him as he checked over his shoulder. Jacob hoped Connor would see him but he didn’t. Adam seemed successful in removing the blue light. No dangers came for Connor. The world seemed to forget about him. Jacob wanted to fly and spread his wings for Connor to see. He wanted to see Connor’s face light up with amazement and to fly with him again. He wanted to win him over, but he was limited by the rules the Architect had set. There was no evidence he could show Connor of his past. Connor also seemed to hate him after the motel incident, so getting close again seemed to be near impossible. Jacob knew he needed to give Connor space. Is this what Adam intended?
Finally, Jacob, frustrated over not making progress, intercepted Connor on the street while he was walking home from classes. He yelled out “Hey!” but Connor ignored him. Connor dragged his feet with his head held low and continued past. Jacob was stopped in his tracks as the distance between them expanded. He turned his back and wanted Connor to run to him and yell out for him. He wanted him to say, “I miss you. I remember everything. Don’t leave me ever again!” Nothing happened. Jacob was giving up on him. He couldn’t reach him anymore. His simple form was nothing to Connor. He would have done anything for him and now he was powerless.
Jacob saw a light in front of him that towered over. It was the green light emitting into the sky from the church. He slowly walked inside of the church. He knelt at a pew like the others and prayed to the Architect. He prayed for him to take his wings, take his sight of the light away. Merge his life with the green light and let him be a part of Connor’s life once again.
Connor sat in his room and wondered if he was too hard on Jacob. They had been friends once, but he was unsure of how close they were. He also believed that Jacob had drugged him, as he had no other explanation for his memory loss. Drinking had never caused him to have gaps in time. If he was desperate enough to do drugs willingly then Jacob was not a friend he needed. Connor’s uncle had dealt with drug addiction and neither the path or end result was a pleasant one.
Connor missed Alice more than ever now. He looked through drawers for pictures of them. He found ones when they were toddlers and at spring dances together. As he dug deeper in the drawer, he found a pair of glasses. He did not remember the glasses, and their presence was odd to him because no one in his family wore glasses. He put them on and waved his hand in front of them. They didn’t magnify anything. He pulled back the shades to see if they were meant for distance. Nothing seemed clearer.
Connor decided to give them a try outside. Looking down the street, he noticed a green light shooting into the sky. He ran down the block toward the green light. The church was the source, he realized as he reached its steps. Looking on the ground, there were blue mist-like footprints. He took the glasses off to get a better look. They disappeared completely. He placed the glasses back on and they reappeared. What trick did these glasses produce? Did they bend light a particular direction? His head began to hurt as he pondered these thoughts. He took the glasses off and headed home.
CHAPTER 23
The Kite
Connor walked down his street slowly, shuffling his feet. The walk to the college was much farther than the high school. He looked around and admired the sun shining down on the cracked sidewalk. He was glad for the warmth extending longer into the fall than usual. The trees behind the houses merging into the woods had the brightest green leaves still, reaching into the sky. Birds chirped as they flew overhead, chasing each other on a day that was both beautiful yet full of internal confusion. The sky was clear except for a few scattered cumulus clouds, appearing like plucked cotton in the distance.
Inside, Connor struggled to find the answers he was painfully searching for. Classes were stressful and he hadn’t made any close friends. Even Jacob had stopped coming around. Every memory felt generic, without any specific details, as if someone had written a story in tiny pieces and once it was placed together the story made no sense at all. Once he thought back far enough memories started to have clarity. He thought of Alice and how as children they would roll down grassy hills on days like today. They would stand up at the bottom of the hill, dizzy, and try to walk, giggling as they both almost lost their balance.
The focus on Alice washed away the fog that seemed to have penetrated his mind, but it also meant remembering her death. Someone had killed Alice. Connor felt anger at not knowing who killed her and how scared she must have been. She was gone forever, leaving him alone. Alice had always been Connor’s tether to reality. Without her, he often became lost in his mind and would focus on not being able to predict his future. Alice allowed him to concentrate on each day as it came. He looked forward to seeing her each day and creating new memories.
Connor was now almost to the edge of his grassy yard. The home looked picturesque on this gorgeous day as he stepped closer. He thought of his parents and the distance between them, as if they were strangers sharing a house, going through the motions of living. He had no one left in his life that brought him joy and comfort. Alice had been both his friend and family. Perhaps he had caused the distance between himself and his parents. No matter the cause, the distance was there and Connor was not thinking of remedies.
“I have lost my tether. I am a kite,” he thought as he had done many times in his past. Without warning, Connor’s feet began to lift; first his heels, then his toes left the ground. He frantically looked around to see if anyone was seeing what was occurring. His eyes widened in amazement as his body floated higher. Now fifteen feet in the air, he moved his arms to steady himself. Instead of finding balance, he spun face forward toward the ground. He was now upside down, drifting faster into the air. He reached out his arms but nothing was around to grab.
The night under the streetlight, Adam had attempted to withdraw all the blue light from Connor. He had failed. Adam believed by cutting the tether between them that the blue light would also no longer be a part of Connor. However, the light became a part of Connor due to the love that Adam had felt for him. Their connection may have been lost for a moment, but Adam never stopped loving Connor. From the last moment they saw each other, the blue light had begin to grow again within Con
nor just as it had done before. The abilities that Connor possessed and never understood were now present again, but Connor was unaware. With no one around to witness the use of his abilities, they manifested with his despair as he lacked the knowledge to control them.
A breeze whistled past his ears and he began to travel backward while still heading toward the blue sky above, like the kite he had imagined himself to be. Upside down, he felt disoriented but could make out a tree approaching on his left. He outstretched his fingers and grabbed hold of the thick green leaves. The leaves held long enough to stop his drifting for a moment before the snap and tearing sounds emitted from around his closed fist. The top of the tree quickly grew out of reach.
“Help! Help! Someone help me!” Connor screamed frantically as the magic of it all wore off and the reality of the implications of heading into the sky set in. “MOM! MOM! HELP ME!” he screamed at the top of his lungs. His house was below him and he believed she would hear him. A mother always knows the screams of her children. He searched in all directions for someone to rescue him. Then he noticed a man walking his dog below him. “HELP ME! I’m up here! LOOK UP! HEEELP!” The man didn’t turn or look up. Cars drove down the street and no one noticed him gaining altitude above. The realization that no one could hear or see him set in gradually as he began to lose his voice. The very rule that shielded people from knowing of the Architect’s existence would now become the one thing stopping anyone from helping him.
If someone could see Connor in the sky they would describe him as having the appearance of falling, as if the ground was the ceiling and he had let go. Connor bent his knees and wrapped his arms around them. The action reminded him of jumping into the town pool and yelling “Cannon ball!” This action, for some reason, caused him to spin again and he became upright. He was too scared to let go of his legs so he held them tight.