by Ann, Becca
I hear a stifled giggle outside the bathroom door. She’s so bad at trying to scare me. Always laughs her butt off.
Swinging open the door, I jump out and growl at her. She screams, then smacks me in the face with a pillow.
Her sides aren’t naked like I thought they’d be. So when I tickle her, I have to get through a thick material before making it to her sides. She laughs and still beats me over the face, and it’s not till I grab hold of her weapon and toss it to the side I see she’s in my hoodie.
There’s something about her in my clothes. It’s no bikini, but it still does things to my insides I can’t explain. I know when I get it back, it’s going to smell like her, and it makes my lips pull up into a dorky as hell grin.
“What?” She tugs the bottom of the hoodie down before hugging herself. “You said you didn’t want me catching pneumonia or some crap like that.”
“Uh huh.” Dude, Ryan. Move your eyes from her boobs to her face.
“Is it okay I borrowed this?” She pulls the hoodie again.
“Uh huh.” My brain has officially broken. I have to shake my head in order to jumpstart it. This whole week is making my obsession over this girl a million times worse. I don’t know if it’s because I’m getting hit with all the pheromones she’s spurting at Sean, but I can’t take much more of it before I crack.
There’s another sweater by the door, and I scoot around her to get to it. Her eyes roam over my stomach as I cover it, and her face falls a little like she doesn’t want me to put on more clothes. I ignore what that does to me, spouting off an arrogant comment to bring things back to normal.
“Don’t worry. You’ll get to see ‘paradise’ in the hot tub.”
That gets me a sock in the shoulder and the constipated mad look.
“Come on. Let’s go before they get overrun with all the people from the slopes.”
“I’d think you’d want Sean there.” I give her a half smile, and she rolls her eyes.
“I’m pretty sure he’s not too happy with me right now.”
Her arm tucks in mine as we walk to the hot tubs, shaking a bit with the bite in the air.
“Why? ‘Cause your best bud fell on him and made him bleed on his fancy coat?” I chuckle, but she doesn’t. She’s actually real quiet, and now I’m afraid I pissed her off. “Sorry. I’m sure he’ll forgive you. Especially if you’re wearing the eye patch under that.” I nod to her hoodie and jeans, trying to get her to laugh, but she doesn’t.
My hand goes right for the back of my neck. “You okay?”
She blinks a couple times and shakes her head, like she just realized I was talking. “Sorry, yeah. Just… wondering where it could be.”
Ah. That ring. Man, if I don’t find it before we leave, I’m staying behind and waiting for the snow to melt.
“We’ll find it.”
Her smile brings out both dimples, and she squeezes my arm. The hot tubs aren’t crowded this afternoon. Seems everyone’s on the slopes or in the rec room or in their cabins. It’s almost dinner time too, so I guess we’re the only crazy ones who want to lounge around in the Jacuzzi. I kick off my shoes, shrug off my sweater, and hop in before my nuts actually do freeze off.
Lex laughs and shakes her head at my frilly dance into the hot tub. Her fingers curl around the button on her jeans, and she flips it open.
I shouldn’t look. I shouldn’t look. But I’m gaggling at her like I’m in some sort of trance. The way she unzips and slides the pants down her hips. The way her arms cross and hold the bottom of my hoodie, then she pulls it up over her head… gah. You know those slow motion movies when the bow-chicka-bow-wow music comes on? Not porn! But… ah, hell. Never mind.
“Get a good look, perv?” she says as she slips in across from me. “You have a bit of drool, there.”
I cup my hands together and shoot a stream of water at her face. “Your fault for wearing that again.”
There’s something by my feet, and it takes me a minute to realize it’s her foot trying to kick me under the water. She can’t get enough pressure behind it though so it feels more like she’s trying to play footsies with me.
“Whatever,” she says, looking down at the bubbles around us. “I bet it’s like seeing your sister in a bikini.”
Ugh. Lex and I are close. We’re best friends. Not siblings. Better make sure we get that straight right now.
“Uh, no, it’s not.”
“What?” Her face goes a little red, and I almost lose the guts to say what I’m about to, but I’m not going to let her keep thinking this brother/sister deal.
“I know we’re only friends, but still… I am a guy. And I’m going to notice when my hot best friend is wearing barely enough to cover her.”
If it wasn’t ten degrees below the point of turning to an icicle, I’d bolt right now. I can’t believe I just said that out loud without a trace of sarcasm. Her face is getting redder, and I know it’s not from the steam.
Then her stunned face goes into one of amusement, and she starts laughing. “Guess it’s okay I look at my hot best friend’s amazing abs when he comes out in his swim trunks, then.”
I give her my wiseass grin, not even hiding what that makes me feel. “Look all you want. And make sure you spread the word about them.”
She manages to give me a good kick in the shin this time, and I grab her wrists with one hand and tickle her stomach with the other. I keep her laughing till she threatens to pee in the hot tub, and I stop. No urine dip for me, ‘cause I know she’ll do it.
We sit next to each other, facing the snowy mountain and kicking our feet up on the opposite side seats. We’re quiet, and I can’t keep the smile off my face. It’s seems she can’t either. She rests her head on my shoulder, and I grab her hand, fingering the ring I put on her this morning.
“So, you having fun this week?” It’s a lame attempt at small talk, but I really do want to know.
She nods. “It’s been one of the best weeks ever.”
“Really? Even after the giant spider attack? Falling on your ass in front of lover boy? Missing out on the slopes ‘cause your dorky friend can’t ski? And losing your ring?” I play with her fingers under the water. “Should I keep going?”
Her body shakes against mine as she laughs. “When you put it like that, it sounds like, really sucky.”
“Exactly.”
“But I more or less see it as the week I haven’t had to deal with someone being drunk. When I’ve spent most of my time with my best friend. And when I got one of the best presents I’ve ever gotten.” She brings our hands to the surface and smiles at that butt ugly ring I gave her.
Now I’m laughing. “You really don’t have to wear that thing if you don’t want—”
“I want to.”
It’s quiet again. I dip our hands back under the water.
“Hey, Ry?”
“Hmm?”
“You never talk about any girls you like.”
Whoa. Where did that come from?
“Uh…”
“Just curious why you haven’t dated anyone in like, a year.”
Because the girl I want wants someone else. Because I fight my feelings for her. Because it wouldn’t be fair to any other girl if I was with them, but really in love with someone else.
I shrug.
Her chest rises as she takes a deep breath, and I can’t help but watch it. She can’t see me staring from this angle though.
“Did you know Sean ended things with Sandy? That they were never really together to begin with?”
Ugh. Do we have to talk about this?
“No.”
She nods, adjusting her head on my shoulder. “Yeah. Yesterday.”
My chest tightens, but it’s not that good tight. It’s like how I felt on the way up to those slopes. I want to pound it to unknot it, but that won’t help. Just when I thought Lex was choosing me. I mean, she left Sean up there on the hill and came back down here with me. Sitting in the hot tub with me. Holdi
ng my hand. And…
Talking about him.
I clear my throat, hoping to get rid of what’s clogging my chest. Letting go of her hand, I say, “Looks like it worked. Congratulations.”
She tilts her head up to look at me, but I don’t make eye contact. I don’t want her to see what’s going through my mind right now.
“You don’t sound very happy about it.”
Here’s my chance. The chance to tell her how I feel about that dick. I always tell her how I feel about the people she chooses to date, but it’s like an invitation for her to go after them, because she never listens.
I don’t want to keep my mouth shut, though. And being up here has felt different. Maybe she’ll listen up here.
“I’m not.”
“What?”
“I’m not happy about it.”
She grabs my chin and turns my face around to look at her.
“Why?”
Her hand drops, but it follows the skin on my arm, down to my palm. We’re holding hands again.
“He’s a jackass.” We both let out chuckles, and she squeezes my fingers. “You deserve someone so much better than that, Lex. He doesn’t even know you. He’s a cocky son of a bitch—I know, I know, I am too. But if I’m saying it, it’s bad. And seriously, the guy just dumped a girl yesterday, or ended things, whatever, and he’s all over you. Is that someone you want? Because it just looks like he dropped this girl who he was leading on after he saw you looking better in a bikini.” Whoa… pushed it a bit. I stutter out my backpedaling. “I-I mean… N-not that he doesn’t like you for other reasons… I-I just don’t want him to do that to you, too.”
She laughs and shakes her head before it lands back on my shoulder. “Why did you use your charm, or whatever it was, to get me on this trip, then? If you knew what I was planning on doing?”
I chuckle, glad she ignored my word vomit. “I wanted you up here with me, you goof.”
Her head turns so her chin rests on my shoulder. She looks up at me with those big eyes and cute nose crinkle. “So, who do I deserve then? If not him?”
Another shot to say something I should. Not that I deserve her, but I sure want to be given the chance. But all that comes out is, “Someone better.”
It’s the truth, so I know I’m not purple. It’s not the answer she wants though. Her smile fades, and she stops looking at me. She’s going to date him anyway, I know it. At least she’s still leaning against my side. Our skin is so close I could probably cough and we’d touch hip to hip, thigh to thigh. But right now, it’s just head to shoulder.
Friends.
Because that’s all we are.
Something pricks behind my eyes. Something that doesn’t happen often to me, especially over junk like this. But I want her so bad, it’s actually causing me physical pain. The crap in my chest, the heat in my neck, the pangs I have just being this close to her, but not being closer. Not ever getting the chance to be closer.
More.
My breathing is picking up as I try to push back everything behind my eyes. I start to fidget, and rub my sockets with my wet hands to make it seem like the hot tub water is the only liquid on my face.
“You okay?”
I nod and keep rubbing my eyes. “I think the steam is getting to me.”
“Well, let’s go then. Dinner’s probably ready, too. I’m not going another day just on M&M’s and Pringles.”
We both bolt to our towels and then pansy dance to the cabin. I let her shower first. The second the door shuts, everything I’ve kept in, all the confusing junk I’ve been feeling for over a year, and a million times more on this trip, unleashes.
And I cry like a wuss, over a girl I can’t have.
Chapter 17
Lexie
I recruited Kaylee and Nate to help find my ring. Then Ryan insisted Kaylee and I team up and he take Nate or they would spend more time making out than actually searching. Smart boy.
Kaylee and I are back up on the mountain top. I thought it best if Ryan stayed below sea level. Third time might be the charm for most people, but he’s pushing his luck. Besides seeing him hurt turns me into a panicky mess even if he takes it like a man.
Kaylee walks beside me taking slow, steady steps. Her blond pigtails swing from side to side as she scans the snow covered ground.
“Didn’t Ryan give you a new ring?” she asks, nose red from the wind, eyes wide with questions.
My eyes dart away before her innocent stare breaks me down and has me gushing girl talk. “Yeah but it’s temporary. Until I find my old one. So, how’s it been basically living with Nate?” I say to avoid all topics related to Ryan.
“But he still gave you a ring.” She isn’t going to give easily.
“It was from the quarter machine. It’s no big deal.”
“Even If a guy gives you a twist tie and calls it a ring, that’s a big deal. This”—she takes my hand, holds it up, pulls off my monkey mitten and points at the orange stone—“is a big deal.” Green eyes stare me down, and I spew like a geyser.
“It is, but it isn’t. I don’t know.” I throw my arms up in the air and pace. “Before this trip he was my best friend.” Kaylee’s eyes practically roll into the back of her head. “Besides you of course. And now, well, do you realize how hot he is? I mean like wow. When did that happen?”
“Seventh grade after he got the braces off.”
My head snaps to her, but then I ignore her comment because the words won’t stop coming out. “And he knows me. Like really knows me. He gets it. Most people don’t.”
For whatever reason Kaylee takes that as, “I need a hug!” and manages to engulf me in her scrawny arms. “Aww Bestie! I get you.”
I hug her back then pry her arms off of me. “I know. But—”
“You’re in love with him.”
My eyes stretch wide at Kaylee’s words, and my mouth falls open at the realization. She’s right.
I’m in love with my best friend.
“It’s okay. I felt that way when I realized I loved Nate. I’m telling you it comes out of nowhere and whacks you on your toosh. You might want to sit.” She points her pink-gloved hand to the snow.
“I’m not sitting in the snow,” I mutter, my mind still stuck on the “I love him” part.
“So you love him. What do you plan on doing about it?”
Good question. I just realized he was hot, like, the other day. And then I realized I liked him, you know, more than a friend…but I never expected love.
My legs buckle and I fall flat on my butt. Kaylee was right. I needed to sit.
I expect the “I told you so,” that comes out of her mouth seconds after the cold smacks me in the butt.
“What am I going to do?”
“First you’re going to put your mitten back on before your fingers fall off. You want nails to paint, don’t ya?” I grab the mitten out of her hand and slide it back on mine. “And second, I’d tell Sean, considering he’s told everybody who will listen you two are together.”
I didn’t think it was possible for my eyes to go as wide as Kaylee’s since she is like a weird cartoon animal, but they are as wide as a half dollar. Anger surges through my veins until it flings me up from the ground.
“He did what!” I scream, voice echoing across the mountain top.
“Told anybody who would—”
“I heard you. I was just repeating.” I push my palm into my forehead. “You know what never mind. This is a mess.”
“Nothing you can’t fix. Go over to his cabin after we get back, and just tell him the truth.”
She makes it seem so simple. And maybe it is. Still it isn’t exactly a conversation I want to have.
“I guess you’re right.”
“I know.” She wraps her arm around my neck and pushes me forward. “Now come on we have a ring to find.”
Two hours later Kaylee and I ski to the bottom of the slope. No ring. Kaylee skies toward Nate. When I see him standing there arms out, I
picture Ryan and Sean’s tangled mess, but she glides right into him.
Ryan stands off to the side, hat pulled down just over his eyebrows. He rubs his hands and brings them to his lips, and a large gust of air blows out between his fingers. His dark eyes crinkle as he makes a face at Nate and Kaylee. I click out of my skis and walk over to him.
“Any luck?” he asks with an easy smile, the same one he always has, but this time it makes my stomach flutter.
“Nope.” I shrug. “You?”
He heaves a heavy sigh and rubs the back of his neck. “No. Sorry.” His strong hand rests on my shoulder then he gives it a squeeze.
“No biggie. At least I still have the one you got me.” I take off my mitten and hold up my hand. He takes it in his and examines the ring as if seeing it for the first time.
“You deserve better than this.” His voice is huskier than usual. “You deserve the best.” My small fingers slide into his big ones. He studies it a little longer then kisses my knuckles before pulling his hand away.
“Hey, Lexie has to head up to the cabin for something. She’ll meet us back at the rec room.” Kaylee unwraps herself from Nate and gives me the knowing eye. The one that says go break things off with Sean before you really have a mess on your hands.
I nod, eyes wide to tell her I got it, then turn back to Ryan. His hand grazes mine, and my heart does that pitter-patter thing people talk about, and all I want to do is curl up into his arms, but I have to go deal with Sean.
“It’s getting late. The sun’s setting. I’ll go back with you.”
“No!”
Ryan jumps back, his eyebrows disappearing under his hat. “I-I mean go with Nate and Kaylee. I’ll be fine.”
“You shouldn’t walk in the dark by yourself. Besides I just heard someone saying they’re expecting a ton of snow.”
“I’ll go with her!” Kaylee jumps in between us. “And we’re at a ski resort. Of course they’re expecting snow.”
Nate adjusts his fedora. “Bunny Bear…” Behind him, Ryan sticks his finger in his mouth and pretends to hurl. “I don’t want you walking in the—” Nate stops when Kaylee gives him the stink eye.