by Ann, Becca
“We’ll be on the shuttle most of the time. Just go and we’ll meet you there in a few.” She runs over, kisses Nate on the cheek then pushes both boys away from us before they have a chance to argue.
She’s good.
“Okay here’s the plan,” she says once the boys are out of ear shot. “I’ll walk you to Sean’s door. He’s probably there because I just heard Kevin say Sean wasn’t feeling well and headed back.”
Great. The boy doesn’t feel good, and now I’m going to go knock on his door and tell him I don’t want to be with him.
“Then I’ll go back to the boys and tell them you were tired and fell asleep in our room. That way Ryan won’t come looking for you.”
I’m doubtful it’ll work, but I need to take care of this. Besides I’ll be back with everyone before Ryan even notices I’m gone.
“Let’s do this,” I say, and with determination in my step, I make my way toward the bus.
The ride is shorter than I remember. Thought I’d have more than a minute to get a game plan together.
Still in the short amount of time on the bus, the snow picked up leaving a fresh coat on the ground and more is falling. Big chunks of white float from the sky.
The sidewalks are completely covered and makes it difficult to walk, but determination gets me to Sean’s door with Kaylee right behind me practically looking like a snowman.
“Holy guacamole, Ryan wasn’t kidding about the snow,” she says and shakes her head, showering me with the buildup from her hat and hair.
I wipe the snow from my face then turn to knock, and I freeze. I never had to breakup with someone before. Even though we weren’t really going out, this still sucks.
“You’re on your own, Bestie.” Kaylee bounces up and kisses my cheek, her blond hair already completely coated in snow again. “Don’t worry I got you covered. Now go take care of this so you can go be with Ryan.”
The thought of it sends goose bumps all over my body, or it could very well be the ridiculous amount of snow accumulating on me.
“Be careful,” I yell to Kaylee, as she disappears into the sheet of white. I take a deep breath and knock on Sean’s door.
“It’s open,” he calls, and with a steady hand, I turn the knob and walk in.
His room is like mine and Ryan’s except for the pile of filth on the table. Plates with half eaten food sit on the nightstand, cups with water rings around them spread across the dresser, and a pile of clothes tossed in the back corner.
Is he rooming with a bunch of monkeys? I look down at my mitten and shake my head. No monkeys are too cute to be this messy.
“Lexie!” Sean yells as he walks out of the bathroom in bare feet, dark jeans and a black thermal. “I’ve wanted to talk to you.”
“I heard.” I step back as he steps closer. I don’t want his lips to sneak attack me. “I…uh…We should sit.”
“Sure let me just…” He moves over to the bed and picks up an armful of clothes and throws them at the pile in the corner. A dirty white sock lands on top then slides three feet down to the bottom.
The bed isn’t made, but it looks safer than the chair covered in dirty boxers, so I plop down. I cross my legs and turn toward Sean. His lips smack my nose, and I push him away.
“That’s not why I’m here,” I say, my hand still on his chest.
“But I want to be with you and all that stuff.”
And stuff. How romantic. That is exactly what every girl wants to hear when a boy declares he wants to be with her.
My vision clears, and I realize how much of a mistake Sean is. I was looking for acceptance. Silly how I thought that came by being the girlfriend of the most popular guy in school.
I glance up at Sean, and it’s not hard to see why I was so enamored by him. He’s gorgeous, but now that I took the blinders off my eyes, Ryan is too. But with Ryan there’s more to him than just his good looks. He knows everything about me, and I’m not ashamed of myself when I’m with him. I don’t think I’d ever be able to fully open up to Sean.
“Sean, I’m sorry, but I don’t want to be with you.” There I said it. No beating around the bush. Just put it out there. Easy peasy.
“Is this about what happened with Sandy? I mean that was pretty messed up, but I swear I had nothing to do with it. But it made me see how I don’t want to be with someone like that, and how I want to be with…with you.”
He shifts closer on the bed, his arm reaches out for my face, and just when his body is about to push me into the sheets, I jump up and his face meets mattress. I lean up against the dresser arms crossed over my chest.
I glance toward the window only to see a wall of white and I smile thinking of how many snowball fights I’ll get in with Ryan.
“You’re scared,” Sean says and I drop the smile. “I get it. But we have a connection. I know you feel it. Come here.” He stands and walks toward me. He obviously doesn’t know how to read body language. I dodge him again and move toward the chair of dirty boxers.
“Sean, stay!” I yell and hold my hand up. Like a dog he comes to a halt.
“Lexie, give me a chance. We could be great together. Fall in love and shit.”
He has no idea what true love really is. If he did, he would have stood up to Sandy at Skippy Lee’s . And I’ll give him a momentary lapse in judgment, but he didn’t run after me. He let me go as everyone pointed and laughed at me.
He never came. But Ryan did. “You won’t love me. You think you will, but you won’t.”
“How do you know that?” He moves closer again, but this time I don’t stop him. I let his head lean in to me. And just when his lips are about to touch mine, I hold my finger against them.
“Because if that was true, right now you’d need more than a kiss. Falling in love is more than kissing. So much more.”
“Huh?” Confusion fills his face, and I take that as my cue to leave.
“You’ll figure it out one day. Bye, Sean.” I reach for the knob and just when the door swings into me, a pile of snow falls from the roof and blocks my exit.
You have got to be kidding me.
“Doesn’t look like we’re going anywhere.” Sean says and flops onto the bed.
Oh no no no. I refuse to be stranded here with him when I just dumped him, and told him he wouldn’t love me.
It’s just snow. Brewster barrels through snow like it’s air. I pull on my mittens I have tucked into my pockets and dive into it. Cold penetrates my hands almost instantly, but I don’t stop. I dig a hole, snow falling into the room.
I’m making a dent, a very small dent when arms wrap around me and pull me away. The door slams shut, and I kick and flail. I was getting somewhere.
Sean put’s me back on the ground, hands holding me in place. “Are you out of your mind?”
“Maybe!” I yell as frustration boils over. Frustration mixes with an overwhelming sense of sorrow when I think of all that’s happened and tears stream down my cheek.
“Oh man, don’t cry.” Sean pulls me into his chest, and I don’t resist. I’ve lost any and all energy I had left.
“I couldn’t wait to come on this trip. It was supposed to be paradise. But nothing has gone right since I got here.” Except for Ryan. And just when I was about to go to— “And now I’m snowed in a room with you!”
“Come on I’m not that bad.” He wipes the hair off my cheek and looks at me with blue eyes. They sparkle just like they did that day at the library, but this time I don’t go weak in the knees. Though, I see the kindness in his gaze, the sincerity. .
“No, you’re not.” I force a smile and swipe fingers under my eyes.
“How bad can things really be?”
“I lost my ring.” I pull out of Sean’s embrace and flop onto the bed, hands landing in my lap seconds later. “It’s the only thing important to me and poof it’s gone. Just like that.” I snap to emphasize the quickness.
“Was it a diamond?”
He never noticed the ring I wore every sin
gle day on my pinky.
“Not valuable in the monetary sense. Priceless in the sentimental sense.”
“I’ll help you find it then.” His face lights up and hope flutters in the cobalt of his eyes.
“It’s pointless. I’ve looked everywhere.”
“Well you obviously haven’t looked everywhere or you would have found it.”
Thanks for the late breaking news, Anderson Cooper.
“Trust me, it’s gone.”
“I bet you it’s not. I’ll find it.” He smirks, and I roll my eyes. Ryan’s right. Sean is a cocky douche. “Doubt me all you like, but I will.” His stupid smile gets bigger. “And when I do you have to kiss me.”
My eyes shoot up, and I’m about to say hell no, because the only lips I want on mine are Ryan’s, but if I haven’t found it yet there’s no way Sean will. And if he’s looking for the ring, he’ll stay away from me. “Fine.”
He sticks out his hand, and with a big cocky grin says, “Deal.”
Not like I’ll ever have to follow through on the deal. My ring is gone. I’ll never see it again. A part of me wishes it was still perched on my pinky, but it’s part of the past. A past I’ve been holding onto for far too long. It has done nothing but let me down time and time again. Maybe it’s time to let go. Move on, far away from the things that broke me and toward the things that keep me together.
I look down at the orange stone Ryan gave me. It glistens against the light of the lamp in the corner, copper specks shimmer just like Ryan’s eyes. My ring is gone, but it was haunted by ghosts of the past. And now in its place is a ring that represents the brightness of my future. But orange stone or no orange stone, as long as Ryan is here there will never be a dim moment.
Ryan. I need to call him. He needs to know where I am.
I pick up the phone and dial the front desk. When the lady answers, I don’t give her a chance to get her whole greeting out. “Hi, yes, I’m in room… Sean what room is this?”
“17A.”
“I’m in room 17A and snow just fell off the roof, and now I can’t get out. You need to get me out of here.”
“The best thing to do is stay put. The snow is really coming down, and we’ve had several calls about the same issue. We have to take them as they come in. Get comfortable and we will have someone out to you as soon as we can.”
I look at Sean who just scratched himself and then back at the phone. “Do I have any other choice?”
“No,” the woman says just before she hangs up.
“What’d they say?” he asks arms behind his head, a smile on his face like this isn’t the worst thing ever.
“Get comfortable.”
“Well you may as well do what they say.” He lifts his arm at me as if I’m going to climb across the bed and lay with him. That is so not happening.
I hang up the phone and dial mine and Ryan’s room. Busy signal. Darn it. If he knew I was here, alone, with Sean… he would dig me out with his bare hands.
I dial again. Still busy. The phones must be acting up. Crap. Forty five more times and still a busy signal. Then I remember to call his cell phone, but it’s pointless since it goes right to voicemail. I text him, but if he has no service he won’t get the text until two days from now.
Ryan where are you? We rely on each other, and I need him right now more than he needed me to throw his butt out the window when the chaperones came through.
The window!
Duh! I make it across the room in two strides. My hands go right to the bottom of the pane, and I push it up. Only problem. The window doesn’t budge, and my arms jolt back like they hit a brick wall.
What the…?
“Window’s broken. Or something. Damn thing won’t budge. Sandy had to hide under the bed when the chaperones came through.”
Did he really just say that? The boy just tried to win my affections not even five minutes ago, and now he’s telling me about Sandy Mc-Slut-ster hiding under his bed. Ugh!
I accept defeat and fling myself onto the very edge of the bed. He changes the channel on the TV switching between SpongeBob SquarePants and some car show. I wish he’d let me have the remote. He doesn’t.
Two hours later, and he still won’t share.
Two hours! It’s been two hours, and not a single person has come by. I call the front desk again, but I get the same response. “Get comfy. We’ll get to you soon.”
I go and open the door, hoping the snow melted or blew away, but I’m met with a wall of solid white fluff taller than me.
“It’s getting late. We might as well turn in. I’m sure they’ll knock once we can get out.”
No way. I am not sleeping anywhere near him and his wandering lips. Besides all I need is to have one of my nightmares. Other than Ryan, no one knows about them, and I’m not about to let someone else in.
“I’ll stay up and wait thanks.”
“Suit yourself.” Sean pushes the pillow under his head and turns the light out on the nightstand.
I try Ryan one more time, but the phone is still busy. Of course. Why wouldn’t it be? I look down at my nails and pick away at the Houston We Have a Purple. I can repaint them when and if I ever get out of here.
My stomach growls, reminding me I haven’t eaten anything since lunch. “Sean?”
He answers with a loud, gargling snore. Great. Just great. The bed creaks as he turns over and, oh my God! Did he just? He totally just farted. Eww! Gross and oh man what did he eat?
My hand flies to my shirt and pulls it up over my nose. Air freshener. I need air freshener. I run to the bathroom and spot a can on the back of the toilet. Thank God!
I step toward it and…Oh God! Really! Is that pee on the floor? You have got to be kidding me! How hard is it to aim? The toilet is a big enough target, it’s not like he has to pee into a straw. Ugh! Disgusting.
Without taking another step closer, I reach out and grab for the can. I spray it out in front of me and continue spraying into the room. I walk up to Sean and spray his ass. Obviously there’s something rotting up there.
I hug the air freshener to my chest and fall against the only wall that doesn’t have crap pushed up against it, wishing I was back in the king sized bed with Ryan. All this time I was searching for more when all I had to do was open my eyes. He was right there, sexy eyes and all. Right in front of me. But I was too dumb, or blind or whatever to see it.
From his conditioned soft hair to the way my body fits perfectly against his as if we were made to go together. But most of all, he knows everything about me. Every awful detail yet he has never once judged me.
He’s never seen me as the daughter of the town drunk or the girl whose father abandoned her. Ryan has only ever seen me. Maybe it’s because all of this time, all these years he’s felt as I do.
And now for the first time in ten years I can admit, I’m in love with my best friend. I love him. Always have, just been too scared to admit it.
But what if he doesn’t feel the same about me? Life as I know it will change and I could lose him. I can’t lose him. He’s the only constant in my life. The only reason I haven’t given up.
For the first time since I realized I love my best friend, I’m terrified. Nothing ever works out for me. It seems everything about my life is up and down just like an elevator, but it’s never on the floor it needs to be. So it’s only natural I’m stuck with the human gas chamber while Ryan, the boy I love, is nowhere to be found.
Chapter 18
Ryan
All night. I was up all night waiting for Lex to come back to the room. Kaylee fed me some line about her sleeping with her and Nate, but I didn’t believe it for a second. That was the “Vampire Spider” room. And when I blink my eyes to the blinding light Friday morning and see Lex coming out of Sean’s cabin, I freeze for about two seconds before bolting.
I knew it. I knew it! I tell her the truth about how I feel about the dick, and she goes right over there. And not only that, but has the nerve to lie to me about
it!
I stomp through the snow, feeling like such a dumbass. Jamming my hands in my pockets, my fingers mash into that two day old muffin that’s been sitting in there. As I pass the trash can, I chuck the remains with a lot more force than I mean to.
Ping!
What the…?
I know that muffin is beyond stale, but it shouldn’t have made a ping.
Peeking over the edge of the can, I see it. Lex’s ring. Covered in lemon poppy seed, but otherwise, intact.
My hands are shaking, and I’m jumping up and down like a damn girl. I can’t believe this whole time it’s been in my pocket! How did it get in my pocket? Who cares? I found it! Just in time too. We’re leaving tomorrow, and I really didn’t want to go back up to those slopes, especially with the storm warning we had yesterday. Got the message about ten times from the front desk lady—I’m really regretting putting the charm on her—before I unplugged the thing. Yeah, I got it. No slopes, stay near the resort, blah, blah, blah.
I wipe off the muffin goo from the ring, still not believing I actually found it.
“You know, there’s better food in the dining room.”
If she hadn’t said anything, I would have never known it was Sandy talking to me. She’s slumped over a snow-covered picnic table, hair scrunched, and raccoon eyes that are more like panda eyes, since the black covers about half her face. Her arm raises, and she chucks a tiny glass bottle my direction, landing with a crash in the garbage.
“I take it that’s not where you got that.”
She shakes a finger at me and nods, letting out a tiny burp. Wow. I mean, really, wow. I know I don’t really know this girl, but she didn’t strike me as someone who gets drunk at ten in the morning.
It must be written on my face, because she pulls out another bottle, and spits out, “Don’t judge me. I’m not drunk. I’m just drinking. I haven’t slept in the past few days because I was kicked out of my own cabin when Sean dumped me for that piece of trash—”
“Hey, watch it.” I may be upset at Lex, but I still won’t let people talk shit about her.
“Right, she’s your friend.” She takes a swig. “Sorry.”