by Maggie Marr
For another hour I rolled around in the surf. I gave him my noncomplaining sexy. Then, when Javier called the shoot I jumped up and grabbed the terry cloth robe. Night was falling, the golden hour almost gone.
“Sophia, it’s Choo!” Ellen held out my phone and walked toward me across the sand.
I ambled up the beach and petted Carl on the head. I took the phone from Ellen.
“I’m freezing,” I said into the phone. “It’s a good thing you’re not my booking agent because I would scream at you if you were.”
“Diva,” Choo said playfully.
A smile cut across my face. My first smile today that wasn’t bought and paid for, and actually reflected my true feelings. “Thanks to you, diva is the last word anyone will ever use to describe me.”
“True enough.”
Choo’s brilliant plan of sending me to Pawtown had not only salvaged my image and career, but had caused it to burst to ten times its original size. My day rate was up. The offers were up. People wanted to work with me. The fashion industry and entertainment industries thought of me as beautiful, talented, down to earth, and easy to work with. Yeah … now after scooping poop on TV I was suddenly easy to work with.
Who cared? All was well. My career was at a fever pitch and that was the main thing.
So why was I so unhappy?
“Listen, babe, I need a favor.”
“You know you’re on my good list. So, anything for you.”
“I need you to present an award. It’s a non-profit that I do pro bono work for and they present the award every year. This year, because of everything that has happened, they feel you’re the ideal person to present the award at the ceremony.”
“What’s it for?”
“It’s the ‘Save Them All’ award. They give it out to people or groups who have worked diligently to save animals.”
My chest tightened. I knew somebody who did that. I knew a couple of people who had dedicated their lives to saving animals. I turned away from Ellen and Carl. “Sure,” I said. “I can do that. Just email me the details and book it into my calendar. Tell Beverley.”
“Already done, my love.” Choo paused and silence hung between us. Finally, in a gentle voice, he asked, “So, how are you doing?” There were all kinds of unspoken meanings in that one question. Choo was asking about my life, my heart, my feelings for Trick … Choo was asking about everything.
Choo was close to Trick and Angie, and he still did Pawtown’s PR. Plus Choo and Ellen talked daily. Once I returned from Milan I’d holed up in my room at our condo. Not in the same way that I’d hidden after I’d hit Drummond with my car, but in an entirely different way. I needed to be alone. I didn’t want the Los Angeles luxe existence. The excess, the cameras, the nightlife. Funny, huh? The crazy L.A. existence had been exactly what I thought I wanted when I was at Pawtown. Now that the L.A. life, the celebrity life, the I’m-on-top-of-the-world life was mine again, I didn’t want to take part.
Who was I when I had accidentally hit Drummond with my car? I could barely remember that girl. I felt like a completely different person now. I stared out at the ocean. The calm waves danced along the sand.
“How am I?” The words trailed from my mouth as though I was trying to discover the answer myself. “I’m … maybe … I’m confused?”
“Oh, Sophia,” Choo said in the gentlest voice. “I felt that way for decades. It’s not the easiest place to be. I’m here and so is Ellen, if you need me or her or anyone else. There are so many people who love you.”
“Thanks, Choo.”
My family loved me. My brother, my sister, and even Daddy in his odd sort of way. I knew that my half-siblings would love me if I’d let them. I even suspected that the man I couldn’t get out of my head, Trick Williams, might love me, too.
“You could call him,” Choo said softly.
I nodded. My lips thinned. “I could.” I turned back toward Ellen. “But what’s the point? He left the life I want. It’s not fair to ask him to come back to Los Angeles and this life.”
“It might not be fair to make that decision for him, either.”
I closed my eyes. Heat flared through me. My temper. Breath filled my lungs. Choo was my friend, and he was trying to help me see a way back to the man that I was in love with. “Damn,” I said. “How the hell did I let this happen?”
“Ha! Lovey, you don’t get to choose. Not really. Have you seen my brother and his wife? Their relationship was definitely not convenient in the beginning, okay? Amanda and Ryan? Who would have called that couple? Or Sterling and Rhiannon, after all the things that happened between their parents? No. Way. And your brother? Rhett Delgado Legend? The biggest lothario in the music business? He’s all settled down and practically married. I’m telling you, love happens, and it happens in spite of all the obstacles. Babe, you’ve just got a geography problem. That’s nothing when you think about it.”
“Yeah, nothing,” I said.
Choo was trying to help and while he knew the story, he didn’t know Trick. At least not like I knew Trick. Did anyone really know him? I closed my eyes. This distance between us was so much more than geography. This distance was about a lifestyle, a desire, a need that pulsed deep in my gut to succeed on my terms, with my career and with my life. I needed to prove that I was a Legend. A real Legend.
“I’ll let the foundation know that you’ll present the award and, lovey, will you come by? Maybe this weekend? It’s especially easy now that you aren’t afraid of the pups. I’ll even cook you dinner.”
“You’ll cook?” Disbelief slid through my voice.
“Okay, Jackson will cook, but I’ll take the credit.”
A tiny giggle passed over my lips. The first laugh of my day. Trick would do the same for me. Cook and let me take the credit. I closed my eyes. Trick. Every thought I had led back to Trick.
“I won’t take no for an answer, okay? I’m texting Ellen now. I know she’ll get your ass there.”
We said our good-byes and I wandered up the beach toward my trailer. The sun was nearly immersed in the Pacific and bright orange traced with magenta slicked the sky. The sunsets at Pawtown had been just as bright, just as beautiful, but they’d been more beautiful with Trick there.
“You okay?” Ellen asked.
I turned to my sister. My mirror image. Her downturned lips mirrored the feelings in my heart. I pressed my hand to her shoulder. “Not yet, but I will be.”
Chapter 22
Trick
I’d convinced Luis to come into town with me. The beer was going down easy. There wasn’t much of a crowd tonight at Big Daddy’s. I’d already left about fifteen bucks in the Golden Tee machine, and another fifteen for beers at the bar.
“Man, I’ve got to hit the head and then let’s roll.” Luis stood from the seat beside me at the bar. I nodded and Luis headed toward the bathrooms.
“Can I get you anything else?” Tabitha leaned over the bar. Her long blonde hair brushed over her shoulder. The lush pale flesh of the top of her breasts pressed out of the top of her V-neck. Great view. After four beers I wasn’t able to turn away, or avert my gaze, or do anything that could be considered gentlemanly. Her smile and the curve of her chin were a clear invitation for more than a beer. Tabitha and I had flirted for going on five years. The beer wasn’t helping me forget Sophia. Maybe Tabitha’s lush flesh would.
I leaned closer. Close enough to smell the scent of cinnamon and soap. A scent so different from Sophia’s. “Maybe,” I said.
A smile lit Tabitha’s face. “I’m finished here. Chuck is gonna close tonight. Why don’t you come to my place?”
Luis sidled up to the bar and Tabitha slipped away. “You ready?” he asked.
“Think I’ve got a ride,” I said, and nodded toward Tabitha, who had moved to the far end of the bar to gather her jacket and purse. I upended my beer and took a last long drink.
“That’s one way to get over heartbreak,” Luis said. He’d nursed the same beer all nig
ht, and didn’t even plan to finish it. “You sure?”
“Oh, I’m sure.” I stood and nodded toward Luis. “See you tomorrow, compadre.” I tapped him on the shoulder and walked toward the far end of the bar where Tabitha stood with her purse over her shoulder and a smile on her face. Oh, yeah. I knew one way to forget about pain and heartbreak. One way that would work for sure. And with Tabitha I was definitely about to get my adrenaline rush.
*
I followed Tabitha into a bungalow on Main Street not far from Big Daddy’s. I pulled the door shut behind me. She turned and I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her to me. Again, the scent of cinnamon and a clean fresh soapy scent. Her body melded into mine and my lips pressed against hers.
Her kiss was firmer and less plush, not anything like Sophia’s kiss. She was shorter than Sophia and kinda thin. She did not remotely resemble Sophia. I pressed closer to banish the thoughts of Sophia. My hand trailed up her shirt and I cupped her breast. Round and firm, but not like Sophia’s breast. I stopped myself.
I couldn’t do it.
I pulled my lips from Tabitha’s and my gaze met hers. “I’m sorry. I just … I can’t.” A giant breath filled my lungs. My hands dropped to my sides. She could slug me and yell if she needed to. I was a douchebag, an idiot, a complete ass. I was definitely not nearly as deep into recovery as I wanted to believe I was. “This isn’t fair to you, or to me, or to the person I keep thinking about.”
Tabitha’s gaze remained locked on mine. I expected her to slug me, or at the very least throw me out of her house.
“I get it.” Tabitha patted my chest with her hand and her eyes held a knowing look with hints of pain. “Better to tell me now than later. I appreciate that. Makes you one of the good ones.”
I settled my hands on my hips. “Right now I don’t feel like one of the good ones.” I slipped my phone from my pocket. “Right now I feel like a giant piece of that dog poo I spend my days scooping.” I started to type a text. “Gonna see if Luis is still close to town.”
“Sounds good.” Tabitha turned toward the kitchen. “And I’m going to make both of us some coffee.”
Coffee was more than I deserved from Tabitha. I texted Luis and he guaranteed me he’d be round to get me in twenty minutes. “Anything I can do to help?” I turned the corner and stood beside the kitchen counter. She pulled two mugs from a cabinet and flashed me a smile.
“Trick, we’ve been friends a while. Why don’t you have a seat, wait for the coffee, and tell me about this girl? The one that you wanted to forget by kissing me.”
I looked down and stared at my boots. I would really prefer just waiting outside in the cool night air to sitting in here and discussing Sophia.
“Come on, Trick.” Tabitha put her hands on her hips. “We’ve been flirting with each other going on five years. I finally get you over here only to find out you’re in love? At least tell me about this girl. She must be special if she managed to crack open your heart.”
“What’s that mean?”
“You know exactly what that means. You’re closed off, all business, and you don’t have the time or the patience for a relationship.” Tabitha took a plate from the kitchen cabinet and pulled open a Tupperware container filled with cookies. She placed four on the plate and slid it across the counter. “At least, you never have before.”
I sat on one of the tall chairs at the counter. The thick rich scent of freshly brewed coffee filled the room. I picked up a chocolate chip cookie and took a bite. Rich, moist, and chewy. “Damn, Tabitha, these are good.”
“Baking is kind of my thing.” She poured coffee into the two cups.
“It should be your thing full time.” I finished the cookie with one more bite and reached for a second.
“From your lips to God’s ears.” Tabitha set my mug of coffee in front of me. “So,” she said, blowing a stream of breath over the surface of her coffee. “About this girl. Do you love her?”
I shook my head. “Dammit, as much as I don’t want to, I’m pretty certain that I do.”
“What are you going to do about it?”
“What can I do? She wants a different kind of life. One that doesn’t involve spending seven days a week at Pawtown.”
Tabitha took a slow drink of her coffee. “Trick? You didn’t answer my question. What are you going to do about it? If you really love her like you can’t stop thinking about her, and want only her, and she makes your world turn upside down … if it’s that type of love, then it’s not about how inconvenient loving her is. It’s all about how you find workarounds for anything that stands in your way.”
“I can’t see how,” I said. I scooped up my third cookie. “I don’t know how to be with someone who only wants a public life. I let that go. I said good-bye to all that a long time ago.”
“Well, here’s the thing. You either don’t love her enough to make the changes you need to make so you can be with her, or you’re a damned fool, because that kind of love? That world-spinning-flat-on-your-ass kind of love? That doesn’t happen very often. Maybe once in your life, if you’re lucky.”
My gaze focused on Tabby. “Sounds like you know what you’re talking about,” I said softly.
Her blue eyes refocused on me. “You’re not the only one who has memories that they want to run away from.”
The knock on the door interrupted us. I stood and brushed my hands together over the plate. “Thank you, Tabby.” I said.
A half-smile showed on her face. She followed me to the door.
“You could have thrown my ass out and I would have understood,” I said.
“But then I wouldn’t have gotten to give you all my good advice.” She pulled open the door. Luis stood on the other side on the front steps. “Hey, Luis. You two be careful getting home.”
“Thanks for the cookies and the coffee, Tabby.” I leaned forward and wrapped one arm around her shoulder.
“No problem. And listen to what I said, Trick. If you love her, you need to find a way.”
I nodded and walked out into the cool night air. I did love Sophia, I simply didn’t know how to make my life fit with hers.
Sophia
“Doll,” Daddy leaned toward me and whispered, but kept his photo-op smile plastered to his face. “Can you at least pretend to be happy?”
I perked up my smile and shot it at the bank of photogs lining the red carpet. “Daddy, I am happy.”
“Sweetheart, you look more unhappy about attending my premiere than your sister does.”
I slid my gaze toward the far end of the red carpet where Ellen stood and waited for us. She’d done one step and repeat and had then scooted just inside the theater entrance to get away from the flashing cameras and shouting photographers. She hated these events. Usually, I loved them. Especially when I got to go as Daddy’s date. The photogs went bonkers for pics of me with Daddy. Of course they did! I was the only Legend with a front-of-the-camera future. Well, there was Rhett, but he’d made it clear he only wanted to write music and sing. No acting for him. I would act. In fact, Webber had just booked my first film. So this event, the premiere of The Legend Never Dies, was huge and it was a way to keep me and my career and the fact that I was the daughter of the biggest actor in the world front and center.
So why did I have to keep forcing the smile onto my face?
Trick. Trick Williams. My heart could not get over that man.
Daddy placed his hand over mine and guided me down the red carpet. We stopped and again I slid my gaze along the bank of photogs, starting on the right and slowly counting in my head as I looked at each one as they flashed until I got to the far left of the line. Flash. Flash. Flash. Flash.
“Come on, Doll, we’ve fed the beast long enough.” Daddy lifted his hand to wave and I did a tiny little wave too and we walked into the darker cooler air of the theatre. The smile slipped from Daddy’s face. Webber stood there glancing at his watch.
“Steve, my man, we’ve got two minutes until the pr
emiere begins. You need anything? Anything at all?” Webber leaned closer to Daddy. “I even got a little lovely stashed in the green room.” Webber wiggled his eyebrows as though Daddy wouldn’t know what “little lovely” meant.
“Seriously, Webber?” Ellen stood on his other side. “If you weren’t an agent everyone would think you were a pimp.”
“What?” Webber held up his hands. “Everyone has different forms of stress release. Some people use booze. Other people use sex.” He pressed his hands to his chest. “It’s not my job to judge, okay? I merely provide what my client needs.”
Ellen rolled her eyes toward the ceiling and then flashed me a look that seemed to say, really? This is what you want? She leaned close to my ear. “Now do you understand why I want to be a doctor?”
“Doll, I’ll meet you inside. I need to go speak to the director and the other producer. And truly, Doll, if you want to sneak out the back, no problem. I’ll see you two at the premiere party.” He pressed a kiss to my cheek and then leaned past Webber and pressed a kiss to Ellen’s cheek. Then the two of them dashed across the lobby, leaving Ellen and me standing on our own.
“He’s totally going to the green room,” Ellen said. She crossed her arms over her chest. “My God, if he wasn’t our father, he would completely disgust me.”
I bit my bottom lip. In Hollywood it seemed everyone had some addiction to ease their pain. A giant hole filled with ache that needed praise and attention and … I turned away, knowing I was just as bad as everyone else. Desire for fame was my drug of choice. My eyes widened and I turned to Ellen.
“Do you think I use fame as a drug?”
“Well, duh?” Ellen said, and shook her head. “Of course you do. Our entire family does. Seriously? Are you just now sorting that out?”