by Maggie Marr
“I …” My mouth dropped open. “I must not have thought about it, or realized, or even considered that the attention I get from what I do … that attention is part of what I need. Not just the work, but also the cameras and the idea of being a celebrity.” I looked at Ellen. “You don’t need all that, do you?”
Ellen pushed her hair behind her ear and tilted her chin. “Not the same way that you and Rhett do. Besides, the idea of having to walk down one of those?” She pointed toward the red carpet on the other side of the glass door. “For my work? The whole idea is horrifying.”
“It’s not horrifying,” I said. “But I definitely don’t seem to love it the same way I did when I started out. Now it just seems like kind of a hassle. Something I have to do for work. You know?”
“Not really,” Ellen said. “But, okay. What are you saying? That you don’t want to be a model anymore? That you aren’t going to do the movie?”
“No, I mean yes. I want to do those things, I just … I just want more in my life.” I leaned in toward Ellen. “I mean Daddy has work and a revolving door of women. I need more than that. When I was at Pawtown, especially near the end, I felt like I was really doing something. Like I was helping people and animals, and it felt good.”
“Altruism,” Ellen said. “That’s my drug of choice.”
I looked at Ellen. Always with the words and the smarts. “Okay, whatever that means, what I’m saying is I liked doing good things for people. It made me feel good.”
“And that, dear sister, is the meaning of altruism. You liked it. Made you feel good. Go do more of it. There are so many places that need attention and volunteers and people who will help and—”
“I can think of one such place right now.”
I spun around. Choo stood behind me with his arms over his chest. “Girl, you are in love. Okay. Deny until you die, but you need to be out on that ranch with that boy and you just don’t want to admit it.”
Did I? I bit my bottom lip. I did. Damn. I absolutely did want to be with Trick. “Even without living the luxe life I still need to be in Los Angeles, and there are events I have to do, and I’m not leaving modeling or entertainment. How could we possibly make all of that work? He hates Los Angeles and doesn’t want anything to do with the Industry.”
“I know, beautiful girl, we’ve gone over this already. And I am going to say the same thing to you now that I told you then. You have got to discuss all this with Trick. Okay? It’s not fair if you don’t. It’s not fair to you, to him, and it’s definitely not fair to the world, because the two of you would have the most beautiful babies on the planet!”
I pressed my hand into Choo’s shoulder and shook my head. “Stop. Okay? We’re not even close to that.”
“Maybe not yet, but someday you will be.” Choo held out an arm toward Ellen. “Come on girls, let’s get out of this place. Let’s go have some drinks and then maybe go to the after party … or maybe not.”
Ellen took one of Choo’s arms and I took the other. I liked the sound of some quiet time with my sister and my friend. I had discovered that I didn’t need all the glitz and the glam. What I really needed was the people I loved and the people who loved me.
Chapter 23
Trick
“I hate these things,” I said. “I still don’t think this is straight.” I turned to Angie. Her dress was long and sparkly and she looked beautiful. Me? I was impersonating a stuffed penguin. “This tie is why I hate awards.”
Choo stood behind Angie. The guy looked like he was born wearing a tux. Not me. Man, I’d never been comfortable in one of these. Even when I was flying high, coked out of my mind, biggest star in the biz. Shit like this? Awards? Being recognized for my work or a performance gave me hives.
Angie rolled toward me and held up her hands. “Bend down. This isn’t why you hate awards. You hate awards because you hate people and you hate Los Angeles. Plus, you don’t like the idea of being recognized for anything you do. It’s basically a form of self-loathing.”
“Been reading Psychology Today again, I see.”
Angie smiled at me and pulled at the two ends of my bow tie. “It’s straight now.”
We could hear the muffled voice of the emcee through the backstage drapes. We could also hear the scrape and clink of spoons on dessert plates—the dinner was just about over.
“I’m just happy you two made it.” Choo pressed his hand to his heart. “I mean talk about cutting it close.”
“We left in plenty of time,” Angie explained, “but there was an accident on the 60. We sat there for almost three hours. I’m glad we decided to have Luis and Mary bring the animals in tomorrow.”
As it was, Angie and I had just barely made it to the hotel in time to change and rush backstage. Now we waited for the award presentations.
“I don’t even know who is presenting us with the award. Do you know?”
Choo and Angie exchanged a look. A hint of pink hit Angie’s cheeks. “Actually, I do, it’s—”
“Sophia Legend,” the emcee announced, the sound booming now from the other side of the curtain.
“What?” I whispered to Angie and Choo. “You didn’t tell me that Sophia was giving us the award.”
“That’s another thing, it’s actually not going to us.” Angie backed her wheelchair toward the exit. “It’s for you. And now that we have you here, I’m going to sit down out front.”
“You two are so on my shit list,” I whispered.
“Toodles!” Choo said and wheeled my big sis toward the side door that would lead around to the hall and then back into the ballroom. Those two would have a great view. They’d be able to watch me squirm in front of about five hundred people and the woman I was in love with. The woman who wanted no part of my lifestyle. Hell, she didn’t even want a relationship. She was a woman who would do anything for her career—which had included facing and conquering her biggest fear—a near phobia of dogs.
My gut tightened. I could hear Sophia making a speech. I couldn’t make out the words, but I could hear the tone and pitch of her voice. The warm lilt. I closed my eyes and pictured her smile, those beautiful lips. Laughter came from the crowd. They were eating whatever she was saying up. Of course they would. Not only was she Hollywood royalty, but she was smart and beautiful and articulate. I knew all about it. Sophia Legend was the whole package.
My heart pitched forward in my chest. Damn. I didn’t deserve the whole package. I didn’t deserve Sophia Legend. I couldn’t ask her to compromise her needs, her desires, her career. I had had my shot in the spotlight and I’d fucked it up.
“Yo, Trick, you’re up!” The stage manager with a headset tapped me on the shoulder and held back the curtain. I walked out into the spotlight. Blinded by the bright lights I turned and there was Sophia. Beautiful, stunning Sophia. I forced a smile onto my face and fought the urge to wrap my arm around her and wind my fingers through that black hair, five hundred people be damned. Instead I walked over to her and she handed me the statue. It was made of clear crystal and was oval-shaped with animals etched into the glass.
“Thank you,” I said, accepting the award.
She nodded. She smiled for the crowd but her eyes said something different. They mirrored my loss, my need, my desires. All I felt was confusion over how us being together would ever be likely or possible.
The words I said to the crowd behind the bright lights were a blur. I pulled a note card from my jacket and read what I’d written. People laughed, they clapped. I finished and then I took a deep breath and turned to leave the stage.
Sophia was gone.
“Thank you,” I said and then left the stage.
Sophia
I listened to every word Trick had said. Every word he’d written. Love shone from his face when he talked about Pawtown, and what he and Angie did there. I saw love and devotion and something else … a sense of peace.
My heart wrenched as I heard his words. I would never ask him to live in Los Angeles. I wou
ld never tell him that I had fallen in love with him. I would never have a love story with Trick Williams.
As he drew close to the end of his speech I slipped out the side door, down the long hall, and out the front door of the building. A car and driver waited for me. Choo had invited me for drinks at Soho House with him and Ellen, and Trick and Angie. Even Lane and Dillon and my half sister and Ryan were meant to show.
I settled into the leather seat and pressed my hand to my forehead. No. I couldn’t do it. While I was strong enough to walk away from him twice, I wasn’t strong enough to be able to sit at the same table as Trick and pretend I wasn’t in love with him. I wouldn’t be able to fake my feelings for five minutes.
What he did for the animals and for the families that became the animal’s forever homes? That was the real world. That was real change. That wasn’t playing pretend and playing dress-up for pretty pictures.
No, the world needed more men like Trick and I wasn’t about to try and take one away. The car rushed down Wilshire toward our condo. My phone chimed.
She’s here with us and I know she’d love to see you tomorrow.
The text was from Angie and she had attached a picture of Estrella beneath the words. I pressed my hand to my heart. My beautiful girl! Oh my goodness, she looked happy and healthy. Angie had sent me pictures all during Estrella’s recovery, but we’d been careful. I didn’t ask about Trick and she hadn’t offered any information. She knew. She knew that I loved him, otherwise Angie would have talked about Trick the same way she talked about Luis and Mary and Doc. But she hadn’t said a word about him.
I wasn’t planning on attending the adoption event tomorrow. I texted back. How can I refuse a face like that? Of course I had to go. I deleted the message before pressing send.
Air filled my lungs. Angie said that Estrella had a permanent pack at Pawtown and since she didn’t mention with whom, I knew Estrella had to be with Trick. The car pulled to a stop in front of our townhouse and the driver exited the car. I grabbed my clutch and withdrew my keys. The door opened, I looked up and there, standing beside my open car door, were Trick and a wiggling mass of fur.
“Estrella!”
She whined and placed her paws on the front of my gown. I didn’t care. I buried my face into her neck. “Oh, girl, Estrella. I’ve missed you.” She wiggled and her tail wagged.
“She needed to see you.” Trick reached his hand toward me and helped me from the car.
A tingle shot through my arm at his touch. My gaze locked with his. Heat burst through me. Why deny this feeling? This desire. I knew he felt it, too. A smile slid onto his face.
“We’ve still got it, Sophia.”
I couldn’t help but smile. He pushed the car door closed and rapped his knuckles on the roof. The black town car took off into the night. I stood on the curb, in front of my house, with the last person on earth I had expected to see. “Let’s take a walk.”
Estrella pranced between us on her leash. I slipped my heels off and held them in my hand. Estrella stopped a half block from my place and sniffed the air.
“Listen,” Trick said. “You being here, and me being there, isn’t working.”
“We haven’t spoken in nearly two months. You act like we have a relationship.”
“We don’t?” He raised his eyebrow and the corner of his mouth crooked upward. “You haven’t picked up the phone to text me or call me once in the last eight weeks?”
Heat flamed up my neck.
“I know because I’m nearly as stubborn as you, and I’m guessing if you picked up your phone to reach out a million times and then didn’t follow through, then I’ve picked up my phone a million more times.” He stepped closer to me. That heat. The heat, so constant between us. My belly clenched with desire.
“We can figure this out,” Trick said, his voice low. His gaze locked with mine. “Please, Sophia, let’s find a way to be together. I love you.”
My heart beat fast and my breath caught in my lungs. “I love you, too.”
Trick nodded. “I know.” He placed his fingers under my chin and tilted my face up to his. “Knowing that you love me, knowing that in my soul, was what kept me going over the last two months.”
This was Trick. The rich scent of him, male and outdoorsy and clean, filled my lungs. His lips, those lips that I’d kissed, were so close to mine. His eyes saw through every fib I tried to tell and he looked deep inside me. He was here, he was with me.
“You were scared to come to my party tonight?”
“I don’t get scared.”
“Yes, you do.” His lips were millimeters from my own. “But you always overcome your fears.”
Then his lips crushed mine and I closed my eyes. Fire burst through my body and I pressed my body to his. It had been so long. Too long. Any time without his touch was too long. I couldn’t pretend, I couldn’t ignore this and I didn’t want to anymore. I was ready to accept the truth.
His tongue slid between my lips and tangled with mine. I shoved my hands into his hair and kissed him back. I held back nothing. Every day we’d been apart, every moment that I’d longed for him, every time I thought of him poured into my kiss. Slowly he pulled away from me; his hand cupping my face.
“So you missed me?”
A smile pulled over my lips. “Yes,” I said. “I missed you.”
“I missed you, too.” He pressed his lips to the tip of my nose. “Let’s go inside and I’ll show you just how much I’ve missed you.”
A thrill curled my toes. My body clenched in response to his promise. Desire rippled through me. Please, yes. Let Trick show me how much he’d missed me and I would show him with every inch of my body how much I’d missed him. We clasped hands and walked up the pathway and into my home, with Estrella beside us. Without a word I took him into my townhouse. Carl bounded up to Estrella. They sniffed each other and then curled up side by side on the couch.
“Looks like she’s found her spot,” Trick said. He clasped my hand. I took him up the stairs and into my bedroom. There were no words needed. Not now. Not in this moment. All we had, all either of us needed or wanted, was to be present for what was to come.
His hands slid down the flesh of my bare arms. My whole body lit on fire. Then he gently placed his hands on my back and ever so slowly undid the zipper of my gown—down, down, down. I was quaking with desire and I could barely stand up.
All I felt was want, heat and a desperate need.
I closed my eyes. My nipples pulled tight, wanting his touch. My gown dropped to the floor and I stepped from the lush fabric.
“You are beyond beautiful,” Trick said. “Men would sell their souls for less.”
I opened my eyes and his gaze traveled over my flesh. It was like a hand, a caress, and the soft touch that I needed. I could never resist this man and wouldn’t ever want to.
His fingers reached out to me and traced a long slow line down my neck, over my shoulder and down to my breast. His fingers traced a circle around my nipple and my breath caught in my chest. I was so wet. I was wet and hungered for him. My breath was short and shallow. I stepped forward. I pressed his jacket over his shoulders and then unbuckled his belt. He was hard beneath the black fabric. My God, he was so hard. My sex clenched with the thought of his shaft sliding deep inside me.
He pulled off his tie and his shirt. I slid down his zipper and his pants dropped to the floor. Naked. His cock was thick and hard and I grasped him with both my hands and stroked him upward.
“Sophia,” he hissed out as his whole body tightened with my touch. His hands grasped my shoulders. He pulled me forward and his mouth was on mine. A hard kiss. A hungry kiss. A kiss that consumed us both. He turned me to the bed and pressed me back onto my mattress.
My body already ached for him. My sex was clenching for his cock. Many nights I’d wanted and lusted and had had no satisfaction and now, now in this moment, he was here as I’d wanted, as I’d dreamed. I was wet and hot. His lips trailed across my chest and he too
k my nipple into his mouth. His hand slid down to my sex. His fingertip pressed against my clit. A long slow circle. My hips thrust up.
God yes. Please, yes.
My gaze was locked to his face. My Trick. My lovely, lovely Trick. He pulled his mouth from my breast and looked at me. His pupils were wide, dilated with pleasure. Lust shadowed his face.
“I need you,” he said. His fingers circled my clit.
My hips pulsed up and a tiny helpless sound trilled from my lips. I wanted him. I wanted him to thrust deep inside me. I wanted to feel him let loose, to make me his, again.
“Please.” I was begging him.
“Let me get …” He reached for his pants.
“No,” I said. I clasped his ass and steadied him on top of me. I wanted him the way he was. I wanted to feel all of him, the heat of him. With a sudden tug he pulled me down to the center of the bed. His hands were full of strength. Trick was on top of me and his cock, hard as stone, pushed slowly into me.
My hands tightened on his ass. His eyes were fierce with need. He held nothing back and pushed deep and hard into me.
“Oh my God, Trick, yes,” I wailed.
A fury took over and he thrust, balls deep, into my body as my hips slid up to take him.
“Sophia, oh my Sophia,” he said. “You’re so hot. So wet.”
My body squeezed around him. My muscles tightening around his thick hard shaft. My orgasm building. He pulled back and thrust forward. His eyes still locked with mine. Again with a stronger pulse, a harder thrust. His cock hitting a spot within me that caused my body to writhe and tighten with need. He pulled back and slid his fingertip between us, a brief moment where he pressed against my clit. A tight circle.
“Trick,” I panted out, “I’m going to come.” My hips thrust up and he pressed hard into me. My body vibrated with wave after wave of pleasure. My orgasm exploding over and over.
“Fuck!” A growl deep from his throat burst out and his hands grasped my hips as he pounded into me with deep thrusts. Each stroke making my orgasm deeper and harder.