Witness

by Mandasue Heller

  ‘It’s OK. I’m fine on my own.’

  ‘Is that a dig?’ Josie’s smile morphed into a frown.

  ‘Eh?’ Holly pulled a face. ‘What you on about?’

  ‘You saying you’re fine on your own. Like I’m never here.’

  You’re not! Holly thought.

  ‘I didn’t mean it like that,’ she said, scenting alcohol on her mum’s breath and realizing that it wasn’t water in the glass. ‘I meant I’m OK with things as they are, so you don’t need to worry about me.’

  Josie’s expression softened as quickly as it had hardened and she leaned over and squeezed Holly’s hand, purring, ‘You’re a good girl, Holly Wolly. And you know I’d spend more time with you if I could, don’t you?’

  ‘Yeah, I know,’ Holly said, wishing she’d shut up and concentrate on the film. She always got like this when she’d been drinking, and it was exhausting having to walk on eggshells to avoid saying the wrong thing. She just hoped it wasn’t becoming a problem again, because this was the third time in a week that she’d seen her mum drinking during the day. The last time it had got out of hand her mum had gone on a three-day bender with a bloke who lived in the next-door flat at one of their previous addresses, and the pair had got into a massive fight over whose turn it was to pay for the next bottle, culminating in windows getting smashed, the police turning up, and the landlord turfing them out. Her mum had promised never to get in that state again – and, so far, she’d kept to her word. But if she was sliding back into her old ways, Holly didn’t know what she would do.

  ‘Oh, here we go,’ Josie said, sloshing liquid out of the glass as she pointed at another woman who had appeared on the TV screen. ‘She’s the new hubby’s ex, and she—’

  ‘Mum, just let me watch it,’ Holly groaned.

  ‘Well, pardon me for trying to bring you up to speed,’ Josie huffed, a look of indignation on her face as she raised the glass to her lips.

  The silence only lasted as long as the film did, and Holly felt like she was being tortured when another oldie came on and her mum immediately started a new running commentary.

  Hours that felt like an absolute eternity later, Josie headed off to work, at last. The vodka bottle was empty by then and she’d been a little unsteady on her feet as she leaned over the back of the sofa to kiss Holly goodbye – something she only ever did when she was pissed. But she’d walked a reasonably straight line to the door, so Holly figured she’d be OK.

  As soon as she was alone, Holly switched the TV off and went to her room with her mum’s voice echoing in her head. Still fully clothed, she climbed into bed and checked her phone to see if Bex had messaged or tried to call. There was nothing from Bex, but Suzie had sent two messages: the first asking if she was OK, the second inviting her to go over if she fancied a chat. The only person Holly wanted to chat to was Bex, so she swiped the messages off the screen without replying and logged into her Facebook account.

  Bex had been online posting photos of herself and Julie at the art exhibition, and Holly’s lip curled as she scrolled through them. They looked like a pair of TOWIE wannabes with their ridiculous fake-tans and duck-lips, and it was obvious they were filtered, contrary to Bex’s claim that she never filtered her selfies.

  She’d posted loads of photos of the so-called artwork, but Holly thought it looked more like the graffiti that was spray-painted all over the estate than Banksy’s stuff. Bex had gushed that it was all ‘Shamaaaazing’, and Julie had commented on every post, even though she was right there and could easily have shared her thoughts with Bex in person. But that was them all over: anything to get a few stupid Facebook likes. It was pathetic, and Holly closed the page down in disgust and pulled her duvet over her head.

  12

  Suzie had been thinking about Holly all afternoon. The girl still hadn’t answered her texts and she was worried about her, so when she saw her mum heading out to work, she rang her.

  Holly picked up on the fourth ring, and murmured a wan, ‘Hello?’

  ‘Hi, hon, it’s Suzie,’ she said. ‘Didn’t you get my messages?’

  ‘Oh, yeah. Sorry. I’m not well, so I’m in bed.’

  ‘Why, what’s wrong?’

  ‘I feel sick.’

  ‘Oh, you poor thing. When did that come on?’

  ‘Earlier.’

  ‘Are you sure you’re not just fretting about what happened with those girls?’ Suzie asked, cutting to the chase. ‘Because you know they’re probably slagging you off right now while you’re lying there feeling sorry for yourself, don’t you?’

  ‘Bex is my best mate, she’d never slag me off,’ Holly said miserably.

  ‘You don’t believe that any more than I do,’ said Suzie. Then, more gently, because Holly sounded so unhappy, she said, ‘Why don’t you forget about them and come over here and chill with me for a bit? I’ve been cooking, and there’s way too much for me on my own.’

  ‘I can’t,’ Holly said, her voice muffled by the quilt she was hiding beneath. ‘I’m not allowed out when my mum’s at work.’

  ‘What time does she come home?’

  ‘Depends how many shifts she’s got.’ Holly sniffed. ‘Sometimes two-ish, sometimes five or six.’

  ‘Ah, you’ve got hours yet,’ Suzie said. ‘And you’d be doing me a massive favour, ’cos I could really use the company,’ she added. ‘You’re my only friend round here, and I didn’t realize it’d be so lonely without Rob. Please, hon. I hate being on my own.’

  Holly stayed quiet for a moment. Then, sighing, she said, ‘OK.’

  ‘Thank you so much,’ Suzie said gratefully. ‘I’ll leave the door on the latch; come straight in.’

  Nervous, because it was the first time she had ever defied her mum and gone out at night, Holly pulled the hood of her jacket up over her head when she crept out of the flats a few minutes later. Scuttling across the road, she gave a tiny knock on Suzie’s door before going inside. The warmth hit her as soon as she entered the hallway, and she picked up on the delicious scent of food coming from the kitchen.

  ‘That was fast,’ Suzie said, appearing in the kitchen doorway. ‘Take your shoes off and go make yourself comfortable while I plate up. And I hope you’re hungry, ’cos there’s loads.’

  Embarrassed when her stomach rumbled loudly in reply, Holly looped her jacket over a peg and then slipped her trainers off before heading into the living room. A black leather settee was positioned against the wall facing the window, and a matching armchair sat in the corner. The floor was laminated, and a flat-screen TV was attached to the wall above the fireplace. Holly and her mum had moved around a lot over the years, carting their possessions from one filthy dump to the next – usually in the middle of the night, when their rent arrears had caught up with them and the bailiffs were breathing down their necks. But they’d never lived in a house as nice or as clean as this one.

  ‘Here we go.’ Suzie came in carrying two plates, and handed one to Holly before taking a seat on the sofa. ‘It’s chicken korma. Hope you like it.’

  ‘Thanks,’ Holly said, sitting down and carefully balancing the plate on her lap. Used to the bland microwave meals and frozen foods her mum bought, she was surprised by how good the curry tasted: spicy, but not too hot, with tender chunks of chicken and a heap of fluffy rice.

  ‘Is it OK?’ Suzie asked, watching as Holly tucked in.

  ‘Mmmm.’ Holly covered her full mouth with her hand and quickly swallowed. ‘It’s great. Did you make it yourself?’

  ‘Sure did.’ Suzie smiled. ‘I’ll give you the recipe, if you like?’

  Holly nodded, but she knew she would never attempt to cook it. She could just about cope with frozen pizzas and oven chips, let alone mess about with real meat and rice.

  They ate on in silence, and when they’d finished Suzie took their plates into the kitchen. She came back carrying two glasses and a bottle of white wine.

  ‘How old are you?’ she asked as she sat down.

  ‘Fifteen,�
� said Holly. ‘But I’ll be sixteen in two months.’

  ‘That’s old enough for one little glass,’ Suzie said. ‘If you want one?’

  ‘Yes, please,’ said Holly.

  ‘I’m surprised you’re only fifteen,’ Suzie said, pouring two glasses and passing one over before settling back in her seat. ‘You seem very mature for your age.’

  Tickled by the compliment, Holly smiled as she took a sip of wine. She’d had alcohol before, when Kelly had nicked a bottle of brandy off her mum and brought it into school. She, Kelly and Bex had polished it off in the toilets at lunchtime, and she’d been sent home after puking her guts up in maths that afternoon. The teacher had thought it was a stomach bug, so she hadn’t got into trouble, but the hangover had been punishment enough and she’d vowed never to drink again. She was sure one glass of wine wouldn’t hurt her, though.

  ‘So what was all that about earlier?’ Suzie asked, kicking off her slippers and pulling her feet up under her. ‘Did you say one of those girls is supposed to be your best mate?’

  ‘Yeah, Bex.’ Holly’s smile slipped.

  ‘Hey, don’t go down on me again,’ Suzie said, lighting a cigarette. ‘I’m only asking ’cos I saw them walking off after you went inside, and they didn’t look that bothered about upsetting you.’

  ‘It was all Julie’s fault,’ Holly muttered. ‘She follows Bex round like a dog, then accuses me of being a lesbo. And she proper thinks she’s gorgeous,’ she added bitterly.

  ‘I take it that’s the one with the extensions?’ Suzie asked. ‘I clocked that about her as soon as I saw her. She’s like all the fake bitches I’ve worked with on the modelling circuit.’

  ‘Oh, are you a model?’ Holly asked. ‘I did wonder when I saw that.’ She nodded at a large framed photograph on the wall, in which Suzie was reclining on a chaise longue wearing a red satin bra and panties. ‘It’s really nice.’

  ‘It’s all right,’ Suzie said modestly. ‘It’s from a shoot I did for a lingerie company. They didn’t end up using me, but Rob liked that picture, so I had it blown up and framed for him.’

  ‘How come it’s got no glass?’ Holly asked.

  ‘Because Rob threw his phone at me, but I ducked and it hit that instead.’

  ‘Why’s he so horrible to you?’

  ‘Because he’s a knob,’ Suzie sneered. Then, sighing, she said, ‘He wasn’t always like that. I’d been in a few crap relationships before I met him, but he was so sweet and I honestly thought we were good together. I should have finished it the first time he put his hands on me, but we live and learn.’

  ‘Do you still love him?’ Holly asked, taking another sip of wine.

  ‘I know I shouldn’t after everything he’s done, but yes, I have still got feelings for him,’ Suzie admitted. ‘You’ve only seen the bad side of him, but he can be lovely when he wants to be.’

  ‘Is he in prison?’ Holly relaxed back against the cushions as the wine began to soften her edges.

  ‘As far as I know he’s still on remand,’ Suzie said, twisting round in her seat and resting her elbow on the back of the sofa. ‘But enough about him. Finish telling me about the argument with your friends.’

  ‘Julie started it,’ Holly said. ‘Bex was supposed to be coming over to spend the day with me, ’cos she’s been dying to meet my neighbour. But she tagged along, even though she knows I can’t stand her.’

  ‘Why did Bex want to meet your neighbour?’ Suzie asked.

  ‘’Cos he’s the spit of Zayn,’ Holly said. ‘Zayn Malik,’ she elaborated when Suzie gave her a blank look. ‘He used to be in One Direction, and me and Bex fancied him like mad. Well, Bex more than me, but he is gorgeous. And my neighbour looks like him, only younger and fitter.’

  ‘Ah, yeah, I think I know who you mean,’ Suzie said. ‘So did Bex get to meet him?’

  ‘Yeah, but it didn’t go how she expected,’ Holly snorted. ‘She was convinced he would fall for her as soon as he met her, but she made a right tit of herself.’ Blushing, she murmured, ‘Sorry, I mean she made a fool of herself.’

  ‘Don’t censor yourself on my account, hon,’ Suzie laughed. ‘I swear like a trooper when I get going. So what did she do?’

  ‘She dragged me over to him, but he didn’t see us coming and they banged into each other. She fell over, then got all flirty when he helped her up. Julie started gobbing off and asked him for his phone number – in case Bex got concussion, or something stupid like that. But then his girlfriend turned up and went for her.’

  ‘Oh, wow, how did I miss that?’

  ‘It was before you came out. Zayn – I mean Gee – stopped the girl from attacking Julie, so she punched him instead. He pushed her away and she fell over, and then her friends turned up and she started crying and begging him to take her back. But he wasn’t having any of it.’

  ‘Good for him,’ Suzie said approvingly. ‘So what happened then?’

  ‘Her friends took her away and he walked off. Then Bex said she wanted to go, so I started walking with them. But Julie said they had plans and I wasn’t invited. She said they wouldn’t have come if I hadn’t lied about being mates with Gee. And then she said Bex is ashamed of me and only hangs round with me ’cos she feels sorry for me.’

  ‘Nasty little cow.’ Suzie tutted. ‘No wonder you got so upset. I’d have given her what for if I’d heard any of that.’

  ‘She’d only have slagged you off as well,’ Holly said. ‘She called you a slapper when you came out and waved to me earlier.’

  ‘Did she now?’ Suzie raised an eyebrow. ‘Well, she’d best not come round here again, or your neighbour’s crazy girlfriend will be the least of her worries. It really pissed me off when I heard them taking the mick out of you after you ran inside, and I’ll be giving that little madam a piece of my mind if I ever see her again.’

  ‘Why, what were they saying?’

  ‘That Julie one was imitating you in a baby voice, and Bex was laughing like it was a big joke. I could have slapped the pair of them. Wish I had now.’

  Upset to hear that Bex had laughed at her after reducing her to tears, Holly took a slug of wine to wash the bitter taste out of her mouth.

  ‘Girls like them are why I’ve always preferred hanging out with boys,’ Suzie went on as she reached for the bottle to refill her glass. ‘Subject of, have you got a boyfriend?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘I’m surprised. Pretty girl like you.’

  ‘I’m not pretty.’ Holly blushed.

  ‘Yes, you are,’ Suzie insisted. ‘You’ve got beautiful eyes and a lovely smile.’

  Flattered, but sure that Suzie was only saying it to make her feel better, Holly gazed at the photo on the wall again, and asked, ‘Have you been modelling for long?’

  ‘Years,’ Suzie said. ‘Would you like to see some of my other photos?’ Smiling when Holly nodded, she said, ‘I keep them in my wardrobe; just give me a minute while I dig them out.’

  ‘Would you mind if I use the loo?’ Holly asked as Suzie got up.

  ‘’Course not,’ Suzie said, already heading for the stairs. ‘Come on, I’ll show you where it is.’

  13

  Still in her bedroom when Holly came out of the bathroom, her arms full of photograph albums, Suzie called, ‘Give me a hand with these, hon. I’d forgotten how heavy they are.’

  Seizing the opportunity to see the bedroom, because she would never have dreamed of asking to be shown around, Holly walked into the room and gazed around. A fitted wardrobe with mirrored doors ranged across one entire wall, and the bed that was facing it had a fancy satin duvet cover and matching pillowcases. A vanity unit with a large oval mirror sat below the window, and numerous bottles of expensive-looking perfumes were standing on it.

  ‘Wow, this is lovely,’ she said.

  ‘It’s the landlord’s furniture, not mine,’ Suzie said, dropping the albums onto the bed. ‘We might as well look through these now you’re here,’ she said, perching on the bed and patting
for Holly to sit beside her. ‘Save me having to lug them all back up later.’

  When Holly was seated, Suzie opened one of the albums and showed Holly a set of shots in which she was dressed in sportswear.

  ‘This was a campaign I did for the Littlewoods catalogue last year,’ she said.

  ‘Really?’ Holly was impressed. ‘They’re amazing.’

  ‘It wasn’t that big a deal, to be honest. But it paid well, so I can’t complain,’ Suzie said. ‘This is the type of work I prefer.’ She flipped to another page. ‘It was a Fendi campaign, and they flew me to Paris for the weekend.’

  ‘Wow,’ Holly murmured, gazing at the photos in awe. In these, Suzie was wearing a variety of glamorous dresses, and she looked absolutely stunning with her glossy hair coiled up and her make-up immaculate. ‘Are you a supermodel?’ she asked.

  ‘I wish,’ Suzie laughed, reaching for her glass.

  ‘You should be,’ Holly said, looking through the rest of the photos. ‘You’re way prettier than any of the models I’ve seen in magazines.’

  ‘That’s very sweet,’ Suzie said. ‘But if you think I look good, you should see some of the other girls I’ve worked with. And by girls I mean kids, ’cos you’ve got to be fourteen and skinny as a rake to get anywhere these days.’

  ‘You’re not giving up, are you?’ Holly asked, thinking she would be crazy to do that.

  ‘I don’t have a lot of choice at my age,’ Suzie said resignedly. ‘But even if I can’t get work, I’ve got a good eye for talent, so I’ve decided to set up my own agency. It’s a vicious world for young girls to be getting into, but with my experience I’ll be able to keep them away from the sharks. Obviously I won’t be able to compete with the established agencies, because they use professional photographers and stylists, and I can’t afford to do that. But I’m pretty good with hair and make-up, and I’ve got a decent camera, so now I just need to find a model who’s willing to let me practise on her to get me started. Hey, maybe you could help me with that?’

  ‘Me?’ Holly was confused.

  ‘Yeah, you could be my practice model.’