The Wolf Inside Me (BBW Paranormal Shape Shifter Romance)

by Celene Lowe

  "Out of this town?" he repeated, leaning forward like I had confessed to some unthinkable crime. "Like, literally?" His green eyes were incredulous.

  "Literally," I sighed, looking around to make sure my mother didn't see me. I dropped down into a crouch, holding on to the table to balance myself. His words were calming me, to the point where I couldn't believe how brazen I was being. But this man was making me feel things I had never felt before. He leaned forward and I saw a pop of muscle stretching the shoulders of his plaid shirt. Like it was barely able to contain the strength underneath. "Been here my whole life and never been past the sawmill on route 8," I sighed again. These confessions should have been embarrassing, but I just felt so comfortable.

  "But I bet you've been all over the town itself, right?" he prompted. "And the mountain?"

  I shook my head slowly. "Nope."

  He widened his green eyes and leaned forward some more, moving so close to me that I could feel the heat rising off of his body. A lock of deep chestnut brown hair flopped forward over his eyes and I ached to comb it back into place with my fingers. When I saw my hands rising of their own accord to do just that, I had to forcibly press them to my thighs.

  He was talking and I wasn't hearing a word he was saying. "...up there. You would need to have someone who knows the woods of course. But you should really get up there before the snow flies. It's breathtaking. The woods are my home."

  As he spoke his eyes gleamed for a moment, just the briefest flash of eyeshine. I was reminded of the flash of an animal's eyes caught in the headlights on a dark road. Except that it wasn't the fearful look of a deer. It was something much more assured. Predatory, even.

  I shivered.

  "Yes, I'd love to."

  When I heard the words it was like they had come from someone else's mouth. I listened to myself agree to go on a hike with this random, shaggy haired, gleaming eyed man and I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

  But the man grinned ear to ear. I saw him flick his tongue over his teeth, like he was scenting the air for just a moment. And then it was gone, replaced with a wide, open, happy grin. He extended his hand. "I'm Zev."

  "Selina," I blinked, not trusting my eyes with him anymore. What had I just seen?

  "Selina," Zev leaned back in the booth and I was suddenly aware of his silent, hulking companions again. I stretched back up to a stand, brushing the fabric of my one pair of khakis back down over my thighs. "I'm going to take you on a hike, show you your own back yard. You need to know how beautiful it is up there."

  I looked at the four huge men. They were loggers, I was sure of it. "Doesn't your job kind hurt that beauty?" I couldn't help but ask.

  His eyes flashed again, and this time his companions looked up too. And I swear on my life, it was that same predatory gleam from all four of them, an emerald fire that blazed upwards brightly and then was extinguished just as quickly. "I suppose it does," Zev growled, and I heard a similar low sound from the throats of the three other men.

  I backed away slowly, not really understanding what had just happened. I trod on a booted foot and nearly squeaked in fear. "Sorry," I gasped and hurried back behind the bar where it was familiar and safe.

  "Where the fuck you been, girl?" My mother was so livid her normally sallow face was as purple as an eggplant. "I'm not paying you to be flaunting your tits to the customers!"

  I closed my eyes and exhaled, trying to shake off the unsettled feeling that still lingered. I needed to be on my toes when it came to her. I never knew when the next blow might land. My mother's obsession with the idea that I was a slut was part of the reason I was still a virgin. "I wasn't flaunting," I muttered under my breath, feeling those tears prick my eyes again. I bent my head to the cabinets under the bar to count pint glasses and regain my composure.

  When closing time finally, blessedly, rolled around, my mother shouted for last call, the veins sticking out of her neck as she screeched above the din. I busied myself at the taps, gratefully pouring out the last pints of the night. My feet were aching, every step felt like I was stepping into fire.

  I was concentrating on the pain in my feet and not on the counter, so when the giant form appeared in front of me, I startled so much that I sloshed the pint I was pouring. "Oh!" I squeaked. "You scared me!"

  Zev grinned that wide-open grin again, but this time I felt I had to strain to see it. He was so much taller than I had realized! Why did he look so much taller? He absolutely towered above me, and with his absurdly broad shoulders squared, he stood as if he was planted there like a giant tree. For the first time in my life, I felt petite.

  "Didn't mean to," he smiled. "Just wanted to nail you down."

  "What?" I gasped.

  "For our hike?"

  "Oh!" I was stuttering, so I felt it best to stick to only one syllable at a time.

  He looked off in the distance, musing. "I was thinking of taking tomorrow off anyway. How does that sound? Can you make it?"

  I shot a look over my shoulder to where my mother was wiping glasses. No, no I couldn't. She would have a fit. "Sure," I heard myself say.

  "Great!" Zev smiled that smile again and once more I had to prevent myself from reaching out to touch him. "I'll pick you up. Where should I come?"

  "Here," I said hastily. I didn't want him seeing my mother's and my squalid trailer. "I'll meet you here in the morning."

  "Bright and early," he said. "We'll want to make the most of the day."

  I nodded dumbly. "Okay," I agreed.

  He grabbed my hand in his, completely enveloping it. Brushing it idly past his lips, he set it back down on the bar, then turned and nodded to his three companions. They all strode out together, all immensely tall, all with similarly shaggy brown hair. I realized my heart was thumping loudly, along with an insistent pulse that sounded through my body like the beating of a drum. I turned away quickly before my blush could consume me.

  Chapter Four

  Zev

  He was running, covering the distance from the logging site easily on four legs. His paws crunched heavily through the leaves as he heard his three companions huffing behind him.

  They had almost been caught. Shifting into human form at night, in the woods, made Zev nervous even when they weren't in danger of being shot at. His human form was so vulnerable to the silliest things. With no fur to protect him from the cold, no tough footpads to protect his feet and no sharp claws to protect his packmates, he felt like a prey animal instead of the predator he was.

  But they needed their human hands to be able to open the hoods of the bulldozers. And they needed their human thumbs to be able to remove the spark plugs.

  So he stood naked in the forest, ignoring the buzz of mosquitos in his ears, cursing his weak human eyesight as he sabotaged the loggers' machines by the light of the moon.

  "Guard's coming!" Gray shouted in his mind.

  Zev let the hood slam shut and shoved the sparkplug into his mouth. Then he dropped to all fours.

  He let his wolf explode outward, feeling his muscles stretch and grow, feeling the power surge through him shooting out from his core to elongate his teeth and sharpen his claws. The fur covered his back first and he was grateful for the warmth. Instantly he could see better, and he could hear the thoughts of his packmates as crystal clear as his own. And the thoughts were telling him to run.

  He barreled through the woods with the sparkplug still held in his teeth. He wasn't sure why he was still holding it, other than the vague notion to get it as far away from where it would be found as possible. He felt Gray, Marrok and Dolf shift and follow behind him, and then he heard the shots ring out in the dark.

  He could taste Dolf's pain before he heard the whine. "What happened?" he thought to him.

  "I'm okay." Dolf's thoughts were rueful. "Bastard nicked my ass."

  Gray laughed in their minds. "Lucky shot."

  "It hurts, you dick."

  Marrok interrupted. "Head to the lake."

  Zev agre
ed and the four wolves covered the distance quickly, putting miles between them and the logging site in mere minutes. When they reached the lake, Dolf dove in panting and Zev felt his relief as the cool water bathed his wound.

  Zev sat back on his hind legs. With a flick of his head, he tossed the spark plug into the black depths.

  "There," he thought to the group. "Nice work up there."

  "Hope it's enough," Gray thought sourly.

  Zev sat back on his haunches and looked out over the moonlit lake. The surface glimmered with pale light out there in the center, but the shores were dark with the shadows of the tall pines. The mountain rose steeply upward, muscling its way to the starlit sky.

  This was his home. His life was tied to this land. But a faint scent hanging in the air, far off as a distant memory, called to him from the town down below. His mate was there, trapped in her human form. Tomorrow he would show her what it meant to be a wolf.

  Tomorrow he would claim her as his.

  Chapter Five

  Selina

  I was in the woods, moving quickly past the dark trees, faster and more easily than I had ever moved before. There was someone beside me, someone I knew as well as myself, and we moved in tandem over the forest floor that was stippled with patches of sunlight. I heard my companion's thoughts and I agreed, and the two of us loped towards the smell of fresh water. The trees opened up to reveal a pristine mountain lake reflecting the blue of the sky. And then my companion let out a howl that lasted longer and louder as the shards of my dream drifted apart and the howl of the chainsaws took over.

  The howl continued upon my waking and I realized it was real. I wasn't loping easily through the forest. The knowledge made me want to cry, until I remembered today was the day of my hike with Zev.

  The woods scared me. I hadn't admitted that to myself until just now. The edge of town was like a border between the known world and the primal unknown that lurked in the shadows. I was about to be stepping over that edge with a man I had only just met. A huge, powerfully built man with gleaming green eyes.

  Was I completely mad?

  The answer was yes, I told myself. Ever since I had seen him, the crawlies were the worst they had ever been. I was desperate for something I couldn't name. I only knew he was the one who could give it to me.

  I dressed quickly, debating over T-shirts before choosing my favorite cornflower blue one that exactly matched the shade of my eyes. I fluffed my dark brown hair before pulling it back into a ponytail. I didn't want to get it tangled in the branches of the trees.

  Standing in my bedroom doorway, I peeked around the corner into my mother’s filthy room. The door was slightly ajar and I could see her bare foot dangling off of her sagging bed. Good, she was hungover. I hoped the noise of the chainsaws was hurting her head.

  In two steps I was out the front door. I turned to catch the screen door before it banged shut, the habit of years of caution.

  This was it. I held the door delicately in place and took a deep breath.

  As I stepped across the muddy dirt patch that served as our lawn, I paused. The world seemed suddenly drained of sound. I looked around wildly until I realized that the chainsaws had stopped. They were usually our accompaniment from dawn to dusk. Without them I briefly wondered if I had gone deaf.

  I picked my way across the lot to the bar, wishing that I had better shoes than the beat up old sneakers I was wearing. If Zev really was the outdoorsman he seemed to be, he probably had all the latest gear. The thought embarrassed me.

  Rounding the corner to the front of the bar, I was startled to see a pickup already pulling into the lot. We didn't open for another four hours, what were loggers doing here already?

  “Good morning, sweetheart. You’re an early riser!” one of them called out to me.

  “I’ve got an early riser for you right here!” shouted another, jumping down from the cab and grabbing his crotch.

  I sniffed. They were angry and confused. That was never a good combination. I swallowed and smiled sweetly, backing away as I did so. The crawling sensation heightened until my foot connected with something solid.

  I shrieked.

  "You okay?" Zev's strong arms shot out, grabbing me before I could trip and fall.

  I looked up at him. Where had he come from? Where was his car? How did a big man move so silently?

  "Shit," I heard one of the loggers swear. "Bar's closed."

  "Guess we're cooling our heels until the parts come in," called the one who had grabbed his crotch.

  "I swear to god, I just replaced those spark plugs. Callahan's gonna fire my ass and it ain't even my fault. I need a fucking drink. Hey girlie, you work here? Open up, willya?"

  "You ready, Selina?" Zev put his hand on my arm and pulled me gently. I saw the jaws of the other loggers drop. Their eyes bored into my back as Zev gently pulled me around and began walking away.

  "I'd apologize for those guys, but I take no responsibility for them in the first place," he said grimly, shoving his huge hands into the pocket of his down jacket. His stride was so long I had to hurry to stay next to him.

  "I'm used to it," I panted.

  "Oh," he stopped. "I'm sorry, I'll slow down."

  "Where's your car?" I gasped.

  He grinned. "No cars. Kinda defeats the whole magic of being in the woods if you drive to get there."

  I looked in the direction of the mountain. The peak was dusted with snow and the dark pinewoods looked far off and forbidding. The crawling sensations inside of me intensified. I was suddenly panicked, not understanding what was happening to me. "What about food?"

  "There's food," he said.

  "Water, did you bring water?"

  "I can get you water."

  "It's so far!"

  He held out his hand. "Selina, I promise I will take good care of you."

  I lifted my hand and he snatched it up. Once more my entire hand was swallowed in his. The skin was dry and cool, but there was a heat underneath it, like the burning embers underneath the coals of a dying fire. I swore I could feel the beat of his pulse everywhere around me.

  "Okay," I breathed. With his hand holding mine, my insides were suddenly quiet. I felt safer than I had in years. Holding on to him, I felt strong and brave and ready to go out into the unknown. "Okay, I trust you."

  There was that same predatory gleam in his eye, but this time it didn't scare me at all.

  Chapter Six

  Selina

  We had lost the trail hours ago, but as long as I kept Zev's strong back in my vision, I knew I would be fine.

  The man walked through the woods like he owned them. He loped easily over the ground, moving with an athletic grace that belied his huge frame. The slight fright that licked at the edges of my senses was eased away whenever I watched him, so I kept him firmly in my sights and found myself unconsciously mimicking his easy gait. I threw my shoulders back and inhaled the scents of the forest. The clear, sweet air unknotted something that had been tangled underneath my breastbone for a very long time. Possibly my whole life. Each step was a step towards freedom.

  I inhaled deeply, trying to identify the different scents. There was the smell of pine, of course, and the deep, rich scents of decaying leaves on the forest floor. There was the smell of the chill in the air right along side the sun warmed chlorophyll scents of the still green leaves. We were gaining elevation gradually, picking our way over ancient strewn boulders and over the thick, gnarled roots of ancient trees.

  Zev scrambled up to the top of one of the bigger boulders. I paused to watch him turn this way and that. His shaggy hair ruffled in the slight breeze and I swear I saw him turn into the direction of the wind and sniff. I heard a low sound come from his direction.

  "Selina?" His voice was sharp. It was the first time we had spoken in a while and the way he said my name was alarming.

  I hurried over to the boulder, but I couldn't pull myself up. "Zev?" I heard a note of panic in my voice. Tension was radiating off o
f him.

  He knelt down and grabbed my hand. I felt myself lifted easily, landing on the top of the boulder, suddenly startled by how high we were above the forest floor. The great expanse of trees swept out ahead of us like a great carpet. "Are we lost?" I gulped, feeling slightly panicked at the sight of that green ocean.

  "Of course not," he rumbled.

  "Then why are you nervous?" I asked.

  He looked at me sharply. "Why do you think I'm nervous?"

  I fluttered my hands again. His nearness was making it almost impossible not to reach out and touch him. "Your eyes," I answered lamely, even though tension was written in every muscle of his body.

  He inhaled again. "I'm not nervous," he rumbled, his voice a low growl that rippled through me like water. "We just need to move faster."

  "Why?"

  He paused, his green eyes moving over me like he was trying to figure something out. "Because," he finally replied. "This isn't our territory."

  "What?"

  But he was already leaping down to the other side of the boulder. I leaned over the edge and looked down at him. He was waiting, expectantly.