Tony smiled in relief. "Yes. I'd love to."
As Bobby watched the English couple make their way onto the dance floor, he frowned. Sarah had never mentioned Tony to him. But he could see from Tony’s reaction and Sarah’s nervousness that there had once been something special between them. As he watched them in each other’s arms they looked right together, and he worried that he might be about to lose the English girl who had stolen his heart.
Tony took Sarah in his arms and began to move to the rhythm.
"That American seems a nice enough chap."
"Yes, he is."
"How long have you known him?" Tony tried to make the question sound casual but Sarah noted the tension in his voice.
"About two months."
Two months! His heart sank. No wonder they seemed so at ease together. How could he have been so foolish as to think that she would wait for him until he was able to tell her the truth about himself? As he looked down at the girl in his arms, he realised that the very things that attracted him to her were what the American found so attractive too. He tried to smile.
"You seem to get on well with him."
"Yes, he's fun to be with."
"You know,” Tony frowned. "I'm sure he reminds me of someone."
"Yes. Joe."
As Sarah said the name, his heart sank. Yes, of course. He had only seen Joe once from a distance, but he could see the similarity. If he was so much like her fiancé, it was no wonder that she wanted to be with him. He had never thought that the dead man would come back to haunt him, but it seemed that he had. Tony knew he could not compete. It looked as though he had lost her forever. He smiled, a sad smile that did not hide the pain in his eyes, and Sarah felt her heart go out to him.
"I suppose I'd better get back to base."
"Surely you don't have to leave yet."
"I don't want to intrude on your evening with Bobby."
Sarah looked over at the American where he sat at the table anxiously watching the dancers, and then turned her attention back to Tony. Bobby never made her feel the way she felt with Tony. But at least with him she was safe, and that was how she wanted to feel right now.
"Bobby won't mind if you join us."
"I think he will." Tony stopped dancing and stepped back, breaking the contact with Sarah. "Can I still write to you?"
"Of course. And please keep visiting me."
He shrugged his shoulders. "If I can." He was not sure that he wanted to. Sarah seemed to have made her choice and it was not up to him to try to change her mind. He felt as though his heart would break, and he knew he would have to leave before he made a fool of himself. He looked back at the American. He seemed a decent enough fellow. Maybe he was just the man to make Sarah happy, something he had never been able to do himself.
“Goodbye, Sarah. Be happy."
He turned and walked away. Sarah stood and watched him, an island of stillness in the midst of the dancers, not noticing the worried glance that Bobby threw at her. She knew that Tony was not the man for her, but it hurt to finally admit that their relationship was over. As she watched him walk away, she felt as though her future was leaving with him, and she wondered if she was doing the right thing. Still, it was done now, and her future was about to take a new direction. She watched the door close behind Tony, then turned back towards the table where Bobby waited for her. It was as though she had turned her back on a storm tossed sea and turned her face towards a safe harbour. She smiled as she made her way back towards the American. Sometimes the most difficult decisions were made for the best, and she had just made hers. No longer would she allow Tony to dominate her thoughts and her heart, now she would link her life to someone who could make her happy. As she reached the table, she leant down and kissed Bobby on the cheek.
"Will you dance with me?"
He stood without speaking and took her in his arms, a smile of happiness wiping away the anxiety. She had sent the Englishman away, and now her future belonged to him.
129
The war continued to ebb and flow back and forth across the world. The Allies made advances only to meet setbacks at a later date. The biggest setback in 1943 was the final withdrawal of British forces from Burma, leaving the Far Eastern theatre mainly to the campaigning of the Americans who still held a savage hate in their hearts for the Japanese who had bombed Pearl Harbour. On the Eastern Front, things were beginning to go well for Russia at last. Although the siege of Leningrad which had begun in September 1941 still continued, the Russian victory at Stalingrad in March gave new hope to the Russian people. In July a seven day tank battle between the Germans and the Russians took place at Kursk, leaving the Germans defeated and in retreat. In their rear, the Russians began an offensive towards Germany itself. The North African war reached its climax at the end of May, when the Allies entered Tunis on the 8th. The remaining Axis troops surrendered on the 13th. War in North Africa was over at last, ending in triumph for the Allies who used it as a stepping-off point for an attack on the southern extremities of Europe. In July the Allies invaded Sicily, taking Palermo in only ten days and causing King Victor Emmanuel III to dismiss the dictator Mussolini. At the beginning of September Montgomery landed in southern Italy and the heart went out of the Italian people, who surrendered on the 8th. But the German troops in Italy fought on. The battles raged for the remainder of the year, the Germans fighting every step of the way along the road of their retreat while the indigenous population watched, no longer involved in a war which still ravaged their homeland. By the end of the year, the Allies were still eighty miles short of Rome. But their eventual victory seemed certain, particularly now that the Allied bombing of the Ruhr, which had begun in March and continued throughout the rest of the year, was continuing to disrupt Germany’s capacity to wage war.
130
The sound of machine guns to his right caused Bobby to duck his head, until his face was almost touching the grass. He inched forward on his elbows and knees, dragging his rifle clumsily beside him. The pack on his back was barely an inch below the barbed wire criss-crossing the air above him. To his right and left, other soldiers in American uniform were crawling forward. Dirt and stones showered down on them as mortar fire landed close by, causing the earth to erupt into geysers of dust, dirt and clumps of grass. Somewhere ahead of them, a sergeant’s voice could be heard calling out orders. Then, at last, they were free of the barbed wire. Bobby rose to a crouching position and ran forward, rifle held closely against his chest.
"Get your head down!"
Bobby heard the call. He crouched lower as a burst of gunfire came from his left. Ahead of him was a steep slope. He struggled up, his breath coming in painful gasps. He reached the summit to find a number of straw-filled dummies dressed in German uniforms, hung from a wooden frame. Over to Bobby’s right, a voice called out.
"Don't just stand there! You won't have time to catch your breath in battle! Get moving!"
Bobby held the rifle in front of him, bayonet pointing menacingly at the dummy ahead of him. As he ran forward, he gave a yell and plunged the bayonet into the chest of the effigy. It swung crazily at the violation. Withdrawing the sharp weapon, he ran on, wondering if it would be as easy to run a bayonet into a living, breathing human being. The training exercises were getting him and his fellow soldiers used to the sound of enemy fire, and the difficulties of moving when loaded down with equipment. But they would not help when he came face to face with his first German, and had to kill before he himself was killed. As he made his way down the far side of the hill, he wondered how he would stand up to a real battle situation.
131
The months rolled on, through spring and summer towards the autumn of 1943. Bobby and Sarah spent as much time as possible together. The area around Heronfield was new to both of them. Although Sarah had been there since the outbreak of the war, and had taken a few trips out with Tony, she had spent the majority of her time at the house and in the extensive grounds of the Heronfield Estate. Now
the couple took trips out together, finding secluded country pubs and small restaurants where the rationed fare was more palatable than the norm. They visited Salisbury, Andover, Melksham, Devises and Newbury, as well as Stonehenge, the stones of Avebury and many other attractions. At times they could almost forget the war as they strolled contentedly together. Bobby found himself falling in love with the rolling green hills of England, the neatness of it all compared with the sprawling vastness of America. He was falling in love with Sarah too. The auburn-haired young nurse reached a spot in his heart that no one else had ever touched before, and as the months passed, he knew she was the one whom he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He still wondered about Tony Kemshall, but she had never mentioned him, and he did not know how to bring up the subject, taking comfort from the fact that she had not seen him again.
Sarah had not thought she could be so relaxed in the company of a man so soon after ending her relationship with Tony, yet she felt she had known Bobby all her life. True, he did not bring quite the sparkle to her existence that being with Tony did. His kisses did not excite her in quite the same way. But he felt comfortable and safe to be with. She had not seen Tony since the dance, but he still wrote to her fairly frequently, friendly letters which Sarah enjoyed reading. She felt that they never quite said enough, though that helped her to put her relationship with him in the right perspective. The past was behind her now. Her future seemed to lie in the hands of the American who looked so much like her first love. As the weeks and months passed, the pain of losing Tony diminished, and in its place grew a quiet contentment. She had experienced the best and worst of love. Her relationship with Bobby, while lacking in excitement, seemed to hold all that was best of love, yet with none of sadness of her life with Tony. Maybe what she needed from life was trust, stability and safety. Bobby gave her all of these. Life seemed to be improving and she was glad to let it take its course.
132
"This is much better than being in Italy."
Sarah smiled at the captain, who leant back against his pillows, face relaxed and smiling.
"Don't get too used to it. Once you're better you'll have to move out, and let someone else have your bed."
He grinned in return. "I can't say I won't be happy for that to happen, but it's great to be able to just lie back and relax after what we've been doing out there."
Sarah sat on the edge of the bed. "I thought things were going well for us in Italy?"
The soldier nodded. "They are. Since the Italians surrendered at the beginning of September we've only had to fight the Germans. But they're determined not to give up Italy without a struggle. They retreat slowly into easily defended positions in the mountains where we have to shell them heavily to get them to move. Once they do move back, we can't rush them because our bombardment has made such a mess of the roads. By the time we can get moving, they've got themselves into another defensive position and the whole thing starts all over again."
"It sounds very frustrating."
The young officer smiled. "It is, especially as we can all see that the outcome is inevitable." He shifted his position slightly to make himself more comfortable. "I know that we've been at war with Italy, but they are out of it now, and it seems a shame that we have to continue destroying their country. So many beautiful things are ending up in ruins."
Sarah shrugged. "That's no different to what's been happening to us over the last few years." In her mind’s eye she could see again the beautiful cathedral which once stood in the centre of Coventry, now no more than a heap of rubble.
The captain nodded. "I agree, but it just seems so futile for the Germans to keep fighting us in Italy, when they know they can't win." He smiled. "As far as I'm concerned, this is the beginning of the end for Hitler. I just wish that he'd see it and give up now, instead of dragging things out to the inevitable conclusion."
"I can't see him doing that." Sarah rose from the edge of the soldier’s bed and moved over to the window. She gazed down at the trees, vibrant in the reds and golds of autumn, and at old Madame de Thierry, Tony’s grandmother, who walked slowly between the trees, cloaked in a veil of sadness. "Hitler won't surrender until we’ve re-taken France and pushed his armies back to where they came from. That won't be easy."
The Captain nodded. "I know, but we will do it. Next year, or perhaps the year after. With the Americans on our side, we can't lose. They have so many resources. Germany’s resources are limited, and growing less all the time."
Sarah smiled at the mention of the Americans. She would be seeing Bobby again that evening, and he would be glad to hear the news from Italy. Sarah turned her back on the autumnal scene beyond the window, and briskly straightened the covers of the bed.
"At least you’ll be home for Christmas, not suffering in the cold and snow of the Italian mountains."
"It will be my first Christmas at home since 1940."
Sarah could see the mixture of longing and delight in his eyes. She smiled. It looked like this Christmas was going to be a happy one, despite the war.
Autumn gradually changed to winter. As the festive season approached, Sarah found herself looking forward to the time she would spend with her mother and with Bobby. She rarely thought of that other Christmas when Joe had proposed to her. Her life was now so changed that she felt like a different person. Three years had passed since then, and now her future stretched before her to horizons she had never dreamed of.
Sarah alighted from the train into the bustle of Coventry station and stood for a moment to take in the sights and sounds. The platform was full of people, mainly uniformed men returning home on leave for Christmas, their relatives waiting eagerly to welcome them. Kit bags were balanced against arms filled with brightly wrapped parcels and there was an air of life and gaiety. It was subtly different from the other Christmases since 1939, maybe because people now really believed that Germany could not win and there would not be many more Christmases celebrated under the constraints of war. With a smile, Sarah made her way through the crowds and out onto the streets, where she was lucky enough to get straight onto a bus heading towards her home. As the bus bumped along its way, she gazed sadly at the bomb damage, like raw wounds of the face of the city of her birth. In some places there were piles of rubble where homes and shops had once stood. In others, buildings which were far too unsafe to use stood derelict. The boarded windows seemed to stare sightlessly down on the mass of humanity which inhabited the city. Sarah determined not to let the destruction and the drabness of a city where rationing precluded bright materials bring her spirits down. It was 21st December, and she had to return to Heronfield again on the 23rd. There was no time to waste on looking at the negative things that war brought. Her mother was waiting and this Christmas was going to be as enjoyable as those before the war, if she had anything to do with it. The bus finally stopped at the end of the road where Sarah had lived her whole life until the outbreak of war. She climbed eagerly down, walking briskly through the cold winter air towards the small terraced house that was home. She bounded up the steps and pushed open the door without knocking.
"Mum! It's me!"
She placed her bag on the floor and made her way into the kitchen. She expected to find her mother there but the room was empty, though the kettle was on the stove, which meant she could not be far away. Sarah went over to the window and looked out. A washing line was strung from the Anderson shelter to a pole on the other side of the garden. Alice was hanging out washing, which flapped wildly above the leeks and Brussels sprouts in what had once been the rose bed. Sarah smiled and turned away. She took off her coat and hung it in the hall, before returning to the kitchen where she took down two cups and saucers and began to make the tea. When the back door finally opened, the pot was on the table covered with its cosy, and the milk and sugar stood beside it with a small plate of biscuits. Alice’s face broke into a wide grin.
"Sarah!"
She put the laundry basket down onto the floor and held out he
r arms to her daughter, who rushed into them, happy to be enfolded once more into the warmth and security of home.
. "It's good to see you, Mum." She kissed her mother warmly on the cheek. "Gosh, you're cold! Sit down and I'll pour you a cup of tea."
Alice sat down gratefully. “Thanks, love." She smiled happily. "You're looking well. Nursing seems to suit you."
Sarah nodded happily as she poured the tea. "Yes. I love it. It's a really rewarding job, Mum. You don't know how good it feels to care for someone who is sick and injured, to watch them slowly improving until they’re able to leave your care."
Alice smiled. "Of course I understand. Who looked after you when you had chicken pox? Who nursed you through all your childhood ills?"
Sarah laughed. "I suppose all mothers are nurses then, aren't they!"
"Yes, being a mother is a very fulfilling job." Alice looked quizzically at Sarah. "Have you any plans in that area? You can't mourn Joe forever."
Sarah nodded. "Yes Mum, I know. But I'm not sure where I stand at the moment."
Alice smiled. "Are you still seeing that American?”
Sarah nodded. "Yes. He's really kind and considerate and fun to be with but..."
"But you don't love him the same way as you loved Joe?"
Another nod. "I knew you'd understand, Mum. Especially as you lost Dad in the last war."
"That was different, Sarah. We were married, and I had you. We were a small family, and I was not alone as you might be when I've gone."
"Mum! What an awful thing to say! You'll be around for a long time yet!"
Alice smiled. "Of course, I plan to be. But you can't wait forever. Bobby's not the one for you, then?"
Sarah shrugged and took a sip of tea as she thought. "I don't know. I don't suppose I'll ever love again the way I did with Joe."
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