Notorious

by Leanne Davis

  “Are you…”

  “Yes, I really am going to seduce you tonight.”

  “That’s not what I was going to ask you.”

  “Oh. My bad. But I am.”

  She blanched and looked around. No one looked back. “We had an understanding.”

  “We do. We understand we like each other, and we have great sex. Oh, I get it. This was a one-time deal? I hope you’re not serious.”

  “But what about Tim? What will he think?”

  “He thinks I live at the house. Remember?”

  “Oh, yeah. You seem to have all the bases covered.”

  “No. First, I have to convince you.”

  “I could be convinced.” She smiled.

  “I’ll be real convincing. Real, real convincing.”

  “Only if you promise to quit staring at me with that look on your face.”

  “What look?”

  “Don’t act all innocent, you know exactly what look. Quit embarrassing me and I’ll consider it.”

  “It, meaning sex?”

  A blush burned her cheeks. “I think we both know what we were discussing.”

  “Just say the word ten times and maybe you won’t blush each time it’s mentioned.”

  “Oh, shut up. I’m not embarrassed by the word, just your ability to embarrass me with it.”

  “It, meaning sex?”

  “Yes. Fine. It, meaning sex. Happy now? I said it.”

  “Shh. Not so loud. You want the whole town to know what’s on your mind?” He was laughing again. It was something Luke never did. She loved this side of him. He made her feel giddy and young and free and beautiful, but not in an I-want-your-body kind of way. A way she’d never felt before.

  “It’s not on my mind. It’s on yours.”

  “Maybe I looked at one too many of your pictures.”

  She groaned. “Would you stop?”

  “Will I stop what? Flirting? No. I like seeing you blush.”

  “Why in the world do you like to embarrass me?”

  “Because you couldn’t be any cuter when you are.”

  “Did you just call me cute?”

  Luke groaned this time. “What’s wrong with that? Are you going to yell at me now because I called you cute? Fine. You’re also extremely smart.”

  “No, actually I’ve never been called cute. I like it. It has nothing to do with sexy. It’s better.”

  “So I can call you cute, just not beautiful or gorgeous or stunning. You make no sense.”

  “Those other words describe the pictures that get me so much attention. Cute seems personal, like you’re talking to me, the person, not the model. Do you see?”

  He quit smiling. He nodded. “I do, I do see you.”

  “Thank you,” she said softly, breaking the flirtatious mood.

  “So are you going to be okay tomorrow?”

  “Tomorrow?” she asked, blinking in confusion.

  “John and Cassie get home, there’s the big family dinner and present opening. You’re going, aren’t you?”

  She nearly smacked her head against the table. She’d forgotten. “Of course, I’ll be there. It’s where again?”

  Luke grinned. “At my parents’.”

  “Of course, it is. Why would it be anywhere else? How am I going to do that?”

  “That depends. Are we telling John and Cassie?”

  “About this? I don’t know. Maybe we don’t need to.”

  “I think your sister’s going to kill me.”

  “Why? I’m a grown woman.”

  “Try convincing her of that. She’s like a mother bear where you’re concerned. In fact, the more I think about it, the surer I am she’s going to hate this. No, I don’t think we need to tell them.”

  Kelly regarded him. “Oh my God! You’re serious. You’re afraid of my sister.”

  “I’m not afraid. I just have a healthy respect for her temper. I lived with her for six months, remember? She considers you hers, and no one messes with you or Tim. Believe me, she’s going to kill me.”

  “You’re bigger than she is. Besides, didn’t you already tell her you were sleeping with me?”

  “That was different. That I could blame on being drunk. This? She’s not going to like that we’re…”

  “Friends?”

  “Okay, we’re friends. She’s not going to like this at all.”

  “I think you care more about what she thinks than what I think.”

  “Well, I see her a lot. We’re close. I’d hate to get her mad at me.”

  Kelly tried to ignore the stab of jealousy that sliced her heart in half. Jealous? Of her own married sister? But the man she was sleeping with was more concerned about her sister’s reaction to it, than her own. It was a little too much to take.

  Even though Luke was right. He would be living day in and day out with Cassie. Not her. She would be thousands of miles away. Gone. Uninvolved.

  Why wasn’t that sitting well with her?

  They ordered and ate their pizza with Tim’s commentary keeping any further adult talk at bay. And only after Tim had thoroughly talked himself out and hopped off to play again, were they left alone.

  A small dance floor was set in the corner of the restaurant. It was the only thing to do on Saturday night after dinner, since there wasn’t even a movie theater close by. So, as the dinner hour came to a close, the pizza joint filled up with people looking for something to do besides the bar or home. Music began and the floor soon filled up. Although the crowd tended to be older, married couples with grown kids, out for Saturday night, there was a scattering of all ages and dress. Who’d have guessed this small town could be so hopping?

  She had a direct view of Tim. Once he had enough quarters, he was lost to them. She smiled at his independence.

  “So?”

  Kelly turned to find Luke standing at the end of the table with a hand out to her. She took the “so” to mean he wanted to dance. With her. The instant pleasure that evoked surprised her.

  “Oh. I can’t.”

  “Why not?”

  “My shoes.”

  “Your shoes? What? They hurt your feet?”

  “No, they’re heels.”

  “Of course, they’re heels, we established your shoes are always heels.”

  “But I’ll be taller than you. We’ll look silly, and it will feel weird.”

  “Good Christ, it doesn’t matter that much. Come on. I want to dance with you and your damn shoes aren’t going to stop us.”

  “Really?” she asked, inordinately pleased by his new attitude.

  “Yes, really. Come on.”

  She got up and solved their problem. Slipping the heels off, she went barefoot so when he spun around and stepped closer to her they were eye-to-eye. He grinned, and then he dragged her closer and tighter. His arms went around her in a possessive hold. He closed the gap between their bodies. The feel of him was hard against soft. Their heights made it so all the right parts fit snugly together and the sensations were as erotic as any foreplay she could imagine.

  “Can you see Tim?” she asked, before getting too caught up in the mood and wonderful feel of Luke.

  “Yeah, I got my eye on him. Relax.”

  She did, against him, and swayed to the country song. That was all they played. Still, it was like getting lost in another world, out there swaying to the loud sweet song, held tightly by Luke. She closed her eyes totally consumed by him. She memorized every detail of how he moved against her, how his shoulders shifted under hands, how his hands tightened on her waist. How he made her laugh and smile at things she’d never been able to do before. How he was so gruff, and yet was so tender with her feelings. He seemed to be enjoying the dance, too. Far more than the dance they’d shared at the wedding. His muscles were relaxed underneath her. His breath was warm and soft on her neck. His hands rubbed her back, seductive and caring all at once. Lord, did she like this man. Was she ever so attracted to him! Who’d have guessed?

  She ope
ned her eyes once when the song changed and found that they were near the center of the floor now, and being stared at. In fact, they were the only couple on the floor who had any space around them. Kelly sighed. Of course, they were being talked about. It was a small town, Luke was a local, and she was Kelly Reeves, the notorious model. They were dancing close and connected, obviously not how in-laws would dance.

  “Forget it. Close your eyes and pretend we’re alone. They don’t exist.”

  Kelly lifted her head and met Luke’s eyes. How did he know? She wasn’t looking at him. How did he get what she was thinking?

  They danced for two more songs. She was so happy that she’d consider dancing there forever. Her eyes closed, heightening her senses. The music seemed to enter her, and the feel of Luke seemed larger than life, and all that mattered in the world just then.

  Then he suddenly stiffened, pushing her away. “Let’s take a break.”

  Confused, she tripped when he stalked off and left her there. What just happened? She looked around, curious eyes were watching her.

  “It was their song.”

  “Pardon me?” Kelly asked, turning to the voice at her left. She found a couple in their fifties, dancing. They were short and dressed in matching shirts. They smiled at her. The woman repeated, “Hello, I’m Carin Lettry, and this is my husband, Henry. We were friends of Shelly’s family. That was the song Luke and Shelly danced to at their wedding. It was their song. They played it at her funeral, too, so I know I’m right. Don’t fret, dear, it wasn’t you.”

  “Th-thank you.” Kelly turned away. God, how did people stand living in small towns? Where everyone was a family friend of everyone else’s and knew everyone else’s business? But then again, Carin was looking at Kelly with a nice smile and twinkle in her eye. There didn’t seem to be anything sinister or nasty about her interest in Kelly.

  Kelly listened to the song. She looked around. Luke was nowhere to be seen.

  Chapter Sixteen

  He’d forgotten about her.

  Luke marveled that for the last four hours, he hadn’t thought once about Shelly. He’d been so engaged with Kelly, amused by her, interested in her, that he hadn’t thought once about anything, but the present. The moment. Now. It was heavenly. A break he rarely got.

  Then that song came on. Shelly’s song. And it filled him down to his toes. The song, the one song that every couple has to define them. It had, of course, played on the radio on their first date, and around the time of their first kiss. And not long after they got serious, Shelly had proclaimed it was their song.

  As he danced, holding another woman, who wasn’t his wife, it felt terribly wrong. Like he betrayed his love for Shelly, her memory. Funny making love to another woman hadn’t done that, no, an innocent dance in a crowded room had succeeded in doing that.

  He retreated to the men’s room but came out a few moments later. He collected Tim and finally found Kelly looking confused and abandoned by the table. It was time to go home. Suddenly Luke was tired, so tired there was no way to describe it. At thirty-four, he shouldn’t know what it was like to feel this bad.

  ****

  Tim fell sound asleep in the truck on the way home. The ride was silent. The gap between them was as wide as a canyon, and Kelly wasn’t sure how it all happened so fast. They went from flirting and warmth to bone-chilling cold. As if he blamed her for being there. As if he didn’t want her there. When they arrived at the house, Luke got out and carried Tim to his room. When he came downstairs, Kelly was standing in the living room. She stared at him, making no attempt to act busy or fuss with something to ease the tension between them. Luke turned toward the door when Kelly’s voice stopped him dead.

  “What was she like?”

  “Who?” He froze, hand on the door knob.

  “Shelly.”

  He turned slowly. He dropped his hand from the door with a long sigh.

  “Her name was Michelle.”

  “I didn’t know that. No one’s ever called her anything but Shelly. It must bother you our names are so much alike.”

  “Yes.”

  “Is that why you call me Kel? No one else has ever called me that.”

  “Yes, it’s why.”

  “Was she nice?”

  “My wife? Yes, she was very nice.”

  “How did you meet?”

  “We went to the same college. We had a class together, she asked me out. I accepted.”

  “You loved her very much, didn’t you?”

  “Yes.”

  “You had a good marriage?”

  “Most of the time.”

  “I’ll bet that’s hard, being married and liking it.”

  A faint, sad smile touched Luke’s lips. “Yes, I guess it is hard to be married and like it.”

  “Why didn’t you just tell me that was your song? Carin and Henry Lettry filled me in. You could have just told me.”

  “I don’t know how to do this.”

  “What? Be honest? That’s all I ask from you. Tell me what’s going on. If you’re thinking about Shelly, and you’re sad, tell me, then I know it’s not me you’re mad at. It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to not want to dance to that song.”

  “I don’t know how to move on.”

  “I don’t expect you to.”

  “Why not? Why don’t you get mad at me for being rude and careless to you? Most women wouldn’t like sharing their date with a dead woman.”

  “I like how you loved Shelly, how you still love her.”

  “You’re kidding me, right?”

  “No, I’m not. Why were you leaving?”

  “The night went bad.”

  “No. It just got sad. Why does that mean you have to leave?”

  “Because that’s generally how it works.”

  “I’d like you to stay. If you want to, of course.”

  He stepped away from the door and slowly walked toward her. “Are you sure?”

  “Yes. Just tell me what you feel. Don’t get mad at me because I’m here and she’s not. Can’t you stay here with me?”

  “I can,” he said gruffly as he came closer and stood before her without touching her. “Why all the questions?”

  “You need to talk about her. She is as much here as we are. If you’d acknowledge that, you’d find yourself feeling a lot better, maybe even a smidgen less haunted by her.”

  “How do you know what I feel?”

  “It’s written all over you. All I have to do is read it. Will you stay here, with me?”

  “I’ll stay.”

  “Are you? Here?”

  “Yeah, I’m here.”

  “Good,” she said, stepping forward and nudging his arms around her so he had to hold her. He sighed deeply, as his body sank into hers with a tiredness she could feel.

  ****

  Later, much, much later, in Kelly’s bed after a long, nearly frantic, lovemaking session, made quiet and intense so as not to wake Tim, or break the seriousness of the evening, Luke lay as usual wide awake. Awake and thinking. Kelly settled against him in her sleep. Her body, long and relaxed, curled into his as easily as a newborn kitten. She was nothing like he pictured. He couldn’t quite wrap his mind around the impressions he formerly had of her, compared to the sweet, unsure, kind, funny girl-woman who so easily drew him from the brink of his own mind’s hell into the present, into the now, and made him actually want to be there. What was he going to do with her? About her? Why her? After all these years, why Kelly Reeves?

  Then again, why not her? It had to be someone. He was bound to have sex again, to laugh again, to look forward to the next day again. He wasn’t dead, no matter how long he wished he was. What then was this? Why was he so easily making what started out as sex already so much more? His parents, the bakery, dating tonight, he hadn’t had to do any of it. Yet the few hours apart, he missed her, and actually anticipated seeing her.

  He wasn’t good for Kelly, and she was like fire to his frostbitten, hypothermic soul. Great f
or him. But what about her? What was he going to do to her? This innocent, beautiful, breathtaking woman, who believed so little of herself, and yet gave so easily. She wasn’t made for what they were doing. And what had he become to do this to her? Long before the end, he’d hurt her, hurt her no matter how often she said he wouldn’t, he would. He couldn’t help it, there was only so long he could stand the heat before he’d fall back into the cold, dark reality of his life. A life riddled with a grief he couldn’t get over, he couldn’t undo, and he certainly wouldn’t let go of.

  ****

  The next morning, Kelly woke at what she considered an early hour to find herself alone in bed. She stumbled into the bathroom, stopping to check on Tim, who was still asleep. She brushed her hair and teeth, threw a robe on, and went downstairs, expecting to find Luke. The house was silent.

  Well, that was coming to her. She was sleeping with a man who was still in love with his dead wife. To make matters worse, she was the first woman he’d slept with since his wife, making her both the rebound and the poor replacement. Still it hurt. He must have gone home.

  Tim was soon up, and he took her mind off Luke’s absence and the previous night they’d shared.

  “Let’s go get donuts. Special treat,” Kelly said, grabbing her keys, determined not to sit around stewing over a situation she’d created for herself.

  They were nearly to the town bakery when Tim looked out the car window and said, “There’s Uncle Luke.”

  Kelly looked around, wondering what Tim was looking at.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Uncle Luke. He’s in there. Then he’s going to see his wife.”

  “What are you talking about?” Kelly had to work at keeping her voice even. Tim was already bored by the conversation that Kelly was suddenly on the edge of her seat to know about.

  “He goes to church every Sunday, and then he visits his wife. She’s in a grave, you know. It’s right there beside the church. Sometimes I go with him. Mom lets me decide. Sometimes I see him talking to her.”

  “Oh, wow,” Kelly said softly to herself.

  Kelly drove on to the bakery and got them donuts. She made a valiant effort to listen to Tim, but her mind was consumed by Luke. Tim didn’t notice as he chatted happily to her, his mood more bubbly than usual because his mom was coming home today.