Out of the Ashes

by Tracie Peterson

  “I was not picking on Thomas.” Allan lifted his hands as if surrendering a battle. “I was about to tell him that Mr. Karstens’ telegram states that he was the one who made the mistake that resulted in his being locked in the storage room, not Thomas. He’d given our young man quite the tongue-lashing earlier and wanted to make sure we apologized for him.”

  Relief flooded Thomas at those words.

  Cassidy seemed to calm a bit, but then she started shaking her finger at Allan. “Well, that’s all well and good, but it doesn’t explain why you and Mrs. Johnson feel the need to plan out my life. I’m quite capable of taking care of myself.”

  “What are you talking about?” Allan’s forehead scrunched.

  “The two of you making plans about keeping an eye on me—figuring out what I can and can’t do like I’m some sort of child.”

  Thomas waited for Cassidy to explode, but instead she sank into the nearest chair and began to cry. Thomas eyed her and wondered what could have caused such a change. For him, he only felt relief that what he’d thought was a huge blunder wasn’t actually his fault.

  Allan moved toward his wife.

  John looked over at Thomas. “Maybe we should make our way quietly to the kitchen.”

  “Don’t leave!” Cassidy wailed. “I know you need to discuss tomorrow’s schedules and I interrupted you and I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s come over me.” She gasped and put a hand over her mouth. Then she withdrew it. “I was quite short with Mrs. Johnson too.”

  Allan turned back to them and appeared to be pleading for help with his eyes.

  John took a tentative step forward. “You know, Cass, your mother was quite . . . um . . . emotional when she was expecting you. I think that’s normal? Maybe? Or we could call for the doctor?”

  “No, Mrs. Johnson already explained this to me.”

  “If you’re sure. I know Thomas would go fetch him.” John looked worried.

  Thomas just nodded as he looked from face to face. He knew his eyes were wide, but the shock of it all scared him. When did sweet, sunshine-smiling Cassidy get a temper?

  Allan gripped his wife’s hand as she started crying in earnest. “We will figure this out, sweetheart. We will. Just how short were you with Mrs. Johnson?”

  Cassidy squinted her eyes at her husband. “Quite. But it’s all your fault. Apparently, the two of you have a plan to keep me contained these next few months. A plan that you didn’t discuss with me!” Her voice rose.

  “Now, honey. Calm down. The only plan we had was to keep an eye on you to make sure you don’t overdo it and collapse again. There is no plot against you. And definitely not any plan to keep you . . . contained. As if anyone could contain you.”

  Cassidy began to cry again. This time in great heaving sobs. Allan shook his head and looked back to Thomas. “Would you mind fetching the doctor?”

  “I’ll go right now.” Thomas was pleased with the excuse to leave the room. That wasn’t a sight he ever expected to see—Cassidy losing her temper and then bursting into tears. Women sure were odd creatures.

  He shook his head as he ran to the doctor’s quarters. The incident with Mr. Karstens was nothing compared to the outrage of an expectant mother. He made a mental note to not anger Cassidy Brennan for the next few months.

  8

  MAY 12—SEATTLE

  The deck of the Alaska II glimmered in the rising of the sun. Jean-Michel took slow, methodic steps in the wee morning hours, pondering the mess that was his little sister, Collette.

  The relatively new ship built by a Seattle company for the Alaska Steamship Co. in 1923 was beautiful and more than comfortable. But all the comforts of the world couldn’t take away his dilemma. How had his sister become this . . . self-absorbed? And flirtatious.

  For a week on the ship over from France, he’d had to watch her every move. If she wasn’t flirting with almost every man aboard, she was risking her safety leaning over the railings, or other such nonsense.

  Then they’d spent a week on trains. Traversing the continent of America from east to west. And even after several stern talking-tos, Collette continued in her ways. She stated she was bored. She just wanted to have fun. And why was he being such a stodgy old man about it?

  Now they were on yet another ship, headed north to Alaska. He’d had very little sleep and every moment he wasn’t reining in Collette, he spent on the exercises for his leg. Which made him bone weary.

  Reaching the stern of the great ship, he gripped the railing and inhaled the salty, crisp air. A spray of water reached his face as he heard a deep bellowing sound. Jean-Michel looked down in time to see the tail of a great whale splash the surface. What a magnificent sight. To the left of the giant creature, there swam a smaller one. The mother whale didn’t seem to have any issues keeping her youngster in line.

  Why couldn’t it be as easy for humans?

  Especially for big brothers who just wanted to guide and protect their younger sisters.

  He rubbed a hand down his face. How he wished Father were still here. Or at least accessible to ask advice. Jean-Michel felt himself floundering.

  It wasn’t Collette’s fault that she was untarnished by the ugliness of the world. But she was definitely focused on frivolous things. And didn’t seem to care too much about how her actions affected other people. If she were even aware. But how could he change that? What could he do?

  He was ten years her senior—already away to boarding school when she was born. During his college years in Canada, he’d been far too busy to notice much in regard to Collette’s activities. Sickness and war and returning to France had consumed the family after that—and it was Collette’s turn to attend boarding school. She’d only just returned the year before, just months before Jean-Michel came home from Syria.

  Tragedy and war shaped him. While money, façades, and fake compliments had shaped Collette.

  He needed some advice. And fast.

  What would Father do in this situation?

  He’d probably threaten to cut off all of Collette’s funds. Which wasn’t a bad idea. She spent money quite freely on the trip. But then she’d probably pout. Perhaps even cry. Could he deal with that?

  How had his parents dealt with it?

  How was it that a war-torn older brother now inherited the role of guardian? Ill-prepared was the only phrase that could describe him and his efforts. But he did have a genuine desire to steer Collette in the correct direction. She needed him. And that kept him going.

  Even though he had no idea what he would end up doing with the rest of his life. What was he good for? What all did he really know? He never wanted to return to France. And his sister needed saving from the world and herself.

  Collette could be such a sweet girl. Their parents had doted on her and she had adored them. She adored Jean-Michel and he knew she wanted his approval. But something had changed in her the past few months. Even the past year. Jean-Michel couldn’t put his finger on it, but he’d have to find a way to reach her with reality before she put herself in a compromising position.

  Back in his stateroom, Jean-Michel read through Father’s letter once again. Hoping for some tidbit of wisdom he could apply to Collette, he only found the advice to search for God. Maybe one day, he’d be ready. But for now, he’d have to settle for keeping Collette out of trouble for one more day.

  MAY 17

  Collette lifted her scented hankie to her nose so she wouldn’t have to smell the horrendous odors as they disembarked the Alaska II. This last leg of the trip hadn’t been nearly as fun. Jean-Michel was even grumpier than usual and refused to give her any allowance unless she followed all of his rules. Which made her want to stomp her foot at him in defiance—but she wanted spending money.

  About the only good part of their journey from Seattle to Seward, Alaska, had been the scenery. She’d never seen anything so beautiful in all her life. And if she didn’t love France so much, she might have decided to stay in this corner of the world forever. />
  Jean-Michel took her elbow and steered her toward a car. “They will take us to the train quickly. We don’t want to miss the train to Curry today.”

  For someone who hadn’t been much too excited about anything on this trip, he now seemed anxious to finish this last leg. Well, she should be thankful. Seward didn’t look like it boasted much in the way of shopping or entertainment.

  The train ride was much like all the others. Bumpy and noisy. But at least the majority of the smelly passengers were not in first class. Not that first class amounted to much on the Alaska Railroad, but at least there was separation from the many unwashed bodies.

  “Est-ce que nous arrivons bientôt?” The question she’d asked Father on countless train trips left her lips and aimed at Jean-Michel.

  “Collette, you must remember to speak in English. We’re in America and you know it quite well. And no, we will not be there anytime soon, we just boarded the train.”

  He opened a newspaper and began to read it.

  She let out a tiny huff. Why was she always so bored?

  “Didn’t you bring a book to read?” he said from behind the paper.

  “Non.” She exaggerated the French word just to annoy him.

  He chuckled and flicked the paper straight.

  The world had changed, her friends had changed, but had she?

  She’d grown up right along with the rest of them. And she must admit that a lot of the world’s changes were good ones. Rules were more relaxed. Skirts were—finally—shorter. Women were cutting their hair and being bold and fun. In America they even had the right to vote.

  But the restlessness inside her didn’t seem to be satisfied. Something was missing. Something much bigger.

  But what was it?

  Happiness had never eluded her before. With a sigh, she laid her head on her brother’s shoulder and decided to let go of her silly questions and try to go to sleep. Maybe something exciting would happen in Curry.

  “Collette. Collette, wake up.”

  She shifted forward as the train slowed. Blinking against the light, she was shocked that she’d actually fallen asleep for the whole trip. “We’re in Curry? Already?”

  Her brother nodded. “You snored. It was quite entertaining.”

  Collette straightened herself and gave him a shove in his seat. “I most certainly did not. Please stop telling tales.”

  As they gathered their belongings, Collette attempted to get a view out the windows, but all she saw was people.

  Jean-Michel offered her his arm and they exited the train together. When she stepped down onto the wooden decking of the train’s platform, she got a full view of her home for the next few months.

  The Curry Hotel.

  The two-toned, dark green building was two stories with bay windows flanking the canopy and a marquee that read Curry Hotel and Depot.

  While not as magnificent as hotels in Europe or New York City, Collette could still see that this was indeed a lavish hotel for the area. She hadn’t seen much of civilization since they left Seattle. And oh, how she ached for a bath.

  As they walked into the foyer, the beautiful red carpets greeted her along with the dark wood finishes. Deep leather chairs adorned the lobby, and a large fireplace in the corner invited those who wanted to linger and relish its warmth.

  Jean-Michel led her to the left of a large staircase. She noted the high counter and assumed they would check in here.

  As her brother discussed their accommodations with the clerk, Collette took a few more minutes to explore the lobby. A beautiful dining room was to the left of where she stood, and if the scents emanating from the kitchen across the room were any indication, they would eat well.

  Three men descended the stairs together, deep in conversation. But one of them noticed her, smiled, and took a moment to stop and stare.

  She smiled back.

  This summer could be very interesting.

  Jean-Michel tapped her on the shoulder. “If you’re done flirting, we can head up to our rooms. There’s a boy who is taking our things up.” He sighed.

  Swallowing a sassy retort when she noticed his face filled with exhaustion, Collette nodded. “I’m ready.”

  The stairs were beautiful—covered in that rich red carpeting and wide enough for several people to traverse at the same time. They reached the second floor and walked around two large shared washrooms in the center to a hallway that spanned the entire width of the building. Jean-Michel pulled the keys out of his pocket and opened the first door on the right. He spoke to the boy. “This will be the lady’s room, if you would be so kind to deliver her luggage here. I’ll take the room to the left of hers.”

  The boy set down the two cases he held and ran back down the stairs for the rest.

  Her brother led her into her room. “If you’ll notice, we share a private bathroom in between our two rooms. But we have all the modern conveniences. If you need anything, I’ll be just on the other side of our bathroom.” He walked through the door and left the adjoining doors open as he perused his own room. “Please don’t go anywhere. I’d like us to go down for dinner together.”

  While sparse compared to home, the hotel was indeed a diamond in the rough land of Alaska from all she’d heard. The bed, dresser, and side table were all of high quality craftsmanship, and there was a chair and small bench at the foot of the bed as well. Yes, she could be quite comfortable here. Even without her maid. She’d done fine on the trip without her, and Jean-Michel had convinced her before they left that it wouldn’t be necessary to bring their servants.

  Her brother walked back into her room. “Do you like it?”

  “It’s cozy, isn’t it?” She watched his face fall and put on a smile for him. The words were meant to be a compliment. “It will be a nice place to stay for the summer.” Hopefully the added words would show him she was trying. She knew she’d been difficult to deal with, but she had no idea how to change. And she didn’t want to aggravate Jean-Michel anymore. If only she knew how to be more agreeable. How not to get bored. Because if she didn’t learn, she’d never be allowed to do anything ever again, and he’d keep her allowance to himself as well.

  “Why don’t we go down to dinner and then we can finish unpacking.” He held out his arm.

  With another nod, Collette walked with her brother out to the hall and he locked her room. “I’m sorry, Jean-Michel. Truly, I am. I know I’ve caused you great trouble on this trip, but that is not my intention.”

  He leaned on his cane and looked at her with an eyebrow raised. “It isn’t?” His lips curved up into a slight smile.

  “Non. It isn’t. Even though I cause trouble easily, it’s not that I want to, necessarily. I’m just . . . I don’t know . . . bored . . . restless . . . waiting for my life to begin.”

  “So you thought to take it out on your beloved older brother, because your rebelliousness and careless attitude wouldn’t hurt him at all?” His eyes still smiled at her, but the words hit their mark.

  “I said I was sorry.”

  “I know, Collette. I do. And it is forgiven. But you are almost an adult now. Mother and Father are gone, and I don’t want to take their place. I want to be your brother and for you to know you can always depend on me.” He sighed again. A habit too often used of late. And it was all her fault.

  It was true. She didn’t want Jean-Michel to fill in as a parent. She loved her brother. More than anyone else. But she didn’t understand where she stood now. Didn’t know what to do with her life. Through it all, she still needed her big brother—her confidant. But she just felt lost.

  They started down the steps together.

  Collette tried to form the right words to share with Jean-Michel, but they all sounded childish and petty. Even to her own mind. Guilt pierced her heart. She’d forced his hand with the tickets. What if he’d wanted to wait before they traveled? The doctor had given him such strenuous exercises for his leg, and she knew he was still mourning Father’s death. What if he wasn
’t ready?

  A grunt beside her pulled her attention back to her brother. His face grimaced as he sank to the steps below.

  “Jean-Michel! Are you hurt?”

  He sat on the steps for a moment that seemed to last forever, his lips in a thin line. “My leg gave out on me. It’s nothing. Just give me a minute.”

  “Do we need to call for a doctor?”

  “Non. It is fine.”

  “Is it all those exercises you’ve been doing? Maybe you overdid it?”

  “Oui.” He cleared his throat. “That must be it.” He held up a hand. “Just help me up. I’ll be fine.”

  “Are you certain?” Collette saw movement out of the corner of her eye and realized a small crowd had gathered at the bottom of the grand staircase.

  “Yes.” He flashed her a full smile and straightened his shoulders as he rose to his full height.

  Leaning heavily on his cane, Jean-Michel still offered his other arm to escort her down.

  Head held high, he led her down each step, and as they reached the bottom her brother greeted people around them. The color in his face showed the pain he was in, but he didn’t let on.

  And Collette’s heart broke. This was all her fault.

  How selfish could she be?

  9

  MAY 20—SAN FRANCISCO

  The window in their third-story hotel room in San Francisco squeaked as Katherine opened it for Grandmother. Her need for “fresh air” no matter the outdoor temperature was a bit ridiculous at times. Especially on the train ride through parts of Kansas and Colorado when all they smelled was the smoke from the train and what the cows left behind.

  “Fresh air. Hmph.” It would take months to forget the stench.

  But at least they finally made it to the west coast. They’d traveled the past few weeks, but not in the same way as before. In fact, most of their time had been spent on the trains and in the hotels studying the Bible together and talking. They’d seen the Rocky Mountains and the giant redwoods, but each day, she’d been more enthusiastic about learning than sightseeing.