“Don’t forget to shave.”
I turn to face her with a frown. “Mom, I know how to shower. I’ve been doing it for many years on my own.”
I go straight to the shower and step beneath the stream of water, letting it pour over my head and face. I love that my mom is so anxious about the wedding. She and my dad have come a long way, and I’ve never been happier. I have Holden and my family. Maybe my mom is right about having kids. I’d love to have a little family created from our love for one another.
Whoa, slow down. When the time is right: after the honeymoon and after the studio is up and running. I shake the crazy thoughts from my head and grab my razor.
When I step back into the room, my mom has my clothes laid out on the bed. “Really? You don’t even think I can dress myself?”
She looks over at me from the dresser she’s cleaning. “I knew you could, but now that I’ve seen all your underwear, I’m starting to rethink that.”
My face wrinkles as I pick up the panties she got out. They’re red, lace boy shorts, and the most modest pair I own. “What’s wrong with these?” I ask, holding them up with a finger.
She spins around to face me. “You can see right through them. What’s the mystery?”
I roll my eyes. “I’m pretty sure I killed the mystery yesterday when I didn’t wear any at all.”
Her mouth drops open, and she inhales loudly, causing me to laugh. I sit on the bed. “Oh, come on, Mom. You can’t tell me that you and Daddy didn’t play little games to keep things fresh.”
Her face turns pink. “Hope, I think our drunken conversation last night may have confused you. We don’t talk about these things.”
“Why not? There’s nothing wrong with enjoying sex, Mom.”
If it’s possible, she blushes even more. Her face is no longer pink, but a bright red. “Hope, there are some things a mother just doesn’t need to hear. I’m sorry for the things I said last night. Obviously, I shouldn’t drink so much, and I’ll keep that in mind for the rest of my life.”
“It’s fun to let loose every now and then. Stop being so uptight.” Keeping my robe on, I pull on my underwear, followed by a pair of jeans. I turn my back to her and drop the robe to put on my bra and shirt. “You and daddy should do it some place you could get caught! That really spices things up. You know, like an elevator, a public bathroom, a dark corner somewhere.” I giggle.
“Hope, I swear —”
“Okay, okay. I’ll drop it.” I roll up the sleeves on my button up shirt and slide my feet into a pair of flip flops. “I’m ready if you are.”
She looks at me with one hand on her hip. “What about that mop on your head?”
I grab a hair tie and pull it up into a messy bun. “There.”
She rolls her eyes and shakes her head. “Come on, let’s get some breakfast before this day starts.”
I grab my purse and follow her out the door. “What if we run into Daddy and Holden?”
“No worries, your father took him golfing this morning.”
“Golfing?” I laugh just picturing Holden golfing.
“Those two used to golf every Sunday when you guys were kids.”
“Was he any good?”
“Your father?”
I shake my head. “Holden.”
She laughs. “God, no. But they enjoyed spending time together.” She leads me down to the elevator, and I feel like I have a pit in my stomach. It seems like my dad and Holden used to be closer friends than I thought. And I ruined that friendship for three years. I feel guilty, but on the other hand, I’m happy that I’m marrying the man I love, and they are talking again. Everything is back on track.
Chapter 22
Holden
I can’t sleep. Tomorrow, I get to marry the woman of my dreams. I don’t want to close my eyes for a second and miss watching her as she sleeps. Her lips are pouched together, and her thick, dark lashes fan across her cheeks. Her dark curls splay across the pillow, surrounding me in lavender and vanilla. She radiates warmth, and I absorb it like a man on the verge of freezing to death. My heart’s been surrounded in a block of ice for so long, but it’s melting down and slowly starting to beat again because of her.
I stay awake and watch her sleep for as long as I can. But when I’m around her, my guard goes down, I relax and fall asleep dreaming of her and our future together.
When I wake up, she’s still sound asleep, but Gary and I have plans to golf and have brunch before spending the day together. Not to mention, I can’t see the bride before the wedding. I guess technically, I’ve already broken that rule by waking up next to her, but it doesn’t count for her because she hasn’t seen me yet. Quickly and quietly, I slide out of bed and head for the shower.
When I get out, I dress and pack up my belongings, so I can dress for the wedding elsewhere. Then I scrawl a note, so she doesn’t think I pulled some kind of runaway bride move. I head down the hall to Lisa and Gary’s room and give Lisa the key to my room, so she can go in and get Hope moving. I know her all too well — she likes to sleep in, and I have a busy day planned for the both of them.
Gary and I head out to the golf course. He’s dressed in his best golf clothes, but no way am I being caught in that shit. I’m in a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and my black motorcycle boots. Gary and I used to do this all the time, but it’s been years since I’ve even touched a golf club. I wasn’t any good at this game when I was twenty, I’m sure another thirty years hasn’t changed that.
“I hope you know what you’re in for,” I tell him with a smile.
He waves me off as we head out to play. “You’ve never been any good. I think the important part is getting in some bonding time. It’s been so long, I’m not even sure I know you anymore.”
I shrug and take the club the caddy offers me. “I’m the same guy I’ve always been.”
Gary takes his position at the tee. He swings, and the ball goes flying off into the distance. “You’re not the same guy I knew, Holden. Back then, I knew my friend and neighbor. Now, I need to get to know you as my son-in-law.”
I nod but hold in my laugh. Nothing about what he said sounds normal. I admit, this whole situation is fucked up, but I wouldn’t change it for anything.
I step up to the tee and swing. A big chunk of grass flies up from me missing the ball, causing Gary to laugh behind me. I hold my arms out by my sides and turn to look at him. “Did you just bring me here to make fun of me?”
He smiles wide, accenting his heat-flushed face. “You caught me.”
I nod and turn back to look at my ball. “Remind me to take you riding one day,” I say, swinging again. This time I manage to actually hit the ball. The caddies pack up our clubs, and we get in the golf cart to move on.
“You know I can’t ride a motorcycle. I’ve told you before, Lisa would have me committed.”
While we ride along, I work up enough courage to ask, “What’s your take on this grandchildren thing? I think Lisa has made her opinion on the matter well known.”
He quickly looks at me before turning away. “Honestly, you’re practically the same age I am, and I couldn’t even imagine having a baby at this age. Do you want children?”
“I’ve always wanted children. It was Jane who couldn’t have any, not me. But once it was no longer an option for me, I just gave it up. I never thought I’d have another chance again.”
“And what does Hope think?”
“I think she’s been taking things one day at a time. I know you probably don’t believe this, but for the longest time, I ran from her — from my feelings for her. I think she’s just getting to where she trusts me to stay put. So, I don’t think she’s even seriously entertained the thought.”
He nods, understanding. “If you two want to have children, I’d be more than delighted to have grandchildren. If not… well, it’s your life. What’s important is what makes you and my little girl happy.”
I smile and slap him on the back. “Thank you, Gary. For ever
ything. For accepting me and Hope being together, for coming all the way down here to be present at the wedding, and for your support in all of it.”
“My only regret is taking so long to accept it. I lost three years with my daughter because I was trying to control something I had no control over. I can’t pick who she falls in love with any better than I picked who I feel in love with. I hate that I missed so much time, all over being pig headed.”
“It’s all in the past now,” I say as we come to a stop at my ball, so I can take another swing.
After we spend hours in the sun golfing, we head inside the club to have some lunch and a round of drinks. It’s nice getting to catch up with an old friend again. I never realized how much I missed him. I couldn’t be happier about everything being back on track, and I’m getting more and more excited about tonight as the day goes on.
It’s going on four P.M. when we head back to the hotel. Lisa and Hope are using the honeymoon suite to get ready while Gary and I get ready in his room. Gary walks out of the bathroom after his shower, wrapped up in a robe. He motions over his shoulder. “It’s all yours.”
I grab the items I need and step into the bathroom. As I look myself over in the mirror, a thought crosses my mind. I’ve had this beard for years now, but maybe I should shave it for the wedding — look a little more presentable. I pull out my clippers and shave it all off, leaving nothing but a dark stubble. I look ten years younger already. My cheek and jaw bones are visible, along with the dimple in my chin. Seeing my full face for the first time in years makes me feel like I’m starting a new beginning — a beginning I’m excited is finally in my grasp.
Once I clean up the sink, I step into the shower and wash off. When I exit the bathroom, Gary is fully dressed in a dark gray suit. “Looking good, old man,” I say.
He looks me up and down in my black suit. “I could say the same to you, but I’d just be reminding myself that my baby girl is marrying an old man.” He laughs.
I chuckle and shake my head. “What do you say we head down to the chapel?”
He looks at his watch. “We still have a few minutes. We can grab a drink and play some Black Jack.”
“Whatever you want.” I open the door and hold it for him to exit. When I step out into the hall, I look down at the door that I’m sure Hope is behind right now. It takes everything I have to turn and walk in the opposite direction.
We’re walking into the casino when I see Brad walk through the main doors. He’s already dressed in a nice suit. I walk up to him and hold out my hand to shake. “Brad, thanks for coming.”
“Sorry I’m late,” he says, shaking my hand. “Now, where’s my girl?”
“Well, that’s still up for debate, but she’s up in our room getting ready. I think. Room 607.”
He nods and heads for the elevator.
I turn to find Gary, and he’s already at the Black Jack table. I find a waiter and order us both a drink before joining him.
“I’m on fire already,” he says, clutching his chips in his hand.
I throw down the few chips I have and place my bet. The waiter brings over our drinks, and I hand one to Gary.
Turns out, Gary and I both lose our money, and I get blamed for ruining his winning streak.
“You can’t call one win a winning streak,” I tell him as we walk away from the table before we lose our shirts.
We’re walking aimlessly through the casino when I see Jack step off the elevator, dressed and ready to go. I stop walking to allow him to catch up.
“Look at you,” I say motioning toward his suit and man bun. “If it wasn’t for all that hair, I’d say you’ll be getting lucky tonight.”
He mocks laughter and waves me off.
“Well, what do you two say to heading into the chapel?”
Again, Gary looks at his watch. “You still have thirty minutes.” He looks at Jack and points at me. “I think he just can’t wait to claim my baby girl as his own.”
Jack smiles and nods while looking at me. “Ah, give him a break. He’s been looking forward to this day for years now.” He wraps his arm around my shoulders. “Come on. Let’s get you hitched.” He leads me in the direction of the chapel.
Chapter 23
Hope
Mom and I stop at a little cafe for breakfast and coffee before starting our day. I have a giant cinnamon bun and a latte, and she opts for some fresh fruit and hot tea.
“Are you excited?” she asks, barely able to contain her own excitement.
I lick the sweet icing from my fingers. “I am. It just hasn’t set in yet, you know?”
She nods and puts down her fork. “I remember the day I married your father,” she says with a haze settling over her eyes.
“Tell me about it.” I can’t hold back my smile. My parents aren’t the perfect couple, but I love hearing their love story.
“I was eighteen, and my father was convinced I was making the biggest mistake of my life. He and your dad didn’t exactly see eye to eye.” She looks directly at me as if she’s just made the connection. “My mom was excited to see her little girl get married. Like me now, she was ready to see me settle down and start a family, while Daddy wanted me to go to college and start a career.”
“You didn’t want to go to college?”
She shakes her head. “No way. All I wanted was your father. We’d been dating all through high school. I was so in love with that man — still am. My sun rises and sets on him.”
“That’s sweet, Mom.” I take a sip of my latte.
“We rented out a little chapel and a hall for the reception. It wasn’t a big wedding, because we couldn’t afford much at our ages. Your grandpa refused to pay for the ceremony since he was against it. All I remember is being so excited about finally getting to marry the man I loved, but I was filled with nerves. You see, at the time, we were both virgins. The wedding night was hanging heavily on my mind. I was scared it would hurt and that I wouldn’t be good enough… But I guess you don’t have that fear.” She cuts her eyes to me, and I laugh.
“Mom, I’m twenty-six-years-old. You can’t honestly believe I’d still be a virgin.”
“Times were different back then, I guess.”
“Are you telling me that you’ve only ever slept with Dad?”
Her face turns pink. “Well, how many people have you slept with, young lady?”
I giggle. “Not many,” I say, refusing to say Dean’s name.
“Anyway, it was a beautiful wedding, and not because of a fancy dress or expensive flowers — I didn’t have any of that. It was beautiful because we were finally coming together as husband and wife. You’ll look forward to telling your story to your daughter one day.”
My skin prickles with goosebumps. My daughter? Every time I hear the mention of children, it’s something I want more and more. I love Holden and the way we’ve been living our lives. I like not having to share my time with him and being able to just pick up and take off, but actually starting a family with him — it’s something I think I may want.
“Let’s get to the spa, so we’re not late,” Mom says, pulling me from my thoughts.
We go to the spa and get massages, our nails, hair, and makeup done. It takes the better part of the day, but we finally get to the room around five P.M.
I pick up my white dress that’s hanging on the rack and open the bag. My mom gasps behind me.
I turn around worried. “What’s the matter?”
Her eyes are full of tears. “You’re going to look so beautiful.”
I laugh and roll my eyes. “It’s not even a real wedding dress.”
“Remember my story? You’re going to look beautiful.” She wraps her arm around my shoulders, and I lean my head against her as we look at the dress together. The dress is an off-white color with a high neckline, and it’s sleeveless. But the back is completely see through and held together by beautiful beadwork. It’s form fitting on the bodice of the dress. At the hips, it softly flows out around me, e
nding just below my knees. I’ve only worn it the time I tried it on, and I can’t wait to put it on now.
I grab my special panties and slip into the bathroom to get dressed. When I step out, my mom freezes with tears rolling down her cheeks. “You look beautiful.”
I open my mouth to say thank you, but someone knocks on the door, and I go to answer it. Peeking through the peep hole, I see Brad. I throw the door open and jump into his arms.
“I’m so glad you’re here!”
“Sorry I’m late.” He steps into the room with me still attached to him.
“Don’t worry about it. I’m just glad you made it.” I finally let go and grab his hand to tug him over to my mom.
“Mom, this is Brad. Brad, my mom, Lisa,” I introduce them.
He holds out his hand. “It’s nice to finally meet you.” He looks between the two of us. “I can see where Hope gets that figure of hers.”
My mom giggles like a school girl and holds out her hand. “Thank you, but you’re just being kind.” She lets go of his hand to smooth down her dress suit.
Brad turns to me and looks me up and down. “I knew this dress would look amazing on you.”
I smile and sit down to slide on my shoes. “You do have good taste.” I look at my mom. “Brad found this dress in a vintage store. He called the minute he found it and made me come try it on. When I got there, he was almost in a fight with another soon-to-be bride over it.” I laugh.
“That’s right. I wasn’t letting no tramp steal your dress.” He points at me with a little too much attitude.
I stand and look myself over in the mirror. “Well, are we ready?” I look at them both.
Brad moves to the door. “After you,” he says, pulling it open.
My mom hands me my small bouquet, and we all walk out together. My heart pounds in my chest, and my breathing picks up. It’s finally setting in. I’m nervous but don’t know why. I’m ready to marry the man of my dreams. I want this next step, so why am I so nervous?
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