Who Needs Boys

by Stephanie Rowe

  Luke nodded. "Everyone know that?" He looked at me. "Allie?"

  "Actually, I do." I'd seen it on television this week too, and I'd felt an affinity for those two children who had been ignored by their dad. Some days I felt like I needed a Mary Poppins of my own.

  "Great." Luke strummed a few cords, and then the group started singing. Some people knew the lyrics more than others, so I sang a little louder to help the stumblers with the words. Even Tad was singing, and he had a pretty nice voice.

  When the song was over, I realized everyone was staring at me. Uh-oh. What had I done wrong?

  "You can sing." It was Luke who spoke.

  "Well, of course. Can't everyone?" I felt extremely uncomfortable with everyone still looking at me like I had a horn sprouting out of my head.

  "Not everyone can sing that well," Tad's dad said. "You're gifted."

  I felt my cheeks heat up. "I'm not gifted."

  But Tad's dad didn't drop the subject. "Where'd you learn to sing like that?"

  I shifted and moved the ice pack over my eye so I couldn't see half the group anymore. "I don't know. Nowhere. I just sing." I was so embarrassed with all the attention. I wasn't used to anyone paying attention to my singing.

  "You haven't had training?" This time it was Tad's mom. What was with the inquisition?

  "No." I sounded defensive, but I couldn't help it. "So what? There's nothing wrong with that."

  Tad leaned close and I felt his breath on my ear. "My mom is a voice coach. She and my dad both sing in the choir at church. They're very musical."

  Oh. So that's why they were so interested.

  Tad's mom wasn't finished. "Allie, you have to cultivate that voice. Train it, develop it. It's lovely."

  I sort of shrugged. "I don't know." Sure, my friends always told me I could sing, and I knew I could carry a tune, but no one had ever called it out before.

  "I'll teach you. Come work with me." Tad's mom looked so excited I wouldn't have been surprised to see her explode straight up into the air off her log.

  I shifted. "Um ... I've never really thought about my singing before."

  "You have talent, my dear, and it would be a sin to let that gift go to waste. We'll start training on Monday, okay? Don't bother to answer. It's a done deal." She gave me a firm nod and the rest of the group started to discuss what song to sing next. I just sat there with ice freezing my face.

  Me? A singer? With talent? I wasn't an athlete. I didn't care about school. The only thing anyone ever noticed about me was how I filled out my shirts. Until now. With my puffy face and horrible hair, Tad's family still thought I was special.

  Unbelievable. For about the zillionth time today, tears started to burn in my eyes again.

  Luke nodded at me. "Since you're the newest musical talent to fall into our circle, you pick the next song."

  I swallowed down my tears. "Me?"

  "Yep."

  I looked around and everyone was looking at me, waiting, ready to do what I said. Even Tad. He gave me a wink, and I grinned.

  Okay, so maybe I liked camping after all.

  * * *

  Tad and I went for a midnight swim to cool off my bee stings again. We swam out pretty far, and then Tad stopped and treaded water. "Can you float on your back?"

  "Yes. Why?"

  "Do it, and look at the sky."

  I glanced up and realized the black sky was dotted with more stars than I'd ever seen in my entire life. I immediately rolled onto my back and puffed up my chest so I didn't sink. The dark night stretched endlessly above my head, a blackness illuminated with glittering diamonds as far as I could see. Millions and millions of dots of light. It was incredible, daunting, and the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen in my life. I felt tiny, but at the same time, I felt drawn into the magnificence of the sky, as if it were a part of me, and I was a part of it. "It's incredible," I whispered.

  "I know. I could stay out for hours," Tad said, floating so close that his shoulder bumped into mine. "Did you see that?" Tad asked.

  "See what?"

  He pointed off to the right, his hand coming across my field of vision. "The shooting star. Off toward shore."

  "No, darn it. I've never seen one." I turned so I could study the sky over the land. "What am I looking for?"

  "A streak of light." Tad bumped against my leg. "Sorry."

  "No problem." Really. It was no problem. I was beginning to be fond of him touching me, though it had only been to tackle me into the water in a bee rescue and to hold ice on my arm. I wondered what it would be like if he held my hand, just to hold it.

  I saw a streak of light and shrieked. "Was that one?"

  "Yeah. Cool, huh?"

  "Incredible." The most incredible thing I'd ever seen. It was like the universe was lighting up just for us.

  We stayed floating forever, and I saw eight shooting stars. It was, quite possibly, the most amazing night I had ever had.

  * * *

  "One shooting star for each bee sting," Tad said later as we were slogging through the water back to shore.

  "Don't remind me." I hugged my arms against the shivers that had finally set in. We'd floated for so long that the night had cooled off and the water had felt cold.

  "Want to sit for a minute?" He nodded at a flat rock on the shore.

  My stomach jiggled, and suddenly I wasn't cold anymore. "Definitely."

  He spread out his towel and we sat next to each other. Not touching. Normally, I'd have no qualms about leaning against him and giving him some broad hints, but I didn't. I had no idea what he was thinking about me. Or why I was having guy/girl thoughts about him.

  So we simply sat in silence for a while, listening to the water lapping at the shore.

  "Can I ask you something, Allie?" he said.

  "Of course." I crossed my fingers behind my back and hoped it was something good.

  "What happened with Rand last night?"

  Rand? Wow. It felt like an eternity had passed since then. I picked up a stick and began picking the bark off it. "We had a difference of opinion."

  "I'd like to hear about it."

  He didn't demand. He didn't judge. He simply asked nicely, and that was one of things I liked about him. He respected me, and he showed it. I angled my head so I could look at him, but he was staring across the lake. His face was lit by the moon, so his skin was a bluish, grayish, glowing color. "Why do you want to know?"

  "Because."

  Because he liked me and wanted to know whether Rand was out of the picture? I could only hope. On the chance my wish might come true, it was worth it to tell Tad what had happened. "He wanted to kiss me, and I didn't want to."

  His neck tensed, but he still didn't look at me. "Why not?"

  "Um ..." I chewed my lower lip while I tried to figure out how to explain something I wasn't sure I even understood.

  "I thought you liked him." Tad still didn't look at me.

  "I did. Or I thought I did." I'd been wrong.

  "What changed?" He stole a sideways glance at me, then focused on the horizon again.

  I rubbed my chin. "I'm not sure. I guess... well... I'm tired of people ditching me."

  "What makes you think he would have ditched you?"

  I rolled my eyes. "Give me a break. I'm the queen of short relationships. I look for that kind of guy, and Rand is the perfect specimen. No attention span, which is exactly what I wanted."

  Tad finally gave up the pretense of not listening and turned to look at me. "So, if he's perfect, why'd you dunk him? Playing hard to get?"

  "No." I pursed my lips. "I'm just sick of being ditched. I don't want to play that game anymore." There. I'd said it. I'd put the truth out there. And you know what? It wasn't so hard, and it didn't feel so scary.

  We were quiet for a moment, letting my confession linger in the night.

  "Who ditched you?" Tad finally asked.

  I hugged my knees to my chest. "My dad."

  He made a noise of sympathy. "Wh
at happened? Divorce?"

  "Well, yeah, but that's not the problem. He took off for California, and I haven't spent very much time with him in six years. I was supposed to go out and stay with him for the summer and get to know the woman he's going to marry, but then he called the night before I was supposed to leave and disinvited me." I bit my lip. Jerk.

  Tad sighed. "That sucks."

  I couldn't help but laugh at his emphatic tone. "I know." Then I sobered. "Most people think it's cool that I have no parental supervision. My friends tell me all the time how lucky I am that my mom is never home and no one cares if I stay out all night."

  "It has its advantages," Tad said. "But it sucks to be ditched by your parents." He paused. "You know my dad?"

  "Uh-huh. He's really nice."

  "He's not my biological dad."

  I could have fallen off the rock in shock at that comment. "Are you serious? But he seems so close with everyone, and your mom. And you. He seems to really love you."

  Tad threw a rock into the lake and watched it skip. "He does. He married my mom ten years ago, so he's the only dad I know. My biological dad never comes around. My older brothers remember him, but I don't. Not much, at least."

  How about that? Someone else with a dad who pulled the disappearing act. Suddenly, I didn't feel so alone. Tad understood. He really did. I could cry or laugh or groan about my dad, and he would get it, without me ever having to explain or be embarrassed. It was amazing. "Don't you want to meet him? To see him?"

  "Nope. He's not my dad anymore." He threw another rock, and it landed with a blurp, then disappeared under the surface. "If your dad doesn't care about you, he's not your dad. Don't let him mess with you." He shrugged. "Maybe your mom will marry someone else like my mom did."

  I thought of evil Jack and his usurping daughter. Was that who I was supposed to meet? Was Jack the one who would be like Tad's dad?

  "Or maybe she won't," he said. "But at least you still have her."

  I tossed my stick into the lake, and watched it bob on the surface of the glittery water. "Well, sort of. Dating is more important than me." But what if she was out looking for a dad for me? What if she was actually trying to take care of me?

  Nah. She was too selfish for that. Wasn't she? Suddenly, I wasn't so sure.

  "Then come hang at my house." Tad elbowed me and grinned. "My family loves you."

  Warmth settled in my belly. "Really?" What about him? How did he feel about me?

  "Yep. You heard them. My mom already has you on her list of potential superstars that she has to mold into greatness.”

  Greatness? There was the possibility of greatness in my future? I remembered how excited Tad's mom had been about my voice, and how awesome that had felt. "Maybe I will come over to your place."

  He nodded… and then I wasn't sure what to say next. It was just him, just me, sitting side by side on a towel in our bathing suits. Moonlight on the lake, a warm breeze, wet hair. It was completely romantic, and I suddenly wanted him to kiss me. Not some older guy. Not some college kid. I wanted Tad, so much it actually kind of hurt. So... what now?

  Tad cleared his throat. "Ready to head up?"

  Oh… disappointment surged through me. I'd been thinking about kissing him, and he'd been thinking that it was time to go back? "Sure." I tried not to sound bummed.

  Tad hopped down and took my hand to help me jump off, but then he let go once I was on the ground. He walked me to my tent, then sort of stood there for a minute. "So, um, tomorrow we head back."

  Yeah… to the farm. "Back to real life."

  He nodded. "Back to carrots and tomatoes."

  My stomach turned to sludge at the thought. What if he returned to the old Tad? "Tad?"

  He was watching me closely. "What?"

  "Are you going to be mean again on Monday?"

  He lifted a brow. "What are you talking about?"

  "Well, you were pretty impatient with me when we were at work. Nothing like how you've been up here." Gah. How pathetic did I sound? I was a major loser. As if whether Tad was nice or not could affect me. But it did. I wanted him to keep being like this.

  His hand went toward my arm, but he dropped it before he actually touched me. "I thought you were different from how you really are. I misjudged you."

  I relaxed a little bit. That wasn't exactly an apology, but it was close. "You did?"

  He nodded. "We'll be cool."

  Cool? What did that mean? Why didn't he just grab me and kiss me and tell me he was so glad I wasn't interested in Rand because he couldn't live without me?

  He touched my shoulder. "See you in the morning.

  "In the morning." Yeah, that was so romantic.

  Then he turned away and walked off to his tent. Gave me a little wave, then disappeared through the flaps.

  Never had I wanted a boy to kiss me more, and never had I felt more at a loss for how to let him know. Or maybe he did know, and he didn't care. Or maybe he did know and the thought repulsed him. Was there any chance that he did want to kiss me and didn't have the courage?

  For the first time in my life, I needed my friends' advice on boys. Badly.

  * * *

  Sunday night, we were sitting on Blue's bed eating popcorn while I filled Natalie, Blue and Frances in on the entire weekend. I did a little show-and-tell with my faded welts from the bee stings, and got appropriate sympathy for the sorry fate of all my clothes.

  I'd had Tad's parents drop me off at Blue's house. Why would I want to go home to an empty house? After being around so many people all weekend, it would have been too lonely.

  "So, you totally like him?" Natalie whooped and raised her arms over her head in a sign of victory. "I knew it!"

  I grinned. "I owe you."

  "Darn right you do. Do you have any idea how torturous it was to ride with Rand for four hours? The guy has a major ego. He even made a move on me." She rolled her eyes and flopped on the bed. "I have no idea how he and Tad are related."

  I didn't have to ask anymore whether Natalie liked Tad. The fact she'd taken off with Rand was enough of an answer, but I really did owe her. Big time.

  Frances held up her hand. "So, let me get this straight. You went swimming with him in your bikini at night alone and he didn't try to kiss you? Not even on the cheek?"

  "Yep."

  "Why didn't he try to kiss you?"

  "How am I supposed to know? Probably doesn't like me."

  Blue and Frances exchanged hopeful glances, and I threw a pillow at them. “Can’t you forget about your bet? This is my happiness we’re talking about. You're supposed to tell me that he is madly in love with me, and he's just waiting for the right moment to make his move."

  "I do love you, Allie, but I really don't want to stuff my bra at the school dance." Blue patted my knee. "Avoiding public humiliation has to take priority."

  Stupid bet. I needed all the support I could get. "Let's scrap the bet. Please. I need help."

  "No way!" Natalie sat up. "They're about to go down, so you can't let them off the hook. We'll totally manage this on our own. I'll help you get Tad to kiss you."

  Well, she had done an amazing job this weekend, so if anyone could make it happen, Natalie could. But I eyed Blue and Frances, who weren't looking too worried. "How do we know they won't sabotage things?"

  "Because deep down inside they're your friends and would never hurt you." Natalie sounded so confident I almost believed her. "But I do think we need to kick them out if we're going to discuss plans for snaring Tad."

  "No way." Blue folded her arms. "We won't interfere, but it's only fair if we know what we're up against."

  Natalie stood up. "Sorry, but there's no chance. Allie, let's go to your house." She nodded at Frances and Blue. "We'll see you guys at work tomorrow."

  They grumbled and complained, but Natalie wouldn't let them deter her (and me) from our exit.

  As we walked down the street toward my house, each of us carrying one of my bags from the weekend, I
felt increasingly morose.

  I didn't want to go home. I didn't want to be alone in that huge house after being with people all weekend. Tad's family and my friends, it didn't matter which one. Any of them would be better than my house—

  Then I turned the corner and saw a car in my driveway that didn't belong to my mom.

  Chapter Ten

  "Whose car is that?" Natalie asked.

  "I don't know." I took my key out of my bag, way too tired to want to deal with my mom and being social or polite. "We'll sneak in the back door and go up to my room."

  Unfortunately, we hadn't even made it to the house before the front door opened and my mom appeared on the porch. "Allie! Natalie! You're just in time for dinner."

  I narrowed my eyes. Since when did my mom cook dinner? "Whose car is that?"

  "Come on in." My mom stood back and held the door for us.

  I had no choice but to go inside, but it was the last thing I wanted to do. I kept Natalie close and we stepped into the front hall.

  "To the dining room." She took our elbows and guided us to the back of the house.

  We stepped into the room and there was a man who looked as old as my mom, and a girl who looked like she was my age, only she wasn't dressed fashionably. She was wearing a flowered button-down shirt and had her hair in some weird curly thing and she had no makeup on.

  "Allie, this is my friend Jack and his daughter Martha."

  Jack and Martha at my house? At my dining-room table? All my good feelings from the weekend dissolved, and I just felt awful. These were the people that my mom had been spending all their time with instead of me? And she'd had them over to dinner at my house, without even inviting me? I was going to get my first home cooked meal in months, because she was doing it for them? I was angry and upset, and I felt utterly betrayed by all of them, by this threesome who had built a life without me, and now had the gall to take over my house, my space, the only place that had been mine for the last six years. I was too numb to speak, too afraid to open my mouth, or else I would start crying, or screaming, or something else that would let them know exactly how much they'd hurt me.

  My mom put an arm around my shoulders and another around Natalie's. "This is my daughter Allie, and her friend Natalie Page."