Miss Independent

by Kiki Leach

  Vanessa got up and ran after. “Hey! You called me a bitch earlier because you knew I was right about what I said!” She hollered, pointing. Nikki stopped at the first step. Vanessa dropped her arms and sighed. “And you’re calling me one now because I’m being one.”

  Nikki spun around to face her friend and stepped back down onto the floor.

  “You knew that I was right earlier. I apologize for how I said what I did, but not for what I said. You can’t go through life thinking that whatever you do doesn’t have consequences. Be honest. Did you really think that what I said to you earlier isn’t worth thinking about? Nobody is sitting around here calling you a whore, but when you act like--”

  “Sheila?”

  “This isn’t even about Sheila anymore, if it ever was. It’s about you, and you knew the man was married. There are no ifs, ands or buts about that. It’s fact.”

  When she realized the shower was running from the bathroom in the hallway, she took Nikki by the arm and dragged her through the hall. She didn’t trust that Maurice was actually soaping himself up in that very moment and was instead listening at the door.

  They went into the den. Nicole had a seat on the couch near the fireplace and curled her legs up as Vanessa stood above, staring down at her.

  “I knew this would be the end of our friendship.”

  “Our friendship isn’t going to end over this, Nik. I’m just really surprised that you thought that what you did was remotely okay! So much so, that you kept doing it!”

  “I never thought it was okay. I thought we were more than… I thought I was more than a mistress,” she said. “I thought I meant more to him than someone he could call in the middle of the night for sex or comfort.”

  “Maybe you do, but marriage is supposed to be sacred, and he sullied his vows by sullying with you. I love you like a sister, but these are people’s lives that you’re screwing with here.”

  “So is he.” She looked away from Vanessa and gulped. “I guess that means you think I’m shit?”

  “No, I just think you’re kind of stupid. Not in general, but about this. To go so far as this? I mean, what does his dick do? Shoot sparkles and rainbows from the tip instead of cum? Glow in the dark without the special condoms?”

  “Vanessa,” she grumbled.

  “I’m just curious! I don’t understand why you would go there otherwise. The sex might be worth it, but is your dignity?”

  Nikki dropped her feet to the floor and her face in her hands, and began silently sobbing. “I didn’t mean to go after him, V, it’s… I can’t even say it’s something that just happened, because it didn’t. We took time to get to know each other. I learned more about him just like he did with me. Once I learned he was married, I knew that meant he was off limits. I didn’t want to fall for him, but there was just something about him and I couldn’t help myself. I fell and I haven’t been able to get back up from it since. And he believes in me. He doesn’t think my acting is just some pipe dream, he really thinks I can make it.”

  She looked over at her friend, who seemed just as broken as ever. She felt like crawling inside a hole and never coming out.

  “I get what you are saying, I do. He’s older and cultured and he looks at you in a way that you’ve never looked at yourself, and only started to after he encouraged you into it. I know the type, Nik. I’ve dated that type. When I was in college, remember Adrian? But you can’t continue sleeping with him. If you do, I hate to even say it but that makes you worse than Sheila ever was. What I had with Nathan or any guy I dated after doesn’t compare to falling for someone with a five year marriage and two kids.”

  Nikki wiped the fallen hair from her face and attempted to dry her eyes with the sleeve of her jacket. “I saw them together today at the coffee shop. They were loving to one another, and caring. She really has no idea about me at all.”

  “Would you like her to have one?”

  “No. But I thought that he might’ve slipped and said something at some point.”

  “Maybe he has. Or, maybe it’s just women’s intuition from the vibe I got from her today.”

  “How so?”

  “Just the way she said your name when she was in my office, telling me you had come by. She may not know for a fact, but I think you got her antennas raised. I got the feeling she might be trying to figure some things out.”

  “Things like what?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t have a clue, but if she does know, I don’t think she’ll leave him. She seems like the type to do whatever possible to keep her marriage intact. Maybe for herself, maybe for her image. But either way, she worked too damn hard for what she has and she’s not giving that up to anyone, especially not another woman. And certainly not the one currently sleeping with her husband.”

  Nikki gulped. She understood now more than ever that she may have had an actual fight on her hands for Oscar’s affections. She started to wonder was he worth it.

  “What has he told you?” asked Vanessa.

  “He’s always maintained that he was getting a divorce. That it was only a matter of time before she signed the papers and it was done, finished. I wanted to believe it. I wanted to believe that he could change my life for the better and that I had changed his. I wanted to believe that even if I never scored another audition, or if I did but never got the part, I at least had him. And now I don’t even have that.”

  “You have me. And I know it’s not the same, but it’s not like you’re alone. Are you in love with him?”

  “I think so.”

  “Well, how long have to two been intimate?”

  “About a year.”

  “The entire time you’ve been working there? You’re in love with him, alright.” She shook her head. “I’ve never known you to keep sleeping with a guy after the third month, even when you said he was the best you ever had. Where did you go tonight? To see him?”

  “He called after I left here and wanted to talk. We met at the shop and he told me about Melanie’s magazine cover and how he’s panicking because you all want to bring the kids in from the Hamptons to do a family shoot for pictures to put inside the magazine.”

  “That must be her idea, or Alexis’. I never discussed it with either one of them, but I have no idea what went on after I left. Anyway. I am sorry for making you think that I wanted you out or that we’d no longer be friends. Did you really get a room at the Ritz?”

  “I can’t afford a room at the Ritz, V. Oscar offered me the money, but I couldn’t take it. I was just going to stay in some bum hotel for the night. Or on a park bench.”

  “Times like this would’ve been perfect for using your parents’ name and recognition.”

  “I didn’t want to stay someplace on their merit. And I can’t dig into my trust fund until I’m twenty-five.”

  “Well, then I probably would’ve just called in a few favors behind your back. Hell, depending on where you landed, maybe you would’ve been fortunate enough to stay at the same hotel as She-Devil, who by the way will be flying back into town on her broomstick soon enough.”

  “Have you talked to her?”

  “She called this evening and left me a voicemail telling me that she was flying in next week.”

  “Is Nathan coming with her?”

  “She didn’t mention him, but she’s not going to pass up an opportunity to flaunt her ring and her man in my face.”

  “How are you going to feel about seeing him again?”

  “I assume if I don’t want to break his face in my hands, then I’ve made progress.”

  “And what about Sheila?”

  “I don’t think I’ll know until I see her. But if she tells me one thing about moving forward, I’m gonna punch her lights out. I’m gonna deck her so hard, she’ll be sixty years old and still wake up in cold sweats from that deck.”

  “Then it’ll be like old times,” said Nikki.

  “Pretty much, basically. Yeah.”

  They spent the rest of the night watc
hing badly produced porn and drinking the remaining tequila in the fridge.

  Part Nine

  The following week, Sheila had finally arrived in town. Vanessa got word of her landing just a few minutes after she had hit the ground in her father’s private jet. She was a nervous wreck. Not because of Sheila, but because she feared what she may do upon seeing her again since she still wasn’t sure what it would be. She hadn’t gotten any sleep the night before and what little rest she did get managed to be interrupted by the sound of a ticking time bomb ready to go off inside her own head. She had hoped her brains would splatter across the walls as a result because it gave a valid excuse as to why she wouldn’t be able to ‘catch up’ with Sheila today and discuss how much she had in fact moved on from the antics of high school.

  She sat waiting for her at the Bistro on Madison Avenue. And as per the norm of her carelessness, Sheila was over twenty minutes late from the time agreed upon.

  “She was the one who insisted on this restaurant,” Vanessa mumbled to herself, “and she couldn’t even bother to get here first.” She took a sip of water and rolled her eyes.

  Vanessa thought of leaving, but knew if she didn’t see her now, she’d never be able to get it over with. The restaurant was closed off, sort of in the back of the others lining the sidewalk. She knew that if anything were to happen, there would be little witnesses to help prove Sheila’s case. It wasn’t her first choice to meet there, but she didn’t want to meet her at the airport, because they weren’t friends. She didn’t want to meet her at her home, because they weren’t friends. And she didn’t want to meet her at her office, because this wasn’t business, it was personal. And only friends and business associates were allowed to meet her at work.

  By the time 1:30pm rolled around, she had finished two mimosas and was working on a third when she saw a familiar face maneuvering through the door of the restaurant. But it wasn’t Sheila. It was Nathan. She sat up straight, taking time to lower her glass to the table so as not to shatter it all over her hands. She exhaled sharply, then shut her mouth when she realized it was hanging wide open.

  Go… Damn you, she thought.

  Nathan took her breath away, and she was pissed about it. He was dressed in a dark grey suit with a matching silk tie. His shirt was white and crisp with the collar appropriately placed over the lapels of his jacket, bringing out the even tones of his smooth caramel skin.

  Sheila must have taught him that. Certainly not something he would have learned on his own.

  He looked as if he had just come from a runway himself; as if he had leapt right off the catwalk and strolled across the street to meet her. He looked good and had gotten so much sexier and appeared much more sophisticated since high school, but immediately she felt set up to make a fool of herself.

  When he saw her, he smiled wide, beamed in fact. To him, it felt like he was seeing an old friend for the first time in years, and not the woman he had left behind for another. As he approached, she quickly drank the remainder of her mimosa and stood up, straightening her dress and doing her best to keep her feet in place and not fall over the chair. She looked down at herself, making sure she appeared appropriate enough, and was surprised when he opened his arms for a hug.

  She thought about slugging him instead, but they were in public, and she was determined to be civilized.

  “Vanessa,” he said in a cool voice. His tone was always deep but seemed to have lowered overtime.

  He slid his arms around her waist and pressed his hands against her back, even though she hadn’t openly welcomed his gesture. She cautiously wrapped her arms around him and instantly remembered what it was like to be in his. For a few moments, being embraced by him it felt so ‘right’ in her head. She didn’t want to let him go. She didn’t want his arms to release her body. They were strong, muscular, and he held her so tight. As he relaxed himself against her, she closed her eyes and she inhaled him, and he smelled like cinnamon and peppermint.

  “My, my,” he said, backing away. “Vanessa Rae Brown. You look as beautiful as ever, if not more than the last time I saw you.”

  “A lot has changed in five years.”

  “Your beauty’s only enhanced since then.”

  She fluffed her hair and tucked it behind her ears. “Thanks.”

  She tried as best as she could to physically and emotionally detach herself from his words as well as what he may have actually meant.

  It wasn’t working so well.

  She cleared her throat and looked him up and down while trying not to linger on certain aspects of his physique.

  “You don’t look so bad for a soon to be married man,” she said, hoping the words would help her more than him. It was as if she needed a reminder that he was no longer hers, and that within the next few minutes, this conversation would no longer matter to either one of them. More so him than her, or so she believed.

  “Yeah… Soon to be married man.” He recoiled a little, as if she had just insulted his favorite football team or his manhood.

  She took note of the sudden glare in his eye, but disregarded it. “Um, where’s Sheila? I thought I was supposed to be meeting her here.”

  “She’s coming, later. She had some things to take care of back at the hotel we’re staying. It’s the same as where the reunion is taking place, The Palace.”

  “Right. Nothing but the best for Miss…” She stopped herself from speaking ill and chuckled. “Sheila. Anyway, wanna sit?”

  He reached around, holding her chair as she sat first. He watched her every move and thought to himself, appreciating for the first time since graduation how much he had actually missed seeing her, all of her.

  When she caught him staring, he smiled. She did the same and then lowered her eyes to the table.

  “I had no idea you were even coming,” she told him. “I kept asking Sheila but she never really answered me.”

  “We’re trying to keep a low profile.”

  “Why?”

  The waiter interrupted, asking what he wanted to drink.

  “Scotch on the rocks,” he said.

  The waiter checked for his ID, approving before turning to Vanessa.

  “No more thanks, I’m fine.”

  As he walked away, Vanessa lifted a brow.

  “Since when do you drink scotch?”

  “Since I’ve been doing nothing but helping to prepare briefs over the last few years.”

  “Briefs? No boxers?” she asked. He laughed a little, as did she. “No seriously, I’m glad you’re finally doing something you’ve always wanted.”

  “I’m almost there. Law school’s pretty tough. A lot tougher than I expected, and time consuming. I still have to pass the bar exam at some point and my studies aren’t going as well as they once did. Then again, I had an amazing tutor back then.”

  “Yeah, but you were willing to learn too. And it’s a lot easier when you have a friend to help you. I’m guessing you don’t have much of that help now, what with Sheila busy planning the wedding and all.”

  He smiled sadly, knocking the table with his knuckles.

  “Un…less you made friends in some of your classes, or something?” she asked.

  Things were becoming awkward. She didn’t know what else to say.

  “Things are going well,” he said. “But look at you, Miss Editor-in-Chief of a world-wide sensation. Your magazine is a global phenomenon.”

  “Oh wow.” She lowered her head, embarrassed. “I wouldn’t exactly go there.”

  “I would. You should be proud of your accomplishments, V. You made the covers of Vogue and Vanity Fair look sexy as hell and at the same time. You’ve done really well for yourself and I’m proud of that.”

  “Thanks. So have you.”

  The waiter returned with his drink. Vanessa tore from Nathan’s eyes, but his never left her face. When she turned back, she noticed him staring again and adjusted herself in her chair. It was unnerving but at the same time it also relaxed her, because it meant th
at with this much staring and observation, he still felt something. Was it love or lust? She didn’t know or care. But it was something, she could see it in the way he stared at her and in the way his arms lingered around her body as they hugged. Whether or not she felt the same seemed irrelevant at the moment.

  “So how are Mo and Nikki?” He took a few gulps of his drink and scooped some ice from the glass with his tongue.

  “They’re great. Nikki’s still pursuing acting and Maurice works for an ad agency.”

  “Good for him. Guess the modeling gigs finally dried up.”

  She grinned. “Not exactly. He chose to stop modeling because he wanted something a bit more stable. Good looks can only get you so far in life.”

  “True, but he was making damn good money and traveling the world. What the hell would make him give all of that up now as opposed to maybe ten years from now?”

  “Well, he thought if he gave it up, that we could…” She paused, remembering Nathan had no idea of her and Maurice’s relationship while she was in college, seeing as he and Sheila had left New York for Los Angeles not long after graduation. She gently flipped her hair behind her and shook her head. “Never mind, it’s not important.”

  He nodded, suspicious, but remained silent on it. “Is he still living with you?” he asked, fiddling with his glass.

  “Yeah, as is Nikki.”

  “It’s funny, when I heard you two… three, were living together, I was surprised. I never pictured Mo living with two women he never tried to sleep with…”

  She coughed a little and sipped from her glass. “Mm-hmm.”

  “And Nikki always seemed more like a free bird. The fact that neither one of them choose to leave the nest--”

  “I’m their roommate, not their mother, Nathan. They’re free to go whenever they choose.”

  “I guess you’re right. But free rent, and food.”

  “They pay rent.” She laughed but was becoming annoyed. “What does it matter to you of all people anyway?”

  “It doesn’t,” he said with a grin. “I guess I’m just used to looking out for you, that’s all.”