Amish Summer of Courage: Book Six

by Samantha Jillian Bayarr

  Lord, please forgive me for lying to this man who is my earthly father, but I can’t let him hurt the people I have grown to love.

  Before he lost his nerve, Levi’s fingers began to roll over the keys to form a message to Bruce. He hoped it would be enough to stave him off while giving him the illusion that he had a handle on the situation. He pushed send on his final text. “I am very close to getting to the truth.”

  Chapter 15

  After a fairly sleepless night, Levi rose from the bed reluctantly so he could begin his day. The sun was just making its way over the edge of the horizon, boasting beautiful crimson, amber, and violet highlights across the sparse clouds gathered there. Chickens rallied in the yard for their feed, the roosters crowing relentlessly.

  I thought you were only supposed to crow once when the sun came up? You haven’t shut up for the past twenty minutes!

  Hiram hadn’t yet made it to the barn, and Levi was content with the animals to keep him company. With Hiram here, he might be tempted to spill his guts about why he was here. The light of day had changed his mind about such foolish thoughts. He was prepared to continue the charade in order to keep the weekly wages flowing to Bruce. At least until he could think of a way out of this mess.

  Once he reached the fields, he would be out there alone for the entire day. Hiram, according to Nettie, was still too tired to work in the hot sun. Although he felt bad for his boss, he was determined to keep clear from him as much as possible and do a thorough job to really earn his wages. Being only his second week at the Miller’s, he was determined to prove his worth and keep his job—even if that meant lying to his own father. Meeting this family had already taught him the value of others. His loyalties were beginning to take root in this family, and he would not let them down.

  The breeze rustled the corn stalks that had grown tall enough that Levi could barely see over the tops of them. This was the life he desired; there was no doubt about it. The hard work didn’t bother him. He suddenly found joy in working for his meals. How would he be able to provide for himself once this job ended? He had to start thinking of his future. He didn’t want to end up like Bruce. He hated the thought of leaving, but he couldn’t go on deceiving the people of the community. Was it possible for him to convert? Did the Amish even allow such a thing?

  The clanging of the Miller’s dinner bell rang in Levi’s ears. He looked up at the sun that was still low in the eastern sky. It wasn’t close enough to noon for him to return for a meal. His heart pounded in his chest. Something was wrong! Levi took off running toward the house, not thinking of anything but his friends and their well-being.

  When he cleared the rows of corn, all he could see was Nettie crouched on the ground near the back porch. She was hovering over Hiram, who lay lifeless in the dirt.

  Levi skidded to a stop just short of them and collapsed next to his boss. “What happened? Did he have another spell?”

  Nettie’s face was flush and she didn’t take her eyes off her husband. “I don’t know. I found him out here when I came out to empty the mop-bucket.”

  Levi was relieved when he could see that Hiram was still breathing. “Did you call the doctor?”

  Nettie shook her head. “I don’t know how to use the phone in the barn.”

  Levi scrambled to his feet and ran to the barn. It was the second time in a week that he would make the call for his boss and friend.

  After hanging up with Dr. Davis, Levi ran out to tell Nettie he was on his way. The relief in her eyes put a lump in his throat.

  “Let’s get him inside and see if we can get him to drink some water.”

  Nettie nodded, not looking up from her husband, whose head was nestled in her lap. He seemed to go in and out of consciousness, and that worried Levi. Putting a hand under Hiram’s arm, he and Nettie helped the man inside the house like they had the previous week. Was this going to be a regular thing? Levi hoped not.

  “Help me upstairs,” Hiram mumbled.

  Levi was happy to hear him speaking coherently, even if he didn’t seem to have any strength whatsoever. Wrapping Hiram’s arm around his shoulder, Levi hung onto his wrist for leverage, and put his other arm around the man’s torso to keep him snug at his side for the trip up the stairs. Nettie stayed behind her husband to help steady him, making the short journey a little more manageable. Once inside the small room, Levi steered his boss toward the bed. He pivoted the man with one quick movement, putting him square in the middle of the bed. Nettie rushed to his head, resting it gently on his pillow and smoothing back his hair.

  “He feels a little warm like he did last time. I’ll get a cool cloth for his forehead.”

  Levi went to the window and pushed it open to bring in the breeze that had kept him cool out in the field all morning. Storm clouds were rolling in, and Levi was grateful. They could use some rain.

  Since when do I care if it rains?

  He looked over at his boss lying helplessly on his bed.

  I care because this man has been so good to me. Lord, bring the rain for this man’s vegetables that he grows to feed his family. Please bring healing to Hiram. He’s an honorable man, and I can’t bear to lose him.

  Levi turned from the window, but looked back out toward the road when he heard the thunderous footfalls of a horse being pushed to its limits to get the doctor here quickly. Nettie rushed back into the room with a wet cloth and a glass of water for her husband.

  Levi tipped his hat. “I’m going out to take care of the doc’s horse. I’ll be back when the he’s had a chance to examine Hiram.”

  Nettie looked up briefly, sending a smile of thanks to him. Levi walked out of the room feeling he didn’t deserve her trust.

  Chapter 16

  “Do you want me to take you home?” Levi asked. “It won’t take long to hitch up the pony cart.”

  Rachel sighed. “I’d rather walk. Will you walk with me?”

  Levi nodded. The rest of the family had left Hiram’s home an hour before, but Rachel had stayed behind to wash dishes and straighten the kitchen for Nettie so she could remain at her husband’s side.

  During his exam, it had come out that Hiram had been suffering for more than a year with a heart condition that the doctor had under control with medication. But now, it seemed his current dose was failing him. Doctor Davis had some concern that Hiram had suffered a mild heart attack, but the stubborn man would not agree to a trip to the hospital. After an increase in his medication, he was already starting to regain his coloring. That didn’t stop Levi from worrying about him.

  After walking some distance in total silence except for the occasional crunch of a rock under foot, Rachel nudged Levi. “Why are you so quiet tonight? Last night I could barely get in a single word. Now, I think I could talk for an hour, and I fear you might not hear a word of it.”

  “I’m worried. I know I shouldn’t be, but I can’t help it.”

  Rachel cupped her arm in Levi’s, sending a wave of heat coursing through him.

  “I always find that if I’m worried about something, distraction always works.”

  She was right. He was currently so distracted by her arm being intertwined with his, he could barely think of anything else. It was comforting to have her so near him, and that was a feeling he didn’t think he could ever live without. In the short time since he’d come to work for Hiram, he’d never felt more accepted than he did right now. Was it possible she would still like him even if she knew the truth? The Amish seemed to give their love unconditionally, and that confused him. He’d always had to earn any attention, good or bad, from Bruce. It usually came with a price.

  The cricket’s song filled the warm summer air, while the gentle breeze rustled the leaves on the trees that lined the road. This was the most peaceful Levi had felt his entire life. How could he give this up? How could he give up Rachel when his job here was done? The truth was; he didn’t think he could, even if he wanted to.

  “Do you allow outsiders into your community?”<
br />
  Rachel looked at him briefly. “You mean Englischers?”

  “Jah.”

  She smiled warmly. “We have had a few Englischers, and even a few from other communities join us. Our Bishop is very lenient. Isn’t yours?”

  Levi cleared his throat. “I don’t know that much about him. I only met him a few times when I attended services with my cousin. My daed isn’t exactly a church-going man.”

  Rachel tightened her grip on his arm. “How sad for you. Has your daed turned his back on the church?”

  Levi shrugged. “Somehow I doubt he was ever a believer. But I am. I’m very new to my faith, though.”

  Rachel kicked at rocks along the road. “I can’t imagine my life without my faith.”

  Levi swallowed hard. “I feel the same way. I don’t know how I managed my entire life without it.”

  Rachel giggled. It was one of the most pleasant sounds Levi had ever heard. He couldn’t remember the last time he really laughed.

  “Now that you have it, you will never be without it. Gott is never far from us unless we turn our backs on Him. What about your mamm?”

  That wasn’t a question Levi cared to address. How could he tell her his mother had been a prostitute and that his father had been her regular companion? The way his dad told the story, his mother had dropped him off on Bruce’s doorstep two days after he’d been born, and then went back to her profession. She’d visited sparsely until he was about seven years old, but he didn’t remember her—not that he cared to.

  “I don’t know where she is. According to my daed, she dropped me off after I was born and only saw me a handful of times. I don’t know her.”

  Rachel slowed her steps as they neared her farm. “Perhaps that was the turning point for your daed that made him turn his back on Gott. Maybe it hurt him too deeply to trust anymore. Grief will make a person question everything.”

  Was Rachel correct? Had his father loved his mother so much that it changed him when she chose to return to a life of prostitution over staying with him and raising their child? Was it possible Bruce was a better man before she left him? Probably not if he was frequently visiting with a prostitute. Still, it made him wonder why Bruce had made the choice to care for him instead of getting rid of him like his own mother had. Why had he raised him so harshly? Was it possible his father blamed him for his mother leaving?

  “I suppose anything is possible. He is a bitter man. Has been as long as I can remember.”

  Rachel let her arm slip until her fingers met his. She slowly intertwined her fingers in his, sending tingling jitters through him.

  “I’m so sorry you missed out on having your mamm raise you.”

  Levi turned to face her. “Nettie is so kind to me; she makes me wonder what it would have been like to grow up with two parents instead of one.”

  “She has been very gut for mei grossdaddi. That’s how I know he will fight his weakness—to stay with her. They haven’t been together very long, and I know he is not yet ready to leave her.”

  Levi pushed down the lump in his throat. Where had all this emotion suddenly come from? If Bruce would ever catch him as close to tears as he was now, he’d take a switch to him. His dad had always told him that crying made him look weak. Right now, he felt pretty weak, but he welcomed the strength God seemed to be offering him at the moment.

  Chapter 17

  The rest of the week was very busy for Levi as he took over the entire workload of Hiram’s farm by himself. Hiram’s sons and grandsons had all offered to help, but he told them he had complete confidence in his hired hand. That confidence filled Levi with the courage to face every new experience with enthusiasm. With only a few verbal instructions, Levi felt ready for each day. He was so busy, he’d neglected his contact with Bruce. He had saved his only free time to be spent with Rachel. He knew he couldn’t ignore Bruce indefinitely, but he wished he could.

  As he shuffled in from the fields alone for the third day in a row, Levi felt both exhaustion and exhilaration at having completed an honest day’s work. His clothing was dusty, and he felt like he had ten pounds of dirt on his skin. He lifted the straw hat from his head and fanned the back of his neck. Aside from keeping the sun off his face, he couldn’t see what purpose the hat served. It made him too warm, but he wore it to prevent even more suspicion against him than he already felt. He didn’t dare speak much to Nettie when she served him lunch, for fear he might say the wrong thing. When Hiram instructed him, he listened intently and didn’t do much more than nod his answers.

  He needed a shower, but he didn’t want to go into the house just yet. He’d eyed the pond at the far end of the property several times, thinking it looked like a refreshing spot to take a dip. Walking toward the water, he could feel the temperature in the breeze shifting a few degrees cooler. Already he felt refreshed, but the anticipation of the cool water was too much temptation to resist as he began to unbutton his shirt. Pushing down his suspenders, he let them fall to his sides as he loosened the shirttails from his trousers. Pulling off his boots and socks brought even more relief.

  Levi stepped toward the edge of the pond where frogs sunned themselves lazily on top of water-lily leaves. The water was clear in the bright sunlight, the dark, sandy bottom inviting his toes to burrow in the cool mud. From the house, he could hear the faint clang of the dinner bell, but he was too preoccupied with taking a quick swim to rinse off the dust and sweat of a hard day’s work.

  The moment his feet sank in the muddy bottom, dirt clouds swirled around his feet. He didn’t care; the water brought instant relief to his overheated body. With the bottoms of his pant-legs now submerged, he wondered if it would be more practical to continue or remove the pants and swim in his boxers. Knowing how conservative the Amish were, he decided it was best to leave the pants on in case anyone should spot him swimming. With Hiram’s sister, Bess, running the B&B that bordered the pond, he knew it was possible she could have guests that would be out on the water using the canoes or paddle-boats she rented out.

  Wading out a little further past the lilies and croaking frogs, Levi dove under and swam a good stretch in the sparkling water. To him, this was better than taking a shower, and much more refreshing. As his head broke the surface of the still water, he could see Rachel standing on the shore looking out at him. While treading water, he watched as she pulled of her shoes and stockings and stepped into the edge of the water.

  She cupped her hand over her mouth and shouted out to him. “Are you going to come in and eat dinner? I rang the bell, but when you didn’t come in, Nettie sent me to look for you.”

  He swam toward her, making ripples on the smooth surface of the water. When he reached shallow water, he stood, exposing his bare chest. He wasn’t shy about his looks; he had always worked out and took pride in his six-pack abs. But the look of shock on Rachel’s face told him he should hurry to the shore and put his shirt on. The strange thing was, she didn’t look away even though he expected her to. Was it possible she was attracted to his physical side?

  He stood in front of her, allowing her to look at him. Was it wrong that he wanted to pull her into his arms and kiss her? From the look on her face, he would guess she was thinking the same thing.

  She blinked. “I brought left-over bread from the bakery—for dinner.”

  Rachel chided herself for blurting out such a random statement. But she couldn’t take her eyes off Levi’s muscular frame, and she had no idea what to do about it. His wet hair lay to one side, and his water-soaked pants clung to him. His bare chest glistening against the low-lying sun. If she wasn’t so worried about him thinking ill of her, she would have kissed him right there. The temptation to reach out and touch his bare flesh surprised her.

  She stumbled backward. “Do you want me to get you a towel so you can dry off before you come in for dinner?”

  Levi smiled at her. He could see how much his presence made her nervous, and he found it cute. If he kissed her would she run off? Or would she let
him?

  Levi shook the inappropriate thoughts from his mind. “A towel would be very nice. Danki.”

  Chapter 18

  Levi rode into town, grateful the horse knew where she was going because he couldn’t concentrate on the road at all. His thoughts were too preoccupied to notice the Englischers bustling around conducting business with the many Amish shops in town. He didn’t even feel particularly nervous about his weekly visit with Bruce. He almost felt invincible as he steered the horse along the outskirts of town to the little motel in which Bruce had taken up residence.

  His mind kept drifting to the night before and the look on Rachel’s face when he’d stepped out of the pond shirtless and dripping wet. He reveled in the way she’d looked at him with a yearning in her eyes. They’d continued to eye one another throughout dinner, and when he walked her home, she’d let him hold her hand. He could almost feel the warmth of her hand even now.

  As Levi stepped down from the pony cart, he felt a tight grip on the back of his collar catching him off guard.

  “Boy, what took you so long?” Bruce dragged him by the arm into his motel room.

  Levi nearly gagged from the smell. The drapes were pulled closed, but he could see the sheets on the double bed were stained with vomit. An old rotary-dial phone sat on the single night stand beside a digital clock radio. The numbers on the clock flipped to the hour and the radio blared out an oldies tune. Bruce lurched toward it and slammed the snooze button on the top.

  “I don’t know how to shut that thing off. I tried to set the alarm, but I can’t get it to stop playing that loud music. I didn’t want to unplug it because I need to know what time it is.”

  Levi could see that Bruce was hung-over and not thinking straight because of it, so he went over to the clock and adjusted the off button. “It should stay off now. You just push this button right here.”