“Are you okay?”
“I…I don’t believe this.” His mouth hung open as he continued to stare at the picture. I waited for him to say something, anything, but he didn’t. He remained silent, looking at me, then at the paper in his hand, his eyes blinking repeatedly. “But you said you had an IUD.”
“I did. It didn’t work.”
“Fu—ck.”
At that moment, I knew. He didn’t want any part of this. Coming here was the biggest mistake ever. The unspoken words of my mother were right — just like always. Raven wasn’t ready to accept the responsibility. I’d be raising our children on my own.
“Don’t worry.” I snatched the slick paper from his hand. “I don’t want anything from you. I just wanted the kids to know who their dad is. I had also kind of hoped you wanted to be a part of their lives. Ya know, since you didn’t know your dad.”
His nostrils flared to life and his chest rose, like a dragon getting ready to blow fire. He took in a deep breath and unleased on me. “Fuck you, Lexi. That’s not fair.” He shoved his finger in my face, keeping it several inches from my cheek.
I blinked twice, not believing what I had just heard. No way in hell was I going to stand there and take his shit. I had done everything for him and he had proved to me, once again, that he was still the same old Raven. “You know what? Life isn’t fair, so fuck you, Raven.” I darted to the taxi, tears streaming down my face. “Go, just go!” I yelled as I slammed the door behind me.
“Okay, okay.” The driver peeled out and I didn’t bother to turn around to see if Raven had come after me. “Where to?”
I sighed heavily, unable to stop the tears. “The airport.” We’d never talked to each other that way before. Raven held no regard for the news I shared with him. How could he be so cold? So heartless? I had hoped time alone would have helped him clear his head, but it hadn’t. We were done. Over. Why did life have to suck so hard?
I heaved forward as the string that was holding the pieces of my heart together snapped, scattering them into a million pieces. The pain traveled throughout my body, creating new holes that I knew could never be repaired. I was permanently damaged. The Raven’s trap had turned deadly.
After several long minutes, I managed to stop crying. I fell against the back of the seat and stared out the window, watching everything pass by me in a blur. No matter how much it hurt, I had done what I needed to do. I had told Raven. Now I could get on with my life. I was stupid for thinking that he’d want to be a part of our babies’ lives. I’d just have to do it without him. I had done my part, but he refused to own up to his.
As the taxi drove through the neighborhood, we passed a local high school. A big sign in front read Summer Football Camp pre-season game tonight. The Dragons vs The Bears this Saturday at 6 p.m. I closed my eyes. I had to be seeing things. I relaxed against the seat and took a deep breath. I would be okay. I was a strong, independent woman. I didn’t need Raven. I could make it on my own.
As I opened my eyes, the light turned green, and the driver turned onto the onramp for the freeway. I glanced out the front windshield, making sure we were headed in the right direction when a huge billboard caught my attention. South Padre Island - Where the fun begins. A whimper escaped my lips and my shoulders slumped. It was where it ended, not where it began.
“Are you okay, Miss?” the driver asked, a look of concern covering his face.
“Yes. Pregnant and very emotional, that’s all.”
“Oh. Sorry. I mean, congratulations. That’s if you want it to be.” He stumbled through the words and I turned away, not wanting to hear his pathetic excuses.
The taxi came to a halt and I cringed. “What’s wrong?”
“Sorry, looks like construction traffic. Tell you what, I’ll flip off the meter for now.”
That was honestly the least of my worries. I kept my eyes on the side of the road, hoping to avoid anything else when I saw a church with a huge sign on the front. First Christian Church - Where families come first.
“Oh, God, why?” I held the sonogram to my chest, cradling my unborn children.
I promise to take care you guys no matter what. Mommy loves you both.
I covered my face and continued to cry. Why had Raven reacted that way? Did he not love me anymore? What had I done to deserve this? Nothing had gone the way I had planned. Life really did suck.
“I know a shortcut,” the driver announced. I was sure he was tired of hearing me cry. “I’ll have to do some back tracking, but I’ll get you to the airport. What time is your flight?”
“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “I don’t have a ticket yet.”
His eyes narrowed. “I’ll still get you there on time.”
The driver sped past cars, driving on the shoulder until he reached the next exit. He raced down the service road and made a U-turn, heading back in the direction of Raven’s grandmother’s house. The taxi came to a sudden halt as cars lined the service road. Apparently, everyone headed to the airport had the same idea. The driver inched his way forward, switching lanes at every opportunity, and then cut through a parking lot. Conveniently, I caught a glimpse of another sign. At Lincoln Memorial Hospital, we not only specialize in birthing babies, but birthing multiple babies. Tours daily at our new women’s center.
“Stop! Stop!” I pounded on the back of the driver’s seat, unable to handle the pain tugging at my heart.
“Okay. Okay.” The driver stopped the car and put it in park. “What is it?”
I motioned for him to give me a minute and I cried.
Cried for Raven.
Cried for everything we had been through.
Cried for our unborn children.
Cried because my heart only belonged to him.
What the hell was I doing? Why was I allowing my stubbornness to get in the way? He needed to know how I felt, what I wanted.
Him.
Only him.
Only Raven could feel the void in my heart.
Only Raven could make me feel like no one else in the world mattered.
Only he could hear the sound of my soul.
I needed him.
I was the only one who belonged in The Raven’s trap. Period. And it was my job to make him see that.
“Take me back,” I heaved, trying to stop the tears.
“Take you back?” His voice lilted and he must have thought I was some kind of crazy pregnant woman. And I was — nothing but a hot mess. Raven’s pregnant hot mess.
“Yes, take me back to…” I searched for my phone to get the address when I realized I didn’t have my purse. I must have dropped it when I was arguing with Raven. “Shit, I don’t have my phone.”
“It’s okay. I have the address.” He pressed a button on his GPS and the addressed popped up.
I wiped the tears away and blew my nose as he flung the car into drive. I had to tell him, plead my love for him one more time. If he still turned me down, then at least I could tell our children that I did everything I could to earn their father’s love. That I had done everything I could to help him turn his life around. I owed it not only to them, but to myself. I owed it to us. I was willing to put my pride aside and find out if there was any hope for our love.
The taxi driver drove like a bat out of hell and had me in front of Raven’s grandmother’s house in less than five minutes. “Thank you, just a minute and I’ll get my wallet.”
“It’s okay,” he waved for me to get out of his vehicle, “it’s on the house. I’ll just say you were in labor. No charge.” He smiled.
“Thank you.” I grabbed my other bags and got out of the car.
As soon as I shut the door, the taxi hauled ass, tires spinning and smoke curling as he raced out of sight. I looked for Raven, but he was nowhere to be seen. Dropping my bag, I hurried to the front door as fast as I could with my little belly before I changed my mind. As I raised my hand to bang on the door, it swung open and I plunged forward.
“Lexi! Thank, God.” Raven
caught me in his arms. “Why did you leave? I was so worried about you.” He smothered me in kisses, catching me totally off guard.
My hands flew to his clean shaven face as I tried to capture his lips. But they were all over me. I could barely catch my breath, let alone his lips. “I thought you didn’t care.” I held him steady until he pressed his forehead to mine.
“No, baby. I was in shock, that’s all. I’m so sorry.” Raven’s eyes connected with mine and that familiar gaze in his beautiful green eyes reemerged, capturing my heart once more and pulling the pieces back together until they formed that perfect shape.
“I’m sorry, too.” I didn’t think twice about accepting his apology.
“I love you. I love you so damn much it hurts.” The pain behind his voice broke me quickly, sucking me right back into that familiar trap. But I didn’t care. I needed to be in his trap forever.
“I love you, too, Raven.” I pressed my lips to his, savoring every bit of his taste. I missed it so damn much. I didn’t ever want to be without it again. “Not one day has passed that I didn’t think of you. Of us. Of our babies. I never stopped loving you.”
“Oh, baby, I was wrong. So wrong to leave you.” His hands traveled up and down my arms, caressing me and filling the void that had plagued me for the past twelve weeks. Not only did I need his magnetic touch, I needed to feel that warmth more than he knew. “I feel terrible that you’ve been facing this on your own. When did you find out?”
“Four weeks ago,” I said in a hushed voice.
“And you had no way of telling me.” His eyes closed for a moment as he pressed his forehead to mine. “I’m such an idiot.”
I cupped his cheek and held his face tenderly in the palm of my hand. “Well, you’re my idiot.” I sniffed, relieved that his love had truly come back to me. His hand covered mine, warmth wrapping around me, causing every tense muscle to finally relax.
“Will you ever forgive me?” he asked against my lips. His words peeled away the hurt, the torment, the pain, until they found their way to the center of my chest. They implanted themselves, ready to seal all the pieces that had just come together. All I had to do was accept it.
“It’s not that easy, Raven. I don’t want you to take me back just because I’m pregnant. I need to know that you love me, regardless. That you want to be with me, no matter what.” I lifted his chin, reconnecting our gazes. “I can’t keep going through this. You’re breaking my heart and I’m not sure how much more I can take.”
“I promise I won’t hurt you again,” he pleaded with so much emotion, my heart was ready to be sealed. “I’ll do whatever it takes, baby. Please, just say you’ll take me back.”
“I want to, Raven, but—”
“But what?”
I hesitated for a moment before deciding that I needed to tell him. Today was all about being open and honest. I had nothing to lose. “I’m scared that the next time something bad happens, you’ll walk out that door and not only leave me, but our children.”
He shook his head. “No, Lexi. I could never do that to you — to them.” His hand dropped to my stomach and his eyes closed. Tears rolled off his cheeks and onto my stomach. My throat tightened and my own tears released, but I pressed forward, being totally transparent with him.
“But you have, Raven. That’s just it.”
“Then I’m going to have to prove you wrong.” With the pads of his thumbs, he wiped my sorrow away. “These past few months have been hell. And I’ve realized how much I need you… how much I love you.”
“And I need you just as much. Our children need you. But you’ll have to work really hard to prove that to me. Twenty minutes ago, you didn’t want to hear about other kinds of work and now you’re ready to do whatever it takes.” I searched his eyes deeply and they were just as transparent as I had been. Had Raven learned to finally let me in? Bring down the walls and allow me to truly see him?
“I know it sounds crazy, but when I saw you get in that taxi and leave, I never thought I’d see you again. See my children.” His hand rested on my stomach. “I could never live with myself knowing that I abandoned you and them. So, yes, I’ll do whatever you want me to do. As long as I can be with you and the babies, I’ll do it.” Raven seemed eager to prove his love for me, but I knew words were just words. I needed to see action behind those words in order to believe him.
With a firm voice, I said, “I want you to continue the counseling sessions.” He let out a soft sigh, but I didn’t stop. “When you were seeing Dr. Galen, you were doing so much better. You were healing, recovering.”
“I know.” His chin dipped.
“You need that, Raven.” I lowered my head, trying to see his face. “Our relationship needs it. But most of all, our children are going to need a daddy that can show them what it takes to be strong, to fight back, to persevere through the darkest times.” Silence filled the space between us. His forehead tightened as his eyebrows drew together. “Do you think you can do that, Raven?”
Slowly, he lifted his head. “As long as I’m with you, I can do anything, Lexi.” He laced his fingers through mine and dropped to his knees. His green eyes filled with guilt, apologies, and most of all, remorse. “Please tell me you’ll still be my wife. There’s no one else in the world that I’d rather be a husband to.” He placed our hands on my stomach and smoothed my shirt over my round belly. “Hi. It’s your long lost dad. But I’m here now and I’m going to take care of you and your mom. I promise to always be there for you, no matter what.” He rested his face against my stomach, keeping our hands steady on my bump. Tears flowed down my cheeks and I felt the wetness from his eyes seep through my shirt.
My stomach quivered and the babies turned. “Oh, they heard you,” I giggled, ecstatic that he had that effect on them.
Raven’s lips turned upward in a big smile as tears dripped from his eyes. “That’s because they know who their dad is.”
“I love you, Raven.” I wrapped my arms around him and held him close.
“I promise to love you forever, Lexi. Just give me one more chance. Please.”
“Only if you really want my heart. I’m done letting you borrow it. If you really want it, you’re going to have work for it and once you have it, you’re going to be stuck with it for the rest of your life.”
“Good, because it’s the only heart I want, aside for our children.” His eyes widened as he stood up. “Damn, we’re having twins.”
I laughed. “Yes, in twenty-eight weeks.”
“Do we know what they are?” He continued to caress my stomach, as if he couldn’t wait to hold them.
“Not yet. But at the next appointment, we should know.”
He grinned. “This is going to be fun.”
I snorted. “Uh, we’ll see. Luke and I were terrible when we were little.”
“I guess that means one thing.” His expression turned serious.
“What’s that?” I sniffed.
“You’ll be the one disciplining them.”
I shook my head. “Oh, no, we’re doing it together.”
“And that’s what I love about you.” His hand spread under my jaw and he cupped my cheek. “I can honestly tell you that there wasn’t a single day that passed where I didn’t think of you. I never stopped loving you.”
“I never stopped loving you, Raven.”
“So, you’ll still marry me?” He wasn’t giving up.
“Let’s just take this slow, okay? Like I said, you have a lot of proving to do.”
He nodded. “I know. And I will. It was wrong of me to walk out on you like that. I feel terrible. I was so selfish. Not being there for you.” He caressed my stomach. “For our babies.” “Please, Lexi. Just tell me you’ll marry me.” His eyes glazed over once more. “I promise you won’t be disappointed. I’ll be everything you need and more. I’ll do whatever it takes to earn your trust and show that I can support us. Just, please, don’t leave me. I need to know you’re on my side.”
I
wiped the tears from his cheeks. “Raven, there’s only side I want to be on.”
With hopeful eyes, he asked, “What side is that?”
“The winning side,” I said with a huge smile.
The End
Epilogue
One Year Later
“You look gorgeous, Lexi.” Mom kissed my cheek. “Radiant as ever.” Tears stained her bright pink cheeks.
“Stop crying, Mom. You’re messing up your makeup.” I handed her a tissue. I was glad we had started getting along and that she had finally accepted that I was marrying Raven.
“I know, I’m sorry.” She blotted the area under her eyes.
“And if you don’t stop, you’re going to make me cry.” I blinked a few times, warding off the impending threat.
She shook her head. “No, crying. Its bad luck.”
I waved off her comment. “No, it’s not. That’s just some stupid old wives tale.” My phone chimed and I glanced at the reminder. My mother was right; caring for two babies wasn’t easy and I used my phone to keep me on track with everything. “Who has the babies? Where’s Mimi?”
“Relax,” Delaney said, shutting the door. “I just checked on them. Mimi and Trish have them and they’re doing fine.” Raven’s grandmother, Mimi, had been a life saver; practically moving in with us to help care for the twins. I didn’t protest. I needed all the help I could get.
“Okay.” I took a breath and tried to relax. I was a little nervous. Raven and I were headed to the Caribbean for a week without them. Jonah and Nevara had barely turned six months old and I knew Mimi and Trish would have their hands full. My mom and dad had offered to stay at our house in New Orleans, but I didn’t want to inconvenience them.
“Yes, everything is going to be fine,” Delaney assured me, pinning a strand of hair that kept falling in front of my face with a bobby pin. “You and Raven are going to have a wonderful honeymoon. Time alone, which you both need.” She squeezed me in a hug and I smiled.
“I know. It’s just hard not to think about the twins. They’re still so little.” I adjusted the bobby pin one more time. Jordan had twisted my hair into a fishbone braid on top and swept it to the side, giving it a slightly messy, but sexy look. After graduation, she decided to get her cosmetology license and open her own salon in Dallas. I hired her to do our hair and makeup and she had done a spectacular job. Tiny rhinestones sparkled as I checked the back of my hair with a mirror.
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