Eww! What's on My Shoe?

by Nancy Krulik

  There was something else George could never have imagined back when he lived in Cherrydale. And that was something that bing-bonged and pingponged. Something that was brewing—right now—in the bottom of his belly.

  Oh no! Not the super burp. Not at 30,000 feet in the air!

  Oh yes! The magical super burp had followed George way up into the sky. And now it was ready for some in-flight entertainment. An ABC gum ball might be happy being strapped down in a seat—but a super burp was not. No way was it being kept down.

  The burp was ready for takeoff. It bounced out of his belly, lunged at his liver, crashed into his colon, edged up his esophagus, and…

  George let out a super burp so loud, you could probably hear it 30,000 feet away—back down on the ground.

  “Uh-oh…” Alex gulped.

  “George!” Alex’s mom scolded. “What do you say?”

  George opened his mouth to say, “Excuse me.” But that’s not what came out. Instead, George shouted, “Coffee? Tea? How about ME?!”

  George’s hands unhooked his seat belt. His legs bolted out into the aisle and ran to where a flight attendant was wheeling out a snack cart.

  “Look out! Here comes a goofy foot!” George leaped on top of the snack cart and started skateboarding down the aisle.

  “Young man! I’ll have to ask you to go back to your seat!” the flight attendant shouted.

  George wanted to go back to his seat. He really did. But the burp was tired of sitting. It wanted to have fun! And fun meant skateboarding down the aisle on the snack cart. He moved his right foot back and his left foot forward. “Switch stance.”

  “Who does this boy belong to?” the flight attendant demanded.

  Alex’s mom was in such shock, she couldn’t even open her mouth.

  “Cookies? Pretzels?” George asked the passengers. He started throwing teeny packets of snacks at the people in the seats. He reached down and grabbed a can of soda. Then his hands started shaking it up and down.

  “Oh no you don’t!” the flight attendant shouted. She snatched the can from George’s hands. She tried to pull him down off the cart.

  But the burp had made George fast and strong. Quickly, he opened an overhead bin, pulled himself up, and curled up inside.

  “Get down from there!” the flight attendant yelled.

  Whoosh! Just then, George felt something go pop in the bottom of his belly. The super burp was gone.

  But George was still curled up inside an overhead bin on an airplane flying 30,000 feet in the air. He opened his mouth to say, “I’m sorry.” And that’s exactly what came out.

  “Get down,” the flight attendant repeated.

  “Yes, ma’am,” George said quietly. He climbed out of the bin and dropped to the floor—being careful not to step on the woman sitting in the seat below.

  “Now go back to your seat,” the flight attendant told George. “And do not get up for the rest of this flight.”

  “But what if I have to go to the bathroom?” George asked her.

  “Hold it in!” the flight attendant told him.

  George frowned. He wasn’t very good at holding things in. Hadn’t he just proved that?

  “Wow!” Alex exclaimed. “I feel like I’ve arrived in ABC gum heaven!”

  George grinned. He could see why Alex might feel that way. Bubble Gum Alley was a long narrow street with gum stuck to the walls on either side. There were thousands and thousands of pieces—blue gum, red gum, purple gum, green gum, and even black gum. Some pieces were stringy; others were thick globs. Some still had pieces of the wrappers stuck to them. George had never seen so much ABC gum in his whole life—not even on Alex’s gum ball.

  “Okay, Alex, let’s get a picture of you and your record-breaking gum ball right here with the wall of gum behind you,” the Schminess photographer said.

  George stood behind the photographer, next to Alex’s parents. He watched as the photographer’s assistant placed Alex’s gum ball on a wooden platform and adjusted the lighting so Alex and the gum ball would both look good in the picture. It seemed to take a very long time.

  Finally the photographer got ready to take the picture. Alex stood proudly next to his gigantic ABC gum ball and got ready to say cheese.

  And that’s when George felt it—that rumbling feeling at the bottom of his belly. Bing-bong. Ping-pong. OH NO! The super burp was back.

  This was ba-a-ad! George couldn’t let the burp ruin Alex’s big moment. He just had to squelch this belch!

  George quickly spun into action. And boy did he spin! George twirled around and around, trying to force the burp down into his toes, like water spinning its way down a drain.

  “George!” Alex’s mother yelled. “Stop that this instant!”

  But George couldn’t stop. Bing-bong. Ping-pong! Ding-dong! The bubbles were bouncing all around, trying to force their way up and out.

  “Dude, not again!” Alex yelled. “Not here. Not now.”

  George shook his head. No. Not here. Not now. There was no way George was going to let the super burp ruin Alex’s Schminess Book of World Records photo shoot. No matter how jealous he had been of Alex, there was no way he was going to let anything ruin this day. Not even the magical super burp. George spun faster, trying to force that burp back down.

  Whirr, whirr, whirr. George was spinning so hard, he was getting dizzy. His eyes seemed to be rolling around in his head. He couldn’t even see where he was going. He spun around the alley, past Alex. Past the ABC gum ball. Past…

  Splat! George slammed right into the wall of Bubble Gum Alley.

  Whoosh! George felt all the air rush right out of him. It was as if someone had taken a pin and popped a giant balloon in the bottom of his belly.

  George raised his fist in the air! In the battle of boy versus burp, George had emerged victorious! The belch had been squelched!

  The burp might have disappeared, but George was still there—stuck to the wall of Bubble Gum Alley. He’d spun his way right into some huge, sticky globs of freshly chewed ABC gum. They were holding him there like glue. But George didn’t mind. He couldn’t get into any trouble if he was stuck to a wall. For once, that stupid super burp had done him a favor.

  “Hey, that’s pretty funny,” the photographer said. “Kid, stay right there in the background by the wall. Don’t move.”

  “No problem,” George said. Which it wasn’t. Because George couldn’t move. He was stuck.

  “Okay, Alex. Smile and say, ‘Gum ball’!” the photographer said.

  Alex grinned. “GUM BALL!” he shouted.

  “So the whole alley is covered in ABC gum?” Chris asked as he and some of the other fourth-graders gathered on the playground on Monday morning. They were all looking at the photos Alex and George had brought back from California.

  “Just the walls,” George told him. “If there was gum on the ground, it would get stuck to your shoes.”

  “They’ve got ABC gum from all over the world stuck to the walls of Bubble Gum Alley,” Alex said. “People who are really into gum travel to San Luis Obispo, just to make sure their country is represented.”

  “Do you have a copy of the actual photo that they’re going to use in the Schminess Book of World Records?” Julianna asked Alex.

  Alex nodded and pulled out a photo. It showed him smiling broadly and standing next to the giant ABC gum ball. George was in the background, stuck to the wall. His face was a little out of focus, and he looked tiny compared to Alex, but you could definitely tell it was George.

  Millions of kids all over the world were going to see that picture. They would know George was there when the Schminess Book of World Records photographed the junior world-record holder for the largest ABC gum ball. And he had been there because he was Alex’s best friend. So George was kind of going down in history, too—for being a good friend.

  He hadn’t even needed to wear a big sweaty jacket or dark sunglasses to do it. He just needed to be himself.

  “Perf
ect,” Julianna said. “I’ll show the picture on morning announcements.”

  Just then, Louie walked onto the playground, trailed by Mike and Max. George looked over to see what Louie was wearing. After all, it was picture day, and Louie had made such a big deal about dressing for the history books.

  George was really surprised by Louie’s outfit. Mostly because Louie looked exactly like…well…Louie. He was wearing his usual T-shirt, jeans, and sneakers. He hadn’t even gotten a haircut.

  “What happened to dressing to show everyone how rich and ready for fame you were in fourth grade?” George asked him.

  “My mom didn’t have time to take me shopping,” Louie said with a frown. “She said I could borrow some stuff from my older brother, Sam, if I wanted to wear something different. But I didn’t want to go down in history wearing someone else’s clothes.”

  Louie might not have dressed for picture day, but George had. He was wearing his skateboarding clothes—a belt with the skateboard buckle, loose-fitting black jeans, and a T-shirt with a skateboarder on it that said KING OF THE SIDEWALK. He’d even spiked his hair with gel—to make himself look extra cool. He was George Brown, Skater Dude!

  “Okay. George, Alex, Louie, and Mike, go up on the top stair of the stage,” Mrs. Kelly said later that morning as the class lined up for picture day. “You will stand up in the back row while the others sit on chairs in the front row.”

  As Mrs. Kelly arranged the other kids in the class, Alex stood next to George, reading his new Gross Stuff Gazette. George shook his head in amazement. Alex sure was taking this class scienceguy thing seriously. Whoever heard of someone reading in the middle of getting ready for his class picture?

  “Dude, you gotta take off your belt,” Alex whispered to George.

  “I have to what?” George asked him.

  “Take off your belt,” Alex said. He pointed to the article he had been reading in the Gross Stuff Gazette. “It’s right here in the magazine. Belts squeeze the air out of your stomach and make the burps come out.”

  “But I can’t take off my belt,” George said. “If I do…”

  Alex didn’t wait for George to finish his sentence. He reached over and unhooked George’s belt for him.

  “You gotta do it,” Alex insisted. “This is the cure. I’m sure of it.” He yanked the belt from George’s pants.

  “Say cheese!” the photographer said.

  Whoops. At just that minute, George’s loose-fitting jeans fell down around his knees.

  Louie nearly exploded with laughter. “Check out George’s tighty whities!”

  Mrs. Kelly turned around. “George!” she exclaimed. “Pull your pants up. What were you thinking?”

  “I’m sorry,” George gasped, pulling his pants back up. “They’re just a little bit big.”

  “That’s why you need to wear a belt,” Mrs. Kelly reminded him.

  George could feel his face turning red as he and put his belt back on. The kids were all laughing now. George looked over at Alex.

  “I’m sorry, dude,” Alex said.

  George could tell he meant it. Besides, George wasn’t mad at Alex. He had only been trying to help. But even a smart kid like Alex was no match for the magical super burp. That burp wasn’t going away anytime soon. It was going to keep coming back again and again to make George do goofy stuff.

  As he stood there buckling his belt, George had a horrible thought: Years from now, when the other kids looked at their fourth-grade class picture, they would all be thinking of him as George Brown, Class Clown—exactly the guy he was trying so hard not to be.

  Grrr. Stupid super burp. Even when it wasn’t around, it still managed to ruin everything.

  About the Author

  Nancy Krulik is the author of more than 150 books for children and young adults including three New York Times Best Sellers and the popular Katie Kazoo, Switcheroo books. She lives in New York City with her family, and many of George Brown’s escapades are based on things her own kids have done. (No one delivers a good burp quite like Nancy’s son, Ian!) Nancy’s favorite thing to do is laugh, which comes in pretty handy when you’re trying to write funny books!

  About the Illustrator

  Aaron Blecha was raised by a school of giant squid in Wisconsin and now lives with his family by the south English seaside. He works as an artist designing funny characters, animating cartoons, and illustrating books—including the one you’re holding and the Harry Hammer shark series. You can enjoy more of his weird creations at www.monstersquid.com.