Becoming Alpha

by Aileen Erin

  “Come on. I’ll walk you to the dorm.” He pulled me to my feet. “We’re not going to have a repeat of the other night.”

  A shiver ran down my spine. Being inside was suddenly very appealing.

  When we got to the entrance to the dorm, he spun me in his arms. His lips weren’t soft this time. They demanded more. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around him, pulling him closer to me. His tongue brushed against mine, and I lost it. I gripped the back of his shirt in my hands, pulling my body flush with his.

  By the time he inched back, we were both out of breath. His forehead rested against mine. “I’ll pick you up in the morning for our trip off campus. Go inside. Be safe.” I kept my eyes closed for a second as I leaned back against the door. His heat was gone, leaving me chilled. “Holy shit,” I said to myself. He was beyond intense.

  When I opened my eyes, he was already in wolf-form running across campus. A group of wolves waited for him next to one of the buildings. I watched until he disappeared from view, and then slid shakily to the ground.

  It took me a few minutes to trust that my legs would work.

  Meredith’s room was empty while I got ready for bed. I guessed they were still out, but I wasn’t upset about it anymore. Nothing they were doing could compare to what I’d experienced that day.

  I went to bed smiling for the first time since I got to St. Ailbe’s.

  ***

  The next morning, I was already dressed and ready to go on my date-ish thing with Dastien when Meredith stumbled sleepily into my room.

  I clicked off my music. “Sorry. Didn’t meant to wake you?”

  She waved me off and mumbled something incoherently.

  I wore a flowy, short purple skirt and a grey tank top with flying little black birds printed across the front. “What do you think?” I said as I ran my hands down the skirt.

  “About?”

  “My outfit?”

  “Are you going somewhere?”

  I lifted my chin up. “Yes.”

  “Really?” She yawned and curled up on my unmade bed. “Mr. Dawson lifted the jail-time?”

  “Kind of. Dastien is taking me to the bookstore. Mr. Dawson said Dastien would be held responsible for me.”

  Meredith laughed. “Wow. So. You and Dastien.”

  “Kind of.” I couldn’t stop the blush from spreading. “I guess. We’re taking it slow. Very slow.”

  She jumped and swung me into a hug. “This is so exciting. Were we right? About the mate thing?”

  “It’s weird that you can just pick me up like that.” I tapped her shoulder and she put me down. “And ix-nay on the ate-may. That word is now verboten. Freaks me out.”

  “Ha! Every girl here would kill for the connection that you guys have. Including me. So mate. Mate. MATE.”

  I stuck my fingers in my ears and sang loudly as she talked.

  She waved her hand in my face. “Okay. I’m over it.” She looked me up and down. “And yes. Cute and casual.”

  A knock came from my door. “Come in,” I said.

  Dastien opened the door and leaned against the doorjamb. “You ready?”

  My mouth went dry as I took him in. Well-worn jeans hung low on his hips. His white T-shirt had a bright colored map on it that looked almost like the London Underground but wasn’t. I wanted to get a closer look but he distracted me with his smile.

  Shit. He could lean against things so well. I cleared my throat. “What’s on your shirt?”

  He started to blush a little. “It’s a bus map. For Westeros.”

  “You read George RR Martin?”

  He grinned.

  Why did we have so much in common? It was weird. “Let’s go,” I said as I tugged on a pair of gloves.

  “You two crazy kids have fun,” Meredith called after us.

  “Goodbye, Meredith,” Dastien said as he closed the door.

  “God he’s hot,” Meredith said from behind the door.

  I grabbed Dastien’s hand, linking our fingers together. “We heard that!” I said.

  He winked at me and my heart stuttered.

  Before we got to the parking lot, Mr. Dawson stopped us. Faint shadows under his eyes showed his exhaustion. “You’re needed.”

  Imogene stood next to Mr. Dawson looking pretty satisfied with herself. All the hairs on the back of my arms stood at attention.

  “Can any of the others handle it?” Dastien asked.

  Mr. Dawson’s lips thinned. “Afraid not.”

  Dastien squeezed my hand before letting go. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

  He didn’t spare me a second glance as the three of them took off. Every time I thought I was getting a handle on us, he disappeared. I swear I saw his back receding in the distance more than I saw his face. All the little doubts in my head telling me he was too good to be true reared their ugly heads.

  It didn’t help that he was leaning down close to Imogene as she talked to him quietly. Or that she looked back at me and grinned like she’d won this one.

  I wanted to stomp my foot, to scream and kick something, just anything, but I didn’t. Sinking to her level would be a mistake. If Dastien was really my m-word, then I’d have to trust him at some point, but the fact was that I didn’t. Not fully. Not yet.

  When I got back to my room, I plopped down on my bed. Something was going on. And where were Sebastian and Donovan? I hadn’t seen them since yesterday afternoon. I had a funny feeling about it, but didn’t know what to do.

  I yanked on the ends of my gloves as I thought. I couldn’t take them off and try to get visions. Could I?

  “Back so soon?” Meredith said from the doorway.

  “Something’s up. Mr. Dawson said that he needed Dastien. So he left…with Imogene.”

  “Yikes.” She sat next to me. “Well, I’m sure it’s nothing big. I mean when your Alpha says shift, you say woof-woof. I’m sure he’ll make it up to you.”

  “I know it’s completely stupid, but I’m just having problems figuring out what to do.” I sighed. “I guess I don’t trust him. He bit me and ran. He ignored me. And when he finally gives me the time of day I swoon?” I punched my pillow. “Am I really that pathetic?”

  She squeezed my leg. “You’re not pathetic. Imogene is trying to mess with your head. You can’t let that evil bitch win.”

  We sat there in silence for a minute while I stewed. The dorms were eerily quiet, but it was still early. And the weekend. And with Imogene gone…

  “I have a crazy idea,” I said. “But we could totally get caught and it might be a really, really, seriously bad idea.”

  Meredith rubbed her hands together. “This sounds like it starts with ‘t’ and ends with ‘rouble’ and that is just my speed.”

  “Let’s search Imogene’s room.”

  Meredith laughed for a second before she realized I wasn’t kidding. “You’re for serious?”

  “Come on. Everyone is asleep. Imogene is gone with Dastien. They’re going to be at least a little while. I just want to look.”

  “That is a terrible idea. She’ll totally know you were in there.” She tapped her nose. “No way can you fool this.”

  She had a point. “Thing is, I really don’t care if she knows I was in there. I just want to know what’s going on. The girl tried to get me killed. And she’s trying to take my ate-may.”

  “You know that ‘ate-may’ is just another way of saying ‘ma—”

  I slapped my hand over her mouth. “Don’t say it.”

  She pulled my hand away. “Fine. But it’s the same thing.”

  “Whatever. You going to watch my back or what?”

  “Not doing anything else right now.” She shrugged. “Why not?”

  I threw my gloves on the bed. “Let’s do this.”

  Imogene’s room was on the third floor. The door wasn’t locked. “You wolves sure are trusting,” I whispered to Meredith.

  “We don’t usually mess with each other’s stuff. Your scent is like fingerpri
nts, only way more obvious. It keeps you honest.”

  Imogene’s room was messy. With how perfect she dressed—not even a hair out of place—I thought her room would be tidy. The sty was a surprise. Piles of dirty clothes covered the walking space.

  “Dude,” Meredith whisper-shouted. She held up a pair of jeans. “This pair costs like hundred dollars and she’s just thrown them on the ground like they’re trash. What the hell?”

  I shrugged. Now that I was here, I didn’t really want to touch anything. It was just so dirty. I stood in one place as I scanned the room, trying to decide where to begin.

  “Here.” Meredith handed me a journal. “Try this.”

  As soon as my fingers brushed the worn brown leather, I saw absolutely nothing. I closed my eyes, trying to concentrate. I shook my head. “It’s not working.”

  I tried her pillow. Then ran my fingers along her laptop’s keyboard. Nerves made it hard to breathe.

  Why wasn’t I seeing anything?

  “Try this one.”

  Meredith handed me a necklace. Its thin gold chain held a single tiny heart charm. It was simple and elegant—something I’d pick out for myself. That annoyed me.

  I reached out and closed my hand around the necklace.

  The vision knocked me on my ass.

  Imogene was kissing Dastien.

  I can’t believe this is finally happening, she thought.

  His tongue brushed hers and I could feel how happy kissing him made her.

  I opened my hand and dropped the necklace on the pile of clothes at my feet. “This was a terrible idea.” A hot tear ran down my cheek. “I think I’m going to be sick.”

  “Come on. Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

  I hugged my arms around my stomach. It was in the past. He hadn’t been cheating. But it sure felt like cheating.

  That was something I never needed to see. The curse of visions strikes again.

  Meredith moved to hug me, but I dodged it. “Sorry. Don’t think I can handle any more visions at the moment.”

  We went back to my room. She sat at my desk. “What was it?”

  I shook my head. “Something icky.” But there was no unseeing it. “Dastien and her together.”

  “Shiiiiiit.”

  I grinned in spite of my mood. “You’re telling me.”

  “Well, they broke up a while ago. Clearly she’s not over it, but Dastien is. For sure. I know this stuff is not normal for you, but Weres don’t cheat. It’s not possible. So yeah, sucks that you saw it. But everyone has a past right?”

  “Not me.”

  “Right. Visions.” She balled up a piece of paper and threw it at me. “Enough with the pity party. Let’s figure out our plan for today.”

  A plan? “You’re not going anywhere?”

  “Nah. About the mall…sorry for going without you, but, in my defense, Shannon had been pestering me. And then with everything with you and Dastien, she’s been in a mood. I couldn’t put it off.”

  She didn’t have to apologize, but it was nice that she did anyway. “It’s okay.”

  “No. It’s not. Chris and Adrian found us at the mall after they saw how upset you were and gave us quite a lecture, and they were right. I should’ve left a note at least. When we came back, we saw you and Dastien were hanging. Shannon might be cranky but she’ll get over it. She takes time to warm up to people.”

  We wandered down to the cafeteria. When we got there, the gang announced that they wanted to have a movie marathon. All werewolves. All day. Chris said I needed to learn more about being one of them. And this was the most fun way, even if the movies were horribly inaccurate. Then the debate really began—start with An American Werewolf in London or Ginger Snaps?

  I found their love of werewolf movies fascinating. Nothing was better than seeing their species depicted as monsters. Until recently I’d seen them as the bad guys too. There weren’t that many movies where werewolves were the heroes. They were always a step away from zombies with their hunger for human flesh. A totally unfair assessment.

  Halfway through Ginger Snaps there was a knock on Meredith’s door. Mrs. Ramirez peeked in. “Did you order pizzas?”

  Meredith popped up from her perch. “Yes. That’s us.” The door opened farther, showing three guys carrying pizzas stacked higher than their head.

  “Holy shit,” I said. “Meredith. There are only five of us.”

  Chris leaned over. “Five werewolves. And two of them are boys.”

  The pizza guys handed over the pizzas to Adrian and Shannon while Meredith signed the bill. When Meredith handed back the bill, the pale-faced pizza guys flinched. Why did they let human delivery guys on campus if they were so afraid of us?

  “Thank you. You can go now,” Meredith said to them.

  “I’ll be down the hall. Boys, you need to be in your own dorm before nightfall,” Mrs. Ramirez said. “We’re still on lockdown.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Adrian said. “We understand.”

  We ended up watching both Ginger Snaps and An American Werewolf in London before switching to Buffy episodes. Apparently season two was when it got good, because that’s when Oz—the werewolf—joined the cast. It was quite possibly the most normal day I’d ever had. I never thought I’d be able to have friends, and spend the day relaxing with them.

  But when I went to sleep that night, Dastien was the only thing I could think of. He hadn’t stopped by. No calls or texts. Hell, I wasn’t sure if he even had my cell number, but it still annoyed me.

  The next morning I was getting worried about not hearing from him. There hadn’t been any sirens, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t fighting vampires somewhere else. What if he was hurt?

  I tried to push away my worry as the gang and I finished breakfast and then headed over to the school building. Starting my second week, the knots in my stomach had untangled somewhat, but it was still an adjustment.

  Chris had been helping me with metaphysics during breakfast. We’d just left the cafeteria when I realized I’d forgotten my notebooks.

  “I’ll catch up with you,” I said to Chris as I ran back through the doors.

  I slid between tables and the mass of people heading out. Frustration filled me as I realized I’d be late for class. In my old schools, this wouldn’t have been a big deal. But Mrs. Ramirez didn’t look kindly on tardiness. She’d majorly reamed out Shannon when she was five minutes late on Thursday.

  I snatched up my notebook. And then stopped.

  Dastien was at a table in the corner talking to Imogene.

  Why hadn’t he come over to my table? He hadn’t even said hello.

  I stood there, frozen in time as they got up together. His arms wrapped around her in a hug. His smile was bright when he pulled away.

  I let out a breath. A hug was just a hug. He’d said they were old friends. I couldn’t let myself be the jealous girlfriend.

  And then she kissed him. On. The. Lips.

  Rage boiled my blood. I spun around, not wanting to see what happened next. I had to get out of there before I lost control and ripped her face off. Shit. Who was I kidding? I was totally losing control.

  I wouldn’t let him see me like this. I wouldn’t let her see me.

  Tears blurred my vision as I raced across the courtyard to class. I stopped just outside the room and took a deep breath. Everyone was already seated. I looked down, letting my hair hang in front of my face, and entered the room.

  Meredith waved me over. “You okay?”

  “No.” But that was all I could get out before Mrs. Ramirez walked through the door.

  She started lecturing, but I couldn’t pay attention. Meredith tried to pass me a note, but I shook my head. I could feel the wolf pacing inside me, aching to get out. To squash whatever hurt me. But there was no way I would let that happen. Not in the middle of class. I just needed to concentrate.

  Hair sprouted along my arms as I tried to focus on taking notes. I inhaled slowly and exhaled but it didn’t help. My
knuckles cracked and popped, forcing me to drop my pencil.

  “Tessa?” Meredith whispered.

  I caught Mrs. Ramirez’s gaze. “May I go to the restroom?”

  She watched me for a second before nodding.

  The chair screeched as I pushed back from my desk. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  In the hall I found my favorite person, Imogene, looking through my locker. Half its contents littered the hallway.

  I lunged over to her. “What the hell is your problem?”

  “You go through my stuff. I go through yours.” Imogene flicked one of my textbooks down the hall.

  Okay. She had a point, but the girl was making a mess. “Can I help you find something?”

  “Sure, bruja.” The metal clanged as she slammed it closed. “Where’s the gris-gris?”

  “The what?” I didn’t need this. Not from her. Not when my wolf was so close to the surface.

  “You know—the voodoo charm. The spell. Whatever the fuck it is that you did to him.” Imogene took a step toward me and crossed her arms. “I want it. Like yesterday.”

  Was she serious? “I don’t have whatever it is that you’re talking about. I didn’t do anything to anyone.” I managed to get out the words through teeth that suddenly felt too sharp.

  “There is no way he’d lose control like that without you doing something to make him lose it.” She moved closer. “No way he’d leave me. Especially not for some half-human half-witch loser.”

  “It seemed to me that you two are still pretty damned cozy. So fine. You win. I’m not about to fight for some cheating asshole. He’s all yours. But you need to stay away from me.”

  She took another step. I didn’t move back. I let her come.

  “If only it were that easy.”

  A frustrated laugh broke free. “You’re crazier than I thought.”

  She shoved my shoulder until my back knocked into the lockers. “Give it to me.”

  I didn’t like her touching me. And I sure as shit didn’t like the way she had me cornered. “I don’t have anything to give you. So get your hand. Off. Me.”

  She snarled and pushed me again.

  My tenuous control shattered. Heat burned my skin and my teeth lengthened, nipping my lip. “Get your hand off me.”