Cherished Mercy

by Tracie Peterson

  “We don’t have to stay all night,” he assured her. “I know they’ll be dancing until morning. People who live with the constant threat of death are all the more determined to live life to its fullest.”

  She nodded and looked across the room to where Faith sat reading. “I’d best get to work fixing something to take. I know everyone is supposed to bring some food.”

  “I’ve been talking to the army officials—trying to figure out how to get us out of here. Unfortunately, no one is heading to Port Orford. The captain feels it’s far too dangerous. The tribes are warring up and down the coast and river. It’s like a wildfire spreading. He tried to get one of the schooners in here, but between the weather and their fear of the Indian uprising, none of the captains are inclined to try it.”

  “I wish we could just be in Oregon City.”

  “Why there?”

  Mercy smiled. “Because my family is there, and I know they’d take us all in.”

  A knock sounded on the cabin door, startling both Adam and Mercy. Mercy quickly glanced at Faith, who had paused in her reading to look up.

  “I’ll get it.” Adam crossed to the door and opened it. “Yes?”

  A man stood just outside. Mercy couldn’t see him, but when he spoke, she hurried to Adam’s side.

  “Nigel Grierson, as I live and breathe.” She looked at the tall, blond-haired man who stood with his hat in his hand.

  “I heard you were here, Miss Mercy. I thought I’d stop by to pay my respects.”

  Adam looked at her oddly, and for a moment Mercy thought she saw a jealous possessiveness in his expression.

  She reached out to take hold of Nigel’s arm. “Well, come in. Mr. Grierson, this is Adam Browning, and across the room is his niece, Faith. Faith’s mother . . . passed away just a few days ago. You remember Eletta and Isaac Browning, don’t you?”

  “Yes, and I heard about their deaths.” Nigel stepped inside the house but remained near the door. “I’m sure sorry, Miss Mercy.”

  “Thank you.” She smiled and decided to put Adam out of his obvious discomfort. “Adam is Mr. Browning’s brother. Isaac was killed a few weeks ago.” The days had blurred one into the other, and Mercy wasn’t even sure how long ago it had been. She looked at Adam. “Mr. Grierson was once engaged to my sister Grace. He was on the wagon train that came west with us to Oregon.” She didn’t miss the relief that passed over his expression. “I was just a young girl, but I remember Mr. Grierson’s kindness to us.” She turned back to Nigel. “What brings you here?”

  “I’m fighting with the militia.”

  Mercy didn’t try to hide her frown. “Why would you want to do that?”

  “It pays better than the gold fields. I’m afraid that selling my farm wasn’t the best decision. Gold fever’s a terrible thing to catch, and there’s not much that satisfies it.”

  She nodded. “I can’t imagine you wanting to kill women and children. You never seemed like that kind of a man.”

  “It’s kill or be killed. The Indians have declared all-out war, and we mean to put an end to it. I’m surprised you would defend them after what you went through.”

  “Maybe it’s because of what happened at the Whitman Mission that I have a better understanding. I know what it is to be the helpless victim.” Her frown deepened. “I just came from a mission where Billy Caxton and his confederates cut down the elderly and children who had no intention or means of harming anyone. It was murder, Mr. Grierson. Plain and simple.”

  “I don’t know about that. I haven’t been at this all that long. My brothers and I weren’t having any luck mining for gold so we had to make some kind of a living. I hear the attack at Whitman’s often mentioned as a reason to fight here, however.”

  “It’s wrong. Not all Indians are to be blamed for the acts of a few. And as I recall, those deemed guilty for the massacre were hanged. The Rogue River Indians had nothing to do with that attack, yet they’re being killed.” She shook her head. “Nigel, you’d be better off going back to raising dairy cows. I find it appalling that a godly man such as yourself would do something so heinous.”

  Nigel had grown visibly uncomfortable. “I . . . well . . . I just wanted to pay my respects. Will you be at the party?”

  “We’re planning on it.”

  “Perhaps we might talk about better times, and you can tell me how your sisters are doing.” He moved to the door and gave Adam a nod. “Nice meeting you, Mr. Browning.”

  Once he’d gone, Mercy went to the small area of the cabin that served as a kitchen. “I have some preserved apples and oats. I’ll make a crumble if you can find me some butter and a little flour.” She looked at Adam and smiled. “If you don’t mind.”

  He was staring at her with something that seemed almost like awe, and Mercy felt herself flushing. She supposed she had been rather forceful with Nigel.

  But then Adam’s expression shifted, and he looked strangely uncomfortable, unable to meet her eyes. With a curt nod, he turned and left the house.

  Mercy sighed. If his emotions were even a tenth as confused as hers, then she knew he would go on suffering until he sorted out what to do about his feelings.

  Adam didn’t feel like being at the party any more than Mercy did, but when he saw Faith playing happily with two other little girls, he knew they’d done the right thing. At least where she was concerned. Mercy, on the other hand, was receiving far more male attention than Adam cared to see. That Grierson fellow made a pest of himself by cornering Mercy to talk. He’d seen some of the other men attempt the same, and it irritated him to no end.

  Mercy didn’t seem to mind, and in truth she could handle herself. But there was also the truth that Adam was in love with her and didn’t want to see her with other men.

  He reminded himself that the behavior of the other men was appropriate, given the social setting, but it didn’t stop him from wanting to push through the crowd and claim Mercy for his own. She consumed his thoughts day and night, and their kiss had nearly been his undoing. Still, the past kept him from feeling free to do anything about it. He remembered the condemnation of people he’d thought were his friends once the news of his Cherokee blood became a well-known fact. It was strange that a man could be perfectly accepted, even lauded, but then thought to be completely unworthy once news of his family heritage became known.

  There was no reason to expect anything different with Mercy. She had shown a great deal of compassion for the Tututni, perhaps even love, but that wasn’t the same as marrying a man considered subhuman because of his Indian blood. Even if she could look past that, Adam wasn’t sure her family would. More than once he had almost told her everything, but the thought of having to endure her scorn until they reached Oregon City kept him from speaking.

  He spied her being cornered by Billy Caxton and felt his blood begin to heat. Caxton was a fool to think she’d have anything to do with him now. Nevertheless, Adam felt it only right to support Mercy. As he joined them, Mercy rolled her eyes at him while Billy continued ranting about something. It was clear she wasn’t happy to be talking to the militiaman.

  “But you’ve got to understand,” Billy insisted. “They killed my best friend. Several good friends, in fact. I wouldn’t have gone off like I did, and I never would have threatened you if I hadn’t been half out of my mind.”

  “Well, I’m certain you’re right in saying you were half out of your mind.” Mercy looked at Adam. “Mr. Caxton was just apologizing for attacking our mission and killing so many helpless women and children.”

  “I’m sure that’s a comfort to them, Caxton.” Adam’s sarcastic tone hung in the air between them.

  Billy narrowed his eyes. “I’m just doing my job. If the Indians attack here, you’ll be glad enough for our presence.”

  “I doubt that. If not for you and your men, I don’t think the Indians around here would be attacking at all. Frankly, you’ve pushed them so far that they have to retaliate.” Adam narrowed his eyes as well. “And wa
sn’t that the plan?”

  Someone struck up a fiddle tune, and although Adam had no intention of dancing when they first arrived, now he saw it as a means to get Mercy away from Billy.

  He held a hand out to her. “I believe this is our dance.”

  She only hesitated a moment before placing her hand in his. “Why yes, I believe it is.”

  “I thought you said you didn’t mean to dance,” Billy said, staring daggers at Adam.

  Mercy glanced back over her shoulder as Adam led her to the dance floor. “No, Mr. Caxton, I only said that I didn’t mean to dance with you.”

  Adam gave a soft chuckle as he swung her into the collection of other couples for the Virginia reel. “I suppose I shouldn’t laugh.” They separated and came together in curtsy and bow before linking elbows. “But I can’t help myself.”

  “He’s a menace. Thank you for rescuing me.”

  They maneuvered down the line, weaving in and out, performing a do-si-do with other partners, until finally they were back together again.

  “It was my pleasure.” Adam joined her outstretched hands with his, and they did a sidestepping skip all the way down the line. “I like your company.”

  “Ah, but do you like it enough?” Mercy asked and then once again was spirited away as they peeled off in either direction and headed for the end of the line.

  Adam wondered what she was getting at, but when they came back together, making a tunnel for the other couples to pass under, they had no chance to speak. By the time all the couples had passed, they were once again in motion, and Adam gave up.

  When the dance ended, Mercy was immediately set upon to share dances with some of the other men, leaving Adam the odd man out. With women so scarce, Mercy took pity on them, much to Adam’s surprise.

  He stood back against the wall and watched her for a long while. Her dark brown hair was braided and pinned to the back of her head in a simple fashion. Her dress was nothing more than a dark-colored wool. It certainly was nothing like the majestic gowns Lizzy had worn in Boston, yet as far as he was concerned, Mercy was far more beautiful.

  But it wasn’t just her appearance that attracted him. Her heart was so genuinely full of love and kindness. He’d seen her working patiently with the Tututni children when she didn’t realize he was there. She gave them gentle pats on the back and hugs of affection when they performed well. And she even held the children when they were upset. She gave the same treatment to the adults. Red Deer had told him that sometimes she even forgot Mercy was white. Her comment had made him smile, but it had also endeared her to him.

  It was nearly ten o’clock when Mercy finally slipped away from the others. “I’m done in, and if you look over there, you’ll see that Faith has fallen asleep. I think it’s time we go home.”

  “I agree.” Adam crossed the room to retrieve his niece. He lifted her to his shoulder. “Why don’t you collect our coats?”

  Mercy went to do just that. As she skirted the edge of the room, she was inundated with offers to dance or just sit and talk. Adam knew just how lonely it could be for some of these men. He’d experienced it for himself and had to admit that Mercy had done much to alleviate his loneliness.

  After a few minutes, Mercy returned with their coats. “I’ll just put mine around her,” Mercy said, covering Faith. “We won’t freeze on the short walk home, but the cold might wake her up.”

  “Good thinking.”

  Adam moved toward the door, only to be stopped by Billy Caxton. “You aren’t leaving already, are you?” Billy asked, looking at Mercy. “This party will go on until dawn.”

  “Yes, but we won’t be going on with it.” Adam shifted Faith to cradle her in his arms, causing the coat to slip. He was surprised when Billy helped by pulling it back in place.

  “I’m sure sorry you’re leaving. I wanted to make things right with both of you. I know I acted terrible back at the mission. I can’t excuse myself, except to say I saw the blood haze.”

  “It seems you’re often given to seeing it,” Mercy countered.

  Billy looked pained. “I don’t mean to, but you have to understand. I lost good friends just the day before. We had nearly forty-five men, but now we’re down to thirty. I guess I just wanted justice for them.”

  “No, Mr. Caxton, you wanted revenge—even at the price of threatening innocent lives.”

  “Those squaws weren’t innocent. Some of them killed just like their men.”

  Mercy put herself between Billy and Faith. “My friends at the mission didn’t kill anyone. They had been with me since I first came here. They never went on raids. You killed innocent people. Murdered men and women too old to defend themselves, as well as little children who weren’t even old enough to have enemies.”

  Billy started to reply, but Mercy pushed past him. “No more, Mr. Caxton. No more of your excuses and pretense at caring about my feelings.”

  She stormed out of the building, leaving Adam to stare after her in admiration. She was quite the woman. He glanced at Billy, who instead of looking contrite was fuming.

  “I would suggest steering clear of us, Mr. Caxton. We are sworn to practice Christian charity and God’s love, but where you are concerned, I’m not sure we wouldn’t all revert to our baser natures.”

  It was nearly dawn when Mercy woke up. She smiled at the way Faith had curled against her. The child was so precious to her that Mercy even found herself imagining what it might have been like had Hope kept Faith. Would she have taught Faith to love sheep and spinning, instead of teaching her to read at the age of two? Hope had never had much interest in books.

  Yawning, Mercy stretched and slid out from under Eletta’s quilts. She was so glad they had decided to bring them among their meager belongings. She wanted Faith to always have these reminders of her mother. Mercy had nothing of her mother’s. What little she had brought west with her had been stolen by the Cayuse. She missed the pieces of lace her mother had designed and the bookmark she had crocheted and embroidered with Mercy’s name.

  Adam was already gone, as he was most mornings. Often he went fishing to bring them something for breakfast or gathered wood for the stove. It seemed they couldn’t have too much of either thing. Adam took care of her as he might if they’d been husband and wife. She glanced around the small shack and realized anew how inappropriate it was for them to live under one roof. She knew back east a woman would be tainted for doing so, but here, given the circumstances, Mercy felt it wasn’t out of line. If she and Faith were alone, less honorable men would no doubt try to take liberties, and she would rather risk her reputation than Faith’s safety. Besides, she was already determined that Adam would be her husband one day. She just had to figure out a way to make him propose.

  Is that a terrible idea? Is it wrong for me to want to take the initiative?

  She had been raised to believe it was for the man to lead in a relationship, but Mercy felt she had every bit as much at stake. Maybe she would just put the idea on the table. She knew Adam cared deeply for her. She could even go so far as to say that he desired her. His kisses had told her that much.

  Mercy considered all of this as she filled the basin to wash her face. She had just dipped her hands in the water when Adam burst through the door. His face was ashen.

  “Collect our things. We’ve got to get across the river to Fort Miner.”

  “What’s wrong? It’s not even full light.”

  “The Indians have attacked and burned out everything along the river and coast. They haven’t yet reached Gold Beach, but they’re headed this way with the intent of killing everyone. Reports are there are over three hundred warriors.”

  Mercy felt as if her stomach had dropped to her feet. She moved quickly to throw supplies into her medicinal bag. “You take care of gathering your things, and I’ll get Faith’s. I don’t suppose we can take the food, can we?”

  “I think we’d best take anything we can carry. Who knows how long we’ll have to wait out the attack.”

/>   A woman screamed somewhere outside, and Faith stirred and sat up. “Are the bad men coming?”

  Mercy went to her. “The Indians are very angry, and they’re attacking all around us.”

  “Not my friends?” Faith said in a questioning tone.

  “I don’t know.” Mercy helped her up. “We have to get across the river right away and take shelter at the fort.” She didn’t know how much shelter the fort would provide, however. It was only half done, but she supposed something was better than nothing.

  “Come on, we have to get to the river,” Adam declared.

  Mercy helped Faith roll up the quilts and tie them with string so she and Adam could wear them on their backs. Faith put on her boots, while Mercy went to collect the book Faith had been reading as well as Eletta’s journal. She stuffed both in her bag, then spotted Hope’s revolver. Without hesitation, she slipped it into her coat pocket, then went to get her boots.

  Adam gathered his things into his pack, then slung it over his shoulders. He picked up the crate of food. “Let’s go.”

  Mercy helped Faith into her coat and then grabbed her own. She hadn’t even had time to tie her boots, much less comb her hair and braid it. No doubt she looked like a wild woman. Thankfully, she still had her scarf. When they were finally at the river, she would tie it over her tangled hair.

  The Rogue River was far too wide and deep at its mouth to wade through, even if it hadn’t been too cold. Thankfully, there was a ferry, as well as other boats, to get people across the river. Even so, as the panicked citizens of Gold Beach milled along the riverbank, Mercy could see they would have to wait their turn. Women and children were given first priority, however, and it wasn’t long before she and Faith were squeezed into one of the boats with ten other people. She worried about leaving Adam on the south bank. No one knew how much time they had. Perhaps even now the Indians were waiting in the forest near the fort. She prayed fervently that despite all the killing, they might still have peace.