The Shadows Trilogy Box Set: A Christian Romance

by Juliette Duncan

  “I’m concerned for her, Roger. She doesn’t look well.” Gwyneth said to Roger once Lizzy had left the table.

  “It’s hanging around with that lout that’s doing it.” His eyes narrowed and he breathed heavily. “I’ve a good mind to find him and give him a piece of my mind.”

  “You can’t do that, Roger. As much as we don’t like him, Elizabeth obviously does. Perhaps in time she’ll come to her senses. We can only hope.” She reached out and touched his arm. “Don’t be too hard on her, Roger. We don’t want to lose her.”

  Roger Walton-Smythe looked into his wife’s eyes. Maybe she was right. Elizabeth was their only daughter, after all. Such high hopes he’d held for her when she was younger. He’d pictured her riding at Royal Windsor, graduating from Oxford University with Honours, and marrying Terence Allsopp. But now… now… He shook his head and looked away.

  “Are you alright, dear?” Gwyneth asked when Lizzy returned.

  Lizzy had tried to freshen herself as best she could, but how much longer could she keep it up? She took her seat and placed her napkin on her lap. “Yes, Mother. I’m fine, thank you.” Picking up her sandwich, she forced herself to take a bite.

  When she looked up, she followed the direction of her mother’s eyes and froze. They were fixated on her left hand. A ring mark. Her body sagged. She slowly lifted her eyes and looked at her mother.

  “Elizabeth, please don’t tell me you’re married,” Gwyneth stammered. Lizzy felt so sorry for her mother in that moment. The colour drained out of her mother’s face, and Lizzy feared she might faint.

  But Lizzy couldn’t deny it. She lowered her hand onto her lap and breathed deeply. “I know you’ll both be disappointed, but yes, Daniel and I are married. We were going to tell you, but then Daniel couldn’t make it…” Her voice trailled off.

  Silence sliced the air like a knife. Lizzy’s heart pounded in her chest. What would they say?

  “Get out of here immediately, Elizabeth! You disgust me!” Her father stood so fast he knocked his chair over. The waiter ran to help, and every diner in the restaurant stopped eating and gaped at the spectacle.

  Lizzy looked at her father and rose. His nostrils flared, and his face had reddened.

  “Very well, Father. But you might also like to know you’re going to be a grandfather.” And with that, she spun on her heels and strode out of the restaurant.

  Gwyneth gasped at Lizzy’s announcement and reached out to her, but it was too late. Lizzy had disappeared out the door.

  Gwyneth stood unsteadily and grabbed Roger’s arm. “We need to go after her, Roger. We can’t just let her go like that.”

  “I don’t know why we should. I don’t understand her at all, Gwyneth. Why would she do such a thing?” Roger ran his hands through his hair and paced on the spot.

  “For a number of reasons I can think of.” Gwyneth took a deep breath and squared her jaw. “Pay the bill, Roger, then we’ll go look for her.”

  Roger’s eyes darted around the restaurant. The others diners had resumed eating and talking, almost as if nothing had happened. He straightened his jacket, lifted his chin, and paid the bill.

  Outside the hotel, Roger and Gwyneth stood together on the pavement, their eyes scouring the immediate area for any sign of Lizzy.

  “She can’t have gone far. Maybe she’s in the park,” Gwyneth said, pointing across the road.

  Roger looked at his watch and drew in a long breath.

  Gwyneth stared at him. “How dare you, Roger! She’s your daughter. And she’s pregnant. We might not like it, but if we don’t want to lose her completely, we need to find her.”

  Roger narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips, but followed Gwyneth across the road.

  “I think I see her.” Gwyneth grabbed Roger’s arm and pulled him along the path to the right to where Lizzy sat on a park bench.

  Lizzy’s head hung low with her arms wrapped around her stomach. She looked up as her parents came to a standstill in front of her.

  “I won’t talk unless you’re civil.” She crossed her arms pertly and pulled herself up.

  “We’ll try, Elizabeth. We’ll try.” Gwyneth sat beside her daughter and placed her arm gently around Lizzy’s shoulder.

  Lizzy fought the impulse to pull away, but remained still.

  “Are you really expecting?” Gwyneth’s voice was surprisingly soothing, and her touch calming. Lizzy hadn’t been this close to her mother for many years. Her perfume was still the same. Chanel No. 5. It’s distinct, fresh smell evoked so many memories. But right now it made her queasy. She tilted her face slightly to her mother’s as she inched away and nodded, her eyes glistening.

  Tears rolled down Gwyneth’s cheeks. How long had it been since she’d seen her mother cry? Lizzy fetched a tissue from her bag and handed it to her.

  “I’m sorry, Elizabeth. It’s just such a shock.” Gwyneth dabbed her eyes and took a deep breath before continuing. She squeezed Lizzy’s hand and searched her eyes. “How are you, dear? Are you feeling okay?”

  Lizzy inhaled deeply, and blinked back her own tears. She had to remain strong. “Yes, thank you, Mother. I’m keeping reasonably well.”

  Gwyneth squeezed Lizzy’s hand again, a warm smile growing on her face. “We couldn’t leave without finding you, Elizabeth.”

  Gwyneth tilted her head and looked to Roger for support.

  The scowl on Roger’s face left no doubt about his feelings. “This is a sorry mess you’ve got yourself into, girl. I assume you married him because he got you pregnant?” He studied Lizzy with thinly veiled disapproval.

  Lizzy looked at him and narrowed her eyes.

  “No Father. I wasn’t pregnant when we married.” She straightened her shoulders defensively. “In fact, you might be surprised to learn I was unblemished when we married.”

  “I find that hard to believe.” Roger turned his back and folded his arms, his head lifted high and his back as straight as a rod.

  “Believe it or not, it’s true.” Lizzy stood and spoke to her father’s back, hands defiantly placed on her hips. “I also happen to love Daniel. I don’t care what you think, Father, but Daniel and I are married, and we are having a child. Deal with it in whatever way you see fit.” She turned and looked at her mother, her demeanour softening. “Mother, I hope you’re happy about the news. I’m sure you’ll be a wonderful grandmother.” Lizzy smiled warmly at her and then took a deep breath.

  Gwyneth returned Lizzy’s smile, and wiped another tear from her eye. She reached out her hand to Lizzy. Lizzy took it and squeezed it before walking off. In that moment, Lizzy knew she had an ally in her mother.

  Chapter Seven

  Lizzy hailed a taxi and climbed in. Having snatched one last look at her parents before turning the corner, she settled herself into the back seat and took stock of the turn of events. The words she’d spoken to her father played on her mind. Yes, she was married to Daniel, and they were having a child together. But did she really love him?

  Moments passed, her mind racing through endless scenarios. Was she with him only because she had no choice now they were having a child? If she did have a choice, would she choose to stay and love him? Or would she still choose Mathew over Daniel if there was the slightest possibility of that happening?

  Finally Lizzy acknowledged she did love him. They weren’t just words she’d spat at her father. It was the truth. She loved Daniel, and she’d defend him against her father time and time again.

  If only he wouldn’t drink.

  When Lizzy entered the apartment, she sighed and trudged to her bedroom. She threw her bag on the bed, walked to the dresser and picked up her wedding ring. Just a simple gold band, yet it tied her to Daniel, for better, for worse. It had also given her secret away. She slipped it onto her finger and held it up.

  When would he come home? How she needed his arms around her.

  Her body tensed when she heard the key turn in the lock. Sleep had eluded her once again, and she glanced at the
clock, even though she already knew it was past midnight. Where had he been all this time?

  She jumped as one of his boots flew off and hit the wall. He lumbered into the bedroom and undressed clumsily. The stench of alcohol permeated the room and made her nauseous. She remained still but her heart beat fast. Oh God, please protect me. She tensed when he climbed into bed, but relaxed a little as he settled in close to her and wrapped his arm gently around her. His body shuddered as he wept. She rolled over and hugged him.

  Lizzy rose early despite the late night. She glanced at Daniel sleeping soundly, and tip-toed out of the room so as not to wake him. Standing in the kitchen, waiting for the kettle to boil, she picked up one of their few framed wedding photos. How much had changed since that day when she so naively married him.

  The kettle whistled and she poured herself a cup of tea. Sitting on the couch, she glanced at her Bible laying unopened and neglected on the side table. She picked it up and opened it, the familiar feel of the pages warming her heart. It’s been too long, Lord. Please forgive me.

  Lizzy flicked through several pages before settling on Psalm 42, one of her favourites. She read the words before humming them, and as she sang, tears streamed down her face. ‘Yes Lord, as the deer pants for the water, so my soul longs after you. You alone are my heart’s desire and I long to worship you. You alone are my strength, my shield, to you alone will my spirit yield. You alone are my heart’s desire and I long to worship you.’

  Closing her eyes, Lizzy prayed for forgiveness for marrying Daniel while she was still loved Mathew. She prayed for Daniel, that he’d come to know God’s love in his life, and that he’d learn to face his problems without the need for alcohol. For their baby, that it would be healthy and strong, and wrapped in love. For her parents and their relationship. And for herself.

  Lizzy felt God’s presence in the very depths of her soul. She felt renewed, refreshed.

  The alarm brought her back to the present. She jumped up and ran to the bedroom to turn it off, but she was too slow - Daniel was awake and pulling himself up as she entered the room. The smell of stale alcohol made her gag, and she brought her hand to her mouth.

  She stopped and looked at him. His eyes were bleary and he needed a wash and a shave. Lizzy bit her lip and decided there and then, she’d love him as she’d promised...

  He leaned against the pillows and looked at her with sorrow in his eyes. “Lizzy, come here my sweet girl. I’m sorry.”

  She walked to the bed and climbed into his arms. He kissed the top of her head and pulled her tight.

  They sat at the table and shared the breakfast Lizzy had prepared. Not that she ate much, but she needed to be near him. She leaned back in her chair and studied the outline of his face, wondering at the turn of events that resulted in her sitting here with him like this. Eventually she spoke the words he had to hear.

  “They know, Daniel. My parents know about us and the baby.”

  His hand stopped midway to his mouth and his eyes widened.

  “Oh….. Lizzy, I’m so sorry.” He lowered his fork and reached his hand out to her. The genuine sorrow in his eyes touched her heart. “Tell me what happened.”

  As she told him about the meeting with her parents, the need to discuss his actions of the week leading up to it pressed on her. It couldn’t just be ignored. It was wrong of him to have left her to face her parents on her own. He was her husband, and he should have been there to support her. Instead, where was he? She could get really angry if she wasn’t careful. Maybe she needed to. Just because she loved him, it didn’t mean he could get away with treating her like this.

  She swallowed before looking him in the eye.

  “Daniel, we need to talk about why you weren’t there.”

  He looked startled and didn’t answer straight away. His body was rigid, she’d rattled him. She didn’t care. They had to talk about it.

  Lizzy’s gaze remained on Daniel. Silence filled the air with only the ticking of the clock interrupting it.

  He put his toast down and folded his arms before finally responding. “I know I let you down this week, Lizzy, and I feel bad about it.” He sighed wearily and lifted his eyes. “I’m sorry. I should have been there.” He took her hand and looked into her eyes. “I promise I’ll never let you down again.”

  Lizzy thought for a moment. He’d apologised, but could she trust him? She tilted her head and tapped her fingers on the table.

  “That’s a big promise, Daniel. What makes you think you can keep it, when every day this week you said you were sorry after you’d been out drinking, but then you still did it again?” She straightened her head and regarded him with a steady gaze. “I don’t see that anything’s changed, really.”

  He sighed and dipped his head, his whole body slumping. “You’re right, Lizzy. It was the thought of seeing your parents. It was just easier to drink and disappear than face them.”

  “Well, that’s a start, I guess. But it doesn’t excuse your behaviour. You let me down, Daniel.” She sat back and crossed her arms pertly, almost savouring his discomfort. “I hope next time we have a difficult situation you’ll be man enough to face it.”

  Lizzy’s eyes were unwavering. Daniel averted his face and stared out the window. Had she said too much? Her heart thumped in her chest.

  At last he turned back and let out a long, low sigh.

  “I don’t know, Lizzy. All I can do is try.”

  Lizzy eased off just a little. Really, that was all she could ask for. “Well, you need to try hard, Daniel. For the baby’s sake, and mine.” She stood and placed her hands on the back of the chair. “I’m going to church today. Maybe you should come with me.” She walked to the sink and began washing the dishes.

  Daniel remained seated. His head hurt, but Lizzy’s words had hurt him more. He didn’t want to lose her. He loved her too much. But could he go to church? Maybe he needed to.

  He closed his eyes and leaned on his elbows. What kind of a man was he to let his wife go through what Lizzy had just gone through? He really was no good for her. But he loved her.

  He stood and walked to the bedroom.

  “Wait, Liz, I’ll come with you.”

  Lizzy peered from the bathroom to where Daniel was seated on the bed, slipping his boots on. She’d been wondering as she got ready if he’d come. Maybe God was answering her prayers already.

  She looked at him and smiled, and sent up a quick prayer of thanks.

  Standing in church a little while later with Daniel beside her, Lizzy felt at peace. Ever since she’d committed her heart to the Lord when she was at University with Sal, she’d loved going to church. Sure, she knew God was with her constantly, and she could pray to Him wherever she was, but there was something special about joining together with other believers in praise and worship. And she’d really missed it. But now, it was like the Holy Spirit was breathing new life into her heart.

  She prayed that Daniel would also feel God reaching out to him, and that his heart would be open. It would be so wonderful if they could be on the same path. Marrying Daniel when he didn’t share her faith was just another mistake on her part, so now she needed to trust God to work it out for them. It did make her wonder, however, how many of her mistakes she could expect God to fix up. Was it presumptuous of her to ask God to fix the situations she’d got herself into? Time to think more about later. For now, she would just enjoy being in God’s house. She squeezed Daniel’s hand as they took their seats, and snuggled closer to him.

  At the end of the service Nessa came over and hugged her. It’d been a while since they’d seen each other, and Lizzy chastised herself for letting their friendship slip. It was Nessa, after all, who’d introduced her to Daniel. It crossed her mind that Nessa most likely knew about Daniel and his drinking.

  When Nessa invited them to lunch the following Sunday, it gave the perfect opportunity to talk to her about him.

  Chapter Eight

  The week passed without event, much to Liz
zy’s relief. She did, however, check the clock every few minutes from about four o’clock onwards, and often jumped up to look out the classroom window to see if Daniel had arrived. She knew she was being overly anxious, as he’d promised he’d be there by half four. So far he’d arrived on time or early every day.

  When half four came on Friday and he wasn’t there, she started to panic. She was packed and ready to go, so she locked the classroom door and headed out to the car park. She bit on her lip as she walked to the wall where she’d sat so often the previous week. She sat down, but stood again straight away. I’m not going to do this. I said I wouldn’t wait. She sighed and clenched her fists. Oh God, where is he? She walked to the edge of the road. The angrier she became, the faster her heart beat. She’d just put her hand out to hail a taxi when she saw the Ford Escort trundling along the road towards her.

  She let out a huge sigh, and shook her head at Daniel as he pulled up.

  He leaned over and opened the door. “Sorry sweetie. The traffic was worse today.” He kissed her as she sat beside him. Why had she doubted him?

  Gwyneth called that night. Lizzy took the phone and sat on the couch. Daniel was still eating his dinner, but he shifted his chair so he could see her face.

  “Mother, how was your trip?”

  “Edinburgh was lovely, dear. And your father’s business dealings were successful. But how are you? How is your morning sickness?”

  “Not so bad this week. I’ve been feeling better most days, thanks.”

  “Your news surprised us, Elizabeth, I have to say. We’d certainly never expected it.”

  “I’m sorry I shocked you, Mother. I hope Father will come around.”