The Shadows Trilogy Box Set: A Christian Romance

by Juliette Duncan

  Lizzy gave an exasperated sigh. “It’s okay, Daniel. I know you’re nervous.”

  “I guess we’ve got everything?”

  “Yes, Daniel, we’ve got everything.”

  Lizzy pulled out the choke and sent up a quick prayer of thanks when the car started first go.

  “Just as well we don’t have the Escort anymore, hey love?”

  She threw him a wry look as she thrust the gear stick into first and sped off down the track. Yes, but I miss my old car…

  Once on the open road, Lizzy gave the Fiesta a good workout. Daniel turned the radio up and leaned back in his seat, humming to the music. Dillon thankfully had fallen asleep soon after leaving.

  She shouldn’t have been so short with Daniel. He was nervous about meeting up with his family, especially his Da. She knew that. Despite all the discussion they’d had, and all the praying they’d done, he was still nervous. Who wouldn’t be? She should be grateful he hadn’t turned to drink as he would have in the past. Yes, she should’ve been more patient and understanding. Lizzy sighed as she sped past a slow lorry. God, will I ever get it right?

  Lost in her thoughts, and with Daniel and Dillon both fast asleep, the miles slipped away. Everything was fine, and they made good time until they hit a foggy patch. Lizzy slammed on the brakes as the cars ahead came to a standstill. Daniel jolted forward and almost hit his head on the dash.

  He straightened himself and faced Lizzy. “Whoa, love. You trying to kill us?”

  “No Daniel. But look at this!” Lizzy raised her hand and waved it around. “If it doesn’t start moving, we won’t get there in time.”

  “Calm down, love. You can’t do anything about it.”

  “I know, but what if we miss the boat?”

  Daniel peered out the window. “Where are we?”

  “About half an hour out. Can you check the map? I think we turn off soon. That’s if we ever get moving again.” Lizzy gritted her teeth and tapped the steering wheel.

  Daniel opened the map and studied it as the traffic began to slowly move again.

  “Have you found where we are?” Lizzy glanced at him. “I think I can make out a sign up ahead.”

  “Not sure, love. Still looking.”

  “The lorry’s covering the sign. I need to make a decision. Left or right?”

  “Give me a minute...”

  “We haven’t got a minute, Daniel!” Lizzy’s pulse quickened. Why couldn’t he read a map? How he’d managed to get himself around the world was beyond her. Too late to get across, no choice - she had to go right. She sighed heavily. God, I hope this is the right way…

  She breathed easier when a sign for the port showed up ahead.

  “See, nothing to worry about.” Daniel’s grin was infectious and she couldn’t help letting out a small laugh as she shook her head.

  “Yes, but we’re still cutting it fine.”

  “Maybe, but we’ll be right, Liz. You’ll see.”

  “Ten minutes until check-in closes. We’ll have to run when we get there.”

  Reaching the car park, Lizzy frantically searched for a spot. Finally finding one, she pulled in and brought the car to an abrupt halt.

  Grabbing a trolley, Daniel placed their bags on it as Lizzy picked up Dillon and almost threw him into his push chair. He needed a feed, but he’d have to wait. The ferry wouldn’t.

  People milled about, the din hurting her ears. So many counters. So many people. She scanned the area frantically.

  “Over there, Liz.” Daniel pointed to the check-in counter to his right, and steered the trolley towards it.

  “I never want to do that again, Daniel. Two minutes more and we would’ve missed it.”

  “But we made it, love, that’s all that matters.” Daniel winked, dispelling her angst in an instant. It worked on her every time.

  “Yes, we did. Just. I’ve got to feed and change Dillon before we board, but I can’t see anywhere to sit. Can you find somewhere, Daniel?” Lizzy lifted Dillon out of his pram and gagged. “Poor little man. No wonder you’ve been upset.” She wanted to comfort him, but held him at arm’s length.

  “I’ll take him to the bathroom to change him. I won’t be long.” Lizzy reached up and kissed Daniel on the cheek. “I’m sorry for losing my patience, Daniel.”

  Daniel smiled and brushed her cheek with his fingertips. “It was both our faults, Lizzy. I’m sorry too.”

  Lizzy smiled as she walked to the bathroom. She hated being angry with Daniel.

  She found the bathroom easily. The whole area needed a clean, but at least it had a changing bench. Laying Dillon on his back, she tried to placate him as she battled to clean him.

  “Come on little man. Work with me. The sooner you do, the sooner you can be fed.”

  With Dillon finally cleaned and smelling much better, Lizzy hurried back to Daniel, now standing alone with the bags.

  “Boarding’s begun, Liz. Here, let me take him.”

  Lizzy handed Dillon over and followed Daniel to the end of the slow moving queue.

  “Where do we go, Daniel?” Lizzy called once aboard the ship. She didn’t like the way she was being jostled. Everyone seemed to be in a hurry.

  “Follow me,” Daniel called out over his shoulder.

  She followed him to a quiet area with lounges on the left side of the ship.

  “We can stay here all day if we want. I’ll put our luggage in one of the lockers.”

  Lizzy sat on one of the lounges, thankful Daniel knew his way about, and began to feed Dillon.

  As the ship pulled out of port, Lizzy realised she had no idea whether she’d get sea-sick or not, never having been on the open ocean before.

  She soon discovered she wasn’t a good sailor. Not long out of port the ship began to roll and a wave of nausea hit her. Her body instantly felt clammy. She threw Dillon into Daniel’s arms and sprinted for the bathroom, just making it.

  She wasn’t the only one who spent most of their time in the bathrooms heaving up green bile.

  Morning sickness has nothing on this. Maybe I won’t make it to Ireland after all.

  While Lizzy spent most of her time either in the bathroom or laying prostrate on the lounge, Daniel walked up and down the boat with Dillon, often in his arms, and occasionally in the push chair. Every time he passed one of the bars, his taste buds played havoc on his brain, and he had to tear his gaze away from the kegs holding the amber liquid.

  If it hadn’t been for Dillon, it would’ve been so easy to give in. Maybe Lizzy being sick is God’s way of keeping me sober. Daniel grinned at God’s sense of humour. He’d have to tell Lizzy when she was well enough to understand. She might not appreciate it after being so sick, but oh well. Tell her anyway.

  The first few hours passed slowly. Dillon didn’t want to sleep. Daniel had hoped the movement of the boat might’ve settled him, but it had the opposite effect, and Dillon had also been sick once or twice. By mid-afternoon, Daniel was at his wits’ end. Lizzy was in no fit state to help -she could hardly even feed the baby, let alone do anything else. After Dillon had been fed, Daniel decided to try again, and put Dillon in the push chair and walked him briskly up and down the deck. Not daring to stop, Daniel guessed that Dillon might have finally fallen asleep after five or so minutes. He continued walking for another few minutes and then slowed down enough to take a look. Yes, the wee little man had finally given in. Hallelujah!

  Daniel retraced his steps and lay down on the lounge opposite Lizzy, half lying, half sitting, one leg on the lounge, the other slowly rocking the push chair. He’d just rest his eyes for a few moments while Dillon slept…

  Although his body rested, his mind was active, and strange images flitted through, jolting him into semi-awareness every now and then. A picture of Mam sitting at the dinner table peeling vegetables flashed through his mind. Mam…

  Da had been sent home from work again that day. Every day he went, hoping to get a day’s work, but more often than not, he and many others were
sent packing without any work or pay. On those days, Da would spend his time out back, drinking with Micheal O’Leary from next door. And on those days, Mam would more than likely suffer at Da’s hands.

  Summer in the Cregagh Estate offered many opportunities for two eight year old boys to fill their time. Daniel and his best mate from next door, Colin O’Leary, spent most of their summer holidays fishing down at the River Lagan, or tramping along the river’s edge and canal paths, stopping now and then to throw in a line. They’d set off in the morning, and wouldn’t return until late afternoon, usually with at least a couple of good sized trout to give to their Mam’s, who depended on the boy’s efforts to help feed their families.

  That day started like any other…

  “Daniel, now don’t you go getting yourself into any mischief, you hear?” Mam handed him a brown paper bag containing two large oat cookies. Mary O’Connor was so short, that at eight years of age, Daniel almost stood eye to eye with her. He couldn’t help but notice how big her belly was getting. He sighed. Another bairn on the way. Another mouth to share their food with.

  “No Mam, we’ll be good. Promise.”

  “Off with you then. And make sure you bring home a good catch today.” Daniel chuckled at his mother’s words. Exactly the same as every other day’s.

  “We’ll try, Mam.” He flashed her a cheeky grin and darted quickly out of her reach. Mam had an annoying habit of ruffling his hair, but she did it because she loved him, not to annoy him. He didn’t mind, really, but it was still better to escape it if he could.

  Daniel ran out the door, leaving the chaos of his home behind him, and jumped over the piles of assorted objects lying discarded in the backyard and into the yard next door to meet up with Colin.

  “Hey Colin, you ready?” Daniel called out through the back window where he knew Colin would be. He daren’t go inside. Colin’s Mam was worse than his own. Her humongous body smelt, and she had long hairs coming out from under her arms. Despite that, she was quite a nice person - from a distance.

  “Coming,” Colin replied.

  A moment later, the short red headed boy with freckles appeared on the door step. He too held a brown paper bag in his hand.

  “What have you got today?” Daniel asked.

  “Strawberries and cream.”

  “Go on with you, Colin O’Leary. Let me look.”

  “No. It’s all mine.”

  “You’ve got oatcakes, the same as me.”

  “No I haven’t.”

  “Yes you have.”

  “Doesn’t hurt to pretend.”

  “S’pose.”

  The two boys continued their friendly banter as they headed off towards the river for their day of fishing and exploring.

  “Hope we don’t see those crazy Catholics today,” Colin said as they took their spot on the bank of the river. In the distance, army helicopters hovered over the city as they did every day, but the boys ignored them.

  “If we do, we’ll shoot them with our sticks.” Daniel held up the long stick he used for fishing and pretended it was a gun, shooting the hated Catholic kids they sometimes had the ill fortune of meeting.

  “Yeah, we’ll get ‘em good.” Colin joined in, and before long, they’d killed all the Catholics that dared to walk along their path.

  Later, sitting on the edge of the bank with their legs dangling close to the muddy water, they munched on an oat cookie each, pretending they were strawberries and cream.

  “Do you even know what strawberries taste like?” Daniel asked Colin.

  “Yeh. Like a Gobstopper.”

  “No they don’t. I had one once. It was all soft and sweet and tasted like heaven.”

  “What does heaven taste like?”

  Daniel thought for a moment. “Like a Gobstopper.” He peeled over backwards in laughter, and Colin joined him.

  Sitting up suddenly, Daniel looked at Colin. “We’d better catch some fish. I’ll get a backhander if I go home empty handed.”

  “Yeah, me too.”

  For the next hour or so, the boys concentrated on fishing, and between them caught five good sized trout.

  “Guess it’s fish for dinner again.” Colin’s shoulders slumped beneath the weight of his bucket. “Don’t like fish.”

  “Better than broth.”

  “Guess so.”

  The boys trudged back to their homes. They would’ve stayed out longer, but if they did, they’d expect a hiding from their Da’s for being late and for getting up to no good. Not that their Da’s ever asked what they actually did. Their Da’s just assumed the boys always got up to mischief.

  At their front gates, the boys separated. From the front, the brown brick terraced houses looked exactly the same. Two storeys high, and stretching as far as you could see, the row of houses was cold and lifeless. Daniel hated the brown brick, and wished he could paint it a bright colour, but he’d never be allowed.

  He paused before entering the house to listen for Da. The coast was clear. He tiptoed in and placed the fish on the kitchen sink. So far so good. He snuck out of the kitchen and had his first foot on the threadbare step when a heavy hand landed on his shoulder. He froze. Not again, please, no.

  He turned around slowly and looked into Da’s bloodshot eyes.

  A shriek roused Daniel from his sleep. He sprang up, dazed. Where was he? Shaking his head, he looked at the source of the noise. Dillon was awake and screaming, his little arms thrashing in the air. Lizzy wasn’t about.

  Standing, Daniel undid the clip on the push chair and lifted the screaming baby to his shoulder.

  “There, there, little one. Da’s sorry.”

  Daniel froze. Where had that word come from? He never, ever used it for himself. He’d been dreaming about his childhood. And Da… A sickness developed in the pit of his stomach. Tomorrow he’d be seeing him again - face to face.

  Daniel sat back down and held Dillon close to his chest, gently patting him on his back. Maybe it’d been a bad idea to come back. Could he really face that man again after all he’d done? How many beatings had he and his brothers and sisters suffered at the hands of that cruel man? And how many times had Mam been so battered she could hardly get out of bed? And now he’d come back, wanting to make amends. Twenty years too late, Thomas O’Connor. Twenty years too late.

  “God, you’re going to have to give me the strength to do this. I can’t do it on my own. There’s just no way.”

  Daniel sighed deeply. “There there, Dillon. It’s okay.” He looked up as Lizzy came towards him, still a little green, but better than before.

  “How are you feeling, my sweet?” Daniel pushed thoughts of Da away for the moment and gave Lizzy his full attention.

  Sitting beside him, she reached for Dillon. “I’ve had better days. I never knew anyone could be so sick. And the boat’s even stopped rolling.” Shaking her head, she smiled weakly at Dillon.

  “What’s all this nonsense, then, my little man?” Dillon calmed down as soon as he was in her lap. Amazing.

  “We’re almost there, love. Should be docking within the half hour.” Daniel placed his arm gently around her shoulder and pulled her close. “I don’t know I can do this.”

  Lizzy pulled away slightly and held his gaze. “No, you can’t, Daniel, but God can. He’s brought you this far, He’ll be with you the rest of the way.”

  He gazed into her eyes, so strong, and so right. God was here, and wouldn’t let him down.

  As the ship sailed towards the dock, darkness settled over Belfast, the lingering colours of twilight slowly giving way to the artificial lights of the big city.

  Lizzy stayed close to Daniel as they lined up with all the other passengers jostling for position to get off first. She felt claustrophobic with so many people so close.

  “I need to get off,” she whispered to Daniel. Slapping her hand over her mouth, she attempted to calm her nausea.

  “Are you going to be sick?” Daniel’s voice was gentle and full of concern.


  She nodded, and then pushed her way through the crowd to get to the side of the boat, immediately feeling better as she gulped in the fresh air. She turned her head slightly as Daniel laid his hand on her shoulder.

  “Are you alright, love?”

  She smiled weakly. “Yes. I just couldn’t handle being in that crush. Let them go. There’s no hurry, is there?”

  Daniel shook his head. “No, not really. We can stay here until it clears.” He paused, placing his arm around her shoulder. “Lizzy, do you mind if I have a smoke?”

  Lizzy slipped her arm around his waist and held his gaze. “You’re nervous, aren’t you?”

  “Yeah, you could say that.”

  “Go on, then. Have a cigarette if it’ll help.”

  “Thanks love.” Daniel pulled the packet from his jacket pocket and lit up. “I will give up, Lizzy, I promise.”

  When he planted a kiss on her head, she leaned in to him. It didn’t matter. She loved him just the way he was.

  Chapter Six

  “I feel bad we’ve made them wait,” Lizzy said as she and Daniel walked along the corridor towards the Arrivals Hall at the end of the long line of passengers.

  “Don’t, Lizzy. It’s only a few minutes between first and last off.”

  “They might think we’re not coming.”

  “It’s okay, Lizzy. Stop panicking.”

  “I’m not panicking.” Lizzy shot Daniel an angry glance and straightened her shoulders defensively.

  “Yes, you are.”

  But her grip on the push chair tightened the closer they got. What would his family be like? Would they have anything in common? As much as she tried, her English accent was impossible to hide. What would they think of her? Would they see her as someone who considered herself better than they, just because of her accent, even though that’s not what she thought? Was she over-thinking it? They were just people, after all. And God was with her. She should never forget that. As long as she remained open to Him, His love and kindness would shine through her. She inhaled deeply. God, please help me get along with them. Let your love shine through me, I pray. Her heart pounded, nevertheless.