Fantasy Online Polynya: A LitRPG Saga

by Harmon Cooper

  Once they’re too old, or if they start having children and gain weight, he’ll move them to the salons he manages in Nakano, if they still want to do this for a living. The old fucks that frequent those places don’t care about appearances anyway.

  “Are their girls prettier?”

  “No, of course not,” Rin says.

  “Then what is it?”

  Rin’s voice softens as if he’s in on some big secret. “I had the door guy, Akira, visit the place two nights ago as a civilian.”

  “And?”

  “Humandroids. They are employing humandroids.”

  “So are we.” Kodai looks at Tesla, who stands at the doorway practically at attention.

  She turns her head to Kodai and smiles. “Is there something you’d like me to do?” she asks.

  “There is.”

  His mouth still agape, Rin looks askance at the humandroid and finally turns back to Kodai. “She’s … a humandroid?”

  “Yes, a newer model. You couldn’t tell?”

  “No, I thought … ” He shrugs. “I thought she was your girlfriend, or something, but then I was wondering why you didn’t have your normal security detail with you, but then I assumed they were on the rooftop.”

  “Wrong on all counts and yes, Tesla, I would like you to see about the humandroids they are employing.”

  “And who will provide security for you while I’m out?”

  “Give me a moment.”

  Kodai’s iNet screen flashes on his pupils as he fires off a message to Yugio, Gorira’s replacement.

  Yugio: I can be at Jan Hinamaru in thirty minutes.

  Kodai: Make it twenty.

  “Yugio will come with a few men. Once he’s here, I’d like you to see about the humandroids at N-Cats,” Kodai tells Tesla.

  (0)__(0)

  Yugio and his men arrive, and in the meantime, Kodai has Rin order each of the female employees to come to the office and speak with him. He gives each of them a small bonus, and tells them what a good job they’ve been doing. At the same time, he comments on their weight, tells the one named Aimi to get a different haircut, and reminds the women that they are always able to interview for jobs at his other establishments if they want to try something else in the water trade.

  The water trade, mizu shōbai, is the euphemism used exclusively for the nighttime entertainment business in Japan. This euphemism encompasses everything from hostess bars to cabarets, and while Kodai has businesses that fit under the general mizu shōbai umbrella, his most profitable subcategory is fūzoku, the sex industry. Soaplands, fashion health shops, pink salons, image clubs – sex is a cash cow, and it always will be, which is why Kodai is excited to deal with the competition.

  Kodai and Rin now sit on two chairs in front of the holoscreen. The holoscreen broadcasts Tesla’s iNet feed. The humandroid is in the alley outside of N-Cats, walking casually up the street.

  “In position, Rin,” she says, her voice coming out of a sleek rectangular speaker over the holoscreen.

  Kodai smiles at Rin and returns his gaze to Tesla’s feed.

  “Good,” Rin says, clearing his throat. “Stick to the plan.”

  Tesla approaches the front door of N-Cats and is stopped by an older man in a black suit.

  “Can I help you?” he asks warily.

  “I’m here from Walliburton subsidiary, WallRep,” she says, flashing her humandroid ID.

  “Subsidiary?” He studies her ID for a moment longer.

  “Please, get your manager if you must,” she tells him.

  The man fires off a message to the manager of N-Cats, who struts out a minute or so later. The man is in his early thirties and he is dressed in a tacky white suit, a black shirt, and a white tie. He chews on his toothpick for a moment as he looks her over.

  “What is this about?” he finally asks, his voice scratchy and harsh.

  “Are you the manager?”

  “I am.”

  “And how many humandroids do you employ?”

  “Two – wait, what?”

  “Routine maintenance check, WallRep.” Tesla hands the manager her humandroid ID.

  “It doesn’t say anything here about WallRep,” he finally says. “Hey!”

  Tesla’s right hand chops at the security guard’s throat and she uses her left to coldcock the manager in the face. The manager comes up, nose gushing blood, and by this point, she’s already behind him, dragging him inside the club.

  “Who the fuck are you!?” the manager screams, snot and blood flying onto the floor.

  She pushes him to his knees and takes a small device about the size of a Tic Tac box out of her pocket and places it against his temple. Once his iNet feed is overridden, she pulls his head back and slams it into the wall.

  “Fuck!” Kodai says, punching his fist into his other hand as he watches the live feed. He glances at Rin. He had mixed feelings about allowing the pink salon’s manager to watch this, but he decided to allow it for two reasons: one, he wants Rin to know what he’s capable of; two, he wants Rin to be part of the crime in some way, in case he ever tries to rat him out.

  He returns his attention to the holoscreen, watching as Tesla now drags the security guard in, who is still choking from the chop she gave him.

  The humandroid tosses him on the ground next to the manager, wipes his iNet feed with her little Tic Tac box, brings her foot back and kicks him hard enough to shatter his jaw.

  Rin winces at the sound and Kodai hisses at him, “Speak.”

  “Good,” Rin says, his voice wavering, “um, continue forward.”

  “Will do, Rin.” Tesla makes her way from the lobby to the main room of the establishment, and as she walks, she quickly unholsters her sidearm.

  She stops behind a woman kneeling in front of a porker of a man.

  The humandroid sex worker looks up at Tesla and suddenly stops sucking the man’s cock.

  “Leave,” the sex worker tells him, pulling away.

  “What?”

  Tesla fires a shot from her weapon directly into the side of the humandroid’s metal skull.

  The topless woman spills left, and as the man tries to pull his pants up to scramble away, Tesla steps over to the humandroid, presses her weapon into the woman’s shoulder and fires, so the bullet passes all the way through her body, shoulder to shoulder, and tears out the other side of her e-skin.

  “Humandroids have unique points on their body where they can be neutralized,” Kodai whispers to Rin matter-of-factly. “Simply shooting their head off doesn’t always work.”

  “Will … the others fight her?”

  “Actually, I don’t know,” Kodai says. “From what I’ve read, humandroid sex workers have their violence governors adjusted, otherwise they may try to defend themselves if someone performs a deviant behavior they deem to be a threat.”

  A naked brunette with her hair tied into two pigtails swings at Tesla.

  “Does that answer your question? Tell Tesla to neutralize all humandroid targets.”

  Rin clears his throat. “Neutralize all targets, Tesla.”

  “Will do, Rin,” she says as the brunette comes in for another swing.

  Tesla pistol-whips the woman and sends her stumbling backwards. She unloads the rest of her magazine into the nude droid, who keeps coming at her, crawling on the floor and dragging her lower body.

  Tesla steps around her, places the bottom of her heel against the back of the woman’s neck and stomps. She stomps again and again, until the humandroid is twitching.

  From there, Tesla loads another mag into her gun, yanks the woman up so she’s sitting, and fires a shot sideways through her body.

  Kodai claps his hands together. “Tell her to come back.”

  “You can, um, go ahead and come on back.”

  “Roger, Rin,” Tesla’s voice echoes out of the speaker.

  “Now to see about something else.” Kodai’s iNet desktop comes alive on his pupils and he pulls up the live feed from Tritania t
o find Tamana standing on the rooftop of the Shinigami’s rented guildhall in Aramis.

  (0)__(x)

  Tamana has been leveling since the betrayal yesterday, aided by a dark spell that increases the EXP doled out at night. Now up to level fifteen, Tamana isn’t strong enough to do as much damage as he’d like her to be able to do.

  But psychological damage can sting far worse than physical damage.

  Tamana Nakamura Level 15 White Warrior

  HP: 410/410

  MANA: 389/389

  ATK: 117

  DEF: 134

  MATK: 149

  MDF: 108

  LUCK: 6

  She stands in her alien Tagvornin armor custom fit to her shapely form. The armor is black, with red accents that run up the sides of her body. The collar extends up to the bottom of her elven ears and her white hair has been cut short to better fit the helmet.

  Tamana places a skull-shaped helm on her face and locks eyes with Kodai’s feed.

  She knows, Kodai thinks. He admires her armor for another moment. It was incredibly expensive, and without the serpent woman behind the door, he wouldn’t have been able to procure it.

  The armor is from an extinct Proxima world known as Unigaea, and the weapons of Tritania are all but useless against it. Even if they weren’t, it would still be hard to put her down, as the enchantment on the armor adds any damage to the wearer as extra HP.

  Kodai is hoping to get some of the Tagvornin armor himself, but this armor previously belonged to a woman, and unlike much of the armor in Tritania, it didn’t mold to fit his form.

  No matter.

  Kodai watches as a dragon takes shape in the air above the rooftop.

  The mirrored female dragon is a new addition to their ranks. The irony is that it was his younger brother’s guild, most notably a letter sent to the dragon by the filthy goblin, that turned the dragon to the serpent woman’s attention.

  It wasn’t long before the serpent woman had one of the stronger RPCs go to the Cape of Chukchis and take the dragon. And now the mirrored beast has a golden collar around its neck preventing it from getting away. If it so much as tries to attack any of the Shinigami, the collar will decapitate her with its inner blades.

  Riding the dragon is an RPC named Tomas, who wears Tagvornin armor and a Corinthian helmet. Tomas was one of the serpent woman’s first converts, and from what Tamana said, Tomas is the reason that the Swede has come to Tritania, which turned out to be completely true.

  FeeTwix Fajer.

  Kodai shifts his gaze from the dragon and Tamana to FeeTwix’s livestream, which shows the Mitherfickers moving in a wagon towards Katiyana. He has been monitoring the feed on and off since yesterday, after he became aware of who the Swede actually was.

  So far, FeeTwix had been good at covering his tracks, but he’d let lots of stuff slip too, like the sign fucking pointing to Katiyana.

  Then there’s the high elf that’s with them, another telltale sign of where Ryuk’s guild is heading.

  It’s too easy, Kodai thinks, refocusing again on Tamana, who waits patiently on the rooftop of the Shinigami’s guild. Once the mirrored beast has settled, Tamana climbs onto the mirrored dragon’s head. The mirrored female dragon is older, overweight, and not so glamorous with all the scales that have been plucked from her stomach, but she’ll work as transportation for now, until they can get some griffins in Polynya.

  After Tamana secures her seat, the dragon begins flapping its wings.

  This should really kick Ryuk in the nuts, Kodai thinks as the dragon lifts into the air. Tamana will prove a formidable foe for his younger brother’s guild, and Tomas, at level 51, will seal the deal.

  They’ll respawn, and she can kill them again once they do.

  It’s too easy, he thinks as he focuses on Tamana. She’ll never break from the trance put on her by the serpent woman.

  Kodai laughs aloud and Rin looks at him.

  “Everything okay, boss?” the pink salon manager asks, swallowing hard.

  “Yes,” he says sharply, “you’d know if things weren’t okay.”

  A message flashes on Kodai’s iNet screen and he flinches.

  Satomi: Your mother requests to see you and your brother at noon tomorrow. There will not be food, so eat before you come.

  Kodai’s recent happiness shatters into a million pieces. He closes his eyes, bites his lip, and finally fires off a message to their mother’s assistant.

  Kodai: Tell her we will be there. Has she contacted Ryuk?

  Satomi: I will contact him next. If he is diving, I will relay the message to Hajime.

  Kodai: Of course he’s diving; he’s always diving.

  Satomi: Then I will relay the message to Hajime.

  Chapter 9: Relics ‘R’ Us

  It’s early evening by the time the Mitherfickers pull up the long and winding road that leads to Katiyana. The setting sun cuts through the peaks of a few of the more jagged mountains that surround the elven village and the air is crisp, less humid than the air closer to the continental shelf.

  The Silver Ruby Bonus Package was worth its weight in, well, bronze, and Marty the Gnome did his ‘get in my belly’ move at least six times along the way, clearing out any Magic Gorgers in the vicinity.

  Wish we hadn’t lost that EXP though, Ryuk thinks as the wagon bumps up and down. He might be at the right level to travel to Polynya, but like always, they’ll need to get much stronger if they hope to face off against the Shinigami.

  And some faceoff that will be.

  There’s no telling what the Shinigami will throw at them next, and thinking about that again reminds him of the serpent woman he encountered in the basement of the Shinigami’s rented guildhall.

  “Still daydreaming about Tammy, huh, kid?” Hiccup asks as the wagon grinds to a halt.

  “Baka.” Ryuk hops out of the wagon without responding to the goblin.

  “What the fick, Marbles?” Hiccup calls after him. “Is that anyway to treat your only friend?”

  “I’m his friend too, Hiccup!” The Swede stands in his big overcoat and fingerless gloves next to Zaena, who hasn’t taken her eyes off the surrounding mountains since they approached the city.

  “Two friends then, and a dragon, and I’m not talking about you, Liz, I’m talking about this third wheel.”

  Hiccup approaches Yangu, who is still in the backpack slung over Ryuk’s shoulder. The baby dragon hisses and spits a fairly large cloud of icicles at the goblin.

  “Hey!” Hiccup waves his brass hand in front of him. “Keep it up, Snowballs, and you’ll find out what it feels like to become a dragon wing! Wait a damn minute … that’s a great nickname! Snowballs!”

  Zaena ruffles the goblin’s pink topknot. “Behave around the young dragon, and Snowballs? Is this really the nickname you’ve chosen?”

  “You catch on quick for a lizard, Lizzy. Let’s see, we have Marbles, Twixy, Elfy – although she’s not really part of the guild, and seriously, Marbles, if you want her to join up, we’re going to need to do a number of things as part of the Mitherfickers’ new extreme vetting rules, including a fickin’ polygraph and a palm reading because, believe you me, a lot can be discovered about a person via their palm, but that’s beside the point – where was I?”

  His eyes start to glaze over but light flashes behind them. “Snowballs! Marbles, Liz, Twixy, Uncle Goblin, and Snowballs.”

  Zaena mutters something in Thulean and Hiccup responds with an equally guttural, indecipherable response.

  “Snowballs is a fun name!” FeeTwix announces. “My fans are loving it! Any chance of a name change, Ryuk?” The Swede looks at him with big, puppy dog black eyes. “You know, for the fans.”

  Zaena scoffs. “We should let the dragon decide when it is older, once it can speak.”

  “Snowballs is a fickin’ good name, Liz, and you know it. Maybe even better if we add a ‘z’ to the end, Snowballz. No, too buzzy. Too douchey. Snowballs it is.”

  “Come on, you g
uys! Do you always argue this much?” Enway beckons them forward.

  “Who the fick is she to judge us?” Hiccup glances to Zaena for support and for once the Thulean nods.

  An odd couple if there ever was one, Ryuk thinks.

  A passing elf, an older man in purple robes with golden trim, sticks his nose up as soon as he spots Hiccup.

  “Yeah? Fick you too, mister.”

  “Excuse me?” A glowing orb appears in his hand.

  “I got two glowing orbs for you,” Hiccup tells him, grabbing his proof of goblinhood with his mechanical hand. “If you want it, bring it. It’ll be a cold day in the Empress’ expertly trimmed snatch before I let a fickin’ elf scare me!”

  “Cállete la pinche boca!” Enway steps between them and apologizes to the older elf, who smooths his hands over his robes, grunts, and moves on.

  “The fick did she just say?” Hiccup huffs. “Sounds like gibberish. Teachable moment,” he tells himself, “teachable moment. All right, Mitherfickers and Elfy, what you just witnessed there was an example of goblin discrimination. The elf saw me and he immediately turned his nose up. See, Liz? Told you it’s a thing.”

  “I think he raised his nose at you because you farted.”

  Hiccup nearly loses his balance. “Farted? I haven’t farted as you so crudely put it since we got out of the wagon.”

  “I know,” she says, pinching her nose, “it lingers.”

  “All right, all right,” FeeTwix tells his fans as a mirror appears in his hand, “now is as good a time as any.”

  “Boy fick, here we go.”

  The Swede smiles at his own reflection. “Do you have a gassy goblin in your guild? Maybe your uncle eats too much spicy food or maybe your IBS comes with an odorous stench the likes of which could kill flowers, deplete what’s left of the ozone layer, or peel the paint off an aeros! If so, you need Gassy Assy Boom Time Bum Defuser from Johnson & Pfizor! Get your dignity back, and stop scaring away the locals! Eat whatever you’d like and avoid the consequences! And for the next twenty-four hours only, mention #FeeTwixRox at checkout to get a packet of equally useful Shart Brand Backfire Diapers. Terms and conditions apply. See web store for details.”