CONSULTANT IN CRISIS

by Alison Roberts

  ‘Are you all right?’ Hands were pulling her upright.

  ‘I’m fine. Go with Lisa, Fletch.’

  But he didn’t move for the moment. The Stokes basket was being lifted and dragged through the hole in the pharmacy wall. Kelly rubbed her elbow and looked to see whether it had been something sharp she had landed on. Her headlamp illuminated the section of shelving her fall had displaced. There were combs and curlers and hair ties in a heap. And just underneath the edge of the shelf she could see something else.

  ‘Come on, Kelly. Let’s get out of here.’

  ‘No—wait!’ Kelly stared at the pile. ‘That’s a push-chair handle.’ She fell back to her knees and began pulling debris towards her. She climbed over the top and tried to lift the shelf. It was too heavy.

  ‘Help me, Fletch,’ Kelly cried desperately. ‘Lisa’s children were in a pushchair.’

  Fletch was beside her now. He stepped sideways, stumbled, cursed and then pulled himself upright again. He leaned down and pushed what looked like a metal beam that was pinning the shelf at an angle. There was a grating sound and Kelly felt the shelf move.

  ‘It is a pushchair. Quick, Fletch!’

  Together, they pushed harder. The shelving unit tipped and then fell with a crash.

  ‘What’s going on?’ someone yelled behind them.

  Neither Fletch nor Kelly responded. The pushchair had been covered with debris and the hood had been pushed down onto the occupants. They only needed to remove a little of the weight and lift the canvas hood to see that their task was hopeless.

  Two little girls. One was only a baby, a few months old. The children were unmarked. Probably uninjured. They had been smothered by the canvas hood and the weight of debris. They were both dead.

  ‘Oh, God!’ Kelly put her hands over her face, unable to turn away and take the spotlight of her head-lamp away from the tiny faces. She didn’t need to wait for Fletch to check for any signs of life. It was all too obvious that there were none to be found.

  Kelly couldn’t move. Lisa had been her own age or maybe even younger. If she and Fletch had stayed together they might have had a baby by now—even a toddler. They might have looked like these children. The dream of a family had been as alive as her love for Fletch had been once. As alive as these little girls had been only hours ago. Her own dream had been dead for a long time but two other parents had just lost their family and dreams for the future. Kelly was unaware she was crying until she felt Fletch’s hands on her shoulders and her slow tears became sobs. She let him pull her away. Did he intend to pull her into a rough hug or had she initiated it? Kelly felt him hold her in his arms—just for the length of time it took another rescuer to climb towards them.

  ‘What the—?’ The rescuer saw what they had uncovered. ‘Oh, jeez.’ He cleared his throat. ‘Your squad leader—Dave, is it? He’s looking for you guys. You’re being stood down for a break now. You didn’t answer your radio call.’

  ‘No.’ Fletch nodded briskly as he let Kelly go. He hadn’t intended to hold her like that. When he’d seen her frozen by the horror of their discovery he’d put his hands on her shoulders simply to move her away from the sight. It had been the sound of her first sob that had been his undoing.

  The sound had cut him even more deeply than the tragedy they were standing beside. Kelly’s pain had become his pain and the desperate need to provide comfort had been totally overwhelming. It was just as well the time to register the impact of trying to hold Kelly’s distress in check had been so brief. Her grief might have sparked and then melded with the even deeper grief that Fletch kept so well buried. It had been close. Way too close. Fletch had to blink away threatened tears of his own.

  ‘We’ll head out now.’ His voice was muffled enough by the dust mask to disguise the way it cracked. ‘Can you deal with this?’

  The acknowledgement was another determinedly brisk nod. A hand-held radio was near the man’s mouth. ‘We have two patients—status zero—in here. No, we can get them out without stretchers.’ He had to clear his throat again. ‘They’re…they’re just babies.’

  Dave was waiting for them near the entrance to the mall. There was no sign of the other team members.

  ‘They’re stood down. You have a four-hour break. Well done, both of you.’

  Kelly didn’t say anything. It didn’t feel like they had done well. There were two status zero children coming out behind them. They would be carried past very soon probably, and Kelly didn’t want to wait long enough to see that.

  ‘Where do we go?’ she asked Dave. ‘To that church hall?’

  ‘Yes. Tony’s over by the bus. He’ll show you where it is. There should be a hot meal ready for you by now.’

  ‘What I need,’ Fletch said heavily, ‘is a drink.’

  ‘Sorry, mate. It won’t be anything stronger than a coffee for a while yet.’

  Kelly didn’t wait to hear any disappointed response from Fletch. How could he even think about having a drink at a time like this? Maybe he did really ‘need’ one. Kelly pushed her exhausted body through the crowd milling around in the car park. She knew that Fletch was following her but she didn’t want to acknowledge his company. Her reserves felt suddenly non-existent.

  Tony wasn’t able to give them directions immediately. A television news crew had reached him just before Kelly did.

  ‘Where are you guys from?’ he was asked.

  ‘USAR.’

  ‘What’s that?’

  ‘Urban Search and Rescue. We’re a task force that can be deployed anywhere in the country to structural collapse or any other long-duration special incidents.’

  ‘Cool!’ A nod led to a spotlight coming on and a camera being focused on Tony. ‘Mind if we get this on tape?’

  ‘Sure.’

  Kelly sighed inwardly. Maybe she should go and sit inside the bus for a few minutes to rest—but when she looked up she saw Jessica sitting in the vehicle. She looked pale and exhausted and had her eyes closed. Maybe she felt in as much need as Kelly did for a bit of personal space to try and deal with this experience. What dreadful things had Jessica seen on her hours of active duty? Kelly could only hope she hadn’t had to find any children. It had been bad enough for her. Imagine how much more traumatic it would be for a single mother whose life was centred on her child. Kelly couldn’t tell Jessica anything about her own experience and it was too much on her mind to think of anything else, so it might be better to avoid her company for a little while.

  ‘New Zealand was part of the International Search and Rescue Advisory group that was formed in 1991 by the United Nations,’ Tony was telling the news crew.

  Kelly had already heard the historical background of USAR. She pulled off her helmet and turned it upside down to carry her dust mask and goggles. She was too tired to feel hungry any more. Or was it just that she couldn’t get the image of those children out of her mind?

  ‘Since then we’ve learned a lot from incidents such as the Oklahoma bombing, the Threadbo landslide and that earthquake in Italy that buried the school. Experiences like that have led to ongoing, updated operational procedures that are part of the international SAR response system.’

  Fletch was standing beside Kelly but he wasn’t listening to Tony either. ‘Where’s Sutherland Street?’

  ‘I’m not sure. I think it’s a dead-end street on the south side.’

  ‘How long do you expect to be working here?’ The interviewer sounded eager for more relevant information on the current disaster.

  ‘As long as it takes to locate everybody. Alive or dead.’

  ‘How many victims are known to be buried?’

  ‘We don’t have anything more than rough estimates.’

  ‘How many people have been found alive so far?’

  ‘Quite a few. Up to about twenty now, I believe.’

  ‘How many have been found dead?’

  ‘That’s not information I could give you even if I had it.’ Tony was winding up his interview. ‘You�
�ll have to get the press releases from the incident command centre like everyone else. Excuse me. We have a job to get on with here.’

  Kelly watched in dismay as the camera moved and swung towards her. She didn’t want to be questioned. She needed to forget about what she had just encountered—at least for a while. If she didn’t, how could she prepare herself to go back inside?

  ‘Come with me.’ Fletch’s calm voice was right behind her ear. ‘I’ve found where to go. We can get a shower and some food and maybe a couple of hours’ sleep.’

  Gratefully, Kelly turned and followed Fletch. Tony was right. They had a job to get on with here. And it wasn’t over yet.

  Not by a long shot.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  THE church hall was crowded. Community organisations had rallied to support the emergency services working in their area. Mattresses and pillows had been provided. Bathroom facilities were available and a small kitchen was pushed to maximum capacity as hot drinks and meals were being provided.

  ‘Four hours isn’t very long,’ Joe warned Kelly, having spotted her waiting in the queue for a meal. ‘Make the most of it. Our team is due back in soon.’

  ‘But you went in almost the same time we did.’

  ‘We came out a lot earlier. You were in there for nearly seven hours.’

  ‘Really?’ Kelly was astonished. ‘I knew I’d lost track of the time but I had no idea we were that long.’

  ‘You did a great job, from what I’ve heard.’ Joe shook his head. ‘We located eight people in our sector. No survivors.’

  ‘Oh.’ Kelly thought about the two little girls in the pharmacy. ‘That’s rough. No wonder Jessica didn’t look too happy. I saw her sitting by herself in the bus.’

  ‘She was OK until we pulled out the last two people. Then it all seemed to get too much for her suddenly. She went really pale and I thought she was going to throw up or faint or something.’

  ‘Maybe she shouldn’t go back in this time. Pamela went home before her team even got started.’

  ‘I tried suggesting that.’ Joe’s smile was rueful. ‘I nearly got my head bitten off. Tony had to force her to take a break at all. She was determined to carry on.’

  ‘Has she had something to eat?’

  ‘I don’t think so.’ Joe frowned. ‘Maybe I’ll take a sandwich back for her.’

  ‘That’s a good idea.’ Kelly’s appetite was making an effort to surface thanks to the smell of roast chicken wafting from the kitchen. She still wouldn’t have described herself as hungry, however. ‘What I really need is a shower,’ she told Joe. ‘I feel like that dust is ingrained in my skin. I hope my mother managed to get some clean clothes dropped off for me. I left her a message before our shift started.’

  The clothes were waiting in the care of a woman supervising the bathrooms.

  ‘Here’s a towel, love. And soap. There should be a shower free in a couple of minutes.’

  ‘Thanks.’ Kelly knew the effect would be somewhat negated by having to don the same overalls and there was no point in washing her hair right now, but at least she would be clean underneath and the hot water would be as refreshing as a short nap. It was. Having finished her clean-up, Kelly bypassed the mattresses in favour of stepping outside to sit by herself for a while. Now that her immediate physical needs had been taken care of, she wanted a chance to gather mental resources. Then she would be ready for whatever was coming next. She would be ready to go back inside the mall.

  Fishing her telephone from one the many pockets on the overalls, Kelly rang her mother as soon as she found a quiet spot with good reception.

  ‘Thanks so much for bringing my stuff in, Mum.’

  ‘Are you all right, darling? How’s it going? The bits I’ve seen on the news look simply dreadful.’

  ‘It is dreadful but it’s good to be here trying to help, instead of just watching it. I’ll tell you about it later.’ Kelly knew it might take a while to want to discuss any of this with someone who wasn’t as involved as she was.

  ‘Be careful.’

  ‘I will. How are you?’

  ‘Oh, I’m fine. Don’t you worry about me.’

  Kelly caught the note in her mother’s tone. ‘How was the meeting? Did you tell him?’

  ‘Not exactly.’ Her mother sounded reluctant now. ‘It was too hard once I saw him.’

  ‘I knew it wasn’t a good idea.’

  ‘I couldn’t do something like that in a letter or over the phone. I owe it to him, Kelly.’

  ‘You don’t owe him anything, Mum.’ Kelly frowned. She felt the heavy weight of all the years of her mother supporting the family, putting up with the kind of abuse her father was capable of giving out, and all the times when she’d refused to give up on someone she had loved enough to marry. The separation enforced by her father’s jail term had been the key for her mother to realise just what life had to offer. And she deserved to keep it. She couldn’t really be considering taking him back now that he was due for release. She couldn’t. ‘You’re not planning to see him again, are you, Mum?’

  ‘Yes, dear. I am.’

  Kelly groaned. Had she made all those phone calls, written all those letters, even given up her job to come home and support her mother during this time, only to watch her sucked back into the life she had finally escaped? ‘The more time you spend with him the more likely you are to change your mind.’

  ‘He’s changed, Kelly. He says he still loves me.’

  ‘Of course he loves you. That’s his problem, not yours.’

  ‘But he’s stopped drinking. He really has this time. It’s been years.’

  Kelly’s snort was dismissive. How many times had she heard those sincere declarations during her childhood and adolescence? ‘You can’t trust him, Mum. I don’t care what he says. You can’t trust any of them.’ Her voice had risen due to the level of despair Kelly was now feeling. She looked up to ensure that her conversation was still private.

  It wasn’t. Neil Fletcher was leaning against the back wall of the church. He held a mug of coffee in cupped hands and he was unashamedly eavesdropping.

  ‘I’ll have to go, Mum,’ Kelly said. She listened for a few seconds longer. ‘So be selfish for once in your life,’ she finished decisively. ‘You owe it to yourself.’

  Kelly met Fletch’s gaze as she slipped her phone back into the pocket. She didn’t expect him to apologise for listening in, not when he had never apologised for behaviour that was far less acceptable. But the words he uttered were even more unexpected than an apology.

  ‘You astound me, Kelly Drummond. You really do.’

  ‘Excuse me?’

  ‘You’re not content to wreck lives through your own relationships—you want other people to do the same thing.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘I heard you, talking to your mother. Trying to get her to dump someone.’

  ‘You have no idea what you heard. And it’s none of your business.’

  ‘Maybe it is. It explains a few things, anyway.’ Fletch sipped his coffee. ‘Funny, I never realised you were such a man-hater.’

  Kelly gaped at him. ‘What?’ The repetition carried even stronger tones of incredulity.

  ‘“You can’t trust any of them”,’ Fletch mimicked. ‘“You don’t owe him anything.” Never mind that he’s in love with her. That’s his problem, isn’t it? Not hers.’ Fletch tossed the remains of his coffee onto the nearby shrubbery. ‘You’re a cold-hearted and ruthless person, do you know that, Kelly? Quite frankly, I can’t understand how I could ever have fallen in love with you.’

  Kelly was shocked. Really shocked. She could feel that horrible pins and needles sensation again. He didn’t really believe that, did he? How could he believe that? Hadn’t he held in her in his arms while she tried to cope with the grief of finding those children? Would someone cold-hearted and ruthless have been so affected?

  ‘You’re certainly the best person to advise other people to be selfish,’ Fletch continued remorselessly.
‘You’re the expert in that field as well, aren’t you?’ His tone was disgusted. ‘You don’t really give a damn about anyone else.’ Fletch turned away but then he paused. ‘What made you come back, Kelly? Was it a planned move or just another spur-of-the-moment thing?’ He didn’t leave enough time for Kelly to respond even if she could have found any words. ‘Have you left some poor bloke in Melbourne wondering just what the hell he did that was so wrong?’

  ‘I…It’s…’ Kelly was shocked again. Not so much by the personal attack as by the raw strength of Fletch’s anger.

  ‘I wouldn’t worry about it too much if you did,’ Fletch said scathingly. He didn’t turn back this time. ‘He’ll probably come to the conclusion that you’ve done him a favour.’

  Like Fletch had done?

  Kelly stood by herself for a long time after being left alone. Fletch’s low opinion of her was humiliating. And unjustified. It wasn’t as if she’d even wanted to come back to Christchurch and her reasons for doing so had been far from selfish. She didn’t hate all men. And nobody had ever suggested she was cold-hearted. It was all so ironic. Kelly had come back for the same kind of reasons she had left in the first place: to protect someone from a life ruined by the misery that someone out of control could cause. The same kind of reasons that had made her flee her relationship with Neil Fletcher.

  Maybe it was time he knew the truth. The guilt by association Kelly had been so ashamed of had left her past unknown to most people. Her upbringing and half her parentage had been something to bury and move on from. But maybe that desire had always been a pipe dream. Her mother was being sucked in again so what had made Kelly so confident that she could escape?