WEDNESDAY NIGHT I was restless. It had been two days since my little flirtatious bout with Ashton and if I thought she was avoiding me before, I was sure of it now. I only caught glimpses of her in the hall way, and in class, she pretended I was invisible. What bothered me the most was the fact that I was bothered by her aversion to me. I had never let girls get under my skin, if they played hard to get, I either didn’t care, or they eventually gave up the facade. But Ashton came off like she really didn’t care who I was.
I got up out of bed and paced my room like a caged animal. Here I was, three days into my senior year, being drove crazy by some girl I didn’t even know… this was not happening! I pulled on some jeans and a shirt and headed out to my truck. I needed a little distraction, something to take the edge off, so I hesitantly dialed the very familiar number and waited for her to answer.
“Hey Jaimie, want to go for a ride with me?”
I didn’t get home till nearly four in the morning. I regretted calling Jaimie the minute I pulled into our little meeting spot. I thought hooking up with her would help, but it didn’t, in fact it was the complete opposite. I wasn’t able to “perform” which has never happened to me before. I’m an eighteen year old guy for crying out loud, I am always ready. So when I pushed Jaimie off and told her it wasn’t going to happen, and that it was time to go; let’s just say she was a little less than thrilled. I drove around for a while trying to clear my head. I was thinking too much about things like my grades, and hockey, and my issues with my dad… and then there was Ashton. I felt better when I thought about her, it’s like everything else melted away when her beautiful face was in my mind.
NEXT DAY, in class, the teacher assigned us a worksheet and he told us to partner up. As everyone got up and paired off, Ashton just stayed in her seat. I pulled a desk over close to hers and sat down before anyone else even thought about trying it. She looked up from her notebook where she had her head buried.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m your partner.”
She shook her head no. “That’s okay I prefer to work alone.”
“Sorry no can do, teacher’s orders, and look everyone else already has a partner, so looks like you’re stuck with me.” She looked around the room at everyone who had already started working. She looked really uncomfortable as she fidgeted in her seat. “I promise we will get a good grade, I have the third highest GPA in our class.” I heard her mumble something under her breath. “What was that? I didn’t hear you.”
She shot me a glare as she sat up taller in her seat. “I said there he goes bragging about how wonderful he is again.”
My mouth dropped open, I was shocked. I guess I had come on as being a little full of myself, but most girls loved that about me. She wasn’t like most girls.
“You’re right, I’m sorry. Look, let’s just finish this so you can be rid of me. Sound good?” She nodded and we began to fill out the worksheet together. This girl really knew how to deflate a guy’s ego. She called my bullshit like she saw it and, to be honest, I needed someone like that in my life. Everyone else always just went along with me and did what I said. Not her. She was somebody that might be able turn me from the dickhead I had become into someone better, and I longed to be better, I just didn’t know how to do it.
I HAD been at my new school for two weeks and was the happiest I had ever been. I was getting into the flow of things and hadn’t had any more strange run-ins with the hockey god, except the occasional flirty wink from him in the hallways when we passed one another or us saying hello in the morning by our lockers. I felt relieved but also at the same time a little disappointed. He was exactly the person I pegged him for. Tess and I had actually become fast friends just like she had predicted. She was so quirky, funny and outgoing; I needed someone like that in my life to pull me out of my shell. There was also Noah, we had gotten along great since we first met. He was easy to be around and I found myself wanting to spend time with both of them on a daily basis, whether it was doing homework together, or just hanging out and grabbing something to eat.
I had seen that volleyball team tryouts were open after school today and I was excited. I hoped I was good enough to make the team, I had never actually played on any high school teams of any kind before but I enjoyed volleyball and considered myself pretty athletic.
Once we got started, the tryouts were fairly simple; warm up drills and also some digging practice. I was glad I wouldn’t be completely lost. We were lined up behind one another attempting digs, so I had to bend over and get low to the ground. I had a pair of cotton shorts on and a t-shirt. Nothing too revealing, but when I bent down into position, loud whistles and hollers came from the bleachers, behind me. I immediately straightened and turned around facing in the direction of the whistles. The bleachers held a few students that had come to watch the tryouts. I scanned the bleachers for a knowing face but I didn’t see anyone I recognized. Just when I was about to turn back around to my original task at hand, there he was in all his beautifulness, looking as good as ever. He was surrounded by a couple of his teammates who were the source of the catcalls. Although, Charlie didn’t look like he had been whistling at my butt. His look was murderous; like he was ready to kill someone, namely me because his eyes bore into mine with such intensity, I had to look away. I turned back around and dug the ball that came to me. I could feel my face turning beat red, I had shagged the ball no problem but that look he gave me chilled me to the bone. I knew that look all too well and the fact that it seemed to be directed at me didn’t sit well with me at all. I ran to the opposite side and lined up to repeat the drill again. When I looked up at the bleachers this time Charlie was gone, and so was the rest of his teammates. I shook it off telling myself to concentrate on the rest of the tryout. What else could I do?
When we were all done coach said we all did great and that she would post the roster ASAP. I went into the locker room and got changed. I couldn’t shake Charlie, and the way he had been looking at me, from my mind. I didn’t like it. I didn’t want to like him or the way he made me feel. I didn’t want to feel anything.
I was so distracted by these thoughts that I hadn’t realized I was one of the last ones out of the locker room. The school was eerily silent as I headed out the gym doors in the direction of the dorms. When I turned the corner, I found Charlie leaning against a giant Chevy truck in the parking lot. His arms were crossed and he had a scowl on his face as he looked down at the ground. When he seen me approaching, he pushed off from the truck and took a couple steps toward me.
“Hey can I talk to you for a minute?” The moment the words came out of his mouth, I instantly got nervous.
“Um yeah sure what’s up?” He paused before beginning, like he didn’t really know how to start.
“I wanted to apologize for those guys in there if they distracted you during your try out. Believe me, when I tell you, it won’t happen again.”
What wouldn’t happen again? And why was he speaking to me so cryptically. “What do you mean?”
“I straightened them out, they won’t bother you like that again.” his face looked like it was carved from stone, it was set so hard. I took a deep breath feeling like this conversation was pointless.
“Listen, Charlie you really don’t have to say anything to them. It was not the first time I have been whistled at, it was pretty innocent. I can also take care of myself, have been doing it for a long time. I don’t need you to stand up for me okay?”
He looked at the ground and shook his head back and forth slowly and then let out a deep sigh that made his shoulders rise and fall.
“Is that all you wanted to talk to me about?” He just stood there staring and not saying anything else.
“Okay well I need to get going. See you around.”
I begin to step away when he reached out and grabbed my arm under my elbow. It wasn’t a hard grab but it made me instinctively flinch my arm away.
“Don’t!” It came out a lot louder tha
n I had intended and full of panic.
He raised both his hands in surrendering motion. “Whoa, what’s wrong? I’m not going to hurt you Ashton! I was just going to ask if I could give you a ride back to your dorm.” His eyes were on mine with a look full of concern and something else that resembled sympathy. I didn’t need his concern or sympathy.
“N-no, that’s okay.” I stuttered “I like to walk, I got to go.”
I begin to walk away as fast as my feet would carry me. Why did he have to grab me like that? Why did he have to see my mini freak out? He just stood there watching me walk away until I was completely out of sight. He must think I am crazy. My breathing was unsteady and felt like I could face plant on the road at any moment but I kept my pace. The second I was out of sight from him, I bent over putting my hands on my knees and breathed in and out deeply. SHIT! I was losing my shit! Get it together Ashton. Reign in the crazy… NOW!
SHE FLINCHED away from me….
That is the only thought that kept running through my head. Why was she afraid of me? I had never done anything to warrant any sort of fear from her. She came off so confident and sarcastic when I talked to her, like a little firecracker; it was one of the things that attracted me to her. But now that I think about it, as much as she seemed so confident and strong, there was also meekness to her. She put her head down a lot when she was talking and sometimes she barely spoke a word. She was a mystery; a mystery that I was dying to figure out. I was hungry to be near her, to see her. To just be in her presence felt like she was feeding me. Ever since I met her, on the first day of school, I had not felt like myself. I had not hooked up with anyone since the regrettable night with Jaime, when I had tried to push Ashton out of my head. I tried but it was not working. Then, when I went to watch volleyball tryouts and all my team mates were making comments about her and the things they wish they could do to her when she was bent over, I about freaked out and beat all there asses. Why did I care if they talked about her? It’s not like the exact same thoughts weren’t running through my own head. They should be able to go for her if they wanted, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to let anyone mess with her. She was fair game, but in my head, I had some sick claim on this girl that I hardly knew. I wanted to know her. I wanted to know everything about her. But she made that so damn difficult; it was like she didn’t want anyone to know her. Other than that guy I seen her sitting with I had seen her around with a little red head but no one else. For the first time in my life, this girl had me second-guessing myself. She was difficult for me to read, a real challenge. Was that the reason she had me so strung out? It had to be. I needed to chill out.
I went to hockey practice and skated extra hard running my team practically into the ground. I felt a little bad but I needed to get some of my frustrations out and I usually did that on the ice. When I got home, mom was nowhere to be found, which was odd. She was always home, with dinner waiting for me after I got out of practice. I walked up the stairs to my room and pushed the door open. What I found was not a welcoming sight. My father was waiting for me in my room sitting at my computer desk. I entered my room and eyed him. “What are you doing here? It’s not Thursday.”
My dad cleared his throat. “I needed to speak with you son.”
He never came to see me, except for our regular visit day on Thursdays. I knew something had to be up for him to come all the way here. “So talk” I said as I put my bag down, needing to get this over with as soon as possible.
“You have been distracted so far this year and I need to know what’s going on?”
“Nothing is going on, I am not distracted. You can leave now.” He was not going to get any information out of me.
He rose from the chair and put his hands in his dress slack pockets. “Charles, this is your last year before recruitment. You need to be focusing on grades, and the game that’s it! Do you understand?”
“Yeah I know I got it, like I said you can go, I will see you Thursday.”
“I know you’re up to something, do you think that I don’t call Coach and check in on your progress?”
I knew he called Coach and Coach loved my dad. Over the years he had donated a large sum to the hockey program and I am pretty sure he even bribed coach a couple times when my antics got a little out of control. If I was anyone else I probably would have been kicked off the team a long time ago.
“Dad my grades are perfect, and hockey is hockey. It is the same as it’s always been. I am putting my one hundred percent in just for you, so you will look good. Are we done?”
“Don’t lie to me, your mother was the one to call me and ask if I could talk to you. She is worried.”
My mother was even less keen on speaking to him then I was. I knew she would never call him. Even if she had thought something was going on with me, she would have talked to me herself. “Yeah, that’s bullshit dad. I know her better than that, so don’t try to play me”.
Glaring at me with taunting eyes, he began to walk towards my door to leave. “Call me when you have your head back in the game Charles. It’s time to grow up and think about your responsibilities; what’s best for this family and your future.”
“Unlike you, I am perfectly aware of my responsibilities to this so called ‘family’” I spit out. With that he strode from my room. I was instantly furious, I punched my wall causing the sheetrock to rip and break beneath my hand. It felt good but not good enough, now I had a fist size hole in my wall. The man made me absolutely insane. I heard his car pull away from the street and let out a breath I hadn’t realized I had been holding. I was so caught up in my thoughts of Ashton, I didn’t even see his damn car. I needed to get out of the house and clear my head. I felt like I was going to explode. I text Zach.
Me: Bro lets go play some pool tonight I need to blow off some steam.
Zach: I’m down come pick me up in fifteen.
“PLEEEAAASE ASHTON, let’s get out of these dorms. I am going crazy cooped up in here” Tess whined from her bed where she sat with a frown on her face.
I shook my head; I was perfectly content staying in. I was just about to tell her to give up the sob act when my phone rang. I picked it up and glanced at the name that flashed on the screen.
“Hi Dee” I answered happily. Between my school-work and all the things she took on at the café, we didn’t get to talk on the phone much, so each time was special to me. Going from seeing her every day to not seeing her at all was one of the hardest things about this whole thing so far.
“Hey sweetie, how’s things going?”
“Good… really good actually. Just studying right now. How are things there?” She hesitated before answering me and I always knew that was a bad sign. Dee was a straight shooter so anything that made her take pause couldn’t be good.
“Ashton I am afraid I am not calling with the best of news, your parents have been on the rampage looking for you. They are convinced that you are still in town somewhere and that someone is hiding you, namely me. They been beating down everyone’s door looking for you; it’s getting a little out of hand.” Wow, I knew they would be upset about me leaving, but I never imagined they would go to such extremes as to knocking on people’s doors.
“I’m so sorry Dee, it’s my fault they are bothering you. Next time they come over, tell them you’re going to call the cops. Abe is on probation so that should scare him enough from coming around; he can’t drink in jail, that is usually all the motivation he needs to stay out of trouble.”
“Oh honey I’m not worried about Abe or Cassie, I can handle them just fine. I’m only worried that eventually they will find out where you went and come find you.” I was worried about that every day, I only had another three weeks until I turned eighteen, and then, I wouldn’t have to worry about them coming to get me ever again.
“Just until my birthday Dee, then I’m in the clear. Besides, I bet they give up looking for me soon. We both know they aren’t the most dedicated people.” I said reassuringly. They would eventually
lose interest and give up. They had to.
“Okay sweetie. Just be careful, alright? If I hear anything else, I will let you know. I’m sorry to call with such upsetting news.”
“No, I’m glad you called. Thank you for the heads up.” I had forgotten about Tess; she had been sitting there watching and listening to my whole conversation.
“I love you Ashton. You keep doing what you’re doing, I’m so proud of you.”
“Thanks Dee. I will try and call soon, okay? I miss you.”
“Sounds good sweetie. Buh-Bye.”
I ended the call and looked up at Tess. Her eyes were wide and she had a look of sympathy, almost the same exact look Charlie had given me. I had never filled her in on any of my past life, just vague details anytime it had come up and I wasn’t about to divulge into any of it now so I changed the subject.
“Alright Tess, you win, let’s go out and have some fun.” The look was wiped off her face in an instant as she jumped up clapping her hands together enthusiastically.
“Yes! Thank you!” She was at her closet the next minute, perusing her outfit options.
“Hey Tess”
“Hmm?”
“I don’t have anything to wear” I said sheepishly. Her grin grew wide.
“Oh don’t worry about that, I’m already all over it.”
BY THE time Tess was done playing Barbie doll with me, it was already ten thirty. I was dolled up as much as I would allow. She dressed me in dark skinny jeans, a shimmery silver and black top that fell off one shoulder, and she did my makeup like a professional artist. I had to admit I looked hot. Not like myself at all, but maybe, just for tonight, that was okay.
Getting Out Page 4