We jumped in my old, beater car and headed out of town to a pool hall that we had heard was supposedly all the rage because they were pretty lenient on underage drinking. I was not going to drink so I could drive us home and keep an eye on my roommate who was way too eager to be out.
“Thanks again for coming out, I promise we will have fun.” She yelled over the music she had turned up in my car, I just nodded. When we pulled into the place it looked like a typical dive. Tess was practically gyrating in her seat. I unbuckled my seatbelt and took a calming breath.
“Okay let’s get this over with.” As I followed Tess to the door, my eyes landed on a familiar beefed up Chevy truck. I stopped dead in my tracks.
“You have got to be freaking kidding me.” Tess came back, looking in the direction I was gaping at.
“Oh this night just got so much better!!” She said with a giggle as she grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the entrance.
As soon as we entered the darkened spot, humid air mixed with the smell of cigarette smoke, hit our faces. The smell was so disturbingly familiar that I almost felt nauseous. I hated bars and all that came with them. I had to go into our local watering hole and pick up my parents way too many times. The scene was causing so many bad memories to surface, I struggled to keep them at bay. Tess scanned the room before she pulled me towards a small corner table and we sat down. A waitress came over right away.
“What’ll it be ladies?” Tess asked for a sex on the beach and the waitress didn’t bat an eye.
“Just a coke for me”. Tess snorted.
“A coke? Oh hell no. She will have the same as me, thanks.” With that the waitress quickly turned and walked away.
“Tess I don’t drink, plus I’m driving us.” She looked blankly at me through her expensive rimmed classes.
“Ashton you’re having a drink with me and you’re going to have fun, for crying out loud. You’re seventeen, soon to be eighteen, will you start acting like it and live a little.” If she only knew how old I felt on the inside.
The waitress came back placing two orange drinks in front of us. Tess immediately took a giant gulp, almost draining the entire glass.
“OMG that’s so good. Try yours.” I glanced at the fruity concoction in front of me. Picking it up, I brought it up to my nose. It didn’t smell bad; it actually smelled sweet. Throwing caution to the wind, I took a small sip, giving it a try, she was right it was pretty tasty.
“See? Good right?” I nodded.
“So now that we have our drinks, let’s go find Charlie so you can get some of that.”
“What?? Tess no. Let’s just stay here.” I pleaded, but before I could finish my sentence, she was up from the table leaving me staring at her disappearing back.
So I sat there, glued to my seat, and waited for her to return. I finished about half of my drink and was starting to feel warm and fuzzy. Tess still hadn’t come back yet. Just when I began to relax I felt a small tap on my shoulder. I swiveled in my chair to tell whoever it was to back the hell up and there he stood looking down at me.
“You startled me.” I said turning back around.
“Yeah, I seem to have that effect on you. A lot.” He had no idea that the effect he had on me went far beyond startling. I continued speaking, though I was still facing away from him.“I’m sorry for earlier. I just don’t like to be grabbed like that.” He didn’t say anything and I was instantly uncomfortable.
He walked around the table to the other side, to sit in front of me. As he sat down, his legs were so long that our knees touched under the small table. I am pretty sure he was doing it on purpose. I think my drink was giving me courage because I didn’t move, just let his knee graze against mine. He leaned in closer to me, putting his forearms on the table, speaking over the music that had started to play from an oversized jukebox on the other side of us.
“What are you doing here anyway? I thought dorm kids weren’t allowed to go this far out of town?” After he said this, his knee started moving mine back and forth playfully and he was giving me that melt in a puddle smile of his.
I shrugged. “My roommate was hell bent on coming out tonight. She dragged me here against my will. We heard this place was the place to be so, here we are.”
He nodded slowly and looked down at my drink that was almost gone. “How many of those have you had?” He asked gesturing at my cup with his bottle of beer.
“Just this one. I’m driving” He nodded again bringing the bottle to his lips and taking a drink. For the life of me I couldn’t make my eyes look away from his mouth. Luckily, the waitress came by the table and broke me from my trance. She asked if either of us needed anything else, we both said no. He was still nudging my knee with his, back and forth gently, but wasn’t saying anything. I started to feel self-conscious.
“You look different tonight.” He stated as his eyes scanned over Tess’s handy work.
“Yeah I let Tess dress me up tonight. Otherwise I would have been in just my usual jeans and t- shirt. She would have been embarrassed to be seen with me. I am not exactly the girly girl type, if you haven’t noticed.”
“I noticed.” That’s all he said. The conversation was confusing me. Was he trying to give me a compliment or was he saying he didn’t like the way I looked? Ugh why do I care what he thinks?
“Well I guess I better get up. I need to try to find Tess. She will get into trouble if I leave her alone for too long.”
He let out a small laugh and pointed to the pool table across the room. “She is playing pool with my buddy Zach, she is fine.” I glanced in the direction he pointed and sure enough Tess was bent over the pool table, while a very flirty Zach pressed into her back demonstrating how to make a shot. She appeared to be having fun so I didn’t see the need to disturb her.
“I see” I said shaking my head, wishing I hadn’t let her talk me into coming here.
“You want to play a game with me?” I sat there like an idiot, just eyeing him “Pool I mean” his eyes gleaming with that sexy look as he gestured toward an empty table. I shook my head no.
“I’m not very good, so you would kick my ass and I don’t enjoy losing.” I downed the rest of my drink never taking my eyes off of his. He rubbed the back of his neck and leaned back in his seat.
“Guess we have something in common. I hate to lose no matter what the game is.” I swallowed a lump that had formed in my throat, wishing I had something else to drink. The way our conversation was going was making my head spin, or maybe it was the drink, either way I felt like I was falling down the rabbit hole. The guy had a natural skill of taking the most casual conversation and somehow turning it into something that made my stomach flutter like there were millions of butterflies inside of me and they were all at war with one another.
“You feel like getting out of here for a little while? We can come back for those two” he said, motioning towards Zach and Tess.
As I looked at those green eyes, I told myself I really shouldn’t go anywhere with him, it was a bad idea. But I couldn’t help it, the words spilled from my mouth before I could change my mind. “Yeah, sounds good” with that we rose to our feet and headed for the exit. He placed his hand on the small of my back softly nudging me towards the door. My pulse was already racing.
The cool night air hit me as we exited and I took a deep breath in. It felt so good to breathe fresh air compared to the stale air inside. I glanced up at Charlie; he was focused on me and just staring. I looked back at the door and then back at him stopping.
“So…should we walk or…” that seemed to snap him out of his trance.
“Um…Yeah, let’s take a walk.” He pushed his hands in his front jean pockets and began to stride away with those long legs of his. We were both silent walking side by side for a little while, then he spoke.
“So that guy I see you with sometimes, what’s up with you two?”
“A guy?”
“Yeah, the one with black hair that follows you around.” I frowne
d at the last part; he had to be speaking of Noah.
“Must be Noah, we both live at the dorms.” He nodded and looked expectantly at me like I was supposed to continue.
“Oh right, we are just friends. He was the first person I met here, actually, the day I moved in.”
He nodded and a small crooked grin appeared on his face. “So you’re single? There isn’t a guy back home or anything?”
I smiled shaking my head. “Definitely no guy back home. I am as single as they come.”
“Good, although I don’t see how that’s possible.” Shrugging my shoulders again, “easy, I hate people.” He laughed and I smiled as we turned a corner, the pool hall vanishing from sight behind us. We kept walking for a little while. The air was getting pretty chilly and I hadn’t thought to bring a jacket with me. I had my arms hugged to me tightly as we walked, but that didn’t stop me from shivering.
Charlie noticed and offered me his sweatshirt. “Here put this on.” As he was pulling it up over his head, his shirt underneath it rose a little, showing me just a peek of his abs. I suddenly wasn’t cold anymore.
“No really I’m fine,” pushing it back towards him. He dropped the hand holding the sweater to his side, looking at the ground, he released a heavy sigh.
“What?” I asked, his eyes focused on mine again.
“I don’t get you, I really don’t. You flinch when I barely touch you, and now you won’t even take my sweater when I offer, even though you’re freezing.” He paused before he continued like he was choosing his words carefully. “Listen, I don’t know what I did to you that makes you so offended by me but maybe you should fill me in”… I interrupted putting my hand up to silence him.
“You didn’t do anything, okay? It’s... it’s just me…I have issues with people grabbing me like you did, and I’m not used to people helping me out… this may sound like that old dumb line but it’s true…. it’s not you, it’s me.” I knew this walk was a bad idea, but had went against my better judgment. I suddenly felt so emotionally drained; I needed to get away fast. He was making my wall crumble, and I couldn’t allow that to happen.
“Ashton please just take the sweater” he said quietly. I didn’t have the strength to fight anymore. Plus the look on his face made me feel like the worst person in the world.
“Fine, give it here.” He helped me put it on over my head and I felt instantly warmer when it was on. It was way too big, but it was soft and smelled amazing. Charlie smelled amazing. I wanted to curl up in a ball and smell his sweater all night; it was oddly comforting. I nestled my nose into the neck, smelling it again.
Charlie chuckled and I looked up. “Sorry” I said, embarrassed he caught me enveloped in his sweatshirt scent trance. I told myself it must have been that drink that was making me act like a weirdo.
“Don’t be” winking one eye at me.
“So what about you? How many girlfriends do you have this week?” I asked changing the subject.
“Hey, I can’t help it if the ladies love me.” I rolled my eyes. “To answer your question, I don’t have any girlfriends.”
“Oh my bad, ‘girlfriend’ is probably the wrong word; booty call might be better, or how about sexual minions??”
He threw his head back and laughed hard. “Sexual minions? Like from the cartoon, right? That’s funny, I am so going to steal that from you.”
“I think the fact that you like it so much pretty much says it all.” I said sarcastically. He abruptly stopped walking his face no longer held amusement but was turning serious again.
“I don’t want a bunch of sexual minions anymore though, just one “minion” in particular holds my interest these days.” He said quietly.
“Well good luck with that” I began to walk away picking up the pace with every step trying to push the idea out of my head that he just might be talking about me. So what if he was? He was just being smooth, this was all a game to him and I would be damned if I was going to lose this one.
The walk back to the pool hall, we didn’t talk much. Charlie’s phone went off just as we were about to walk back inside. He glanced down at it and snickered lightly. “Looks like Zach and your roommate left together, a little while ago. She wants you to cover for her” he said smirking.
I sighed. “Well that’s my cue to head back.” I started taking his sweatshirt off but he softly touched my hand stopping me.
“Wear it home, I can get it from you later.” I nodded thankful for the warmth.
“Okay, thanks.”
He nodded, looking down at me with those amazing eyes of his. One man should not be this attractive, it should be against the law of nature or something. Everything he did turned me to absolute mush. I couldn’t look away from those eyes as they glistened from the flashing neon lights. He wasn’t moving away either. Finally, he stepped closer to me. I could feel his breath on my face as he looked down at me.
“Ashton.” He whispered. I was a complete statue; I couldn’t move a muscle, I was paralyzed under that look. He swallowed hard making all the muscles in his neck contract. Bringing his hand up, he gently clasped my jaw; I shuddered under his touch and closed my eyes. My breathing had increased as my heart began to thud in my chest like a drum.
“Please open your eyes?” It came out as the softest plead I had ever heard.
Could I do this? I didn’t know. I was battling inside it felt so wrong, but so right at the same time. My head was screaming to run away, and then another voice said to chill out and just breathe. I slowly lifted my face to his and opened my eyes. Charlie stroked his thumb across my cheek once.
“I really want to kiss you.” All the while his eyes darted from my eyes to my mouth.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea Charlie” I whispered.
“Tell me you don’t want me to.”
When I didn’t protest his mouth covered mine. Still holding my face with one hand he brought his other arm around me and pulled my body flush against his. I placed my hands on his shoulders. I felt like I was all over the place, my emotions running ramped. He kissed me like I had never been kissed before, full of passion and angst and I let him. I gave into him fully allowing myself to kiss him back with just as much ferocity. His kisses were absolutely mind blowing. My legs felt like jelly. When his tongue entered my mouth, my whole body ignited, and I swear I saw the night sky light up with the most beautiful fireworks, even though my eyes were closed tightly. I am not sure how long we kissed. It could have been hours and at the same time it ended too quickly. When we pulled apart, we both were panting, both holding each other in the exact same way we had started, not wanting to let go.
“Wow.” He said in between breaths.
“Charlie” I said quietly, as he looked down at me. “I have to go.” He kept holding me, breathing in and out, trying to gain composure. He rested his forehead against mine, acting like he wasn’t ready to let our moment go just yet.
“Okay.” He reluctantly let his hands fall and raised his head. Completely flustered, I dashed to my car and got the hell out of there, cursing myself for not being strong enough to avoid that situation. Charlie definitely won that round.
THE NEXT morning, I was just stepping out of the shower when Tessa decided to finally grace me with her presence. Last time I ever go out with her again, I thought to myself. We were there for ten minutes before she up and ditched me and I didn’t see her again for the remainder of the night.
She looked like she had a rough night. Her clothes were all wrinkled and make-up smeared. Her red hair was usually all done to stylist perfection but right now it looked like a family of rats had inhabited it. I stood there wrapped in my towel for a moment and then I let her have it.
“After all of your begging last night, I finally give in and go out with you and you ditch me first thing! And you left me alone with Charlie” She interrupted me with matched attitude.
“Oh shut it Ashton, I did you a favor. Don’t stand here and bitch at me. Zach sent a text to Charlie,
telling him we were leaving. You were still off with him, alone somewhere.” She had me there, and she knew it. Her lips curved up slightly as she looked at me. “So get to spilling, I have got to hear all the dirty details about Charlie Ingram.”
“I am not telling you anything.” I said laughing.
“I knew it! You are such a little closet tramp.” She said as she threw a pillow at me. I caught it and threw it back at her.
“Oh yeah? Would a closet tramp still be a virgin?” Tess gasped and clasped the pillow in her hands.
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, it’s not like I never had the opportunity, I just never liked a guy enough…you know?” She started getting undressed and ready for a shower of her own as we talked.
“Well that changes everything.”
“How so?” I asked curiously.
“You can’t lose your virginity to a guy like Charlie Ingram. A guy like him has...expectations. I’m sorry I was pushing you towards him so hard, we will find you someone else.”
“Look Tess, this might come as a shock to you, but I didn’t come here to lose anything to Charlie or any other guy for that matter, I came here to get away from where I was; it wasn’t a good situation”... I trailed off and started getting dressed.
Tess was quiet for a long moment then out of the blue she said something that nobody had ever said to me before. “I’m so glad I met you.” I looked at her nodding my head. “Me too.”
She was the first girl that I had ever considered a friend, besides Dee. I didn’t tell her about kissing Charlie. She would blow it all out of proportion and I still didn’t even know how I felt about it, or what it all meant. I decided to change the subject for now.
“So tell me, how did things go with Zach?”
“Oh that, I would tell you but it would be too much for your little, virgin ears.” She giggled.
Getting Out Page 5