Getting Out

by Afton Brinkman

  She laughed as she watched me frantically run around the room. “We didn’t do much sleeping Charlie.” As she motioned to the nightstand where two opened condom wrappers sat. My heart fell to my stomach. I had fucked up royally and would lose the most important thing in my life because of it. How could I be so dumb? I never should have let Ashton leave without me. I didn’t want Jaimie, I wanted Ashton. Finally finding my shirt, I exited the room without giving Jaimie another second of my time. I was pissed and knew just who to take it out on. I marched up to Cam’s bedroom door and pounded on it. Shortly after, Cam opened it looking disheveled.

  “Damn Charlie, my head is pounding, knock that shit off.”

  “What the hell happened last night Cam? Why did I wake up with Jaimie in my room? He walked past me heading for the kitchen.

  “She showed up late and was asking where you were. I told her I would be more than happy to accommodate her but she was hell bent on finding you so I told her where you were passed out and that’s the last I saw of her.” I ran my hand over my face wishing this all was just a bad dream that I would soon wake up from.

  “Dude you know I have a girlfriend why would you do that?” He took a jug of orange juice out of the fridge, opened it and brought it to his lips. He chugged about half of it before answering

  “Look bro, Ashton is pretty and all but you know guys like me and you, we can’t be tied down to one girl. We have needs.”

  “You have no idea what you’re talking about, Ashton is all I need and all I want.”

  “Well I guess you should have thought with your big head and not your little one last night.” He said with a shit-eating grin on his face, like he was enjoying my pain.

  “I don’t remember much. I remember falling asleep alone and next thing I know, I wake up next to her in her god damn panties and there are condom wrappers on the nightstand. How could we have had sex twice and I don’t recall a minute of it?” I sat down at the kitchen island and put my head in my hands, hating myself more and more as each second passed. My cell phone chirped in my pocket and I pulled it out I found that Ashton had texted me, and more than once.

  Ash: Charlie did you make it home?

  Ash: Hey just wanted to check and make sure you were ok. I love you.

  Ash: Tess and I are going to a movie I was wondering if you felt like going. Text me when you get this.

  Ash: Charlie?

  I was scum, no I was lower than scum I was whatever grew on scum. Seeing her type the words ‘I love you’ hit my heart and I swear I could feel it cracking and breaking under my mistake.

  Speaking of my mistake, Jaimie entered the kitchen wearing only her underwear and a long t-shirt that I could only assume was one of Cams. “Good morning boys,” she said all bubbly, as she looked through the refrigerator, like she hadn’t just ruined my entire life. Cam came up behind her and pulled her against his crotch, making her squeal in delight. I felt sick, I had to get the hell out of here and away from these people. Without saying a word to either of them, I headed to the garage, jumped into my truck and sped off.

  IT WASN’T like Charlie to not answer me. I had felt unsure about leaving him at the party with Cam in the first place and now that he wasn’t answering my texts or calls, I had alarms going off in my head thinking the worst possible scenarios. Tess knew I was going a little crazy so she got me out of the dorms hoping that some shopping or a movie would get my mind of things, but it didn’t.

  “Two for the matinee please.” Tess bought us the tickets and we headed inside to grab some popcorn and candy. I was scanning the concession stand when my cell finally rang from my back pocket. Quickly getting it out and seeing it was Charlie, I answered right away.

  “Finally! Charlie you had me freaking out.”

  “I know, I am sorry baby. Coach had me come in early to go over some new plays he wants to try out and he just wanted to make sure I was comfortable running them.” I let out a breath of relief.

  “So what time did you make it home last night?”

  He cleared his throat and I heard noises on the other end. “Oh I uh… I am not sure what time, it was pretty late.”

  “Okay. Well Tess dragged me to a movie, that’s where we are now. I will call you when we are done and maybe we can spend some time together?”

  “Yeah sounds good, by the way, you know I love those tight little jeans you’re wearing right now.” I glanced around the theater and found him looking at me through the glass that separated the ticket booths and concession. I shook my head at him while he smiled at me.

  “You’re crazy you know that right?”

  “Crazy for you, yeah I know that.”

  “I love you, I will call you when we are done and you better answer me this time.” He made an x motion with his fingers over his heart.

  “I love you more and I swear to answer you beautiful girl.” Tess was pulling me in the opposite direction so I waved goodbye to Charlie as he sauntered away. He was being very affectionate. He usually was but even this was laying it on a little thick. Maybe he was just trying to make me feel better for not answering my calls. The movie was boring and it droned on forever, I couldn’t focus on it. All I wanted was to see Charlie. Luckily, I didn’t have to wait long, he was waiting outside of the theater for me when the movie ended.

  “Tess you can drive my car back to the dorms right?”

  She waved her hand at the two of us, “yes of course. Charlie please take her, she is becoming unbearable whenever you aren’t around I swear.”

  He threw his arm around my shoulders and kissed my temple. “Good thing I will always be around then huh?”

  UTTERLY CONTENT. Those are the only words that come to mind when thinking of how things have been lately. Noah and Charlie are able to be in the same room without killing each other and we hadn’t had any problems with Jaimie since the whole stolen necklace fiasco. My grades were tip-top and Charlie’s hockey season was the best one yet. They were a shoe-in for the state title. Everything was good.

  After school, Charlie took me to the ice cream shop where I got my sugar fix. I had become addicted to the small shop and all their goodies. We were on the road, driving back, when he brought up a topic we hadn’t really talked about. “So I was thinking next week we could go to Portland and go apartment hunting?” The topic of us moving in together was still so fresh in my mind and I hadn’t really gotten my head wrapped around the notion just yet. I loved Charlie, I wanted to be with him more than anything, but living together was a huge step and I just wasn’t sure if we were ready...if I was ready. He was already pulling into the parking lot of my dorm before I could answer him. Just when I opened my mouth, my eyes landed on a familiar rusted pickup truck that was parked, crookedly, in front of the office. I felt all the blood drain from my face and my heart rate spiked. Deep down I think I had always known that this day would come, that eventually I would have to face my past. I just didn’t know today would be it.

  “Ash, what’s wrong? You look like you have just seen a ghost.” Not a ghost but two living and breathing nightmares who were much scarier than any damn ghost. I turned to face Charlie and looked into his eyes, I had not told anybody about my parents. Tess knew a little from the conversations she had overheard when I spoke to Dee but other than that I had kept it all locked away where it belonged. If Charlie and I stayed together, I had planned on telling him everything…just not today.

  “My parents are here.” I got out of the truck and walked to the office doors in a haze. Charlie was speaking to me but his words sounded muffled like I was underwater. He always wondered why I never spoke of my parents or past life and now he would be getting a ringside seat to the event and would soon understand why I am the way I am.

  I pulled the doors open and slowly walked into the office, with Charlie following right behind me. The moment I heard my father’s raised voice, I shuddered. He was in Janice’s office and from the sound of it he was not happy….when was he ever? I turned and found Charlie’s co
ncerned green eyes. “Charlie this is going to be bad okay, just try not to freak out.”

  “Ash what’s going on? I don’t…”

  My father’s taunting voice interrupted Charlie’s question. “Well look who it is Cassie, our one and only daughter, in the flesh.” I turned and found my father standing a few feet away from me in the doorway of the office. He had his arms flexed at his sides and his gaze was set hard in a murderous glare directly on me. I wasn’t sure what to say so I just stood there and looked at the man I had run away from months ago. He still looked exactly the same way as I had left him, same ratty dirty clothes, same salt and pepper whiskers covering his face, and still the same look that used to have me running in the other direction. He wanted to hit me, it was obvious. Normally, when I pissed him off, he had me at home and could beat me until he felt satisfied but right now he was boiling over and couldn’t lay a hand on me in this environment and it was driving him insane.

  My mother came out from behind my father and just stood there, staring at me. “Ashton.” Her long blonde hair was in a messy braid and she looked like she had been wearing the same clothes for a week. Then she did something that was so uncharacteristic. She briskly walked the few steps that separated us, I instinctively put my hands up in defense to stop her, but she hugged me tightly to her and began to cry. My body was wound up so tight, she was hugging a statue, a cold numb statue.

  Janice and the Dean of Student were standing by watching the entire thing unfold. When my mother released me I stepped away from her until I felt Charlie’s body heat and his arm wrap around me pulling me back to my safety.

  Janice was the first to speak, “Ashton, we have some things to go over, it seems your parents never signed any of the papers for you to come here. They are saying you are a runaway and they demand that you go home with them this instant.”

  My father raised his arm and pointed a long finger in my direction. “You are coming home, now go and get your shit. I have had enough of this wild goose chase.”

  I turned and buried my head into Charlie’s chest. I couldn’t begin to imagine the things that were running through his head.

  The Dean spoke in a composed voice. “Now let’s all calm down and try to get to the bottom of this. Ashton, come into the office so we all can talk.” Charlie and I began to walk towards the office when my father put his arm out and stopped Charlie with his hand on his shoulder.

  “I don’t know who you are but this is family business and it doesn’t concern you boy.” My father was a mountain of a man, even with Charlie being over six feet tall, my father still towered over him by at least three or four inches. Even through all the mess, Charlie had remained as cool as a cucumber. He stuck his hand out and introduced himself to Abe.

  “My name is Charlie Ingram, I have been dating your daughter this school year sir.” Abe didn’t shake his hand, just glared down at him. My father was lightning fast so when he suddenly grabbed my arm and yanked me away from Charlie, causing me to grimace in pain, he surprised everyone.

  “What the hell? Don’t put your hands on her like that!” Charlie tried to get to me but my father wouldn’t allow him. He put his large body in between us and the next thing I knew I was pushed away from my father and my mother was pulling me out of the doors and calling me every name in the book. I struggled against her tiny frame but for being so small and unhealthy she was surprisingly strong.

  “Mom, stop, please.” I continued to try and pry her hands off of me as she shuffled us forward. I tried to look behind me but all I could see was my father’s enormous back. I needed to see Charlie. I was falling apart and not strong enough to fight this. And then Charlie called my name and that’s all it took. It was like my entire life flashed before my eyes, all the abuse, all the pain, and then every beautiful moment with Charlie. I wasn’t going to allow them to take this away from me. With all my strength I pushed against my mother and she stumbled backwards away from me.

  “I’m not going anywhere with you ever again!” I screamed at her and she immediately stopped trying to get me into the truck. I could see the Dean and my father, as well as Charlie. They were still inside and it looked like a brawl was about to go down. Janice was on the phone calling the police and all my fellow dorm students had begun to congregate all around us to watch the horror show. All I knew was that I needed to get to Charlie, I couldn’t allow Abe to hurt him. My mother had let go of me and had begun to sob loudly as she turned and got into my father’s truck, apparently giving up. I pulled the doors open just as my father barged out, bumping into me causing me to fall. He stopped and looked down at me before grabbing me around the collar of my shirt and pulling me to my feet. He held me so close to his face that he spit on me when he spoke.

  “I wish your mother would have listened to me when I told her to abort you. You’re nothing but a worthless little bitch.” His gruff voice rattled off the walls of the building and inside my head. While holding me with one strong arm he raised the other and struck me once against the side of the face and then threw me to the ground. I hit hard, momentarily seeing stars and I was in and out of consciousness. My father hastily got into his truck and drove away.

  I was still sprawled out on the concrete when Charlie came out of the building and knelt beside me. “Ashton, fuck you’re bleeding.” His breathing was heavy and his eyes were frantic as he scanned my body looking for further injury.

  Sitting up, I put my hand to my head. “I am fine.”

  He pulled me up and into his tight embrace. “Don’t worry the paramedics and cops are on their way. I am so sorry I didn’t protect you, Ashton I am so sorry. I tried, I swear I tried to get past him.”

  “I’m so sorry.” I was on the verge of tears and could barely get the words out.

  “You don’t have a thing to be sorry about. Those people are monsters.”

  The police showed up and we all had to answer a million questions. I gave them both their full names along with their address back home and the license plate on my dad’s truck, but I knew that they would never be caught. They would already be halfway back across the state where they belonged. I had to have seven stitches and be watched all night for signs of concussion. I was so embarrassed that it had happened in such a public way. It was all over the news and pretty much everyone at my dorm had witnessed it. I was ashamed and wasn’t sure how I was going to bounce back from it this time.

  AFTER THAT day with Ashton and her parents, something inside of me snapped. How could her parents do that to her? Had they always been that way? Seeing them and how they treated her that day, while there were people around, I couldn’t stomach the thought of how they had treated her behind closed doors. It was then that it all became so clear. She had been abused her whole life by these monsters. The reason she had all those scars, the reason she hated being caged in or grabbed or held down… it was all because of them. I felt anger burning inside my belly at the thought. Ashton was everything they were not, she was beautiful and kind and sweet and the fact that she had such horrible things happen to her by the people that were supposed to love her more than anyone else, it was just fucking sickening. Her dad had punched her, he had made her bleed, and the terrible fact of the matter was that it could have been so much worse. What if I hadn’t been with her? What if they had found her when she was all- alone? They could have taken her back with them against her will or…. worse. I felt so out of control because there was nothing I could do about it. Every day that I see her stitches and the purple bruising on her perfect face, I wanted to track down the fucker. But I wouldn’t do that, I would never leave her. I didn’t protect her that day because I was completely caught off guard, but now as she lay sleeping peacefully in my arms, I silently vowed to her and to myself that as long as I was breathing, I would never let anyone hurt her ever again.

  AFTER MY parent’s short visit, everything sort of fell into a jumbled mess. My face was busted black and blue and every day when I went to school, people whispered and talked abou
t me behind my back. There were so many rumors and different versions of the story flying around that I had to stop paying attention otherwise I was going to lose my mind. The only silver lining amongst all the mess was that I wasn’t being expelled for forging my documents. Janice and the Dean had heard my parents say that I had forged their signatures, but after seeing how they acted and Abe actually assaulting me the way he had, plus I was already eighteen, everyone involved figured kicking me out of school would be detrimental to my health and education. I was allowed to stay until graduation. Charlie was constantly treating me like a damn invalid, everyday fussing over me like I was going to die. I know he was just trying to be supportive but to be honest I just wanted him to act normal. The whole babying act was really starting to grate on my nerves. Dee had called and was so upset over the entire thing. She apologized that she didn’t know they had even left town and she didn’t know how they even found out where I was. As always, she was blaming herself. Why was everyone blaming themselves? It was no one’s fault except Cassie and Abe’s and someday, hopefully, I would get some sort of karmic retribution.

  We were all sitting in the lunchroom, talking about anything but that day. Zach and Charlie were talking hockey while Noah and Tess were arguing about something or another in typical Noah-Tess fashion. I was just kind of there, not participating in anything. My face hurt to eat so I was just pushing the food around on my plate.

  “I heard she used to be a huge slut in her hometown.”

  There was a small group of guys that played on the basketball team talking behind us and I couldn’t help but listen to them. I hoped that they weren’t talking about me, but the chances in that were slim.

  “Yeah I heard she even screwed her dad, that’s why he came here like that. I wonder if Charlie knows he is getting daddy’s sloppy seconds.” The entire group burst into laughter while the table I was sitting at had grown eerily silent. My eyes went from my plate of food to Charlie, who had gone rigid with his hands clenched on the table, looking like he was about to explode.