Getting Out

by Afton Brinkman

  “Are you going to live in the dorms? I figure that would be an easy transition since you have a year under your belt living in the dorms here. College dorms will be a little different but I am sure you already know that.”

  “I am going to be living off campus. My boyfriend and I already have a place lined up.”

  “I see.” She eyed me briefly, her lips curling up in a slight smile at my answer. She opened the drawer to her desk and rummaged through it before handling me a pamphlet.

  “The army?” I questioned.

  “They can help individuals who don’t really know what path they are on. I figured since you don’t really have a career path and you are very athletic, that it might be right up your alley. Have you considered it?” I shook my head. The army.

  “No, I haven’t considered it and not to be impolite but it’s not for me.” I attempted to hand the pamphlet back to her but she waved me off.

  “Keep it. There is a number for a recruiter on the back. He has come in and talked to the kids here, he is great.” I tucked the paper into my backpack just to appease her.

  “We about done then?” I didn’t mean for it to come out as snarky as it did but it didn’t seem to faze her.

  “Yeah we are done, let me know if you need anything.” And with that I excited her office already texting Charlie that I was done.

  THE NEXT day we were having a lazy afternoon cuddling on the couch. I was running my fingers through Charlie’s hair while he rested his head on my stomach.

  “Are we planning on getting up anytime today?” He shook his head lazily.

  “I am happy here.” He said while pushing my shirt up slightly and kissing my left hip bone then casually ran his tongue to my bellybutton making me involuntary shiver. I felt him smile against my skin.

  “I love it when I make you do that.” He pushed my shirt even higher and I batted his roaming hands away.

  “Stop trying to get me naked right here in your living room, your mom could walk in any minute.” Raising his head his green eyes glimmered with mischief.

  “I can’t help it, my girl is way too sexy.” Pushing himself higher along my body he found my lips and kissed them softly. I intensified our kiss wrapping my hands around the back of his neck pulling him into me. He pulled back with a big smile.

  “Now whose being bad?”

  I made a pouty face. “But, I can’t help it, my man is just way too sexy.” He laughed and placed a small chaste kiss on my forehead and then locked eyes with me.

  “I love you like crazy.”

  I nodded, kissing his cheek. “I love you too.” My phone ringing broke our little love spell. Grabbing it from the coffee table, I glanced at the caller ID and answered quickly, “Hi Dee.” Taking a phone call didn’t stop Charlie as he started kissing my neck.

  “Ashton, sweetie, I have something to tell you and I am not sure how you’re going to take it.” I raised up to a sitting position on the couch leaving Charlie looking at me skeptically.

  “What’s wrong Dee, are you okay?”

  “I am fine, it’s not me.” There was a long pause before she continued.

  “Ashton your parents were arrested. They are both in Jail.” I heard her words but I was not able to fully absorb them.

  “Ashton are you there?”

  “I’m here.”

  “After they found you, they made it all the way to Connecticut. Can you believe it? They were both arrested when they tried to rob a liquor store… Abe had a gun. They are both going to be in there for a long, long time.” I took a deep breath. Abe had been in and out of jail my whole life, my mother had spent a night or two mostly for drunk and disorderly, but nothing major.

  “They also found drugs on your mom and in their truck. I know this is hard on you sweetie, but maybe this is for the best.” I shook my head even though I knew she couldn’t see me.

  “What’s going to happen now? I mean, what about the house and all that kind of stuff?”

  “Well that’s partly why I am calling. Fred talked to the law enforcement here and if I understand things correctly, you can either claim the house for yourself or it will be sold.”

  The house had been in rough shape for years. I never made enough money for home repairs and my father was useless. I had done my best over the years but with them throwing parties and smoking, it was not in the best shape, not to mention all the terrible memories that the house itself held for me.

  “Ashton do you understand? They are going to be gone for a long time and your house is falling apart. If you don’t deal with it who will? Do you really want to sell it?”

  Charlie startled me when he put his arms around me. I felt immediately stronger just with that small connection. Dee had sprang this news on me and was now asking me all these questions I didn’t have the answers for just yet.

  “I might be able to come home after graduation but I can’t right now Dee, it would jeopardize this entire year and everything I have worked so hard for. Can we just board up the house until I can actually get back there? I hate that I am dumping all this on you, but I just can’t deal with it right now.” She let out a large sigh.

  “I know they were not good people Ashton but they are your parents, the only ones you will ever have, I am sure we can arrange for you to visit them at the jail and talk about the house with them. I just don’t want you to have any regrets when it comes to them.” I ran my hand over my face, it was getting hot in here and I was starting to sweat at just the thought of seeing either one of them again, even if a glass shield would be separating us.

  “I said goodbye to them months ago when I left Dee. And after their little stunt coming here and practically knocking me out in front of everyone, trust me when I say I have no want or need to say goodbye or anything else to them. Look, I got to go, thanks for calling me and letting me know. I will make some calls from here and see what I can get done.” And with that I pushed the end button on my phone. A small stab of guilt struck me for talking like that to Dee, she didn’t deserve it but right now I was not in control.

  “What happened babe?” Charlie asked in a soft voice.

  “They arrested my parents.” I said it numbly because that’s how I felt, numb.

  “Are you serious?” I got up from the couch and began to look for my things.

  “I need to make some calls and figure all this out, I will call you later okay?” I pulled my sweatshirt over my head and began to walk towards the front door.

  “I can drive you, Ashton let me help you, this is heavy stuff, I want to be here for you.”

  “I’m fine Charlie, really, they were nothing to me you know that.” I left him standing in the doorway with a shocked look as I walked away. My feet couldn’t move fast enough and soon I was running the cold wind blowing against my cheeks. My phone rang four separate times but I ignored it, not even looking to see who it was. I had always wondered how I would feel when this day finally came. When I would be rid of them. I didn’t feel a smidgen of sadness, I felt angry. They had already taken so much from me and even now they were a giant pain in the ass.

  “TESS WE need to find Ashton, her parents got arrested and for some reason she took the news pretty badly.”

  “Oh my god, are you kidding me? I was just up there with her the other day.”

  “No, she just found out and she bolted from my house and she isn’t answering her phone. That was two hours ago.”

  “I tried to call her earlier and she didn’t answer. This is bad Charlie.”

  “I know Tess, we have to find her.”

  “Okay, l am getting in my car and I will meet you at your place. Don’t worry Charlie, we will find her.”

  God I hoped so.

  I RAN aimlessly until my lungs felt like they would explode. I found myself on the outskirts of town, where I hadn’t been yet. The ground was wet and my feet and legs were soaked. I found a small park that sat near the water’s edge. Finding a bench, I sat down and looked out over the water. It was gettin
g to be evening and the sun was getting ready to set, soon it would be dark. I let out a breath, seeing it rise in the cold air. My phone rang, for the millionth time, with a familiar ringtone. Slowly, I raised it to my ear.

  “Charlie I need you.”

  “Baby you answered. Thank god! I have been losing my fucking mind, where are you?”

  I told him and he said he would be here soon. I sent a text to Tess, letting her know I was okay and turned my phone off. I was emotionally spent and couldn’t deal with anymore tonight. A little while later headlights appeared and Charlie jumped from his truck. He was the definition of my safe place, I rose from the bench and ran to his waiting arms.

  “I was so worried.” He said as she combed his hand over my head like I was a child.

  “I know, I’m sorry I ran again. I just needed a minute alone.”

  He ran his hand over my hair more and held me close. “It’s okay, it’s all going to be okay.” I clutched onto him and I let myself go. My legs buckled but Charlie caught me before I crumpled to the ground.

  “Let it out babe, I am right here just let it all out.”

  And so I did.

  I WASN’T really sure why Ash was taking this news so hard. Her parents were horrible to her, they always had been, so wouldn’t they being arrested be a good thing? Especially after they had come here and attacked her and tried to force her to go back with them. After I found her, I got her in my truck and turned the heat on high. She was wet and freezing. Once we got back to my house, I started her a hot shower and helped get her out of her wet clothes. I pulled the curtain and motioned for her to get in. She hesitated briefly before stepping under the spray. I put the lid down on the toilet and sat down. I wasn’t sure if she still needed time alone or if she wanted me around. It was always a guessing game for me what she really wanted and I knew that I needed to tread lightly.

  “You okay in there?” I asked softly. I heard her sniffle. She was crying again and it was tearing me apart. I took my clothes off and I joined her in the shower. There was nothing sexual about the situation, I just wanted to comfort her anyway I could. I held her in my arms as the warm water cascaded down on both of us.

  “You might feel better if we talk about it but we don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

  She raised her head from my chest and shook her head like she was trying to shake the thoughts away.

  “It’s so stupid, like I don’t even know what is wrong with me or why I am acting this way over the news. Believe me when I say I am not sad about them being in jail. They could rot in there for all I care.” I waited for her to continue and when her eyes fell from mine and looked down I urged for her to continue, just so I could understand.

  “If you’re not sad that they are in jail, then what is it?”

  “It’s everything, they can’t even go to jail without inconveniencing me. I thought that when I left, that I would have been rid of them, but they found me, then after that, I really thought I was done with them. But here we are again, they get arrested and I am the one everyone looks to, to clean up their mess. I am the one that is supposed to deal with the house or let it be sold. What am I supposed to do? Part of me wants to keep it, I mean, what eighteen year old has the opportunity to own their own house? But another part of me hates it and all the memories. I just want to say to ‘hell with it’ and sell it. I guess bottom line is that I really don’t know what I am going to do, but I need to figure it out.”

  I hugged her body tightly to me and tried to pour all of my love and support into her body through the contact.

  “You know I am here for you, we can figure it out together. You don’t have to always be so strong and take on the world alone Ash. I know in your past you always had to, but not anymore babe.”

  She fell asleep shortly after we got out of the shower and I was glad, she needed rest.

  A noise jolted me awake, I didn’t even realize I had dozed off right next to Ashton. Sleepily, I peered around my dark room, a sliver of light was coming from the bathroom and then I heard the noise again that had caused me to wake in the first place. Ashton was sick. I moved from the bed and pushed the door open slightly. She was on her knees in front of the toilet with her head resting on the side of it.

  “Ash, what’s wrong?” She groaned before slightly lifting her head to peek at me.

  “I must have gotten sick when I was out earlier.” She had one of her hair ties on her wrist, I slipped it off and tied her long hair back off of her face. I wet a wash cloth in the sink and put it on the back of her neck.

  “You better? Are you going to get sick again or can I try and take you back to bed?”

  “I don’t think there is anything left in my stomach for me to get sick. I just need to lay down.” I got her some water and helped her get back into bed. I held her in my arms and pulled the comforter over us.

  “You know, even when your puking your guts out your still my beautiful girl.” She sighed contently and soon I heard her soft sleeping noises. I lay there awake for a while, wondering if the news of her parents had made her sick. My girl was always so stressed. I hugged her to me tighter wishing I could take all her stress, pain and worry away.

  2 weeks later…

  GRADUATION WAS in three days. In three days we would all be high school graduates and on our way to starting our adult lives. It felt invigorating and at the same time a little bit scary. After finding out about my parents going to jail and my mini freak out, things had calmed down. Charlie had helped me contact a lawyer that was a great help with getting the house and everything all figured out. For the time being, I had decided not to sell it. Charlie said we could go up there this summer and he would help me fix it up. I could keep it or eventually sell it, the choice was up to me. The deed and everything was in the process of being transferred to me. My lawyer had told me that at first Abe had tried to contest it all but in the end there wasn’t much he could do about it. They both tried to reach out and requested for me to visit them and talk about everything but I had refused. Seeing them never amounted to anything good. Charlie and I drove to Portland last weekend to visit Tess and while we were there we stopped by to see our new apartment. It was like love at first sight. The location was perfect to where Charlie was going to be playing hockey and my commute to school was doable. It was small but we didn’t need much space. It had big windows that looked over the city and there were a couple restaurants right down the street where I could try and get a job. Everything was perfect.

  Charlie was driving to Portland again today, he had a meeting with his soon to be new team, so I wasn’t going to be able to see him until tomorrow. I met up with him at his truck to say goodbye.

  “What are your plans while I am gone?”

  “Nothing, probably just relax. I still feel like I am fighting that stomach bug, I am surprised I never got you sick.”

  “I never get sick babe, I am like Superman.”

  I pushed him gently away and laughed. “Whatever.”

  He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. “I will miss you.”

  I kissed him and sighed. “I will miss you too, but it is only over night, I think we will survive.”

  After saying goodbye to Charlie I walked back to the dorms. I headed straight into the computer lab wanting to check my email and see if I had any new messages from my lawyer. I was typing one out to Tessa when Noah walked in. He plopped down in the seat next to me and opened a bag of chips.

  “What’s up buttercup?” He asked with a mouthful.

  “Nothing, just checking my email real quick.” I turned and looked at him and the smell of his chips hit me like a brick wall. It was the most disgusting thing I have ever smelled in my life. My hand immediately covered my mouth as I shot up and looked for the closest trash can. Barely making it, I heaved the contents of my stomach into the trash.

  “Ashton, what the hell? Are you okay?”

  I braced my arms on the trash can and took a couple deep breaths. My stomach
was still rolling but it was manageable. “I will be fine, just please, get those chips away from me.”

  Noah looked from me to the chips in his hand and frowned. “Chips is what made you sick?”

  I nodded, “yeah they smell horrible.”

  He shook his head and put another handful into his mouth. “You are crazy, they are the bomb.”

  The next day my phone woke me from a heavy nap. I answered it still half asleep.

  “Hey chick how’s it going?” Tess’s bubbly voice rang in my ear as I threw the covers back over my head. “It’s going.” I said just wanting to go back to sleep.

  “What are you doing? You sound like you just woke up?”

  “That’s because I did.”

  “What? It’s three in the afternoon on a school day.”

  “I know, I stayed home sick today.”

  “Again? You’ve sure been sick a lot lately, are you still upset about your parents?”

  “No, I am not upset about them. I just can’t seem to shake this stomach bug, and all I want to do is sleep.” I said while yawning into the receiver. The other end of the phone was quiet for a moment before Tess spoke.

  “Ashton… I am just being a curious friend here so indulge me, when was your last period?” Her words hit me like a bucket of cold water. Finding the calendar on my phone I scanned it back to my last period. No it couldn’t be.

  “Tess I am so stupid.” I already felt the tears burning my eyes and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t be pregnant. I just couldn’t be. It would ruin everything, absolutely everything.

  “Okay calm down, don’t freak out until we know for sure. You need to take a test like... yesterday.”

  “Tess this can’t be happening.”

  “Ashton like I said don’t freak out. I am jumping in the car and driving to you right now, okay? I will be there soon.” We ended the call and I slumped down in my bed. I was on birth control this wasn’t supposed to happen. When Charlie and I were broken up, I hadn’t taken it regularly and now this was the consequences of that little slip up.