Michael
Page 8
“I don’t know,” Tristan looked down and traced the wood grain on the table with a finger. “Needing pain? I mean, what normal person likes pain? Or likes… what we did.”
“It sounds like you still have some matters to sort out on your own.” Michael offered. He took a long swallow of his cider, and it went down cool and crisp.
“I guess,” Tristan agreed. “Judith and I… we were wondering if we could try again.”
“I can ask around for another Dominant for you,” Michael said. “My sister is a professional Domme; I could put in a word for you. Maybe you’d do better with a female Dominant.”
“We were hoping you’d reconsider, and take us back,” Tristan said softly. “I know I was wrong.”
Michael turned to scan the traffic outside. It was after five; he was grateful he’d decided to take the bike that morning, because traffic was a nightmare.
Tristan’s offer was oh, so tempting. He couldn’t deny the attraction he felt to both of them, but he had to guard his heart. He couldn’t have another rejection like Monday.
“I don’t date,” he said softly. “I haven’t had a submissive – hadn’t even taken a casual play partner – in two years. I get too attached.”
Tristan nodded over Michael’s shoulder; the waitress placed their food down before them, and politely asked them if they’d like anything else, then left.
“Dominant/submissive relationships are intimate.” Michael continued. “I used to be one of those Doms that could just pick up a partner for a casual scene and then let them go after the appropriate amount of aftercare, but I can’t anymore. You see, I have needs too. I need connection. I need my subs to be one hundred percent open to me. To give me everything, and sometimes that involves sex. And aftercare; you could say aftercare is the biggest reason I’m in the lifestyle at all. I don’t want one-night-stands anymore; haven’t wanted it in years. You’re married, I’m sure you know what I’m talking about.”
“I’m not –”
“Gay,” Michael finished for Tristan. “I heard you. And it’s just another reason this can’t work. I’m bi, and you’re straight. I know. I don’t expect you to turn gay – or bi – any more than you can turn me straight. But your discomfort with this is just another reason this can’t work.
“Not to mention, you’re married; I’m attracted to both you and your wife, but I won’t be responsible for damaging your marriage. So, no.”
Tristan exhaled and stared at his food. “I can’t say I’m not disappointed,” he said, “but I understand.”
“Thank you,” Michael said.
Tristan grabbed Michael’s hand, surprizing him. “Could we please, at least, still be friends? Judith is beside herself with worry for you.”
“Friends,” Michael squeezed Tristan’s hand, then let go.
“So,” Tristan smiled. “You planning to watch the Stormers play the Sharks this weekend?”
Michael was grateful that Tristan steered the conversation away from the painful topic. “You follow Rugby?”
“Religiously,” Tristan said.
“Religiously, huh?” Michael smiled and bit into one of his wings. He’d have to get used to having Tristan as only a friend.
~*~
Judith took the pizza box from Tristan and headed for the coffee table in the lounge while he headed for their bedroom and she laid out two ciders, a handful of serviettes, along with the pizza box. Tristan returned from their room barefoot, bare-chested and wearing a pair of rugby shorts, then dropped down on the armchair on the other side of the coffee table.
“How’d it go?” She asked, reaching for a slice.
Tristan took his cider; he’d already eaten. “You’re right; he’s hurt. And I feel like even more of an ass.”
Judith lowered her slice. “What did he say?”
“He wants a relationship. And you’re right; he’s attracted to us both, but now he’s scared of getting hurt, so now he’s keeping us at arm’s length. This was never going to work.”
“Poor Michael,” Judith murmured. She took a bite and chewed slowly.
“It can’t work,” Tristan said, leaning back and resting his cider on his thigh. “He wants a full relationship. Including sex. We can’t give it to him.”
“We can’t?” Judith asked quietly.
“We’re married. And I’m not –”
“Gay, I know,” Judith sighed.
“You seem awfully ready to pimp me out to the doc,” Tristan groused.
“If I remember correctly, last weekend Michael respected all your hard limits regarding sex. He never once touched you below the belt, except for a few spanks, because you asked. The wheels came off when you freaked out and pushed him away. Would it have been so terrible to let him hold you? You had a blanket around you, for goodness’ sake.”
“And the sex?” Tristan asked. “How long do you think he’ll be satisfied with hand-holding?”
“What about the sex?” Judith asked, looking away.
Tristan stared at her. “You want to have sex with him?”
Shame rushed through her, leaving her light-headed. “Forget I mentioned it,” Judith muttered. She tossed her half-eaten slice of pizza in the box and fled for the kitchen, tears burning in her eyes, but Tristan was on her heels and grabbed her in a bear hug from behind, trapping her arms.
“Shh,” he murmured at her ear, rocking her gently. “Shh, please don’t cry. I’ve already ruined one friendship this week; I don’t want to ruin my marriage too.”
“I’m sorry,” Judith sobbed. “I’m sorry I hurt you. Forget I mentioned it.”
“I know,” Tristan hummed. He led her back to the couch, then sitting down himself, he pulled her into his lap and tucked her head in under his chin. “I’m not forgetting you mentioned it. Tell me why. I’m presuming you haven’t acted on this.”
“No, I’d never betray you like that. It’s just that… Monday night...”
“It was intense,” Tristan agreed.
“I was connected to you. And to Michael, even though he didn’t even touch me. It was like a circuit was completed. I felt close to him, but I also felt closer to you.”
Tristan was silent, digesting this and holding her. “You felt closer to me?”
“We experienced something powerful, last weekend,” Judith whispered. “Together. And we shared it with Michael. He went out of his way to see to both of our needs – can’t we also try to see to his? I know; you can’t give him sex. But I can, and without loving you any less.”
“You want to do this?” Tristan asked.
“I want to try,” Judith said. “But I don’t want to lose you.”
“You won’t stop thinking about this if we don’t,” Tristan said. “I’d rather explore this together, than leave you to wonder alone.”
“You know I love you, don’t you?” Judith pulled away to look him in the eye. “Inviting Michael in won’t change that.”
“I know,” Tristan touched his forehead to Judith’s. “So we approach him together?”
“Together,” Judith agreed. “Together, always.”
~*~
JUDITH: Hi! Are you available tomorrow evening?
22:02√√
JUDITH: CRAP! I’m so sorry – I didn’t realize it’s so late. I hope I didn’t wank you.
22:04√√
JADITH: WAKE YOU! Shit! How do I delete these things? Damn autocorrect.
22:05√√
TRISTAN: Don’t mind my wife. She’s a lightweight. Three ciders, and she’s blaming autocorrect.
22:08√√
JUDITH: I can’t believe you just accused me of being drunk, sir. I’ll have you know, I’m perfectly soldier.
22:12√√
JUDITH: SOBER! I meant sober!
22:13√√
TRISTAN: See what I mean?
22:14√√
+27 61 962 4567 left
Judith added +27 61 962 4567
JUDITH: Tristan! He’s awake! Ah-ah! You don�
��t get rid of us that easily, Michael. Come on, Michael – talk to us. Join the madness!
22:16√√
TRISTAN: No, Michael! Save yourself!
22:17√√
MICHAEL: Go to bed, you two! I’m on call, and I have an early morning tomorrow.
22:20√√
JUDITH: Yes, Sir
22:21√√
TRISTAN: Sorry, Sir.
22:21√√
~*~
Friday
ME: Hi, Michael! Being completely serious now, are you available tonight? Just to talk? Tristan and I have something we need to discuss with you.
11:22√√
MICHAEL: This won’t work.
11:33√√
ME: You haven’t heard what we have to say. Please – just hear us out?
11:35√√
ME: I’ll bring dessert.
11:35√√
MICHAEL: We’re not playing.
11:39√√
ME: No we’re not. We’re talking.
11:42√√
ME: And coffee. And dessert.
11:43√√
ME: Do you have a preference for dessert?
11:43√√
MICHAEL: Anything chocolate.
11:55√√
ME: I’ll see what I can find.
11:59√√
~*~
Chapter 8
Michael didn’t like being unprepared. He liked to control every possible variable around him. It bugged the hell out of him that he didn’t know exactly what dessert Judith was bringing with her. Would he need plates, or would he need bowls? Dessert spoons or cake forks? Probably cake forks. Would it be a hot pudding, or cold? Serve it with custard or whipped cream?
Not to mention – he had no idea what they wanted to talk about.
Well, he had an idea, but if it was what he was thinking, he’d have to find the strength to say ‘no’ again.
The intercom chirped, indicating that the front gate was opening. Michael flipped the switch on the coffeemaker and headed to the front door to greet them.
They were just ascending the steps of his stoop when he opened the door. Judith was carrying a large cake box in her hands, handbag over her shoulder, and Tristan was walking a step behind her, one hand on the small of her back as support and a bottle of wine in the other.
To Michael’s relief, they were dressed casually in jeans. Judith wore a light, airy blouse in shades of green and gold, while Tristan wore a red T-shirt with that denim jacket Michael liked.
“Hi,” he said, opening the door wide for them to enter.
Judith leaned in to kiss him on the cheek, stunning Michael with the familiarity, and breezed past him on her way to the kitchen. Tristan surprized him further, wrapping him in a quick bro-hug. “Thanks for having us,” Tristan said. “It means a lot to us.”
“You’re welcome,” Michael said warily, heading to the kitchen to see what Judith was up to.
At the counter, she’d helped herself to the side plates and a spatula. She’d completely dismantled the box so that it opened flat, and was lifting out a slice of chocolate cake topped with chocolate ganache, creamy white frosting, red and black cherries, and yet more shaved chocolate. Michael could smell alcohol.
“You said you liked chocolate,” Judith said. “You don’t get far more chocolate than this black forest cake. There’s this little bakery in the backstreets in Meadowridge that sells the most decadent cakes by the slice. Legend has it, that six whole slabs of chocolate go into the full cake, and the cherries are soaked in brandy. Shall we sit in the man-cave?”
Michael felt like he’d been knocked over by a tsunami. Tristan and Judith Bennett, together, were a force of nature. “I’ll bring coffee,” he said, and Tristan stayed behind while Judith swept out with the three plates balanced in her hands like an expert waitress.
“What are you doing?” Michael asked quietly.
“I’m helping you fix coffee,” Tristan said.
“You know what I mean.”
“Then you’ll need to wait until we’re all together.”
They carried the mugs through to the den, where Judith had already placed the plates of cake on the coffee table. She’d snuggled into the corner of one couch, legs drawn up underneath her. She’d kicked her sandals off under the coffee table and Michael didn’t want to examine the pang of longing at seeing her so comfortable in his home.
Tristan sat close beside her, leaving Michael to take the other couch.
Michael took his cake and cut off a piece with the edge of his fork. It was rich and gooey, and when he tasted it, the cream cheese frosting melted in his mouth. “You have to give me the name of this bakery,” he moaned.
“Told you,” Judith grinned. “I’ll text it to you. It’s actually not that far away from your practice.”
“On second thought, maybe you shouldn’t; I don’t know if I’ll resist.” He took a sip of coffee. Damn, that’s even better.
They made small talk while they ate their cake, talking about that coming weekend’s rugby match and sports in general, ignoring the elephant in the room until the last chocolate crumb had been eaten.
Judith put her empty plate on the coffee table, then took the remainder of her coffee and snuggled backwards against Tristan’s side. Tristan’s arm went around her shoulders, and they faced Michael. “Michael, first we want to apologize for last weekend.”
Michael frowned. “Apologize for what?”
“You went out of your way to see to our needs, and we did nothing to see to yours. It was selfish, and we are so sorry.”
“You may be the Dom,” Tristan said quietly. “It doesn’t mean you don’t have needs, and our conversation yesterday just underlined that. You said you don’t want to go into another one-sided relationship, but Judith and I talked, and we wanted to bring something else to the table.”
Michael looked from husband to wife, and didn’t know what to make of this. His heart was alternately racing and tripping with anticipation.
“We were hoping to have an open and frank conversation about what each of us needs,” Judith said. “And then see if what we want and can offer are really so incompatible after all.”
“This won’t work,” Michael whispered.
“We haven’t tried,” Judith said.
“You’re married,” Michael said. “That excludes me already.”
Judith smiled gently. “No it doesn’t.”
Michael took a deep, shuddering breath. “You’re saying you’d consider infidelity?” He asked bluntly.
“Sleeping with you wouldn’t be unfaithful,” Judith said. “Not if both of us are choosing to include you. A faithful trio, rather than a duo.”
Michael lifted a brow at Tristan.
“No, still straight,” Tristan grinned, but the good humour with which he delivered the line didn’t carry the sting to Michael’s heart that he’d expected. “But,” Tristan said, suddenly serious, “I promise to trust you to respect my limits, and not to freak out during aftercare like I did last time. I can’t promise it will be instant, but I do promise to work on it. I still don’t know if I’m really submissive, but for you, I’d submit.”
Michael didn’t know what to make of this. His hopes and dreams were being served to him on a platter, and long habit urged him to check the treats for the hidden pill. “And if it doesn’t work?” He asked.
“But what if it does?” Judith countered. “Michael, I’ve seen your heart. You weren’t meant to be alone. How do you ever plan to be in a relationship if you don’t open your heart to one? Relationships carry risk.”
Becoming aware of the cooling mug of coffee in his hands, he brought it to his lips and swallowed down a long, tepid mouthful.
“You’re scared,” Tristan said softly.
“Cautious,” Michael amended.
“Alright, then. Cautious.”
“This is a lot to think about,” Michael said.
“We know,” Judith said.
He looked up to gauge their reactions. Judith’s smile was radiant. Tristan tightened his arm around his wife, but Michael could see his shoulders relax. Are we doing this?
He hoped his heart would survive if they changed their minds.
~*~
Saturday
TRISTAN: WTF!
10:12√√
TRISTAN: Where’d you find this list?
10:13√√
TRISTAN: Branding? Golden Showers? Castration fantasy? BALL STRETCHING?
10:13√√
JUDITH: Calm down, Tristan. I’m sure not everything on that list applies to us.
10:16√√
TRISTAN: Easy for you to say – you don’t have balls!
10:17√√
ME: How about rugby balls?
10:18√√
TRISTAN: *wince*
10:20√√
JUDITH: XD
10:20√√
ME: I mean, stop stressing, and come watch the rugby with me. Kick-off’s in 45 mins.
10:23√√