by Jenika Snow
Payne
The Soldiers of Wrath: Grit Chapter, 3
Sam Crescent
Jenika Snow
Contents
Copyright
Blurb
Also by Crescent Snow
Author Note
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Epilogue
Lost In You: First Chapter
CSP Reader Group
Crescent Snow Publishing
PAYNE (The Soldiers of Wrath: Grit Chapter)
Sam Crescent and Jenika Snow
http://www.CrescentSnowPublishing.com
Published by Crescent Snow Publishing
Copyright © August 2016 by Sam Crescent and Jenika Snow
Digital Edition
First E-book Publication: August 2016
Editing: Kasi Alexander
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Blurb
Vicky is in love with Payne. But Payne is a complicated man, and she knows he only sees her as a warm hole to relieve himself in. The heartbreak over that is real, but she loves him too much to stop what they share.
Payne and Vicky are explosive in bed, and he doesn’t want that to stop. But he also won’t admit how he truly feels for her. Maybe he’s a bastard for keeping his mouth shut, but he doesn’t want to ruin what they have by saying anything.
Keeping her at a distance, and only having her by his side when they are between the sheets is what’s best for both of them.
When Vicky finds out she’s pregnant with Payne’s baby, she knows she can’t stay with a man that doesn’t want a commitment. Leaving is the best option for her and her unborn child.
When Payne finds out Vicky left, he realizes how badly he screwed up. Now he’ll do anything to bring Vicky back, and make her his old lady. She’s it for him, and he’ll prove that to her any way he can.
Also by Crescent Snow
Crescent Snow Publishing
The Soldiers of Wrath MC
The Soldiers of Wrath MC: Grit Chapter
Taboo Shorts
Club Corruption
Author Note
It is highly suggested that King (Grit chapter, 2) be read before Payne, as the two storylines are connected.
1
Vicky’s heart was thundering, her palms were sweating, and she was scared as hell.
She looked down at her hands and twisted her fingers together in her lap. What in the hell was she going to do if this was really her fate? Shifting on the table she sat on, the paper gown she had on crinkled, the sound seeming so damn loud. She was sweating, beads dotting her forehead and the valley between her breasts.
What in the hell am I going to do?
She closed her eyes and breathed in and out slowly.
There was a knock on the door a second before it was opened, and Vicky snapped her eyes open and stared at the woman who came in.
“Vicky?” the woman in the white lab coat said. She looked down at a file and then glanced at Vicky again, smiling.
“Yes,” Vicky said, her throat tight, her mouth dry. She twisted her hands even tighter in her lap.
“How are you doing?” the doctor asked.
Vicky shrugged, thought about lying, but figured she’d just be honest. “I’m scared as hell.”
The doctor gave her a sympathetic smile. “That’s normal.” She flipped open the file. “The urine test came back positive.” The doctor looked at Vicky again, and then set the file down. She pulled over a machine that had been pushed against the wall. “So you’re here for an ultrasound verification?”
Vicky nodded. “Yes. I took three tests at home, and even with the one I took here today I wanted to make sure.”
The doctor nodded and started working on the machine. Vicky stared at the screen that was currently black.
“Go ahead and lie fully back. Because you’ve said you have a history of miscarriages—” The doctor glanced at her, and Vicky nodded. “—we want to make sure everything is okay.” She typed on the ultrasound machine again. “How many miscarriages have you had?”
“Just one, when I was in high school.”
“How far along were you?”
“A few weeks, I think. I don’t know for sure.”
The doctor nodded. “We’ll just make sure things are okay.” She smiled again. “This is an internal sonogram since you’re so early.”
For the next few moments Vicky watched the doctor get the machine ready, and once the internal exam was underway she felt her heart seize as she saw that black screen light up.
The doctor turned the screen more toward Vicky. She started typing on the keyboard with one hand, and Vicky was transfixed. “There’s your baby.” The doctor lifted her hand and pointed to the tiny bean-shaped thing on the screen. More typing, and then the woman said, “You’re about five weeks’ gestation.”
Vicky couldn’t speak, couldn’t even think as she looked at that little person on the screen.
That was her baby, hers and Payne’s baby.
God, how in the hell was she going to get through this alone? She sure as hell wasn’t going to bring this up to him, not since he’d completely shut her out for unknown reasons over the last few weeks.
No, Vicky was doing this alone, but she knew she could do it. She could handle anything.
I hope.
Vicky had to do this, not just for herself, but for the secret she’d been holding onto. God, she didn’t want to leave, but she had to. Her heart couldn’t take rejection if she went to Payne and told him.
But she had to speak with Clara, because her best friend had always been there for her. Clara would always be there for her, she knew that, and Clara deserved to know the truth right down to the bare bones.
She stared at Clara through the open doorway, and a second later her friend turned around and smiled at her.
This woman has been with me through thick and thin.
They’d been through so much in this life, but it was only the beginning; that was clear by the revelations that had just transpired.
“Hey, you,” Clara said.
“Hi,” Vicky said, trying to stay positive, happy. “How are you?” After the incident where Clara had gotten hurt, Vicky had been so worried about her friend. Of course Clara didn’t need the bullshit Vicky was dealing with right now, but she had no one else to talk to.
They were like sisters, family.
Clara smiled again. “I’m good. Just thinking.”
Vicky looked out the window across the room. She needed to keep her emotions in check, but seeing Payne out there, oblivious of what she was going through, made this so damn hard.
It had only taken a short time for Vicky to fall for Payne, but he was this hardcore biker, and she knew there was no room in his life for a permanent fixture … that being her. She thought about the last interaction she’d had with Payne, and her stomach twisted, her hea
rt ripping in two.
All I want to do is have that happily ever after.
She closed her eyes for a second, knowing that wasn’t in her future, at least not with Payne.
Vicky might have closed up when Clara had asked her what was up, but now wasn’t going to be that time.
“You know I’m here for you,” Clara said and moved over to Vicky.
Vicky nodded but didn’t say anything, her thoughts running wild in her head.
Just tell her. Tell Clara you have to leave, that you can’t be here anymore, can’t deal with this.
“If this is about Payne, I can make him leave, Vicky. You don’t have to hurt like this.”
Vicky looked at her friend, and Clara gave her an empathetic look. The secret she’d held inside was right at the surface, but then Vicky looked at her friend, at her healing injuries, about how happy Clara was despite that.
No, she didn’t need more drama, and that’s what Vicky would be giving her.
“I know you care for him, and wearing your heart on your sleeve doesn’t have to be your reality, Vic.”
“I can’t stay here,” Vicky whispered, finally saying what she had been thinking.
“I can make Payne leave, Vicky. You don’t have to leave because of him.” Clara sounded so adamant, the pain clear in her voice.
Vicky shook her head. “Thanks, but I’m the one that came here. This is his home, where he lives.” She gave Clara a hug. “I just need some time to think.”
Clara nodded. “I know how you feel, honey, but you know I’m here for you.”
Vicky smiled. “I know, and I love you for that.”
Without dragging this out, Vicky left, keeping her head downcast as she made her way out of the clubhouse and away from the bikers. If this life had taught her anything, it was that she needed to worry about herself, and what was going on in her life.
She needed to be happy, as well.
2
Payne ran a hand down his face, tired, bored, and wanting only one woman, Vicky. Where was she? He’d seen her talking with Clara but she hadn’t come out to greet him. In the last couple of weeks, she’d been avoiding him, and he didn’t like it. It wasn’t like her. He missed their nights together, their closeness.
“You okay, man?” King asked.
“Of course I’m okay. Why wouldn’t I be?” He took another large gulp of beer, not tasting it. Nothing tasted right to him anymore.
He was losing his fucking shit, and right now, that wasn’t good. His men were around him, expecting shit from him.
The club whores were out in full force, and he wasn’t interested in their pussy. Only one woman belonged to him, and in his heart, he belonged to her. Clara came out of the clubhouse and moved to King’s side. He saw she looked a little pale.
“You okay?” King asked.
“I’m fine.”
“You sure?”
“I said I’m fine.” She snapped the words out, and then started biting her lip. “It’s nothing. Forget it.”
Payne frowned as she walked away. She was acting strangely, and considering she was strange to begin with, that was saying something. He didn’t like how he was feeling or what was happening around him.
The day wore on, and he lost his temper. Where the fuck was Vicky? Storming into the clubhouse, he looked around the main room, the bar, the pool room, going toward the walk-in pantry, only to find everything empty. Her presence was nowhere. Heading upstairs, he went looking for her in his room, and what he found turned his stomach. He had a small wardrobe, and drawers. Both were open, empty of her clothes. Going to the bathroom, he saw that all of her stuff was gone as well. Vicky had gone. She had left.
He knew it without a shadow of a doubt.
“Will you leave me a note if you ever go and I’m not here? So I don’t worry about you?”
“No, Payne. When I go, I’ll only be a memory. I won’t cause any trouble. That’s not who I am.”
It was a distant memory, so old it had almost faded. She had been part of his life for so long that he’d not even considered her ever leaving. Clara’s pale face. The fact Vicky hadn’t come out with her. She knew, and he was going to find out where the fuck Vicky was.
He left his room, slamming the door as he did. Leaving the clubhouse, he saw Clara resting against a tree. King was there in front of them. They both looked so happy, so at peace, and he was about to ruin that. He would kill Clara if he had to.
“Hey, Payne,” someone said.
Payne shoved them out of the way, charging toward the woman that had known. She knew Vicky was leaving, and rather than warn him, she just let her go, and he was pissed. So fucking pissed.
He pushed King aside and wrapped his hands around Clara’s neck, pinning her against the tree.
“Payne, what the fuck? Get your hands off my woman!”
“Where is she?” he asked.
Clara held onto his arm but she didn’t fight him. Squeezing her throat a little tighter, he stared into her eyes, letting her know he would kill her.
“Payne!” King said.
“Vicky is gone. She knows, and I’m not going to rest until I find her.”
“You think this is the way to let everyone know that you’re in love with Vicky?” King asked, stepping in close.
King didn’t make a move to attack him. He was a smart man. There was a reason that Payne was the Prez of the Soldiers of Wrath: Grit Chapter. No one could best him in a fight. He was the best, the strongest, and the hardest.
“Do I look like I give a fuck right now? She’s gone. How long?”
“Clara doesn’t know anything.”
Payne smiled. “Do you want to tell him the truth?”
“Yes, I know.”
King froze.
Clara swallowed. He felt the action against his palm. “I knew she was going. I didn’t say anything, and I gave her a chance to get away.”
Payne pulled her toward him. “Where is she headed?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know where she is going, only that she is.”
“Why?”
“She told me it was time for her to move on,” Clara said.
“You’re lying.”
“I’m not. Vicky wouldn’t tell me because she knew your crazy ass would do this, and she didn’t want to risk me getting hurt. That’s all you seem to know, isn’t it, Payne, hurting people?”
He glared at her.
“You were breaking her heart. It’s what you do best. You break hearts, and don’t give a fuck about the person that you leave behind,” Clara said.
“Stop it, Clara.”
“What? Stop telling the big bad Payne what an asshole he’s been? Vicky deserved better than you. You saw what a gem she was, and you stuck your claws in, dragging her back to your fucking lair, and then proceeded to hurt her.”
“I would never hurt her,” Payne said, gritting his teeth.
“No? Then tell me why she has spent so much time crying in my lap? Why she would do anything to get away from you?”
“I love her,” he said. He spoke the words against her ear so that only she could hear them. “I need her.”
“Not enough to claim her. She was just a hole for you to use.”
Payne let her go. There was no point choking her, or killing her. It wouldn’t get him any closer to Vicky, and when he did finally find her, she would be pissed at him for killing her best friend.
“Vicky was never a hole. Do you think it was easy for me to keep holding back from her? She is all I think about. I’ve got a club to lead, and with that comes risks. I thought you’d understand that, being King’s old lady. I couldn’t risk Vicky.”
“Then you should have told her all of that. Besides, you should trust Vicky. She would have been proud to stand by your side, and she wasn’t stupid.”
He snorted. “I know she wasn’t.”
“Nor was she reckless. Vicky is—she’s fire, Payne. You don’t see that inside her, but I know her. She’s fire, and you,
with constantly pushing her away, you put that fire out, and that’s not fair on her.” Clara rubbed at her neck. Bruises had already started to appear.
“Can I contact her?” he asked.
She sighed. “I know she took her cell phone. For how long, I don’t know.”
Payne left her and made his way back into the clubhouse. Going to his office, he pulled out his cell phone and dialed her number. His heart was racing, and for the first time in his life, he felt sick to his stomach.
“Is Clara alive?” Vicky asked, picking up.
“Come home.”
“Is she alive?”
“I’m not telling you.”
“Fine.”
The call went dead, and he was in so much surprise that for a few seconds he simply stared at his cell phone. When he dialed her phone again, he got the message that the caller was currently busy.
Slamming his fist onto the desk, he waited another few seconds, and dialed again.
“She’s alive. I just checked,” Vicky said.
“I would have told you!”
“I’m not playing games with you, Payne. You wouldn’t answer, and I care about Clara.”
“You don’t care about me?”
“Don’t. You don’t get to question my feelings for you.”
Sitting back in his chair, he closed his eyes. Just hearing her voice helped calm his very soul. “You left.”
“I told you I would.”
“I want you to come home.”
“No.”
3
Vicky had done it, just left, hadn’t told Payne about the pregnancy, and she felt scared shitless.
It was wrong not to tell him about the baby, she knew that, but she was also afraid of his reaction. Would he blame her, thinking she “trapped” him? She also didn’t need her heart broken all over again at hearing him say he only wanted her as a piece of ass.