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The Light in Your Eyes (The Light in Your Eyes #1)

Page 5

by C. M. Carpi


  “Shall we go?” — I said when my voice finally decided to have sound again.

  We walked the stone streets to a cozy tavern lakeside. She spent the entire dinner telling stories about her childhood and how amazing it was being raised by her grandmother.

  “You have to meet my grandma” — She laughed after telling a story about the first garden her grandmother tried to create. But she didn’t say anything about her parents and I thought I shouldn’t mention the subject.

  After dinner, we sat lakeside, close to the stones. The water seemed completely illuminated and a starry sky completed the landscape. After Venice, this was probably my favorite place in Italy.

  “Can I ask you a question?”

  “Sure.”

  “Have you left someone in North Carolina?”

  “Someone?” — She half-closed her eyes.

  “Some… prince?”

  “Oh!” — She laughed throwing her head back. — “No, my prince turned into a frog a long time ago” – she gave me her arm and laid her head on my shoulder. We stood silent for some minutes until we finally startled again.

  “I met Adam when I was 14. He moved to Beaufort and attended classes in my school. He was two years older and, as soon as he arrived, he became the most popular quarterback in school.” — She laughed, maybe remembering something. — “Then, suddenly, he fell in love with me and overnight I wasn’t the poor orphan girl anymore, I was the girlfriend of the most popular boy in school” — She had a grin on her lips. — “We dated during high school and we only had some time apart when I went to college, but I spent so many weekends and holidays at home that it seemed to me we had always been together. We broke up four months ago” — She looked at me with a shy smile and half-closed eyes, as if she were ashamed of telling me something. Then she started talking almost in a whisper. — “When I broke with him at the church altar.”

  “You what?” — She noticed the surprise in my voice. So did I.

  I expected she’d tell me anything, that he had betrayed her, that she met someone else and it didn’t work out. But this? I couldn’t do anything but imagine her wearing a wedding dress and running away, crossing the streets of her little town while people gathered at the church gates to watch her going away.

  “I freaked out when I saw him standing in that horrible suit staring at me!” — She looked ahead and smiled, then, suddenly she got serious. — “He was really important in my life and showed up in a moment I was feeling completely alone. He fulfilled an empty holeI had inside my heart after my parents died. I loved him so hard. But not hard enoughto marry him.”

  “Couldn’t you have spoken with him before?” — I knew she might have answered this question a million times but I couldn’t help myself.

  “I tried. During the past two years I tried to speak with him, tell him what I felt and expected for my life. But he never listened...” — She shrugged before continuing. — “Maybe it wasn’t important for him” — She stopped again and looked up at me. — “And before you have any thoughts of judging me, it wasn’t willful. I thought it could work. It just happened.”

  “I’d never judge you.”

  “A lot of people did.” — Her eyes were teary.

  “You may have ruined his life”— I tried to ease the mood. She elbowed me softly. — “How old are you?” — I asked, realizing I didn’t know her age.

  “Twenty-three.”

  “Why would you get married so young?”

  “Because that was the life I knew and I really thought that was the right thing to do. But I wanted more!” — I could see the sparkle in her eyes while she talked.

  “And what do you want, Elena?” — I got closer to her face before I spoke and felt her trembling while I approached. She took a deep breath before saying anything.

  “I want a love that will devour me, make me feel desired, truly loved. I want someone to embrace me while I’m down and laugh with me when I’m happy.” — Her eyes were fixed into mine while she spoke. — “I want someone that listens to my stories” — She gave a shy smile. — “I want someone whodisagrees with me when it’s necessary, respect my choices and make me happy everyday no matter what happens.”

  She didn’t talk like a girl, and suddenly I had an uncontrollable will of holding her and kiss her. If she wanted, I could be this someone.

  Could I? What the fuck?

  “Do you regret what you did?” — I had to ask, I didn’t know why this bothered me so much. — “Leaving everythingbehind?” — She turned her eyes to the lake before answering.

  “No. My choices have brought me here. I’d do everything again” — I felt a relief when I heard that.

  “What about you?” — She turned to me. — “No broken hearts in New York?”

  “No” — I answered quickly, hopping she wouldn’t ask me this kind of question. But as she’d said before, she liked to do that.

  “Really?”

  “No”

  “No one?”

  “No”

  “I can´t believe it!” — She faced me. — “Oh, I forgot!” — She closed her mouth with her hand as if she had an enlightment. — “You don’t fall in love, do you?”

  No. At least I thought so three days ago. I’m not sure now. During the last three years it was like nothing real happened in my life. The images were blurred and confused. If I tell Owen this, he’d say that’s because I was drunk most of the time. Maybe he was right, but it wasn’t just that. It was like nothing important happened. I was just here, but at the same time I wasn’t. Now, talking to her, it seemed that everything was starting to make sense again.

  “Won’t you tell me anything at all?”

  What the hell! She was so persistent.

  “You won’t give up, will you?” — She just nodded and gave me a playful smile. I took several deep breaths and when I spoke the words came out of my mouth in a way that I had no time to think. It was the last thing I wanted to say. — “I had a fiancée” — I was serious. — “We were supposed to get married on Saturday” — She didn’t say anything.Her eyes widened at me, andit seemed that she was looking for words to say.

  “Getting married?” — She asked in a whisper. I nodded and stared the silver lake in front of us. — “You mean, this Saturday?” — I confirmed again.

  “We had a complicated relationship” — I said before she asked anything else.

  “How about that‘I never fall in love’ thing?” — I opened my mouth before speaking, but I hadn’t finished. — “How would you get married without falling in love?”

  She was smiling.

  “You shouldn’t judge me, Elena” — I said looking deep inside her eyes again. She seemed embarrassed for a second.

  “You must have ruined her life” — She put her hand on her chest, giving a tragic feeling to her comment, imitating my line. She couldn’t figure out how much I did it. But I wouldn’t say this now. Maybe I would never do it.

  “It was for the best” — I closed the subject as this. — “Let’s go back to the hotel?”

  Elena

  When I opened my eyes it was still dawn. The timid Sunshine invaded the room behind the light green curtain. He wasn’t in the room, I saw him sneaking outand tiptoe at five in the morning and he still hadn’t come back. I analyzed the room to make sure everything was still here. I nodded and smiled at the same time with the thought.

  I went to the balcony and stretched calmly beholding the wonderful landscape.

  I need to take some pictures.

  I went back inside to get my camera and at the same moment the door was opened and he came in. I looked at him almost hypnotized. He was wearing a gray shirt and it was all sweat, completely marking his body. He was also wearing Adidas dark blue pants that fit perfectly in his hips and a cap. />
  “Good morning” — He smiled passing through me and bending to get a water bottle in the minibar, giving me a privileged view of his body. I put the camera over the bedside table.I hadcompletely forgotten why it was in my hands. — “Taking pictures?” — He removed his cap and ran his hand on his wet hair.

  “What?”

  He looked at me inclining his head and giving a half-smile. That half-smile… I shook my hands and closed my eyes for seconds, embarrassed for looking at him that way and being so… silly, but I couldn’t avoid it.

  Breathe, Elena!

  “It’s a beautiful day today, I thought about a boat ride” — He lifted his shirt and dried his face with it, showing his perfectly lineate tummy. Oh God! It had to be on purpose.

  “Hum-hum” — I mumbled while getting the camera again and went back to the balcony. I only realized I wasn’t breathing when I got there. He left the room after me and stopped by my side, his sweat arm touching mine. Seriously?

  “Are you ok?” — He asked touching my shoulder. I stepped aside unconsciously, answering without looking at him.

  “Yes. Why?”

  “You seem… I don’t know. Distracted.” — Distracted? Of course I am distracted, look at you! I can’t concentrate in anything else.

  “Your imagination.”

  He stared at me curiously for some moments.

  “I’ll take a shower, ok? You want to go first?”

  “I’ll go after you” — I answered while shooting what looked like a bird flying over the lake.

  After I had my shower, there was a breakfast table at the balcony, waiting for me. He stepped in as soon as he heard I had opened the door.

  “I thought you’d like to have breakfast watching this view” — He smiled pointing to the landscape.

  The small square table on the corner was covered with a white towel and there was a vaseon it filled with yellow roses.

  “I love yellow roses” — I said inhaling their perfume. — “These are my favorite ones.”

  “I thought all women liked red roses.”

  “I don’t”

  He stared at me with a smile and a wrinkle between his eyebrows.

  The table was filled with breads, juice, coffee and different kinds of cheese, scrambled eggs and fruits. But something was missing.

  “No croissant?”

  “No. You can’t just eat croissants” — He said putting the scrambled eggs and toasts on my plate.

  That was just perfect! Now he’d tell me what I could eat. I reached out the telephone and called the reception desk. I ordered two croissants. He stared at me with the basket of toasts in his hands but he didn’t say anything until I had hung up the phone.

  “My God you are stubborn!”

  “I ordered one for you too, so there’s no need to be upset” — I said while taking a seat and biting my toast. He smiled and sat beside me.

  Breakfast was perfect. The sky was blue and white clouds made different shapes in the sky. This was one of my favorite hobbies when I was a child, searching for shaped clouds in the sky. I still do it a lot.

  When we left I could really notice how beautiful Sirmione was.

  “Can we see the castle now?” — I asked.

  “Sure”

  It was very early when we went to the top of the tower and so we could enjoy the view alone. No other tourists.

  “I’m feeling in middle age” — I said while we went off the boat and started walking the charming city that, by now, was crowded. The streets and alleys were charming, filled with stores, restaurants and gelatterias with thousands of colorful gelattos on the showcases. I was so entertained that I didn’t see the time was going by so fast.

  After our calm lunch lakeside, we went to Grutas de Catullo and spent the rest of the afternoon talking while we waited for the sunset.

  “Where are you going after Milan?” He asked.

  “Paris.”

  He looked ahead and got silent.

  “I thought you didn’t have plans” — He said without looking at me.

  “I don’t. Maybe tomorrow I’ll change my mind, but today I want to go to Paris” — He agreed with a discreet gesture and took my hand, giving me chills.

  “What if I invite you to go to San Francisco with me?” — His eyes were fixed into mine. He looked anxious.

  “San Francisco?” — I asked in a high tone.

  “I have a meeting and my brothers and cousins will be there too.”

  “San Francisco?” — I repeated and he smiled.

  “Yes, San Francisco”

  “But I want to go to Paris!”

  “We can go there later” — I looked at him with my eyes widened. We? Did he just say “we”?

  “I was taken by surprise…” — I looked at the lake and once again. — “Honestly, I don’t know what to say.”

  “Don’t answer. Think about it for a while, but I’m sure you’ll go” — He gave me his half-smile and turned to me. I tried to say something, but I wasn’t capable of vocalizing the words. “I’m sure you’ll go?”. Did I really listen to what he said? I nodded, trying to understand what had happened.

  We stayed in Sirmione until the end of the next day. When we got in the car we started listening to Led Zeppelin while he drove us back to Verona.

  Daniel

  We were heading back to the hotel where we met some days ago, but this time in separate rooms. During our stay in Sirmione I spent two sleepless nights while she slept in the bed near mine. I couldn’t avoid thinking of taking off her clothes and take her to bed, but the way she looked at me made me act different.

  The city was still filled with tourists, the night was warm and Julianna’s restaurant was crowded as usual.

  “I thought you had left Verona” — We turned our backs and saw Isabella holding a bouquet of red roses. She handed them to the waiter and came to join us.

  “What a nice surprise” — She said hugging us. — “Have you already eaten?”

  “No, we´ve just arrived” — I said moving away.

  “Then come, you will dine with me”

  We went in the restaurant and sat at a more private table.

  “Is your mother here today?”

  “No, she took the day off.”

  “Since when does your mother take a day off?” — I asked, finding the situation funny. Soon I realized she was serious and looking away. — “Isabella, is everything all right?”

  “About one year ago she started to show lapses of memory, but it has gotten a lot worse from two months ago” — She had teary eyes. — “She has Alzheimer.”

  “I’m really sorry.” — I said after a few seconds. It was the only thing I could say.

  “There are days when her memory is excellent, and other days she forgets recipes she’s been doing all her life” — She stopped talking to wipe a single tear rolling down her face, then she took a deep breath. She wouldn’t be defeated. — “Life is full of surprises, isn’t it?” — She smiled and stood up. — “I’m going to bring us some wine.”

  I couldn’t imagine someone like Julianna, who fought so much to have a good life, and became the owner of one of the most famous and respected restaurants in Italy, ending up like this. Elena held my hand on my lap and pressed it, smiling at me, and at the same time, my node chest was unmade. How was she capable of doing so?

  Isabella came back with a bottle of wine from her private wine house.

  “This wine is for special occasions” — She said while we made a toast.

  Dinner was calm and pleasant. We were talking for about two hours when Elena suddenly got up.

  “I have to do something” — She smiled and grabbed her bag.

  “Where are you going?” — I asked holding
her arm.

  “I’ll be back soon” — She kissed my cheek and quickly went out. I looked at her while she moved away.

  “What’s happening between you two?” — Isabella called my attention.

  “Nothing” — I shrugged, having some more wine.

  “Nothing? Oh, God, look at you!” — She was laughing.

  “We’re just friends.”

  “Do you really believe that you are just friends?” — She bent over the table and started speaking in a whisper. I noticed some irony in her voice.

  “Why are you asking me this?”

  “Daniel, you’re in love with her!”

  “What? No!” — I noticed my voice my muffled voice.

  “Yes, you are!” — She laughed throwing her head back.

  “I think you had too much wine” — I tried to reach her glass, but she did it first.

  “Don’t change the subject, Daniel” — She was suddenly serious. — “You love her and she loves you”

  “Isabella, please…”

  She interrupted me.

  “I know you well enough to realize it. Daniel Marshall has no girlfriends.”

  “You are my friend”

  “But we already had sex. That’s why we are friends” — I opened my mouth to object, but she raised her hand and nodded, making me shut again. — “If you want to believe you don’t feel anything for her and that you are just friends. That’s your problem. But don’t play with her. She’s not that type of woman.”

  “I know.”

  “Daniel, you know you can’t fix what happened. What is done, is done. You can’t blame yourself for the rest of your life, or worse, sacrifice yourself.”

  She knew everything that happened to me, all the problems I went through. Even being apart, she was always a person I could always count on. She held my hand and looked deep into my eyes.

  “You need to get over what happened and let her in your heart”

  Elena came back minutes later and we said goodbye to Isabella. She whispered in my ear I should talk to Elena about my feelings, but I didn’t really know how I felt.

 

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