The Size Anthology

by KT Morrison

  She heard a chirp and the magnetic lock buzz. She stood up, worried. Mitch came in quietly through the double doors, said Hey.

  “Hey,” she said back. She stood on one bare leg, the other still bent up on the couch. Just wearing her big shirt, hoping to look as gentle and kind towards him as she felt. She wanted to go to him, hug him, make it better but the thought of him pushing her away made her too fearful.

  He scratched his ear with the key card then went to the bar and poured a drink.

  “Mitch,” she said.

  “Hold on,” he held up a hand as he poured, then took a sip.

  “Kate, we can’t lie, yeah?”

  “I know,” she said. “Please, just come here,” she didn’t want to cry, wasn’t going to, but she hated the feeling that not everything about them was in the right place.

  He came over and kissed her and put his arms around her and held her without saying anything. She just squeezed him and felt him breathing.

  “I don’t want this,” she said. “Can we just go home?” And she meant it in that moment, the disgrace she felt, disgust.

  “I want to do this,” he said.

  “I don’t Mitch, not any more. I did, I really did, but I just—this whole thing feels so wrong now, it’s making me sick.”

  They sat down across from each other for a while, looking down at the empty glasses on the low table between them. “Something made you put all this together and I don’t think that’s going to go away.”

  That was true. She felt that. “I don’t want to do something that’ll hurt you, Mitch.”

  “I know. I feel like maybe you had hidden something from me. That you tricked me into this. False pretences and all that. I feel like you left me out of a lot of this. This threesome that became a foursome? It was always going to be a foursome.” He was a smart one.

  He lifted his empty whisky glass and cocked his arm, looking to hurl it through a glass display case across from them, seemed as if he would, but shook his head and put it back down. Not mad, just frustrated. She took it from him and set it on the table and climbed into his lap.

  “That’s the part that I really don’t like,” he said to her, close up. “I get why you want what you want. I don’t like it. I hate it, but I do want it for you. I want this for you because you want it. I don’t know why. But I’m okay with it. Just no more lies.”

  She agreed but she didn’t tell him about the picture that Kiley sent and how it made her crazy. She told him that Kiley really was into this, wanted to be with him but she didn’t tell him that she had told Kiley that sometimes she thought Mitch was too small and she wasn’t always satisfied. That the two of them had arranged this little get-together for the sole purpose of Kate's desire. She didn’t tell him that she asked whatever happened to the guy whose picture she’d sent because Omar and Kiley weren’t really a couple any more. They had split up quite a while ago. She didn’t tell him that Omar was only there specifically because of what she knew was between his legs.

  She couldn’t tell him. It would hurt him that she could be so deceitful, and she had that feeling back in her stomach, and she just wanted this done and over so she could stop thinking about it.

  8

  Submarine

  Mitch took them out the next morning in the Jeep and they all had breakfast in Rum Point. It was early but the parking was already almost full and the place was getting pretty lively.

  The diner was a little yellow-painted bungalow at the edge of the beach, ten tables and packed, everyone there for the coconut bakes and fresh papaya and lime that you couldn’t avoid hearing about. It had a thatch roof and a surfboard at the door even though nobody surfed around there, but the rum barrels on the boardwalk out front under the Casaurina trees made the place a bit more authentic.

  Omar had left the table before the bill came, before the plates were cleared, and Kiley and Kate were talking to each other, whispering in the noisy little room. He watched them talk, serious faces. He reached across and took Kate’s hand and Kiley looked over at him.

  “We should get going, we need to get to the port.”

  “Yeah, let’s hit the loo,” Kiley said, standing, nodding to Kate.

  “One second,” he said, and she waited then went off by herself.

  “Little rude, Mitch,” she said, but kind of smiling at him.

  “I’m looking forward to tonight, you know,” he said. He wanted to reassure her. “You know, though, that this isn’t an open marriage now, yeah? You know that right? This is a bit of fun, but you know it ends here.”

  “Yeah.”

  “This is cheating. I know you think we’re in this together,” he squeezed her hand, “and we are, from here on out--but the way this came about? It’s practically cheating. You found a way to get this thing you’re looking for and you just figured out a way to do it right in front of me.”

  “Hey—”

  “Kate, I’m in. I feel tricked, but I’m listening to you.”

  “Mitch—”

  “Kiley was bait you used to lure me into a yes. Give you a green light on your desires. And once I sunk my teeth in you hoped I wouldn’t let go. You have me in the trap, Kate. Let’s see what you can do.”

  She put her hand over top of his, brushing her fingers over his soft skin, looking into his eyes. God, he loved her.

  Mitch had slept the entire night with his arm around her holding her tight against him. She’d woken up with a sweaty bar across her shirt where his arm had been.

  Seemed like he’d been up all night thinking. He’d figured her out though. She hadn’t even seen it that way, but wasn’t that what she’d done? Wasn’t he right? He made her sound very bad. Maybe she was. She’d been called it before, grabbed roughly or slapped by some bloke stinking of lager that she thought loved her. They just made her feel more right. More righteous. Mitch was making her feel wicked.

  Kiley was next to her, sharing the mirror, fixing her hair, they looked at each other in the reflection. Kiley turned, stayed quiet, squeezed her arm and went back out to the restaurant. She took a minute, looking down, avoiding herself, gripped the edge of the sink, exhaled deeply. She would show Mitch what she could do. She left, pushing past two young girls coming in.

  The little hallway was crowded now, a bunch of people coming in off the beach. She was pressed up against the wall, painted mural of the sea, grim sailing ships from another time, getting herself through. Omar came out of the doorway ahead of her and turned, said, Hi, his voice very deep, low. He stepped forward to let someone into the Men’s behind him, right up next to her now, looking down into her. Light coming in from a small side window getting into his eyes lighting the navy up into a brilliant blue. She put her hand next to his, almost touching it, felt the heat from it. If he’d kissed her right there, she might have gone into the men’s room with him and let him do whatever he wanted to her. They stood like that letting the hallway clear, he shrugged his head to the side, and she followed him out to the parking.

  Kiley and Mitch were at the Jeep, Mitch was looking in the wheel wells, there was a sign saying to check for iguanas.

  “Submarine?” Kiley said.

  “Where?” Kate said.

  “We have to drive back up to George Town.” Mitch was getting the keys out.

  Kate asked him, looking for clarification, “We’re going on a submarine?”

  “I have a little trouble with tight spaces,” Omar said.

  Kate looked over at Kiley, What does he mean? He ruined this yesterday with his revealing swim trunks, could he not say things like that. Everyone still talking, she realized she was the only one who thought that was dirty.

  Kiley sat in the back of the Jeep and looked at Mitch as he drove. Handsome guy. Kate was up front with him, her right hand over his wrist while he held the gearshift.

  Kate told her what happened last night, why they cancelled. She got it. Kate said that he didn’t come back until late and when he did he was okay with it again. Kate had kind o
f confessed a lot of it to Mitch. But Kate told her this morning that she hadn’t told him everything—she and Omar still had to act like a couple, and don’t say that she had seen a picture of Omar’s penis and had practically special-ordered him. She didn’t get that. Why would Kate still keep things from him? If he doesn’t want lies, don’t lie, and if he can’t truly handle her strange desires then don’t do it for Christ’s sake. Yeah, Omar was hot, she’d been obsessed with him at one time, but the guy could be a real prick too. If Kate missed out on him it just wasn’t the end of the world.

  They got to the port and parked. Kiley had said Omar could wait in the Jeep but he said he was fine to get on the little tour sub.

  They waited in line for a while before their boat showed up, standing out in the sun. The boat that took them out to the sub wasn’t crowded and the trip out was pretty peaceful, Mitch and Kate leaning over the rail, holding hands. It was nice, she was happy for them. She stayed with Omar, sitting with him as he huddled up in the shade worried he’d get seasick again.

  It took forever for the people on the sub to disembark and she was glad they weren’t on that trip. For Omar’s sake. Wasn’t sure to begin with how he’d handle being underwater in a little metal coffin. At least it wasn’t going to be crowded. She climbed down the ladder and onto the sub, Mitch holding her hand to steady her as she jumped off the last rung.

  She was glad it was back on for her and Mitch too. Kate made him sound kind of underwhelming but she’d always enjoyed spending time with him. He was very dashing, he looked the part of a Prince or something, at home in a tuxedo with a drink in his hand. Like he was out of a Scotch ad. Kate was very lucky.

  Back when Kate and Mitch were dating, Kate was also seeing two other blokes. Kiley couldn’t keep the stories straight, so Kate gave them nicknames and Mitch was referred to as the one with the little dick. It wasn’t mean, she treated it as matter of fact. But that was her husband now.

  Omar sat bathing in the weird blue light inside the submarine, his back facing a vent that was blowing cold air over his shoulders. Kiley was next to him looking out at the coral and the fish. Same they saw yesterday, but now behind glass.

  Omar was looking at Kate and Mitch. The two of them watching out the little round portholes on the other side, holding hands. Kate wore this big, white linen shirt that came down over her ass but he could see her well-toned, bare legs underneath. The shirt glowed brightly in the blue.

  She was well-kept. That was for sure. Her perfect white teeth, her glossy hair, manicure, pedicure. He imagined most of her days were spent in gyms, hair salons, nail salons. Expensive to keep a girl like that.

  Mitch was whispering something into her ear and she leaned her head on him, put her hand up on his chest. Still holding hands. These two made no sense.

  Omar wondered who it was really for. This week together, the four of them like this. Who was the one of the two of them who wanted this more? Mitch looked like he could be a dog. Of course he’d want to fuck Kiley. But Kiley called Omar.

  There was a bing, and he looked to the right, next to the two black operators piloting the sub in their white lapel shirts. A digital sign flashed one-hundred-ft. They were about as deep as they would go.

  Kate was the one who wanted it.

  He smiled looking at her slim legs and her painted toes. He knew what she looked like under that shirt and he couldn’t wait for this to happen. Glad this was back on, wondered what had happened last night. Who got the cold feet?

  Kiley hadn’t talked to Omar for about six months. She’d called out of the blue. Kiley wasn’t interested in getting back together that was pretty obvious. He figured there was only one reason he was here. Kinky that Kiley would have told Kate. Kinky that Kate wanted it for herself. He scratched his beard and watched the two of them. Strange little lovebirds.

  “Omar,” Kiley said, “there’s your shipwreck,” pointing out the porthole.

  He turned around and looked out into the sea, saw the coral-crusted remains of an old ship, jagged spires out of the white sand. Now this was interesting.

  Mitch wasn’t sure if Omar was just showing off or if he really did just want to open the jet ski up. He saw him ripping up ahead, splitting the ocean with a spray of foam, getting farther and farther from him.

  Kate had said they should rent jet skis and go out in the afternoon but when they showed up at the dock Kate had changed her mind. All four of them standing in the heat and sun, ready to go, and she convinced Kiley to stay on land with her and go get a massage on the beach. So he was left with Omar and the jet skis. He’d have preferred to stay, go get a massage with the two girls, but Omar was already getting on his jet ski. For some strange reason he didn’t want to ruin his fun. This guy who his wife wanted to fuck because he had a big dick, and here was her husband concerned about the guy’s feelings.

  So now he was out on the water, sitting on a jet ski, watching this hotshot tool around spraying up water in a rooster tail. He felt like he was getting a sunburn sitting out there, checking his arms for redness, and wondered how much time would have to pass before it would be considered all right to call it quits. He checked his watch again, then waved Omar over.

  “Think we should pack it in, mate,” he said.

  Omar used his big hands to wipe the water off his face, shook them out. He seemed happy, invigorated.

  “Yes, they should be done by now, you think?”

  “Yeah, they’ve got to be,” he said looking back to shore as if he might be able to see them.

  Omar leaned forward, draped his arms over the handlebars, dripping water. “So, Mitch, you do banking in London, stock exchange?”

  “Sort of, I run an Investment House.”

  “Handling rich people’s money for them?”

  “That’s right, more or less.”

  Omar nodded, looking out deeper into the sea, the two of them bobbing with the waves.

  “Well, you certainly got us the best in wave runners,” he said, looking over the gauges, squinting from the sun.

  “Did I?”

  He laughed, said “You don’t know how good they are?” He looked at Mitch, squeezing the grips, said, “Supercharged four-stroke, air to water intercooler--you should really open it up out here. You don’t want to find out what she can do?”

  “Not much of a thrill-seeker, I guess.”

  Omar rubbed his broad chin, “If you don’t know what it can do I suppose you don’t miss out on putting it through its paces,” he made it sound friendly, smiling holding his hands out to his sides. Laissez-faire. Mitch got it, Frenchman. If he fucked his wife better she wouldn’t have to seek you out?

  They rode back together and dropped off the machines at the dock, but the girls weren’t out where the massage tables were. Someone there told them they’d gone off along the boardwalk after they were done, so Mitch and Omar walked to the shops and poked around until they found them.

  He saw Kate in the back of a little boutique, standing at the counter with her items neatly folded by the cashier who was talking to her, intimately, like they were divulging secrets.

  She grabbed his hand and kissed him, said Kiley was still trying things on. Omar went and sat on one of the low leather arm chairs in the fitting area, slumped in it, and picked up a brochure on parasailing. Mitch left Kate to her conversation and sat in the chair next to Omar, watched him adjust himself while he flipped the card over.

  “Hi, fellas, how was your jet skiing?” Kiley said, Mitch looking up and seeing her come out of the shuttered dressing room and stand in front of the mirrors.

  “Refreshing,” he said, Omar not answering, looking for something else to read through.

  She looked sheepish for a moment, scrunched up her nose, said, “Mitch, I hope you don’t mind, Kate made me…”

  He put his palms up and stopped her, said, My pleasure, assuming she meant some of the clothing on the counter was hers and Kate was paying.

  She turned her back to a tall mirror held
in a stand and looked over her shoulder. “What do you think?”

  She was standing on her tip-toes, trying on a short, silk tunic coverup with a split neckline. Big bold pattern, silhouettes of emerald palms against a bone background, three quarter sleeve with a lacy trim, showing off her long graceful wrists and hands.

  He looked at her firm, beautifully shaped legs, her bare little feet on the polished maple floor. The hem of the pullover coming down to just the tops of her thighs. When she lifted her arms the back of it came up and he could see a flash of her panties, the curve of her cheek.

  “Just get it, Kiley, you look stunning.” He felt strangely self-conscious saying that in front of her boyfriend.

  Kiley didn’t really seem too close with Omar, they seemed kind of distant. Kiley looked really outstanding in that little top and Omar only managed to raise an eyebrow. It was unusual the way those two got along.

  He stood up and went over to the counter and put his hand on the small of Kate’s back. He wasn’t sure if it was alright to pay for Kiley’s things. He wanted to, just wasn’t sure if Omar would like him buying his girlfriend gifts. Maybe that was stupid though. So he showed the girl the pile of clothes, told her to add whatever Kiley had in there, and gave her his card. Hoped nothing in there was for Omar.

  Maybe they were going to swap, be intimate with each other’s partners, but it was odd to let another man spend a few thousand on your girlfriend. Unless he figured that Mitch had so much to spend. But still. Pride and all. If Omar had bought Kate a gift, however small, it would make the other things he was going to do to her unworkable.