Tools of Ignorance: Lisa's Story

by Barbara L. Clanton

“Will do, Mrs. Brown.”

  Lisa walked up to the red Sebring, and was surprised at how nervous she was. Now that Sam was actually there, she couldn’t think of a single thing to say.

  Sam opened the passenger door, and Lisa got in. Sam walked behind the car and got in the driver’s side. Once she was seated in the driver’s seat and started the engine, Lisa’s hands began to sweat.

  Sam said, “So, we’ll head back to East Valley, okay? Helene is making lunch for us.” She smiled at Lisa, but the smile didn’t quite reach her eyes as if she wasn’t so sure how much to commit.

  “Okay. I’m, I’m looking forward to meeting her,” Lisa stammered.

  Sam nodded and headed out to C.R. 62 toward East Valley. They passed the McDonald’s billboard just outside of Clarksonville, and Lisa pointed. “Is that the one?”

  Sam nodded, but didn’t elaborate.

  After a few awkward minutes of silence, Sam cleared her throat and said she’d gone to Christy’s graduation ceremony and party afterward. “It was weird seeing Christy’s parents at a party in their own house.”

  Lisa laughed. “Yeah, I bet. Jeri’s graduation party was fun. We went to D’Amico’s, of course.”

  “Of course.”

  Lisa patted her stomach. “I’ve been eating way too much Italian food lately. I’m going to have to go on the grapefruit diet soon.”

  Sam looked her over appreciatively. “You? No, not you.”

  Lisa blushed and looked down at her hands in her lap. “Thanks for picking me up. I didn’t know how to get you to call me back. Sam, I honestly didn’t know Tara—”

  “I know,” Sam interrupted quietly, “but I don’t want to talk about any of that. Not yet. Let’s just enjoy the ride for now, okay?”

  Lisa nodded. “Okay.”

  The rest of the forty-five minute drive to East Valley was filled with small talk. Lisa desperately wanted to reach for Sam’s hand, but didn’t want to push things. Sam told her about the summer team she, Susie, and Marlee were playing on in East Valley. The coach, Coach Gellar, hoped Lisa would come out to the games to watch, so she could be part of the team while her hand healed. Other than that, they didn’t discuss anything important. Lisa was with Sam, and that’s all that really mattered. They drove through the town of East Valley, and just when it looked like they were heading back out into the wide open countryside, Sam put on her left blinker. Lisa hadn’t even noticed the private driveway.

  Sam drove up the narrow paved drive, through a thick stand of tall pines. A sturdy iron gate blocked the driveway and seemed impenetrable. She reached up to the visor and hit a button on a remote control. The gate swung open in front of them. She drove up the driveway slowly as if to give Lisa the full effect. A white mansion rose up in front of them, almost blocking out the sky.

  Sam drove up the slight incline and pulled around the circular drive. “I usually park in my garage over there,” she pointed to one of five garages they had passed, “but we won’t be here that long. I want to drive you around East Valley and show you why people call it Payton Valley behind our backs.”

  “Okay.” Lisa stepped out of the car and tried to steady her shaking hands. The front lawns rolled on and on as far as she could see. A large fountain surrounded by colorful flower gardens dominated the driveway. She recognized the tulips, daffodils, and roses, but not many of the other flowers. The garden was an obvious attempt to cheer up the yard, but with no sounds of children playing, dogs barking, motorcycles revving, it didn’t seem like home. Even the crows cawing in the distant pines added to the loneliness.

  Sam met her on the passenger side of the car. Lisa must have had a nervous look on her face because Sam said, “Don’t worry. My parents are still at the vacation house in Watertown.”

  “Okay.” Lisa hadn’t even gotten that far in her thoughts. She was still trying to take in the mansion and lawns without gawking openly. Seven or eight stone steps led up to the front door. Four giant pillars, columns, or whatever they were called, made Sam’s house look the Vanderbilt’s house. No, it’s not a house, it’s a freakin’ mansion.

  “What?” Sam asked.

  Oh, geez, she had said the last part out loud. “I said, ‘your house is a mansion.’ I’ve never seen one.” She swallowed hard and knew that Sam saw her do it. She was so nervous that she couldn’t think straight.

  Sam laughed. “It’s okay, Lisa,” she said quietly. “This is hard for me to show you all this, too.” Sam gestured up at the four columns. “That balcony is off my parents’ bedroom.”

  Lisa couldn’t help seeing that the balcony alone was wider than her entire house. The outdoor chandelier and elegant furniture looked expensive. She couldn’t begin to imagine what kind of furniture was inside the house.

  “And that section of the house,” Sam gestured toward a one-story section to the left of the main building, “is Helene’s quarters.”

  Helene’s quarters are bigger than my house, too Lisa thought, but simply nodded.

  “C’mon,” Sam said, “let’s go in so you can meet Helene.”

  Sam led the way up the stone steps, and Lisa tried to imagine Sam climbing them after school with a backpack slung over her shoulder. It was hard to picture. Sam held the front door open, and Lisa walked onto spotless marble floors. She couldn’t help noticing the colossal gold chandelier overhead. Several glass tables held crystal vases of fresh flowers as if that was their only function. An antique-looking red velvet couch sat on one side. The bedroom she shared with Bridget was smaller than the entryway where they stood.

  “This is the foyer,” Sam said. She pointed to a room on the left. “That’s the music room and Mom’s sitting room where the ladies come for tea in the afternoon.” She said the word ‘ladies’ with a hint of disdain. “That room further up the hall is Dad’s study. To the right is the kitchen and dining room and way in the back,” she pointed, “are the living room, TV room, recreation room, and fitness room. Oh, the pool is in the back with changing rooms and stuff. The tennis courts, maintenance shed, gardener’s cottage—they’re all out back.” She swept her arm toward the back of the house.

  Lisa nodded, but had gotten stuck on trying to figure out the differences between a living room, TV room, and recreation room.

  “Helene?” Sam called. “I’m home.”

  A youngish middle-aged woman stepped out of what must have been the kitchen, and wiped her hands on a towel hanging off her apron. She was absolutely gorgeous with high cheek bones, silky blond hair piled in a bun on her head, and elegant clothes. She was not what Lisa had expected of a nanny.

  Helene smiled. “Ah, you must be Lisa.” She held Lisa at arms’ length. “You are a gorgeous young lady.”

  Lisa felt her face get hot. “Thank you.” What else was she supposed to say to that?

  Helene let her go, looked at Sam, and said, “You were right. She’s stunning.” Helene smiled at Lisa.

  “Thanks, Helene. I know.”

  Lisa almost choked. She put a hand up to her mouth to hide her embarrassment.

  Sam smiled at Lisa and said, “C’mon, let me show you my room.”

  “Lunch will be ready in twenty minutes, girls.” Helene headed back toward the kitchen, but then called after Sam. “Door open, Samantha Rose.”

  “Okay, okay.” She put both hands out as if to keep Helene back. “It’ll be fine, Helene.”

  “Nothing like the last time, okay?”

  Lisa had no idea what they were talking about, but the crimson shade of Sam’s cheeks told her she probably didn’t want to know.

  At the top of the stairs, Sam turned and pointed toward the front of the house. “That’s my parents’ suite, like I showed you out front. My room’s in the back.”

  They turned right at the top of the stairs into what could only be called a wing. Sam led the way past several closed doors, but Lisa was afraid to ask what was behind them, afraid another wing of the mansion would appear. The plush red carpeted hallway seemed to go on for miles until
Sam paused in front of the last doorway on the left. She gestured for Lisa to go in first.

  Lisa walked in and found herself in a living room complete with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves overflowing with books. On one side of the room, a couch and two love seats formed a U in front of a wall-mounted flat screen television, DVD player, stereo, and various gaming equipment. More book shelves, a built-in desk, and two computer systems with several printers and scanners filled the other side. The room seriously looked like a room on a designer show, the kind her mother watched on HGTV.

  “Where are we?” Lisa asked.

  “My room.”

  “This is your room?”

  Sam nodded. “I do my homework and stuff there,” she pointed toward the desk area, “and I entertain friends in the TV area here.”

  “Where do you sleep?”

  “Oh, in here.” Sam walked over to a closed door at the far end of the room past the desk. Sam opened the door, but stood in the doorway. Lisa looked past her into a bedroom easily three times the size of her parents’ master bedroom. “I can’t—I’m not—” Sam sighed. “I’m not allowed to have friends in my actual bedroom, um, where my bed is.” Sam’s face turned a deep shade of red.

  “Okay. No bedroom. Check.” Lisa smiled to try to put Sam at ease, but felt her own cheeks get warm and doubted she was helping.

  “It’s Helene’s rule. My parents don’t know about the rule.” Sam bit her lip and looked at Lisa for a long while, searching her eyes for something, but before she had a chance to say anything, Helene’s voice shattered the quiet. Lisa jumped.

  “Is your front door still open?”

  Sam sighed and went to her desk. She hit a button on an intercom device. “Yes, Helene. It’s fine. I promise, promise, promise. Okay?”

  “Okay, I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me.”

  Sam looked back at Lisa and rolled her eyes. “She’s a little over protective.” She went back and re-closed the door to the off-limits bedroom “Let’s go sit, and I’ll tell you everything, okay?”

  “Okay.” Lisa wasn’t sure she wanted to hear the details, but if she and Sam were going to clear the air, it would have to be okay.

  They headed toward the couch and Sam sat on one end while Lisa sat on the other. Sam kicked off her sandals and put her feet on the couch in between them. Lisa did the same, except she kicked off her sneakers.

  “I’ve missed you, Lisa.”

  “Oh, God, me too.” They both chuckled.

  “I’m sorry I got jealous.”

  Lisa smiled. “I think we were both afraid of getting hurt.”

  Sam nodded. “You I trust. Tara not so much.”

  Lisa waved her off. “Oh, believe me. I handled her.” Lisa told her about the Rattle Syndrome and how she called Tara a predator scouring the nursery for jailbait.

  Sam put a hand to her mouth in disbelief. “And she didn’t rip your head off?”

  “Hey, I could have taken her, even with my bad hand.” She held up the hand with the soft cast.

  Sam leaned forward and reached for Lisa’s hand. “How is it? Can I see?”

  Lisa gestured for Sam to undo it.

  “You sure?”

  Lisa nodded, and Sam gently undid the Velcro straps.

  “Oh, Lisa. This looks so much better.” She rubbed it gently. “The bruising is all gone.”

  “It’s so weak though. I haven’t used it in three weeks.”

  “That’s how long we’ve been…” Sam looked down at the hand she held in her own.

  Lisa scooted closer. “We can’t do that stupidity anymore, okay? I’m sorry I knee-jerked when Susie made fun of me.”

  Sam smiled with sad eyes. “I should have told you sooner.”

  Lisa started to protest, but Sam interrupted, “No, I held that back from you on purpose. Susie wasn’t trying to make fun of you, either. She was trying to get me to do the right thing. She’d been on me for weeks to tell you, but I was being stubborn.”

  “You mean she wasn’t laughing at me?”

  Sam shook her head and grinned. “Uh, that’s a big no there. She was laughing at me.”

  “Okay. I thought maybe she was jealous of me or something.”

  “Susie? No, when we broke up, we parted amicably. I mean, it was my idea, but later on she agreed that we make better friends. And then she met Marlee, and I met you, and that’s all there is.”

  Lisa looked at the hand that Sam still held. “Are you ever going to let that go?”

  Sam shook her head. She lifted Lisa’s hand to her lips and gently kissed each knuckle. She turned the hand over, and kissed the palm. Lisa let out a sigh, it felt so good.

  Sam said, “I know we’re being truthful and honest with each other, so I need to tell you what happened.” She gestured to her closed bedroom door.

  Lisa wrapped her weak fingers around Sam’s hand and kissed the palm in answer. “Not right this second, okay. I just want to be close to you for a few minutes.”

  “Okay, but no more secrets. I promise.” Sam’s eyes were vulnerable.

  “Me, too. And no more knee-jerk spaz attacks for me.”

  “Me, either. And no more hanging up on you and not returning your calls. I’m sorry.” Sam stood up, gave Lisa’s hand a gentle squeeze, and let go. She ran to her front door, and swung it closed to within one inch. At Lisa’s raised eyebrows, Sam said, “Hey, it’s still open, isn’t it?”

  Lisa nodded and opened her arms. Sam filled them willingly.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Kissing Girls

  LISA WOKE TO the gentle sounds of her family getting ready for their day. Bridget and Lawrence Jr. loudly helped their mother in the kitchen. She couldn’t hear Lynnie, but guessed she was probably in one of two places—reading in her bedroom or reading in the living room. Her father would be gone already. Summer was roofing season and the busiest time of year for him.

  “Mama,” Bridget whined, “I want pancakes.”

  “Sweetpea, all this restaurant has right now is Cheerios. Maybe your big sister will make pancakes for lunch.”

  “Weesa!” Bridget yelled on the run.

  Lisa sat up and stretched to get ready for the three-year torpedo heading her way. Bridget threw open their bedroom door. “Weesa!”

  “Bridget,” Lisa admonished, “inside voice please.”

  Bridget threw herself on Lisa’s lap and whispered, “Could we have pancakes for wunch?”

  Lisa chuckled. “Sure, why not? Sam can help us make them, okay?”

  “Yea.” Bridget leaped up and bounced out of the room. “Mama, Weesa said we could have pancakes.”

  Lawrence Jr. started a chant of “Pancakes, pancakes, pancakes,” to which Bridget joined in with gusto. Lynnie added her voice to the chant, and Lisa laughed. Lynnie, apparently, had been reading in the living room.

  Lisa threw on her robe and headed toward the bathroom. Her mother intercepted her and pulled her into a quick hug. “The natives are restless,” she whispered into Lisa’s ear.

  Lisa laughed. “No kidding. Are you sure you want to start work today?” Lisa hoped her cheesy grin would at least make her mother laugh. “Maybe the Split Endz Hair Salon doesn’t need you for another week, maybe two.”

  Her mother did her best to look serious. “Not a chance.” She couldn’t hold the pose and laughed. “You’re on your own today, Lisa Bear. Call me if you need me, but Lisa?”

  “Eh?”

  “Don’t need me.”

  Lisa chuckled. “Okay.” She stepped into the bathroom, but her mother lingered. “Was there something else, Mom?”

  “Are you calling in reinforcements today?” Her mother’s expression grew serious.

  “Yeah. Sam’ll be here in about an hour. Around nine.” Lisa pulled her robe tighter because she knew what her mother was going to say next.

  “Just remember what we talked about.”

  “I know, Mom.” Lisa nodded. “When you get home, Sam’s going to take me to meet William and Ev
elyn in East Valley to get fitted for my bridesmaid dress, and after that we’re going to her softball game, okay?”

  “That’s the summer team in East Valley you want to play on when your hand is healed up?”

  Lisa nodded. “Yeah, I’m going to meet the coach and the players tonight.”

  “Okay.” Her mother smiled. “I’m glad you and Sam patched things up. It’s nice to see you happy again.”

  Lisa felt her cheeks heat up. “Me, too.”

  “Okay, go on and get your shower. I have to leave in fifteen.”

  “I’ll be quick.” Lisa closed the bathroom door.

  After her shower and a power bar for breakfast, Lisa walked the kids to the playground while she waited for Sam. Bridget and Lawrence Jr. happily played Tonka trucks in the sandbox. Lynnie, of course, sat on her usual bench reading one of the Harry Potter books. Lisa lay down on the bench nearest the sandbox. She squinted into the mid-morning sun and put a hand over her eyes. She pulled her braid out from underneath her and twirled the end thinking about her reconciliation with Sam the day before, her brother and sisters faded from her consciousness.

  LESS THAN TWENTY four hours before, Sam had closed the door to her front room to within an inch, technically within Helene’s guidelines, and then flew back to the couch into Lisa’s waiting arms. The warmth of Sam’s body pressed against hers felt like home. Lisa started shaking, wanting the moment to last forever, knowing it might not, but hoping beyond hope anyway. She sought out Sam’s lips and the connection between them intensified like a nor’easter slamming into the North Country. Hungrily Lisa ran her hands up and down Sam’s back while they kissed. They reluctantly broke off, and Lisa blinked back tears as she opened her eyes to look into Sam’s.

  Sam said, “Are you okay?” She pulled Lisa’s bad hand into both of her own.

  Lisa nodded, not trusting her voice. The things she felt with Sam were so intense, it scared her a little.

  “I love you, Lisa Anne Brown.”

  Lisa murmured, “Same,” and pulled Sam back into another heated kiss. Sam ran a finger lightly over the palm of Lisa’s hand.