IDLE: Book Four of The Seven Deadly Series

by Fisher Amelie

  His eyes bugged. “You pronounced my name correctly.”

  “Listen, is there a reason you stopped me? I’ve got to get back to Salinger and Bernard.”

  Tao looked behind me briefly and shifted and put his hands in his pockets. “Yeah, I’ve been meaning to ask you about that. Are you and Salinger, like, a thing or something?”

  I shook my head. “No, we’re just friends.”

  “Lily?” someone called for me. I recognized Salinger’s voice.

  I felt my stomach grow tight. I wonder if he heard that?

  “Just checking on you,” he said. “You coming?”

  “Uh, yeah.” I turned toward Tao. “If you’ll excuse me, we’re gonna sit with Bernard in the bar upstairs.”

  “Oh, really? You don’t mind if I join you, right?”

  I looked at Salinger, unsure what to say.

  “Uh, sure,” I told him.

  All three of us climbed the stairs to the main lobby and crossed the marble floor to the small bar there. Bernard sat at a table, sipping a drink.

  “You were gone forever!” he said to Salinger.

  “I was only gone two minutes, Bernard. Stop being dramatic.”

  Bernard leaned forward when I sat. He glanced at Tao but didn’t greet him.

  “Young lady,” he said.

  “Yes?”

  “Do you know who this man is?” he asked me.

  I coughed over a laugh. “Um, yes, I do.”

  “This is the boy you will play in the final round.”

  I turned to Tao. “I didn’t know you were playing this tournament.”

  “When I found out you would be here and since you were explicit when you said you wouldn’t be going to Nationals, I just knew I had to come see you for myself,” Tao told me.

  “Pish, posh!” Bernard interrupted. “She will be at Nationals. Why would you assume she wouldn’t be at Nationals?”

  “Because she told me so herself,” Tao answered him.

  Bernard stared at me like I had two heads.

  “You are going to Nationals. Period.”

  I turned toward Bernard and chose to ignore his demand. “Bernard, you don’t know if I will even make it to the final round.”

  Tao and Salinger looked at me, both boys with totally different expressions on their faces.

  Bernard rapped his knuckle on the table. “Absolute horse hockey. You are the best player here.”

  Tao grinned at me.

  “Well,” I argued, “Tao’s rating is so much higher than mine, Bernard. He’s the better player.”

  “Wrong,” he said. I felt my face and throat flame. “You are the best player here, probably the best player nationally, and even more likely to be the best player in the world.”

  He was giving me a panic attack. “Bernard!” I exclaimed. “You’re overestimating me!”

  He looked at me, actually met my eye line, something he’d rarely done. “That is an untruth. I have perfectly estimated you.”

  Tao watched me closely, very closely. He sat back in his chair, his head cocked to one side, tongued one of his eyeteeth, and smiled. He made me very uncomfortable.

  “Excuse me, young man!” Bernard called out to the bartender. He stood and approached the bar, unaware of the tension at the table.

  I looked toward Salinger, but he wasn’t looking at me, he was looking at Tao.

  “He’s overestimating me,” I said quietly, staring at my hands on the table.

  “I guess we’ll find out,” Tao said, standing up. I looked up at him and he leaned over me, his hand resting on the table next to my own hands. “Don’t you dare lose in the first few rounds.” He stood upright again, stuck his hands in his pockets, and walked back through the lobby.

  I watched him walk to the stairs then turned back toward Salinger. I was ready to say something to him but the expression on his face confused me. He almost looked angry at me. He couldn’t possibly be angry at me, right?

  “What’s wrong?” I asked him.

  He looked down at the table. “Nothing,” he lied. “I’ll be right back,” he said, standing up and walking out.

  “Wait! Salinger!” I called after him, but he ignored me.

  I watched his back disappear under the stairs and wanted to chase after him, but I didn’t want to leave Bernard either. He sat next to me again.

  “This man didn’t know what a sidecar was. Despicable. Calling himself a bartender.” I turned his direction. He looked around the table. “Where are Salinger and Tao?”

  “I think I scared them off.”

  “Unlikely,” he commented. “You’re not frightening.”

  “I just meant I must have said or done something to offend them both.”

  “You must remedy that then,” he said, sipping his drink.

  “I don’t care so much to chase after Tao, but I do want to find Salinger.”

  “Check his room.”

  “We’re not staying here.”

  “What? That is ridiculous. No, I’ll have none of that. Come here, young lady,” he demanded.

  I followed him into the lobby.

  “They had rooms available,” I explained, not sure what he was so upset about and taking a shot in the dark. “We just can’t afford them.”

  “That is such a stupid reason to not do anything.”

  I laughed. “Some would disagree with you, Bernard.”

  He studied me. “I suppose. I’ve never really had that problem, though. My family was rich and I made a lot of money in tournaments before I left the circuit. I invested well.”

  I stifled a giggle. “That’s wonderful, Bernard.”

  We stood at the front desk until someone called us.

  “What are you doing?” I asked him.

  “I’m getting you two a room.”

  “No, seriously, Bernard, we don’t have the cash for this.”

  “I know this, daft girl! I’m getting you two a pair of rooms.”

  “Bernard! That’s too expensive. I can’t let you do that.”

  He waved me off as he usually did.

  “Mr. Calvin, a pleasure to see you again,” the desk clerk said, but I could tell he most definitely did not actually feel that way. “How can I help you?”

  “Yes, I need two rooms.”

  “Two more rooms?” he asked.

  “Is there someone here who is not incompetent?” he responded.

  “Bernard!” I kindly chided. “That’s rude.”

  “It’s fine,” the clerk told me. “I’m sorry, Mr. Calvin. Yes, I can get two more rooms for you. Would you like the same number of nights?”

  “I am only staying one night. That is the minimum and maximum. Are you sure there isn’t someone else here who might be able to help me? Not that inept bartender, though.”

  I’m sorry, I mouthed to the clerk.

  “One night it is,” the clerk replied.

  He printed up a receipt and handed Bernard two plastic entry keys.

  “Thank you, young man. You have performed satisfactorily.”

  “My pleasure, sir.”

  We walked off and Bernard handed me a key. “Here you are, young lady.”

  “Thank you, Bernard. It’s really very nice of you.”

  “I am not nice. I am merely making it so you will be closer to the tournament. I want to make sure you are at your optimal tomorrow.”

  I smiled a knowing smile at him. “Sure, Bernard. Of course.”

  Bernard and I walked around for a few minutes trying to find Salinger but people kept approaching us wanting to talk to Bernard, and eventually he became overwhelmed, so I walked him back to his room. I went to the front desk to have them take my and Salinger’s luggage out of storage and delivered to our rooms. We’d had them store it while we registered and had plans on taking it out before we left for our own hotel.

  I made the rounds in the ballroom but didn’t find him. Right when I was ready to give up and head for bed since it was getting late, I decided to try the skitt
les room once more.

  That’s where he was. Standing in a circle with Tao Zhang, Peter Aurek, Lyric, and a bunch of other people around our age. He laughed at something Lyric said and my stomach fell to my feet. I thought about going up to him and giving him his key to his new room but thought better of it. I decided, instead, I would text him my room number and he could pick it up himself whenever he was ready. The idea of approaching that group gave me so much anxiety I nearly felt sick.

  I turned around near the door and started to exit the room.

  “Lily!” someone called out to me. “Where are you going!”

  I stopped where I stood and tried to compose myself before turning around.

  It was Tao. He was waving me over to him.

  Oh my God, should I just bail right here? I knew I couldn’t do that or risked looking really stupid so I steeled my nerve and started walking their direction.

  “Guys,” Tao introduced, “this is Lily. She’s the one who beat Aurek last week in Austin.”

  Everyone started teasing Peter, but he surprised me by blushing and waving at me.

  “Hi, Lily, nice to see you again,” he greeted.

  “Hi, Peter,” I spoke softly.

  “So, Lily here is rumored to be trained by Bernard Calvin,” Tao added, slapping even more unwanted attention on me.

  Everyone standing had open, gaped mouths, as if they couldn’t believe what he’d said.

  “He’s just a nice man who helped me with the competition part of tournament. I’d only ever played online before Austin,” I tried to explain away.

  “Oooh,” one guy I didn’t know laughed and pushed his forearm into Peter’s shoulder, “you got beat by a newbie?”

  Peter blushed again. “Just you wait, Callahan. Pray you don’t cross her path,” he said, surprising me yet again.

  The group got quiet and I stared at my feet, placed my nervous hands in the back pockets of my shorts.

  “Good to have another girl around, huh, Lyric?” some guy asked her.

  My heart started to race.

  “Yeah,” Lyric dodged. She smiled, but it didn’t feel friendly and she avoided eye contact. Instead, she stared off to the side when she answered him.

  “Lyric, I didn’t see your name on the roster,” Peter commented.

  Lyric’s face tinged pink. “Yeah, I, uh, didn’t make the ratings minimum.”

  “Damn,” Tao said, coughing around a laugh.

  I actually felt sorry for her but knew anything I could say at that moment, regardless how kind I meant it, would be interpreted as anything but.

  “She’ll get them back up,” Salinger said, coming to her rescue, and speaking for the first time since I’d joined the group. He smiled at her. “Won’t you?” He pushed his shoulder into hers.

  She smiled at him and he smiled back.

  This is so selfish to admit, but I felt so betrayed for some reason. Can’t be betrayed by someone who doesn’t belong to you, moron. It felt more painful than I thought it would, though, because it was made worse in that Salinger hadn’t looked at me, hadn’t greeted me, hadn’t met my eyes once since I’d joined the group.

  Can inaction hurt your feelings? The answer to that was yes. He was idle in being my friend, I thought, and I deserved more respect than that. I stared up at the ceiling desperately trying to keep myself from crying. It wouldn’t make sense to anyone around me, and I didn’t know any of them well enough to explain it away. I didn’t want a reputation.

  I took a deep breath and let it out slowly while they kept up a conversation I wasn’t following.

  “What about you, Lily?” Tao asked me.

  I looked at him. “What?”

  He laughed at me. “Where have you been?

  “Just thinking,” I told him softly.

  “You’re kind of weird.”

  I felt my face heat up. I stood awkwardly, not sure what to say. I was a confident, quick-witted person around my friends but get me around strangers and I struggled fiercely.

  “Isn’t everybody?” Peter Aurek commented and everyone laughed.

  It was apparent Peter’s attempt to intimidate me at our game had embarrassed him and he was trying to make up for it. I liked that about him. I smiled at him in thanks, my cheeks growing hotter by the second. He smiled back.

  That was the moment Salinger chose to look at me, or rather through me. His stare cold daggers.

  “Can I talk to you for a second, Salinger?” I asked him.

  “Later,” he told the floor, putting me on the spot.

  Everyone stared between us, and it all felt a little heavy. Right when I was about to tell everyone good night, though, one of the guys I didn’t know broke the tension by telling a funny story about how he lost his last tournament to a seven-year-old kid from Seattle. While everyone laughed, I noticed Lyric leaning into Salinger as she spoke into his ear. He laughed at whatever she said, and I decided I didn’t want to be there anymore.

  “Well, guys, it’s getting late, I’m gonna head up to my room, catch a few winks.”

  I started to walk backward and waved. Everyone waved back and told me good night. I turned for the door and fought the urge to run.

  When I turned into the hall, I remembered Bernard’s room key for Salinger.

  “Gosh damn it,” I whispered to no one.

  I decided to take the key to the front desk. They agreed to keep it in an envelope for him to pick up at his convenience, so I texted him what Bernard had done and headed toward my room. Most everyone had cleared out at that point as it approached midnight. The first match was just after lunch, though, so I knew I could sleep in, if I wanted, or even work on endgame strategies.

  Keep it together, Lily. I got on the elevator and pressed for my floor, praying it wouldn’t stop again.

  Remember the list, Lily.

  Focus on winning tomorrow, Lily.

  It’ll be okay, Lily.

  Won’t it, Lily?

  Will it, Lily?

  Your sisters seemed happy, didn’t they, Lily?

  They don’t need you anymore, Lily.

  Salinger’s grown tired of you, Lily.

  So who are you doing all this for, Lily?

  You don’t know anymore, do you, Lily?

  Oh my God, you’re not worth it, Lily.

  Worthless Lily.

  Stupid Lily.

  Lost Lily.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  THE HECTIC HAD CAUGHT up to me and I was teetering on a knife’s edge. It was all proving a lot for one person to take.

  I’d lost my mom.

  Lost my sisters.

  I was assaulted and tormented by Trace.

  I’d had to avoid eye contact with everyone in a town I knew had seen pictures of my naked body and whose antiquated ideas probably led them to believe I was some kind of whore.

  I endured the emotional turmoil of fighting for my sisters.

  And the physical toll of making our house livable so I could get them back.

  I quit a drug I’d always used to help me cope.

  I’d held in the enormous, unbelievable grief I felt for Mama.

  And struggled to come to terms with my role in her death.

  And the guilt I felt for the girls losing their mother.

  I tried my hardest not to let all of the above send me over the edge.

  I did all that while striving not to fall in love with someone I didn’t deserve.

  I was proving idle, worthless, ineffective. I was losing. I knew I was losing. I felt it.

  I’d relied too heavily on Salinger and I just had this feeling he was done being my friend. I knew boys. They were simple. Not dumb, just, you know, uncomplicated. They either liked you or they didn’t. Something had happened, something had clicked for him, I thought. He wasn’t acting angry or pissed. He was usually blunt enough to tell me when something bothered him. He acted exactly like a boy who’d had a change of heart. I was familiar with that behavior. I was privy to its inner workings.
<
br />   And I didn’t think there was a cure for a change of heart.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  I FELL ASLEEP IMMEDIATELY. I knew life always looked different in the light of day, at least that’s what I’d hoped. Around three in the morning, though, I was woken up by a few loud partiers across the hall. I tried everything I could to get back to sleep to no avail. They were getting louder and louder and louder until finally I couldn’t take any more.

  I threw the covers off me and opened my room door to see Lyric, of all people, in T-shirt and wind shorts, her hair sticking up at all angles.

  “You’re waking up the whole damn floor!” She was yelling at four obviously inebriated men.

  They all turned toward me when I opened my door.

  “Lyric?” I asked, my voice scratchy from sleep.

  She ignored me and turned back toward the men. They had the decency to appear appropriately checked.

  “So sorry,” one of them said. The others fought a giggle but kept quiet. “We’ll keep it down.”

  They went back into their room and shut their door. As Lyric turned around, she glanced at me but didn’t acknowledge me. She went straight into Salinger’s room, closing the door behind her.

  I stood there, my heart racing, my stomach queasy.

  Why is she in Salinger’s room?

  What is Lyric doing in Salinger’s room?

  Oh my God, I’m so stupid.

  I stood there, my mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water.

  Well, if that isn’t a giant bucket of ice water…

  Confirmed.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  “GET UP,” I quieted to myself for the hundredth time that morning.

  I fought the urge to stay where I was, to forget everything, and just let the world swallow me up how it saw fit. I’d cried for hours, cried myself back to sleep, only to wake up at eleven in the morning and cry again. I had an hour before my first round was to begin.

  I didn’t know what to do. I honestly didn’t know what to do.