A Life Awakening: Whispers from Within. Ethan Elliot Series, Book One.

by Ryan Stevenson

  After checking in, he found it was a short walk over to a place called Charlie's Road House and Ice Cream Stand. Charlie's wife, Myrtle, was a portly woman with black horned-rimmed glasses and a non-filtered cigarette hanging from her lower lip. Her apron, tied just under her pendulous breasts, had enough food stains on it to become a meal in itself. She looked at Ethan as he walked up to the window and bellowed in her southern drawl, “Boy! What will it be?”

  After looking at a menu on the wall that seemed to have dated back to the 1950's and had seen better days, he decided on a deep fried chicken sandwich with coleslaw, and what appeared to be iced tea, in a container with several dead flies floating in it. It was time for another whisper session. “Ethan,” I said, “Really? No, you don't want the iced tea; go for the bottled Mountain Dew and pray your ass off that the mayo used in making the coleslaw was tinged yellow from the bug lights that surrounded this hole-in-the-wall, and not a left-over condiment from the Civil War.”

  After bringing his food to his room, Ethan sat down on the bed with a mattress that must have dated back to the turn of the century, as he could feel the springs pressing against his ass as he sunk lower towards the floor. To make matters worse, he was getting ready to hurl from the smell of mold and mothballs coming from the bathroom.

  Again I intervened and whispered to Ethan: “Isn't this fun, Kid? Not to worry, you'll be out of here before you hear the first rooster crowing at the break of dawn; but I would definitely find a couple of plastic bags to tie around your feet if you’re going to use the shower.”

  Chapter 8: Almost in the Promised Land

  When daybreak arrived it was time to move on, getting ever closer to the end of his road trip. At least that's the thought I had to place in his head so as to forget the emotional pain he had left behind. As he got into old Nellie, I whispered again, “Ethan, this is going to be the start of a great new life, so chin up and let's get the hell out of here already.” So off he went.

  At first blush you might think that this spirit guide stuff is a piece of cake. Not! It takes great patience and determination in helping those that require such intervention, but this was my assignment as long as Ethan had breath in himself, and I actually was having some fun for a change. Contrary to popular belief, it isn't as easy as it looks to keep people like Ethan on the straight and narrow, as he can be a handful at times.

  After several hours and breezing through the land of the Ku Klux Klan, we reached the great swamp state of Louisianan's crawfish country. “No stopping now, Ethan. A few more hours and we'll hit Texas.” I noticed that the heat gauge was getting dangerously high. “Ethan,” I whispered yet again, “are you sure you have water in your radiator?”

  It must have sunk in, because the kid pulled over to a gas station, as he needed gas anyway, and he had them throw some water and antifreeze into the reservoir. Then off we went for the final leg of the journey to San Antonio.

  Finally, after crossing another state line yet again, Ethan hit Texas. He couldn't help but to think he was one step closer to a new life. A new beginning and the chance to start over. As he drove over the nearly flat terrain, he noticed the summer sun passing through the clouds above, which seemed to make the ground change in color, with varying hues found only on a painter’s palate. So this is Texas, he mused. Yes, Ethan, you’re nearly at the end of this leg of your journey. However, as in the many lives I've had to deal with, the real journey and life lessons are just about to begin.

  Chapter 9: Uncle Peter

  Never let it be said that a great road trip to another state doesn't help one forget his troubles, because for Ethan, getting away was doing him a world of good. Texas, to Ethan, was like another world. A vast landscape that went on as far as the eye could see. And then, while driving through the flat lands, he began to notice signs of civilization as he got closer to his destination of San Antonio, where his uncle Peter was waiting to welcome him.

  Finally, the end of the road. Ethan double-checked the address on the mailbox before shutting off his engine, and yes, this was the place. The final leg of the trip had taken nearly 12 hours and as Ethan tried getting out of his seat, he could feel his clothes tearing away from his skin, his back soaked with sweat to the point that he thought he had actually become an integral part of the car. But it felt good just to get up, walk around, and stretch.

  Ethan's Uncle Peter was a tall, lanky man, who knew the lay of the land, so to speak, and had several job offers ready for Ethan to look into if he chose. He was on the side of the house, watering plants when Ethan arrived; and as Ethan stood ringing the doorbell, a head popped up from around the corner of the house. “Hi, Ethan, how was the trip down?”

  Ethan smiled and greeted Peter and the two went in for a cool drink. After a few more pleasantries, Peter asked Ethan what his immediate plans were? Ethan smiled as he eyed the bathroom, and said, “A warm shower would work wonders just about now.”

  After unpacking the car, Ethan relaxed in the warmth of his Uncle Peter’s hospitality. Eventually they decided to head out to dinner, where they both continued to catch up on old times, family matters, and Ethan’s expectations for the immediate future.

  But spirit guides do have the ability to look into one’s future, and I knew that those magnificent wheels were grinding away in Ethan's head. You see, Ethan is really a people person, when you come right down to it. Remember how that magnetic smile of his could light up a room or the female heart in a New York minute. Where he would take such prowess was yet to be seen.

  Chapter 10: The Employment Challenge

  Ethan's uncle had several suggestions regarding work, but Ethan was looking for something different. After a couple of days, Ethan picked up a local paper and began searching for positions in which he might do well. He was looking for some job in which he would have a lot of interaction with people. Previously, he had spent some time as a waiter in a restaurant, so another job as waiter seemed like the perfect solution, especially since the tips had always been good for Ethan, with his great smile. And almost before he knew it, he was on the floor of a nearby restaurant, meeting and greeting customers from varied walks of life.

  San Antonio is a curious mix of nationalities other than natural-born Americans. There were Mexicans, Asians, Middle Easterners, and a scattering of a few other nationalities; but Ethan thrived in such environments because he truly loved mixing it up with people, and he somehow knew that his smile would gain him many new friends in short order. Perhaps it might be better at this point in Ethan's story to provide greater insight into who this young man is, and to reveal the emotionally complex layers of Ethan's last relationship.

  Chapter 11: Trying to Fill the Void

  As I had said earlier, Ethan came from a broken home and pretty much grew up under his mom's supervision. But there was always that certain something missing in Ethan's life, and loneliness he just couldn't shake. An absent father in the family for a period of time after the divorce didn’t help matters. Finally, George, Ethan's biological father, was replaced with another man, which still didn't seem to fill this particular void. It was an emptiness that Ethan always tried to fill on many occasions, and not in the best of ways. Perhaps that's why Ethan felt as badly as he did after his last break-up, believing that this would be the one that would last a lifetime. In reality, however, it wasn't meant to be, because Ethan had far more to look forward to in what would eventually turn out to be a life that many of his age could only dream of. As I said earlier, we in the spirit guide brigade do have some leeway in pointing you in the right direction, but in the end, life is full of choices. The only question that always remains to be answered seems to be: Is it the right one?

  When it came to relationships with woman, Ethan always seemed to be trying to fill an emptiness that related to that which he felt was missing in his family. Yet it always seemed he was trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, until he had met what, in Ethan's mind, was the one. As I said earlier, after nearly two
years together, Jennifer had dropped the proverbial bombshell while they were driving to a local restaurant back in New York. Devastated and at wit’s end, feeling the loss and believing that this failure must have been all his fault, Ethan, like so many before him, sank into a depression. But there was still a significant resolve within the young man to somehow find a way to move forward.

  To Ethan's way of thinking, he believed that this failure once again was his. He was far too blinded by his feelings, as all he knew was that the emptiness that he had for so long tried to fill, had yet again become the empty well of love and belonging which was beyond his grasp.

  Chapter 12: Just Letting Go

  As I said, Ethan is a Pisces, the Zodiac sign of two fish swimming in opposite directions. Through no fault of their own, Pisceans always feel guilty when it comes to an inability in making decisions and sticking with them. Do I stay or do I go? Is this the right move or maybe there is another way? This was always a part of Ethan's psychological fabric, a constant questioning and almost minute-by-minute indecision, colored with a healthy heaping spoonful of a lack of self-esteem, which wasn't helping. Ethan knew he needed structure, and yet he was at a loss in developing those attributes that would allow him to lead an unquestionably fulfilled life. But again, Ethan was growing and evolving so that in this transition period he would surprise even himself in what he soon was to learn about himself, and this wondrous thing called life.

  Ethan had a drive to succeed at any cost, and now at the age of thirty-three, there was that uneasiness that would come over him that time was running out to set his true path in life. What Ethan couldn't know was that the life he had always dreamed of wasn't really that far off on the horizon, if only he could get his act together rather than letting his internal emotional turmoil drive him off course; and yes, free will would again set Ethan's path in the near term. As Ethan's spirit guide, I've often mused at just how much more easy life could be for mankind if he would only learn, as they say in AA, to let go and let God. There really is no religious connection to that statement. The man upstairs didn't create religion, you guys down there did. Just let life happen, people. Follow the river of life from whence it came to where it goes and just enjoy the ride. The boss upstairs will have it no other way. He gave you the life your soul chose. Now go and do something creative with it.

  Now that Ethan was beginning to settle in, having a roof over his head, he cornered his uncle one morning and told him that he very much appreciated the hospitality, but he really wanted to get a place of his own. Peter knew the feeling and smiled. "Whatever makes you happy Ethan," he said. “Do you have any irons in the fire?”

  Little did Peter know that Ethan did, and had recently taken a position at a local restaurant, industrious little devil that he is. Ethan had come to realize that if this is where he was in his life at this moment in time, that he was going to make the best of it. Ethan had a plan, and just the right new friends he recently had met to help him make it possible.

  Chapter 13: Others Have it Worse Off

  Enter James Owens. Ethan has always had a knack for making friends, and one of his co-workers was a fellow named James. A twenty-something, who sadly had contracted HIV as a young gay man, yet never had seen his disease as a limiting factor in his life. Ethan's natural inclination toward the less fortunate was one of his best attributes, and within a short period of time the two had become friends. James was quick to point Ethan in the right direction in looking for an affordable place of his own, as well as showing him the sights around San Antonio.

  James was very perceptive. After talking to Ethan over the next few weeks, he came to understand that Ethan had been carrying a heavy emotional burden since his break-up with Jennifer; so he had allowed himself to be there for Ethan, which helped in the healing process.

  There was certainly an added benefit for Ethan in having met James, as it really put into perspective Ethan's own problems. After all, dealing with a life-and death issue like HIV seemed to outweigh by far Ethan's problem of a love lost. Ethan also respected the fact that, while working long hours at the restaurant, James also volunteered at a local animal shelter. Yet James still had found the time to show Ethan some of the sights in the city, like the River Walk, which appeared to be the ultimate oasis right in the middle of a major metropolitan area. Built along a winding river through the city, the River Walk was punctuated by boutique shops, restaurants, and the sounds of country western music wafting through he air.

  James also had an adventurous side to him, and one day asked Ethan if he had ever gone skydiving? I wondered about this thing that you folks do from time to time. I thought to myself, Ethan, an adrenalin junkie? Well why not; at least as long as his chute opens.

  And sure enough, one day James drove Ethan to a local airport outside of town. After thirty minutes of prep work and training, the two of them were cruising at twelve thousand feet and ready for the rush of a lifetime. This was way beyond bungee jumping. The instructor on the plane gave them the thumbs up and it was then bombs away!

  Chapter 14; You Want to Do What?

  I have to admit that for spirit guides, the thrill of hurtling through the air toward the ground does seem to have our mode of travel beat by a mile, as all we have to do is think of a place and in the blink of an eye we're there. First it was James who jumped solo, because he had done this many times before. Then it was Ethan’s turn. Without hesitation, Ethan, in tandem with his instructor, jumped, and suddenly they were free falling.

  For the briefest of moments Ethan thought, WTF did I get myself into?

  Then I sensed an almost calming effect as Ethan began to relax while taking in the fantastic view, seemingly without a care in the world. Only the sound of wind rushing past his face broke the silence on the descent, as they both picked up speed.

  After what seemed like an eternity, the instructor pulled the ripcord. With a sudden jerk upwards, the chute opened, and it was then only a matter of seconds before both had landed safely back on solid ground. Ethan had just realized that he had defeated his fear of heights that had been with him since he was a child, and turning towards James he exclaimed, “WOW! Let's do it again!”

  James laughed it off and said, “Maybe another time, Ethan,” as both of them had to get ready for their shift at work. But James was very perceptive in realizing that this little diversion had at least, for the moment, short-circuited Ethan's sadness over his break-up. Things were getting better.

  Chapter 15: Which Direction Now?

  Ethan was slowly learning what sometimes takes others a lifetime to understand. Yes, life can throw us a curve every now and then, but it's not the end of life as we know it. Just maybe there was truth in what many had told Ethan over the years, that things in our lives do happen for a reason; yet it's how we process our feelings that really matters. We have to strive to go forward, not letting our emotions get the better of us to the point that life begins feeling like a living hell, or that we were trapped within a bubble of erratic emotions with no escape. Yes, it can be a bit more difficult for Ethan, the Piscean, as Pisceans live and breathe the very emotions that they thrive on. Yet with understanding and time, Ethan was beginning to put his troubles into perspective. He was beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel; and oddly enough, with James' help, Ethan was learning that the river of life does continue to move forward, regardless of the diversionary directions people may take from time to time.

  There were others at work who were also instrumental in helping Ethan continue his life's journey, and one particular standout was Jackie Montoya, the manager at the restaurant. Do you recall what I've said about Ethan's magnetic smile and personality? When Ethan had arrived for his interview, Jackie didn't have a prayer in denying Ethan the position. He was hired on the spot and warmly welcomed.

  At this point I really do have to take just a moment to offer a perspective that I'm sure many have sensed, having come this far in Ethan's life, and perhaps, as well, in your own lif
e travels. Billions of people on earth live their daily lives without giving a second thought about those people with whom they interact every day. But there is a method to this madness. Some may refer to it as divine intervention, being in the right place at the right time, or even just dumb luck. But as I said earlier in Ethan's voyage, whether you believe it or not, everything in your life happens for a reason. Your life, over time, will encounter many paths, each a diversion from your true path in life.

  The age-old question always remains: which is the correct path to take? Which road will lead to a dead end, only making you then back-track and try yet another path that will move you forward? No one ever said that your life was going to be easy, but as you’re beginning to understand, it is the very people you interact with on your journey, coupled with your free will, that in the end will decide if the path you have chosen was the right one.

  Chapter 16: Kind Hearts and the Wisdom from Within

  Jackie Montoya was an interesting character in Ethan's story. She was just entering into her sixtieth decade of life, and really must have been into sun worshiping, as she had the wrinkled skin of a water buffalo along with the graveled voice of Kathleen Turner. But Ethan was very adept at sizing up people within the first sixty seconds of meeting them, and immediately had that special vibe about Jackie. Somewhere deep inside this woman was a heart of gold. Every day Jackie either would be standing by the cash register or walking the floors of the restaurant, keeping an ever-present vigil on both her customers, as well as her staff.

  One day it was pouring outside and foot traffic into the restaurant was at a crawl. Ethan had bussed his last table and for a brief moment was just standing, staring out the large picture window in front of his booth, watching the rain, nearly being hypnotized at the sound of the drops hitting the roof. Thinking was Ethan's specialty, because he totally loved being immersed in thought and emotion. Jackie caught Ethan at his most pensive moment, and walked over to him. “Hey, Hun,” in her deep, raspy, southern drawl, “feel like talking?”