The Best Friend: A Young Adult Romance Story

by Ally Williams

  Half way through, my back faces everyone as I gaze down at the extravagant cake sitting on a table in the corner of the room. I brush my wavy hair to the right, letting it rest on my shoulder so none of it falls in the food.

  The skin on my back tickles like someone is tapping it, but it’s so light, I barely feel it.

  Then I feel it again, only a little harder this time.

  When I turn around, I’m startled by his forest-green orbs burning in mine, his lips twitching up in a nervous smile as he reaches a shaky hand out to me.

  “Dance with me?”

  Chapter 41

  Elsie

  My viciously pounding heart burns in my chest as I wonder, Is this some kind of a sick joke? The absolute last thing I need to wedge its way into such a beautiful day is our constant drama.

  I’m positive I look just as stunned on the outside as I feel on the inside because the pain has been hard. As pathetic it is to say, as I stand in front of the boy I fell in love with, for the first time in what feels like forever, some of the agony disappears.

  “One dance, that’s all I’m asking for. Please?” His dull irises plead with my own, his trembling hand still thrust towards me while his voice holds so much gentleness.

  I visibly slouch at the sound of his voice, all of my defenses falling to the marble floor in shambles. I can’t help but nod, causing a glint in his eyes to ignite. With an uneasy breath, I lay my palm in his, watching his fingers curl around my own with care before tugging me to the dance floor.

  It’s even more obvious that I need to move on because I still can’t deny him.

  “You look beautiful.” Hayden compliments me, stopping once we’re in the middle of all the swaying bodies.

  I thank him quietly, trying to compose myself as he rests a hand on my hip to pull me closer while the other intertwines with my fingers in the air. I avoid direct eye contact at all costs, wetting my lips before gulping down the anxiousness.

  I’ll give him just one dance before I shatter whatever may be left of my heart just for the sake of moving on. Suddenly, I’m the one shaking with nerves against his body, tears burning at the small twinge of nostalgia from being in his warm embrace that has been there for me through mostly everything.

  It’s too much, all of it.

  Not to mention my mother is looking away from the group she’s conversing with to send me a sly look, mouthing, ‘Tell him.’

  All of the steps I’ve taken forward to a better life suddenly dissipate, and it feels like I’ve only run backward.

  For so long, everything felt like a thousand-pound weight on my chest, and then it didn’t. But now, it all falls back on me at once, and it’s crushing me.

  “I screwed up the best thing in my life,” Hayden says, bringing our hands to him, holding them against his chest. “I hurt you so many times, and I’m so sorry, Elsie. I had everything I could ever want and need right in front of me, and I knew it, but I was scared. I was scared that you wouldn’t feel the same, terrified I would lose you to someone else, but somehow managed to selfishly convince myself you weren’t going anywhere. I didn’t realize how much I’d miss you until you were really gone, but I’m here to get you back.”

  During his entire spew of an apology, I feel his eyes burning into mine, but I keep them trained on his chest because I don’t know what else to do. How am I supposed to respond to that? Everything about it is compassionate and pleading, which only leads to me feeling like the room is closing in, and I know I can’t stop the hot tears that are threatening to fall.

  With as much strength as I can muster, I step back from his iron grip that had me caged in. My dark brown gaze falls to the floor as I whip around to walk away quickly, ignoring the calls of my name from him.

  I don’t want to cause a scene in the middle of a wedding reception, and I know it would come if I stayed. I just need to get away; I have to. That selfish part of me wants to turn around and crash into his arms like some perfect movie, claiming we can fix this, but we can’t.

  Without even realizing where my feet are leading me, I find myself on a roof of the extravagant hotel with the winter air surrounding me to nip at my bare arms. Something about these damn roofs.

  My eyes flutter shut, and I grip the railing I’m looking over when I hear heavy footsteps following behind, and the sound of a door shutting follows.

  “Why did you walk away like that?” Hayden questions with heavy breaths, and I turn around to see him advancing towards me, faltering when he sees my tear-stained cheeks. “I know you feel the same way, El. You have to have missed me, us.”

  “That’s the thing…” I breathe out, trying to get rid of the anxiety that’s trying to claw its way up. “I do feel the same, Hayden. I’ve felt that way about you for as long as I can remember. It’s just too late now.”

  I’m finally admitting things I would have been utterly petrified to tell him a month ago. Why hold back now? I don’t have anything else to lose except him, and we’re already on our way to that. Next month, I’ll be on a plane out of this place and on to something new.

  “Don’t say that.” He steps closer and closer, eyes clouded with wetness. “It’s not too late, please.” You can practically hear the pain and desperation coating his tone, and I hate it.

  Tears pour out of my eyes like a waterfall, but that small pinch of anger still hits my chest. Why now? After all he’s put me through for years, why is it so important for him to try and keep me around now? Is it because I’ve shown him that he can actually lose me? Or is it to keep me around so I can constantly pick up his broken pieces?

  He reaches to caress my hands, tear streaks taking home on his face as well. The pain we share seems to be interlocked, almost like our hearts, in a way.

  I shake my head, pulling away from him, but his grip only tightens. Instead of releasing me, he uses our connected hands as leverage to pull me to him. My chest crashes with his, his warm lips connecting with mine in seconds.

  My eyes involuntarily close, which goes against every screaming voice in my heart that is telling me to pull away; this isn’t healthy. Instead, I melt into him. Hayden’s arm snakes around to hold me as close as he can, one hand cupping my cheek while his thumb wipes away the tears that mix with his, but neither of us cares. We just focus on this, something we’ve only had a couple of times. It feels almost desperate, like a last resort to try and convince me. He’s put all the love, passion, and warmth into it. Like I’ve finally come home.

  My nose burns with emotion, and I continue to cry against my own will while my subconscious scolds me because I know there isn’t anything we can do to mend this right now. What happened to us? Where did we go wrong? Why couldn’t we have just been normal friends? We’ve caused each other so much grief and hurt to the point of it being exhausting.

  We’ve haven’t directly admitted our feelings, but they’re obviously there. Friends don’t just kiss whenever, and if someone didn’t care, then they wouldn’t take hurtful or sweet words to heart. They sure as hell wouldn’t have sex.

  I come to my sense just in time, pulling from him. The blood in my body goes from being warm like I’m sitting on fire to ice in a split second.

  For the first time since I’ve seen him tonight, I look in his eyes—really look. There is so much remorse, anguish, misery, heartache, and torment, but there is a splash of care and devotion mixed in.

  I’m so sorry we couldn’t be who we wanted for each other.

  That apology I mutter in my head is enough. I graze my knuckles against his cheek lovingly, one last time before I brush past him to return downstairs and put a smile on my face like nothing has happened, but his next words stop me dead in my tracks.

  “I’m in love with you!” he blubbers out in a frenzy and sobs. I can’t help but turn around to see the pain-stricken boy with messy curls nibbling on his swollen lips.

  After that confession, I can’t even gain the courage to look him in the eyes, not when I’m about to crush all his hop
e with just a few words.

  “I’m leaving for South Africa in a few weeks, and I’ll be gone for eight months, Hayden,” I say not to embarrass him, but maybe he’ll take it back so all of this will be easier on the both of us.

  His mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water, his tears ceasing completely as he looks to me with complete shock. “When do you leave?”

  I feel guilty, and I don’t have a clue why. “Right after New Year’s.”

  The devastation that takes over his face almost has me in a puddle of tears and apologies—almost. I can’t allow myself to go there; I won’t. His whole world as he knows it looks to be crashing down around him and I can’t say I feel any different.

  So many years I yearned to hear him say those words in the way I needed to have my knees weak and palms sweaty, but out of all the days, he picks now to confess—the time when I’ve decided that I can’t do this anymore.

  His frowning expression turns into a small light bulb of realization. “T–that’s impossible…We’re still in school.”

  I briefly shut my eyes, preparing myself to shatter his only small hope of keeping me around. “I have the credits so I’m graduating early.”

  “Fuck!” he shouts while frantically tugging at his messy tendrils, his feet taking a mind of their own as he paces in front of me.

  “I’m sorry,” I whisper, hoping it’ll maybe soften the blow, even though we both know it won’t. That’s the only thing I am sorry for, though. I didn’t want him to find out like this, but I am not sorry for doing it.

  In a way, I want to be able to calm his profusely trembling figure, ease his chest that’s rising and falling at a worrisome pace, and stop the tears racing down his face, but I’m not sure how.

  I can’t even imagine what news like this can do to someone. I know for sure if the roles were reversed, I would be a sobbing mess. I wouldn’t be able to take it.

  “I really have lost you, haven’t I?”

  “This wasn’t how I wanted this to work out.” I sigh, voice shaky from the number of various emotions piling on top of me. “I love you, but I need to do this. I can’t stay here anymore.”

  Finally admitting my love for Hayden seems to take a little pressure off his shoulders, but the distraught state doesn’t change; it only worsens. He takes large steps over till his shoes are touching the tips of my heels.

  “Don’t leave me,” he says quietly, wiping at his flushed cheeks before gingerly brushing curly strands of my hair behind my ear. Everything in his eyes, voice, and body language is showing that he really does want me here, but that doesn’t change where I stand.

  My fingers curl around his wrist that is still on the side of my head, rubbing my thumb over his skin. “I’m not leaving you. I’m leaving for myself.”

  He shakes his head like the reasoning still isn’t enough. “I–I…Why?” He stumbles over the words, trying to find the best thing to say. His fingers comb through my hair so lovingly I almost want to lean into him.

  “We need to learn how to rely on ourselves.”

  Chapter 42

  Elsie

  These days, everything has snuck up on me and slipped out of my grasp without a second to recover.

  My mother and Gabe have a cute little weekend getaway after the wedding, which means I have the duty of looking after the kids the entire time. It’s a challenge in itself to handle a crying newborn and a toddler who harasses me, but I manage.

  Wylie undoubtedly loves to torture anyone around him, normally Gabe. Unfortunately, Leena is far too small, and her bigger brother is already incredibly protective of her, so I end up being the target of his giggles for three days. I really don’t mind in the end. I know I will miss them both dearly while I’m away, so I cherish my time.

  I barely take note of the small flurries falling from the dark clouded sky outside, the smell of evergreen trees fresh in the air, surrounding everything, and the holiday music playing on the radio. It ends up being a calm Christmas holiday spent with family.

  When the clock hits midnight and the ball drops, a new year upon us, it’s mind-numbing. Everything is happening so quickly, and I don’t have time to take it all in. It’s scary. However, I’m ready. I’m ready to leave everything behind to start over, to have something for myself.

  As a child, my mother used to tell me that I have the biggest heart out of anyone she knows. Of course, I know parents are supposed to build your confidence, but deep down I knew I have a spot for other people.

  It’s not something I can control; it’s more so second nature. I don’t have to think twice before I help someone tripping in the hallways or failing a class; it’s always been that way.

  For once, I think it’s time I take control back over my life.

  I need to do something for myself that will help me explore the possibilities out there, that’ll help me discover myself in ways that I could never imagine. I mean, hell, I don’t even know what I want to do for the rest of my life.

  Stemming from recent events, I’ve learned that it’s okay to be selfish. It’s okay to take care of yourself first and do things that you like.

  As my days approach a life-changing journey, I get nervous. I can feel the excitement running through my veins at such a fast rate. It comes much faster than I anticipated, and if it weren’t for my mother, I wouldn’t have my passport, and I probably would have forgotten to pack underwear.

  I require my family to say goodbye at home, a neutral ground for all of us. I don’t want to upset my siblings by putting them in such an odd setting, and I also know if they came to the airport, I would have a hard time climbing on the plane.

  It’s all tears, hugs, and laughs. In the end, my mother bawls her eyes out, demanding I call every single day so she knows I’m okay. I have a difficult time keeping it all together for her.

  Thoughts racing through my head disappear when the feeling of his warm palm hits me. There’s a minute smile on his face that makes my heart thud against my rib cage.

  Hayden didn’t listen when I had begged him to not push the issue of bringing me to the airport so we could see each other one last time. He poked and prodded, whining for days about coming with me so he could tell me goodbye. I couldn’t even manage to say no to those watering emerald orbs and pouting lips.

  “I promise I’ll wait for you,” he says, lip quivering as his finger curl around mine tighter.

  I shake my head; the feeling of his heart detaching from mine is agonizing. “You don’t have to wait for me.”

  “It’s only eight months.” He counters, letting out a shaky breath, but he covers it up with one of those charming grins. “I’ve waited a few years, so I think I can manage a few months.”

  I try my hardest to conjure a smile to convince him that it’ll all be okay. How can I when I don’t even believe it myself? I want him to live his life and be fine. I need him to be happy.

  “Can you promise me something?” I peer up at him, adjusting the bag on my shoulder before grabbing both his hands to hold.

  “Anything,” he says softly, taking a few more steps till there is only an inch of space between us.

  I have to do this for not only him but myself. There isn’t any way I can last eight months so far away without knowing he can do this for me.

  “Promise me that you’ll take care of yourself and you’ll do what makes you happy. You’ll experience new and different things. You’ll live the way you want. You’ll smile and laugh.” My nose burns as tears cloud my vision until it clears when a few roll down my cheeks to create wet streaks. I know we aren’t meant to be, but damn if it doesn’t hurt. It feels like everything in my body is breaking down. “Go to college if you want, or don’t at all. And last but not least…try not to think about me, yeah?”

  He blinks, his pretty lips agape. “I can promise you everything except for that last part, and you know that, Elsie. You’re the only thing I can ever think of, always.” He admits, smiling through the tears as he cups my cheek, wiping
away the wetness.

  I had been so wrong before.

  He knows how to love. He just does it so fast and hard it makes him dizzy, and he doesn’t know how to control it. I know because I did the same exact thing with him; I just handled it differently. Maybe that’s one if his downfalls, but it’s also one of my favorite things about him.

  “You’re the kindest and loving person I know,” I whisper, dropping my bag to the ground so I can lean into his touch. “I’m so incredibly grateful to have you in my life, to have grown up with you.”

  Our emotional state is pulling us both under, and I want more than anything to just break down in his arms, but I can’t. I need to be strong for the both of us. His eyes are bloodshot, his cheeks tinted pink, his chin trembling, and his eyes searching mine frantically for answers I can’t give.

  “This sounds too much like a goodbye.” He croaks, pulling me closer to his body.

  There are things in life that have been difficult, and there are still some to come, but this is one of the worse things I’ve ever had to do. None of this has to be a bad thing though; it’s not like I’m on my deathbed, and there is a chance of us never seeing each other again.

  I shrug a bit, letting a small smile grace my lips because we don’t know what the future holds. Maybe one day our lives will collide again, and until then, I’ll be looking forward to it. We should be thankful we’re given chances to figure ourselves out; we should be thankful.

  Is this a goodbye? Maybe that isn’t so bad.

  He gulps, shaking his head back and forth as a fresh batch of tears flows out of his eyes. “Please don’t do that, Elsie.” This time, he holds my face between both his hands, gently caressing the sensitive skin under my lashes. “You’re my everything.”

  With every single drop of strength I have left, I send him the most reassuring simper I can manage, resting my hands on his and tilting my head to press a light kiss to his fingers. In response, his forehead falls to mine, breath fanning across my face.